Chapter 1

When Amanda Daniels woke up, she thought, Oh, that's right, I'm Amanda Greer now. The thought made her inordinately happy.

Patrick was still asleep, his arm flung carelessly to one side; she remembered several elbows in the night. Around her was the paneled majesty of the bridal suite: they had curtains and a four-poster bed and even a jacuzzi. Kerri had insisted they take it; she and Winston were in a presidential suite one level down. Amanda was grateful, but she was a creature of habit; sleeping in new places was difficult for her.

The overall decorative motif for the bridal suite was white, with lace ruffles here and there and touches of both cream and pink to set it all off. The pure, untouched colorings were ironic, considering what it had been mostly used for last night. Patrick's hands had been all over her. All over her, for the first time. She still wasn't wearing anything. That had been another uncomfortable new thing to learn to live with. That, and Patrick's elbows and knees as he rolled in his sleep; and his mouth-breathing, this close to being snoring. And his arms around her in the night, his heartbeat against her back too; those were more pleasant to adapt to.

He began to stir, and she leaned down to kiss him awake. "Good morning," she said.

"Good morning," he said. It made her heart dance in her breast to hear it—she had heard the words before, from many different people, even from Patrick on occasion; but never first thing in the morning, from the mouth of her husband and love of her life. "What time is it?"

"Time to get up," she said. "Remember? We said we'd meet the Kollaths at nine for the continental breakfast, and our flight leaves at one."

"Hzmrgh," he mumbled. He rolled over and buried his face in a pillow. "Five more minutes..."

"Come on, dozy-toes," she said, kissing his shoulders, his back, his neck. "Up and at 'em." It took her a little while, but she got him on his feet, and then shoveled him in the shower while she packed up the clothes they had left strewn around the floor last night. This was her wedding dress; she wanted to keep it for the rest of her life. "Why don't you come in with me," he asked when she pushed him in the shower, but she ignored him. Shower with him? What a silly idea. She had the whole area packed up and ready to go by the time he got out, and she jumped in and showered quickly. Leaving her dark hair unbound—it would dry faster that way, and besides Patrick liked it loose—she scampered out to dress.

As she got herself decently clothed, Patrick approached. To her surprise, he wasn't wearing anything yet. "We're awake," he said, "but I haven't had a chance to say good morning to you properly." He scooped her into his arms and gave her a long, lingering kiss. He was quite a bit taller than her, but she was long used to rising up on tippy-toes to reach him, knowing that he would be there to catch her if she fell.

"Good morning, Mrs. Greer," he said, smiling.

"Good morning, Mr. Greer," she returned. "We finally made it."

"We did," he said. "There were some rough spots this week, what with flowers and all—"

"Ugh, god, don't remind me."

"—but we made it. And here we are." He reached down to kiss her again, and she let herself melt into his embrace, her arms around his neck.

"I liked what we did last night," he said, and she became suddenly aware of his manhood bumping against her belly. Now his nudity made sense.

"Baby, I love you, but, we don't have time," she said. "We have to be downstairs in ten minutes."

"They can wait," he said, his voice husky. Their foreheads were together and his eyes were inches from her own.

"Honey, I don't want to be late," she said. "That's not a good way to start off our marriage. Besides, we'll have time tonight ... And every night for the rest of our lives."

He gave a sigh. "All right. But I'm holding you to that, darling." His hand drifted lower, squeezed her rear gently. "I want you."

She smiled. "And I you."

As he bent next to her to dig clothing out of his bag, she allowed herself to look over his body—tall (over six feet), well-muscled, with a firm behind, a narrow waist leading up to broad shoulders. He had been in the Marines. She wished she could feel desire for him, but she didn't know how. She knew he had been looking forward to the consummation. If only she could've said the same.

Kerri and Winston were already waiting down in the lobby for them. Amanda greeted them with smiles and kisses—after all, they were practically family. "Good morning, Mrs. Kollath."

Kerri laughed. "Who? What? Winnie's mom is here? Where?"

Kerri and Amanda had been flung together by the random chance of freshman roommate assignments. Now Amanda thought of Kerri as less a best friend and more a sister. When both of them became engaged within a month of each other, it was Kerri's idea to have a joint wedding, but Amanda liked it, and both their fiancés were amenable. Patrick and Winston had never been quite as close, but they were friends and got along fine.

"Well, come on then, Mrs. Greer," Kerri chirped, grabbing both Amanda and Winston by the hand; Amanda caught Patrick with her free hand, tugging him along. "Breakfast awaits, and then the honeymoon! A week's worth of tropical paradise with nothing to hold us back!" Kerri was a small, neat blonde with a pixie haircut and bubbly, effervescent personality; she had a way of making Amanda feel middle-aged by comparison. Patrick had never once complained, but she had a hunch that he might've traded her body's for Kerri if the option had existed; Kerri had the slim, practically anorexic look that was so in fashion today, while Amanda had to fight the fat and her raven hair to look attractive.

Patrick and Winston could not have been more different either. Winston was not nearly as tall and had a sloppy, unshaven rock-star look to him. He wore glasses, and corduroys and collared shirts, but she knew Patrick could never have done that sort of look; she was still fighting him to grow his hair out past five centimeters. She liked having male hair to play with, something Winston had in abundance.

"So, how was your evening?" Kerri asked with a playful grin.

Amanda glanced at Patrick. "It was lovely," she said, self-conscious. "We went upstairs and, umm, made ourselves comfortable ... And then we went to sleep." That was about as close as she was going to get to admitting in public that she and her husband had had sex last night.

Kerri had no such compunctions. "Oh, 'made yourselves comfortable, ' is that what they're calling it nowadays?" She giggled. "Winston and I just had sex. You know, same old same old. Didn't need any new names for it."

Amanda could feel her face redden. To deter the inevitable question, she said, "How was it? Any good?" On the list of things she would rather not discuss over breakfast, Winston and Kerri's sex life was near the top of the list—just under the topic of her sex life with Patrick.

"Oh, girl, you would not believe!" said Kerri. "He made me climax so hard my toes are still curled! People probably heard me down the hall!" She giggled again.

Amanda nodded and smiled and tried to look knowledgeable. Kerri spoke often of this mythical 'climax' thing, which evidently was the most awesome thing since sliced bread. Amanda had no idea personally what it was, since Kerri just took it for granted. The best thing Amanda could do, as far as she could tell, was just play along.

One of the reasons Amanda valued her friend so much was that Kerri had so many different opinions from her. Sex was one of them. Amanda was a devout Christian who had decided to wait until marriage; Patrick, who had lost his virginity in the Marines, had the patience to wait. But Kerri and Winston had been doing it practically since day one, much to Patrick's envy. The way they talked about it was a complete mystery to Amanda. Wasn't it true that sex was a dirty, sinful thing, and should only be engaged in to strengthen the bonds of marriage, and in the hope of children? Personally, Amanda didn't understand how Patrick putting his thingie into her whathaveyou had 'strengthened' their marriage—he had gasped and made faces and strained as if something were painful, while she had wondered what was going on. But Patrick had liked it, since he wanted to do it again. She knew there was more going on here than she was aware of; that wasn't news. But she wished she knew what.

They ate while they chattered about the vacation ahead; fortunately, Kerri seemed to have satisfied her need to discuss the details of her and Winston's intimate life. And before long, they were handing over their luggage at the airport, and the plane was leaping into the sky. Amanda had never flown before, and Kerri willingly passed up the window seat to her.

The seating arrangements were a moment of tension; they had booked two rows of two, but Kerri requested that she be allowed to sit with Amanda. "I know you just got your hands on her, Patrick, but you'll have that for the rest of your life. Right now we've got girl talk to get done. And wouldn't you rather us do that now, then later when we're on the ground?" Patrick relented with good grace, laughing when Winston pointed out that they could likewise have 'guy talk, ' and so when Amanda flew for the first time in her life, it was with her sister at her side, not her husband.

"So," Kerri said, setting her cocktail glass down on the unfolded tray table and turning to face her. "How was it?"

Amanda feigned ignorance, hoping she'd be deterred. "How was what?"

"You know, silly!" Kerri dropped her voice as low as it could get (not very) and put on an expression of mock solemnity. "The consummation."

Amanda stifled a sigh. If it had to happen, let it happen quickly. "Oh, it was ... It was fine. Very pleasant." She took a sip of her Coke to avoid looking at Kerri's scandalized expression.

"'Very pleasant'? Your consummation, your de-virginalization, the first sex of your life and all you can say is that it was 'very pleasant'?"

"Well, what's to say?" Amanda said. "We kissed, he put his hands on my body, he put his thing in me, and that was that."

Kerri's expression was something to behold. For a moment she debated turning to Patrick and asking for the camera.

"Girl, I know you were a virgin, but he wasn't. And besides, It's your husband. Come on. You're making love to the man of your life. Didn't you feel more than that?"

Amanda shrugged.

"God, at least say he made you cum."

The terminology escaped her. " ... Made me what?"

"Made you orgasm."

Amanda blinked at her.

"Climax? Made you climax?"

"Umm ... Yeah," Amanda lied, grasping at straws. "Yeah, it was ... great."

"Amanda, you don't even know what that word means, do you." It wasn't a question.

Amanda sighed. "Look, I'm not ... Kerri, I'm not like you, okay? You're all ... You and Winston have sex, a lot, and I know that. That's just not who I am."

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean it's okay to not enjoy it," Kerri said.

"I ... I did enjoy it," Amanda protested.

Kerri arched an eyebrow.

"Look, can we drop it, okay?" Amanda said. "This isn't important."

"Yes it is," Kerri said, and to Amanda's surprise her voice was not angry. It was sad. "Hon, it is important that you enjoy sex. It's one of the most miraculous things you'll ever do with your husband, and one of the most intimate. You'll see parts of him and learn things about him that nobody else ever will. You'll get to do things to him that are incredibly special, and have incredibly special things done to you in return. To speak your language, it's part of what God wants you to share with your husband. And you plan to tell me that it's not important that you share it?"

"Okay, fine," Amanda said, to get Kerri off her case. "How do I enjoy it."

She was surprised when Kerri entered a thoughtful silence. She chewed on the straw of her cocktail before handing the drink to Amanda and standing up to look over the back of the airline chair. "Pat, honey?"

"Yes, Kerri?"

"Does Amanda masturbate?"

Amanda felt her jaw drop. To just ask that, so brazenly—and of her husband! Surely Patrick would have the sense to not answer. But no, his voice came back quickly, even over the rushing din of the air flowing by outside. "No, not to my knowledge."

"To your knowledge, has she ever climaxed?"

"Not to my knowledge, no."

"All right. Thanks, handsome." That was Kerri's way—to flirt with, well, just about everybody. She settled back into her seat again and regarded Amanda with a mixture of speculation and pity.

Amanda felt a twinge of worry in her gut. "Do you really think this is important, Ker?"

"Yeah, Mandy, I do," Kerri said. "To your happiness and to your marriage."

Amanda sighed. "Well ... Then, tell me. Tell me what to do."

"What do you think I'm trying to figure out," Kerri said with a hint of a smile. "A crash course on human sexuality. Not an easy subject. Did your parents ever talk to you about it? I mean, I bet you got the birds-and-the-bees thing."

"Yeah."

"And, if not, you'd know about it by now, since it just went on in your body last night."

Oh, that aspect of the birds and the bees. "Right." She'd have preferred to ignore that part.

"What did your parents say when they caught you masturbating?" Kerri asked.

Amanda shrugged. "They never did."

"Wait, so, you were good at sneaking about it?" said Kerri. "But if that's true, then how come ... Oh. Right. You just didn't, at all. Ho boy. All right, umm ... Did they have anything to say to you about sex in the context of marriage? I mean, obviously they told you not to have it until you got married."

Amanda nodded.

"Did they say anything about becoming sexual?"

"What?"

"I mean, like, they discouraged masturbation, right?"

"Well ... Yeah. It's right there in the Bible, the sin of Onan."