Chapter 3

The next morning, Amanda found herself with two dilemmas. The first was how to conquer her sexlessness. The second was what to do with herself all day. She thought her best bet might be to just stay home and loosen herself up all day, but Kerri flatly rejected the idea. "I've got some ideas, but they'll have to wait until later. Besides, you need to relax. You've been stressing yourself out about it too much, Mandy, and sex can't be had in a stressed environment. It's all about relaxing and chilling out. So however you change things, bearing down and concentrating won't help." These instructions left Amanda somewhat skeptical—what was she supposed to do, just drift into sex?—and a little bit nervous as well, since her powers of concentration were all she really had in terms of problem-solving. But of the two of them, Kerri would obviously know much better than Amanda herself would. Her best bet, it seemed, would be to just trust Kerri and see what happened.

Besides, Kerri had something much better to do with the day. She had the brochure ready by the time breakfast was over: "Horseback riding!" And then, at Amanda's skepticism: "Come on, it'll be fun. I'm sure you've done it before, and enjoyed it."

"Yeah, but, I was like fourteen," Amanda said.

"Exactly," said Kerri. "When are you going to get to do it again? The next time you're at a stable, it'll probably be your daughter who's fourteen."

"Oh, god, don't make me think about that," Amanda groaned. She and Patrick were not ready yet; it was as simple as that. Besides, how the heck will we ever conceive?—unless things start going substantially different from how they've been. But she wasn't supposed to be worrying herself about that right now.

"Besides, everyone likes horses," Kerri said, grinning. "Patrick, do you like horses?"

"Umm, sure, I ... They're okay, I guess," said Patrick, clearly out of his depth.

"Winston, honey?" said Kerri with a secret grin.

"Sure, horses," said Winston, grinning back.

"So it's settled!" Kerri chirped.

Amanda said aside to her husband: "If this is some sort of plot, it's far too deep for little ol' me."

"It might not be anything of the sort," he said. "Maybe Kerri just likes horses. Besides, you're the one with the My Little Pony collection."

"Those are collectable," she replied haughtily. "They are not toys, they are an investment in our daughter's future."

So that was how they found themselves on a riding trail somewhere beneath a cloudless tropical sky. Amanda had brought sunscreen, and the Kollaths a picnic lunch, and between Winston's Eagle-Scout badge and Patrick's Marines training, they felt confident in their ability to handle any sort of crisis. And Amanda had to admit, it was nice to be out with horses. Hers was a gentle old nag named Spirit, and after Amanda had introduced herself and fed her an apple, they had been fast friends. Winston seemed to have his animal well in hand, and she was completely surprised at how well Patrick managed his horse, a proud gelding named Starblaze; it was Kerri who was having trouble. Her horse Blinkers seemed perfectly happy to ignore her; she was constantly having to rein him in and distract him from munching on vegetation at the side of the trail. As Kerri was easily distractable herself, Amanda thought it a match made in heaven.

Of course, handling the horses was an adventure in itself. None of them, for instance, were entirely sure how to use the hobbles, which left them the alternatives of either learning or eating lunch in the saddle. They learned, and though it took some vigilance and once horse (Blinkers, of course) nearly got away, they finally managed to get settled down for their picnic lunch. They had found a cozy little cove, a beach of pristine white sand ringed with undergrowth and a curtain of palm trees. Someone could come by via boat, or use the same equestrian trail, so their solitude was not guaranteed; but, for the moment, it was just the four of them (well, eight, counting the horses), and it felt like they might be the only people left in the world.

Maybe that had been part of the plan.

"Do you wanna go on," Kerri said, "or do you mind if we just stick around here a little. It's a really nice place. Get your nap on, work on your suntan ... Just chill." Patrick and Amanda had no objections, so they spread out and relaxed.

Amanda, after making sure she had a liberal coat of sunscreen on, curled up in Patrick's arms and went to sleep, feeling sinfully comfortable—surely it must be against some law to be able to nap in your husband's arms, under this warm sun, here against the breath of the constant surf. But not too long after she found herself jostled awake, as Patrick excused himself, mumbling something about hunting down coconuts.

Amanda got an elbow under her to look around. Patrick was already shuffling off towards the trees that ringed the cove, sending up a backwash of sand with every step. All four horses were still there, waiting patiently. And Kerri and Winston ... A shuffle of flesh, a flash of color; an arm here, a leg there, but it wasn't until she heard Kerri's moan that she flashed to an understanding of what she was seeing.

Then she scrambled to her feet and went after Patrick.

"What are they doing," she hissed.

"Well, if I had to guess," Patrick said, "they're embarking on the next step in our mutual and extended campaign of making you feel comfortable with sex."

"By doing it in front of me?!"

Patrick gave a weary shrug. "I'm sure it all makes sense in Kerri's head. It doesn't in mine, but then, nobody ever consults me on this sort of stuff."

Amanda looked back at her friends. Did they care that she and Patrick could see them? Probably not, or they would never have started. From this vantage point—looking down at them from an angle instead of flat on the ground—it was easier to see what was going on. The bits and pieces of color she had seen were the beach blanket and their cast-off clothing. After getting naked, it appeared that Kerri had simply rolled on her side, her rear facing Amanda and Patrick's towel, and slung a leg over Winston's hip so that...

"That looks kind of fun," Amanda murmured.

"I could've told you that," Patrick grumbled.

She shot him a look. "I thought you were going to try not to be bitter about it."

"Easier said than done," he said. "Especially when your friends start flaunting it in your face like this."

She stepped close to him and drew him to her. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right." His arms fell around her as if by rote. "I mean, it's not your fault."

"Do you want me to ... Do what I did last night?"

He looked at her. "You'd do that?"

"Of course. Patrick, I'm not making these apologies just to be polite or something. Of course I want to be your lover. Believe it or not, I was looking forward to it too. And it frustrates me that I can't."

He was silent for a moment, thinking. "Well ... I don't need you to do anything right now. But I'll keep it under advisement."

She kissed him. "I wouldn't want anything less."

Back on the beach, Kerri and Winston had changed position again. Winston was now lying on his back, while Kerri straddled her hips. She moved in time with him, his hips rising to meet hers as they moved down. Her hands ran up and down over her chest, his over her back.

"Have you ever done that before?" she asked.

He looked over. "Umm ... Can't say I have."

"Would you like to?" she said.

"Well ... Maybe not on the beach. Sand would get everywhere."

"It would?"

"Hon, sand's everywhere already," he said. "Now, imagine doing an activity that would cause it to get to every everywhere."

"Ooh," she said. "Okay, consider your point made."

After a moment, he said, "Doesn't it bother you that they're ... Doing that? So brazenly?"

"I ... I guess it should," she said. "But I know that ... I know they're doing it because they want me to feel more comfortable with sex, and I do appreciate that. And besides, it ... I mean, I've known for a long time that Kerri is a very ... sexual woman, and that she gets up to ... Everything. The idea of her doing something unusual ... It's lost its power to surprise me. You know?"

"Hasn't lost its power to surprise me."

"I can ask her to stop," she said.

He actually seemed to consider it for a moment, which surprised her. But he said, "No, that ... No. Someone should be enjoying their sex life on this honeymoon."

And that just made her feel guilty again. She turned away, her eyes downcast.

"Hey." His arms encircled her; she felt his breath against the back of her head, his chest against her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. Don't take it that way."

"Why not?" she retorted. "It's the truth. This honeymoon isn't going the way you wanted, from a sexual standpoint, and I know that. And it's my fault, and I know that too."

"Hon, it's nobody's fault," he said. "These are just the challenges that we're called to face together. And we'll face them. I didn't get married to you just to flake out if one thing went wrong. Remember what we promised? 'For better or worse; for richer or poorer; in sickness and in health.' This is just one of those sicknesses."

She snorted. "Some sickness." But his arms around her were a comfort to her, and his words as well—as he must have intended. He knows me too well.

Down on the beach, Kerri and Winston had reached some sort of consensus. They had rolled over so that Kerri was on the bottom, receiving him; now, as she watched, Winston disengaged and moved up to straddle her chest. She took his penis into her mouth and began to move up and down on it rapidly, clearly intent on bringing him to his orgasm.

"Isn't that weird?" she said. "That was just in her ... Down-there."

Patrick shrugged. "Well, some people really like the taste of cum. Maybe she's one of them."

"She's not going to get pregnant that way," Amanda said.

Winston let out a gasp. His whole body seemed to flex forward, his face turning upward as though seeking the face of God; for a moment, he and Kerri were frozen: he in the stiffness of his ecstasy, she as she received him. Then Winston gave a final groan and sagged back on his heels. Patrick watched with a level of detachment approaching amusement. "Do I look like that when I climax?"

"I don't know," she said. "Next time, I'll watch."

He kissed her ear. "You really are serious about this. About the fact that ... you want to make it work."

She looked up over her shoulder at him, annoyed. "Do you think I would lie about that? You're not the only person who intends to see this marriage through to the bitter end."

He kissed her. "I'm glad."

By the time the kiss had ended, she had turned in his arms and was facing him, her arms around his neck. They had been this way so many times before, and she had always felt safe here. But now there was more to it. She wished she was ready to make love to him. Sex was one of the ways you showed your husband you loved him, she knew that much for certain, and she had so much love to show him...

"Hey, you guys!" It was Kerri's voice. "What are you doing? And, perhaps more importantly, what aren't you doing?"

They broke the kiss to look back down the beach. Winston and Kerri were coming up to them, hand in hand—still undressed, of course, but perhaps that was to be expected. Winston's penis flopped from side to side as he walked. Kerri, Amanda noted, was a natural blonde.

"Come on, you guys!" Kerri said, beaming. "Don't you feel the spirit move you?"

"If you're concerned about privacy, we can move off a ways," Winston offered.

"Oh, no, it's not that," Patrick said. "We're just not as comfortable with, err, public displays of ... boffery."

Kerri and Winston looked at each other. It could not be clearer that they had not expected this response.

"But ... Amanda..." said Kerri, helpless. "Don't you... Want to? To, you know ... Do it?"

"Of course I do," Amanda said, smiling. "I want to do it—even if only because Patrick wants to; but I want to do it from myself too. But it's just ... It's going to need to take its own course."

Winston looked at Patrick. "You're a more patient man than I."

"Oh, it's been tested," Patrick said, smiling. "But I'm not worried. She's not lying, she does want to do it, and that's good enough to start with. And in the meantime, we're developing ... Workarounds."

"Oh?" said Kerri.

Amanda looked at Patrick, and saw from his expression that he didn't mind it if she told them. So she told them: "Well, last night I performed oral sex on him."

Kerri stared, her mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"Wow, I've rendered Kerri speechless," said Amanda, grinning. "That takes some doing."

"You— I can't believe you— You really— You did?!" Kerri spluttered. "—Like, all the way?!"

"Yes, all the way," Amanda said, a little irked. "Until he came."

"W— How— I don't—" She turned to her husband. "Win, when I climaxed, did it boot me into an alternate universe or something?"

"Oh, come on, Ker, is it really that surprising?" said Winston, smiling at Amanda. "Think of what you know about her. It's Amanda. If there's one thing she takes seriously, it's her responsibilities. And to her way of thinking, being a good lover to her husband is a responsibility. Of course she's going to do whatever she can to make it go right."

"Okay, that's all true," said Kerri, "but you can't blame me for being surprised. When has she ever shown any indication of having, or wanting to have, sexual prowess? Blowjobs are not exactly vanilla sex here."

"Yes they are," Winston said. "They're pretty much standard operating procedure for couples in this day and age."

"No, they aren't," Patrick said, "not if you buy into the theories of sex Amanda does."

"Which is?" Winston said.

"Lie back and think of England," Patrick said.

"That's not true, she doesn't think that way at all," Winston said.

"Think what way?" said Amanda.

"Amanda," Kerri asked her. "If the only benefit to sex was that it pleased your husband, but you didn't particularly enjoy it yourself, would you still do it?"

"Of course," said Amanda, wondering why it needed asking. Didn't Kerri know her by now?

"I rest my case," said Patrick.

"Amanda," Winston said, "do you want to have sex? Of your own self? Not just because Patrick does?"

"Well, yes," said Amanda. "Besides, aren't I supposed to want it? I don't want this to be just something I do. I want to be normal about this."

"Did watching us make you horny?" said Kerri.

"What?"

"Did it make you want to have sex?" Kerri said.

"Did it make you physically aroused," Patrick corrected. "I'm pretty sure that, if there was any wanting going on, it was more of an intellectual thing."

" ... Yeah," said Amanda. "I mean, it made me want to have sex, but it didn't make me ready to have sex." She grimaced. "It seems like nothing can make that happen, if last night is any indication."

"Why, what happened last night?" Winston asked.

Amanda gave a helpless shrug. "He tried everything, I tried everything, but I couldn't get ... Aroused."

"Well, it didn't help that you were focusing on it so hard," said Patrick. "Sex isn't something you make happen, baby. It's something you let happen. You just ... I dunno, drift into it."

She couldn't say that she found that very reassuring.

"Don't worry, hon, I've already got some ideas as to how to make that easier," said Kerri. "So. Now that we've had lunch and I've had my fresh-squeezed dessert, shall we continue on our ride?"

"Seems to me you had quite a ride already," Patrick remarked.

"Oh, thank god, someone was watching!" Kerri exclaimed. "I'd hate to think we put on that show and got sand up in my pussy all for nothing!" She led the way back to the horses, with Patrick shaking his head in amusement as he followed.

It took most of the afternoon to go round the horse trail and get back to the hotel. They made good time, but were hindered by a couple bathroom stops, at least one of which was just another excuse for Kerri and Winston to go get it on. That one was fun, since another set of equestrians came up behind them and then, thinking it a good suggestion, also debarked their horses to go "use the bathroom." Thankfully, the Kollaths were quick on the uptake when they emerged from the brush. They rode off snickering, while Patrick and Amanda traded relieved glances. Still, it was some time before Kerri was able to unveil her new plan.