I never had any intention of being back in this city. Never in the far recesses of my mind had I ever thought about coming back to my home. It has been over two years since I left and I wouldn't be here now if I didn't feel that I had to.

My father has a heart problem; something to do with a clogged artery and has to have bypass surgery. He was in the hospital waiting for the operation. I came home because he refused to let the doctors operate until I was there. I just hope the ongoing feud I have with my brother doesn't erupt and cause a problem.

My name is Jazz O'Connor (actually it's Jasper after my great grandfather, but please don't call me that). My brother William and I are the children of James and Mary and I am the youngest at 27. My brother is the reason I left my family and my home. If I hadn't left, I might have done to William what Cain did to Abel.

William is five years older than me and from my first memories has teased and tormented me. Most big brothers bully their younger brothers a little but it's sort of a tough love type of thing. Not William, he apparently hated me from the moment I was born.

Maybe it was because I was the baby of the family and he thought I got the attention that was rightfully his. Maybe it was because I looked like our father and people made remarks about our similarities. I don't know, but we never developed the bond that brothers should.

He would do something bad at home and blame it on me. When our parents weren't around he would hit me, not like a playful punch but with intent to actually hurt me. I learned very quickly to hide from him when they were gone. William would be punished but it never seemed to deter him.

He was much bigger than me; he took after our mothers Germanic ancestors. At twenty he was 6' 3" to my 5'7" and outweighed me by 50 pounds. I finally grew another 3 inches to 5'10". I took after my father with our Irish ancestry and looked just like he did at my age.

Anyway you get the idea that there was no love lost between William and me. My father loved all his children, but he and I had a special bond. I'm sure this was part of the reason for William's attitude toward me. My father and I were athletic, William wasn't. We liked to do things outdoors like hunting, fishing, or even just hiking through the woods. William would rather watch T.V. or play on the computer.

William was more outgoing than me, an extrovert personality. I was reserved, subdued, an introverted type. His brashness, his ability to talk to people, and his natural intelligence made him the logical choice to run my father's business. My family owns an electronics company that builds specialty communications equipment.

We both worked at most of the jobs in the factory to learn the business, but William was much better at sales, schmoozing with clients and the social aspects of the business and I was pretty good at the nuts and bolts part. We weren't stinking rich but we were stinking comfortable.

The blowup came when I was 22 and just home after graduation from college. Other than the little tomboy neighbor, Melody Thomas, that I grew up with, I had never brought a girl home before. She didn't really count because we were just fishing buddies and she was four years younger than me. We were pals until our junior year in high school. Then Melody and her family moved to another state and I hadn't seen her in over six years. After they moved she wrote a letter every month or so for a few months but they stopped coming.

This time I brought a young lady home with me. My parents were happy that I was overcoming my shyness. Shelley and I met in college and fell into instant "like" with each other. I managed to push myself out of my shell and asked her for a date. That date led to others and shortly we were a couple.

At Christmas her parents were on a cruise or something so I brought her home to meet my family. Shelley and I had agreed that we wanted to be together but a marriage proposal was never actually given.

Mom was courteous and friendly when she met Shelley, but she apparently wasn't as taken with her as I was. I thought that when Mom got to know her better she would warm up to Shelley. Dad was his usual charming, somewhat flirty self with Shelley. But even Dad didn't seem to really take to her. I don't mean that my parents were standoffish because they were very nice to her, but the spark or whatever wasn't there.

After graduation, Shelley's parents were on a trip to Europe or somewhere so again we came to my parents' house to spend a few weeks until her parents got home. Then we would go to her home and I would meet her folks. My mom and dad were courteous and friendly toward Shelley, but again the spark just wasn't there. I noticed it but I was too much in love to think anything about it.

My family owns a big house, six bedrooms, and a lot of land about 40 miles outside of the city. We have 165 acres mostly in trees. Shelley had gone on one of her two or three weekly trips into the city, so my dad and I took a long ride on dirt bikes using the trails that my dad and I had blazed through the woods. Racing through the oak, hickory and pine trees was a real adrenalin rush, something Dad and I enjoyed very much. When we got back as Dad and I cleaned the dirt off the bikes, I hit him with my surprise.

"Dad, what do you think of Shelley?"

"She seems to be a nice young lady. Why?"

"I'm going to ask her to marry me. We've talked about being together, so I think we should make it official. What'da think Pop?"

"Well ... That's an important decision. Oh hell, this will piss you off but I believe you should think about this some more before you jump in with both feet. I don't want to make you mad but there's just something about Shelley that doesn't set right with your mother and me."

"You don't know her like I do and I'm old enough to make up my own mind." I was angry and hurt that Dad didn't care for Shelley. I stomped off toward the house. As I got closer I saw what had to be William's car, a new Mercedes 4 seat convertible. He was the only one in the family that would spend that kind of money for transportation. I went into the house.

We always ate in the huge kitchen, Mom and Dad said they didn't want to put on airs so we had turned the dining room into a sort of library. Floor to ceiling bookshelves were added and several comfortable reading chairs were moved in. Mom said William was in the library.

As I passed the door to the library I heard William's voice. He had been on an extended business trip and then stayed at his apartment in the city for the last week. I don't know if he came out to the house to see me or what. I opened the library door to say hello to him.

William was in the library alright and now I knew why he came out to the house; he was holding and kissing Shelley. She was an active participant and seemed to be enjoying herself. I stood there for a while, in shock I guess, and started to leave. No dammit I thought, this time I'm not running away. He had finally stepped over the line in tormenting me. The lovers hadn't heard or seen me yet so I crossed the room to them.

A little aside here. While in school I worked out to keep in shape. Just sitting around drinking beer and eating pizza didn't appeal to me so I ran 4 miles twice a week. I also went to the gym twice a week. My roomy was a boxer and got me interested because of the hard physical training. I found that I had a talent for boxing and enjoyed it. I would train like I was going to fight and then spar for 30 minutes with other boxers. I was in the best and most dangerous shape of my life.

I got behind William and Shelley and called his name softly. When he came up for air and turned around, I hit him in the nose with a straight right. The punch didn't travel move than eight inches but down he went. William is a big strapping guy with very large arms and fists. But this large man was knocked on his ass by his little brother and it infuriated him.

William roared and got to his feet only to be knocked down again. The whole time Shelley was crying and saying things like don't hurt him and please stop. I never did figure out if she was worried about William or about me.

"Get up you big son of a bitch so I can knock you down again," I screamed at him. I really hoped he would keep getting up. There were a lot of years to get payback for.

He got up and charged me, trying to overwhelm me with his size. William is a big man, but he couldn't fight worth a damn. This time I was able to hit him four or five times before he hit the floor again. Then my dad came in and ruined all my fun.

"Jazz stop it. Stop it now." He put his arms around me to make me stop. I struggled to get loose but couldn't break my dad's hold on me. "William sit in that chair and let's see how bad your hurt," Dad ordered. Believe me when Dad uses that tone of voice you had better listen.

"Let him up Dad, I haven't ever started to beat on him. Let the asshole go!"

"Hush Jazz. Settle down. You broke his nose, isn't that enough?" Dad asked me. I shook my head no, that I wanted more.

"What the hell Shelley? Isn't one O'Connor enough for you? Are you going after my father next?" I was being nasty.

Shelley started blubbering to me that she met William at Christmas and they had been having a long distance relationship ever since. Now I was pissed.

"Why did you keep going out with me? If you wanted William why not tell me?"

"You were there with me and William was a long way away," Shelley answered.

"You fed me all that crap about wanting to wait until you were married. I treated you like a lady and never touched you below the neck or above the knee and the whole time you were screwing William's socks off. You've been going into the city two or three times a week; now I know why." Trying to gain control of myself, I stopped and took a few deep breaths.

Shelley objected saying, "We haven't slept together Jazz. I was serious about waiting until I got married."

"Bullshit Shelley, don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining. Well you got what you wanted; you can have William or what's left of him. But first pack you stuff and get out. If he wants to bring you back that's on him but you're not staying here on my invitation. Get packed and get out," I ordered her. My dad started to say something about her not having transportation.

"She can call a cab, or walk, or crawl like the snake she is Dad. She is not staying here," I answered. Shelley left the room crying. While this discussion was going on, William sat in the chair bleeding. I had busted his nose, cut up both of his lips, and he would have two black eyes very shortly. He tried to get up and Dad pushed him back down.

"Let him up," I told Dad. "I want to kick his ass again." There was no mercy in my soul; I was ready to seriously hurt William.

"There's been enough fighting and I can't let you make Shelley leave this evening. She can arrange transportation tomorrow but I won't throw a guest out on their butt at night."

"Dad, she was my guest and I want her gone."

"Jazz calm down. She can leave tomorrow when one of us can take her back to the city," he responded with iron in his voice.

"If she doesn't leave, I will. I won't stay in the same house with that slut and my asshole brother. Your choice Dad."

"You put me in an impossible position, Jazz. I can't throw Shelley out tonight, she will leave tomorrow. And this is William's home too, don't forget."

"I guess that tells me where I stand then. Maybe Shelley won't leave tonight, but I will. Say good bye to Mom for me." I knew I was being unreasonable, but I had a right. It was unreasonable for my brother to make a move on my girl. It was unreasonable for my girl to accept his advances. So I had a right to be unreasonable now.

"Jazz, please..." Dad started.

"You've taken William's and his slut's side against me, so be it. Enjoy, I hope the three of you will be happy together." I stomped out of the library and went to my room to pack. Throwing just a few things in a backpack I went down the back stairs and out to the big garage. I was going to get my Harley and ride off. My mom was leaning against my bike waiting on me.

"Jasper, where do you think you're going young man? Now I was in trouble, Mom never called me Jasper unless she was really upset with me.

"Just away from here, Mom. I have no idea where I'll end up."

Mom softened her voice and asked me, "Please stay Jazz. Don't leave like this; it will devastate your father. He doesn't want Shelley here, but he can't put her out tonight and thanks to you, William's in no condition to drive so she has to stay until morning. It doesn't mean he chosen William and her over you."

I looked at her, surprised that she knew everything that was going on. Of course, she always knew everything even when we were kids. "Yeah, I heard the whole thing. Please don't leave son," Mom pleaded with me.

"I can't stay Mom. I can't stand to be around William, to see him smirk at me because he's taken something that was mine. I'm not really mad at Dad; I just can't stay with William here. I'll call or write to let you know where I am, whenever I get there."

Strapping my backpack onto the Harley, I hugged and kissed my mother. She handed me my leather biker's wallet. Looking through it the next day, I found over a thousand dollars. The big bike rumbled after I kicked it over. I kissed Mom again and rode out of the garage. My destination was unknown but I was on my way.

I called my mother after three days to let her know I was okay. She wanted me to talk to my dad, but I wasn't ready yet. After that I called every five or six days to check in. I talked to my dad the second time I called and explained that I wasn't mad at him. He understood that I couldn't be around William right now. About a month after I left I was in Camp Verde, Arizona working at a pecan farm; I didn't know anything about pecans but I know machinery. I'm a pretty good jack leg mechanic and my degree in mechanical engineering helped.

The gig at Camp Verde lasted for two months before I got restless and moved on. My next stopping point was Van Horne, Texas again working as a farm machinery mechanic. That's the thing about mechanics; they can always find a job where ever they go. Especially in small towns. Three months in Van Horne and I was on the move again.

I was a young healthy man and there were a few women along the way. Before I took a gal out more than twice I gently let them know that other than fun and games there would be no long term relationship. I told them that I didn't know how long I would stay in any one place.

There was an old T.V. show called "Then Came Bronson" that depicted a disillusioned guy riding around the country on a Harley Sportster and never staying very long in one place. That was me and my life style. I would stay in a town until I didn't want to be there any longer and then get on my Harley and ride on.

When I left Van Horne, I rode back west across Arizona to Las Vegas. Not for gambling or the shows or the women, but to meet my mother and father. They were at a convention for the electronic industry and didn't know I was coming. I was going to knock on their hotel room door and surprise them.

Dad opened the door and I didn't know what to say. Apparently he didn't think words were necessary because he grabbed and hugged me. Mom came into the small entry to see who was at the door and she rushed over to join the family hug. For several minutes no words were needed, the hugs and kisses and tears said it all.

Mom pulled me into the room and wouldn't let go of my hand. She and I sat on the bed and Dad was in a chair across from us. It seemed like a hundred questions were asked and answered. I told them about my travels, the places I had worked and the people I had met. Then the big question was asked.

"When are you coming home son?" I think Dad beat Mom with the question by about one second.

"Don't know, not for awhile yet," I answered. I went on to explain that I needed to get my head around William and Shelley. Somewhere as I was riding, I realized that I hadn't really been in love with Shelley. It was William's actions that bothered me. He knew that she was my girl and yet he went after her. I told them until I could get over his "thief" I couldn't come home.

"It's not as if you would be in competition for her. William and she got married last month. She's your brother's wife now, so get over it and come home," Dad was almost ordering me.

"That doesn't make any difference. William showed what an ass is his, he showed a total lack of respect for me and until I can get around that I don't want to be around him. I wouldn't ask you guys to make a choice between us, so I'll just stay on the road for awhile. Besides, if I come home now I'll probably finish what I started in the library that day."

After the first rush of question, answers, and stories about my travels, my father said he had to see the manager about a room for me. As I said, they were at a convention and rooms in the better hotels were in short supply. Dad returned and shortly there was a knock on the door. It was some guy that thanked my dad for his generosity. I found out later that Dad paid for an upgrade to a suite for the guy so I could have the adjoining room.

That evening while the three of us were at dinner I said, "I'm surprised that William didn't sic the sheriff on me for assaulting him."

Dad sort of laughed and responded, "He wouldn't do that for two reasons: First I wouldn't allow it, but second he didn't want to admit that his "little" brother kicked his ass one on one."

Mom didn't think it was funny, but Dad and I laughed like hyenas. Mom and Dad blew off the convention so we could visit. While we were in Las Vegas, I learned not to draw to an inside straight; I also learned that if a beautiful girl seemed to be in love with me to check my wallet or expect to pay for her company. After three days they flew back home and I hit the road again.