Chapter 4: Following Master's footprints?

I spent a very restless night. I only got to sleep in short fits. Every little noise woke me up. My heart felt like a frightened animal, wriggling in my chest, and my whole body was covered in cold sweat. The first few times I checked my watch, but the hands still claimed dawn was far. I felt an unpleasant sensation in my belly, like a bundle of nerves, doubtless due to my fear. While the intrusion had taken place, I had been carried away by the whole situation: I had just woken up, and I was confused, tied and blindfolded. I merely reacted, and looking back I could understand how transparent I had been. But afterwards, lying alone in bed, I had no option but to consider what had happened.

My enemy, and I truly meant the word, had violated my privacy in my very own room. I knew that he could open and close the door's lock as easily as I could myself. He had made it clear when he locked me in after leaving. Worse, I knew he had a camera in my room, and I didn't have any idea where. There just wasn't any other way he could have known how I had sniffed his socks and all that. He could have done anything. In fact, he could still do anything. What he had made me do was incredibly humiliating, disturbing, and painful, but it could have been much worse.

During my lucid intervals, I tried to convince myself that there was a way out of this mess. I imagined myself heroically confronting him, telling him how I would not play his sick games any longer. I imagined myself, like a detective, looking for his camera and the recordings he had made of me, and bringing him to justice. I knew I was only consoling myself, though, and that I would never be able to act my hopes. How could I even start looking for the camera, when it could be recording me that very moment? I hadn't been told not to do it, but I was certain the stranger wouldn't be sympathetic to this argument.

The worst part was how sometimes my mind wondered, and I fell into a half-sleeping state, in which my unconsciouss explored the horrible consequences of disobedience. From being exposed as a pervert to my friends and family, to being punished in much harsher and painful ways. I was overall glad that I couldn't remember those episodes too clearly: instead, I just woke up startled, my fear redoubled, and all too often with my cock erect. I still found it unbelievable and confusing how thinking about humiliation and punishment could arouse me sexually, but I couldn't deny it any longre. What I found difficult to sort through was whether I had been forced, or whether I had complied freely. I knew I hadn't wanted the punishment, though, and I hadn't enjoyed it. But what about the other things?

After having a miserable night, dawn came at last. I was tired, sleepy, my arse was still a bit sore, and I had a strange taste in my mouth. Still, I didn't think there were many chances for sleep, so I decided to get up. The day looked a bit grey, but at least it wasn't raining. I carefully washed myself, spending several minutes washing my teeth, hoping for that taste to go away. I got some clothes suitable to go out, showered and ate a small breakfast. The common room was empty as I prepared myself some sandwiches for a packed lunch. I needed to get out of that place for a bit, to look at something that didn't make me follow the same worn paths in my head. A day outside was what the doctor ordered, and I could at least try to enjoy myself.

When my lunch was ready, I went back to my room to get my phone. I remembered then that I'd been given another pair of socks to wash, and the stranger wanted them ready by night. I didn't know whether to wash them before going out, or after coming back, so I tossed a coin and I did it before. I followed the same process as I had at night, but I was able to see what I was doing, so it took a lot less time and effort. I put them on the radiator to dry by the other ones, and left the flat with that weight off my mind. The coin had been right.

I had been living in the city for less than a week, so I didn't know it very well. I was a bit tempted to walk about the streets, looking at the cafés and pubs, but I needed something more soothing. I started by going to the biggest park. Uni hadn't started yet, but schools had, so I wasn't surrounded by running children. I walked around the paths, looking at the trees which already were shedding some leaves, and relaxed. I had always enjoyed looking at nature, even if it was tamed by man.

I tried to sit on one of the benches, but they weren't very comfortable, and although my arse didn't hurt much it would be a constant reminder, exactly what I didn't want. So instead I kept walking about, until I had seen the whole park. It had taken just about an hour, and I still had plenty of time and not much of a clue what to do with it, but I'd heard there were some nice woods in the outskirts of the city. How to get there was a different story, though.

I took a look at the bus routes, and found a connection which would take me near the woods. On impulse, I rode the next bus that way, and decided I'd try to walk there. I had lunch anyway, so I wouldn't be in any hurry to get home. Traffic was light, and the bus soon dropped me at my destination, way away from the city centre. I consulted the map by the bus stop, tried to work out a way to get to the woods, and after I had committed it to memory, I set off.

Eventually I found myself walking around the woods, doing the usual things: looking at trees, birds, squirrels, and just letting myself go. Time passed almost without notice, and I started feeling hungry, so I just sat by a big oak and ate my lunch. I looked at the sky, and it didn't seem to threaten rain, so I kept walking into the woods.

I was already turning back when my phone rang. I was so startled I jumped. I took the call, and it was Ron.

"Hey, Dave, where the hell are you?"

"I've no idea. I can't really describe it too well."

"What do you mean? You're out, right?"

"Sure. What's up? Everything ok?"

"Fine. Alan, Victor and I were thinking of making dinner together again. You out with that girlfriend of yours?"

"Nah, just by myself. If you guys are cooking I'm in. I've no plans or anything. What about Chris?"

"Ah, right! That's what I was hoping to hear. Chris isn't joining us, he has some stuff to do for uni already. We'll probably start cooking around five. Can you be back by then? Seriously, where is it you are anyway?"

"I'm in the woods by the city. Hopefully I'm not completely lost and I can get back in time. Do you guys need anything? I can pass by a shop and get something if you want."

"Hmm, not sure, let me ask the guys." I heard him calling them and asking if they needed anything.

"No, we're cool. If you can be bothered you could bring a couple of bottles of wine, since we ran out of it last time. If not it's cool, though, no worries."

"Sure, I'll see what I can do and how soon I can get back to civilisation. See you in a bit then."

I turned back, and I managed to make my way towards the bus stop. I had a good memory for landmarks and although I'd always lived in a town I knew my way around woods. I wasn't exactly a survival expert, but the orientation part wouldn't have been the problem. As I was making my way out of the woods, I saw a running squirrel. It was heading the same way I was, and I wondered what would be worse, the chance of being hunted by a predator, or the unfamiliar environment it was approaching.

I took the next bus towards the centre, and it soon dropped me off. It was still afternoon, so I went to a supermarket, bought two bottles of wine, did my best to ignore the reproach in the looks of the cashier, and walked home. I arrived there, left the bottles on the common room counter, and took a shower. I'd been walking around for a good few hours, and I wasn't dressed in the most comfortable clothes for home anyway, so I changed into something lighter. I hadn't told anyone I was around, so I went to check Ron, just to let him know I was home and I'd brought the wine.

I knocked on his door, and I heard a girl giggling. I thought it probably was Lisa, so I just went to my room and sent Ron a message letting him know about the wine. Then I remembered Ron had told me Lisa and him had arranged to go out for dinner that day, so I wondered what had changed his mind.

Whatever the reason, I was actually looking forward to the dinner. Although I had taken a fair amount of food, I had also walked a lot more than I'd normally do. Also, I just didn't want to be alone in my room. Doing anything there had lost a lot of its appeal after I found out I was being recorded. So being with my flatmates, and whoever they had invited to share the dinner, and having some fun in the common room, sounded like a good plan, even if my enemy was in all likelyhood one of them. Strange how I didn't mind him looking at me directly, but being recorded in my room, where I had the right to expect to be on my own, felt completely different.

Since we were going to cook a dinner, I thought I'd better look for a recipe. I wasn't a very good cook, but I usually could manage to get something decent done if I followed a recipe closely. I probably was never going to surprise someone with my dishes, but I could produce tasty food by being careful, and I did know how to follow instructions.