Chapter 21

Much of Sarah's new identity centered around her time at Julie's and at Lindsey's. After her amazing first week of school, the reality of having to move back home threatened to erode her hard-won new self-confidence.

Once again, she was not sent off alone, though. The Gang, ex Julie, along with Rebecca, was at Julie's Saturday morning for breakfast and a major pep talk. They all stressed that as nice as her 'victories' at school seemed, her return home had a much more lasting impact on her life, her dad's life, and her mother's life.

"Sarah," Rebecca said seriously, "your mother has made progress, but she seems to have hit a plateau. We have several ideas about how to get things moving again, but you can provide the biggest push.

"The hardest part will be to keep thinking 'healing' instead of 'revenge'. Revenge might feel very good to you for a while, but it will definitely hurt your dad. It could ruin the chance to put your family back together.

"I think the best advice I can give you is to think of your mother as an ill child. You are the adult who knows how to make her better. The illness is truly not of her own making, either. Do you understand what I am trying to convey?"

"I think so, Rebecca. The last thing I want to do is hurt Daddy. That will be my best incentive. It will be really hard to, uh, invert roles with Mom. Do you think she will fight that?"

"Not if you are clever enough about it. Quite honestly, except for childbirth, and despite your virginity, you are more experienced in sexual matters than your mother is. You at least understand the essential rightness of sex in a woman's life and the major role it plays. She is not there yet. We believe that you can bring those ideas home to her in a way that no one else can."

"Wow! Honestly, I want to do things right. I want us to be as normal a family as possible. I guess ... I guess I'm just really worried about it, though."

"If you weren't worried, we all would be," Phyllis chimed in.

Arlene's response at Sarah's arrival home actually helped Sarah a great deal. Arlene was almost completely tongue-tied, she blushed ferociously, and she did her best to hide herself from Sarah for the rest of Saturday. Sarah did not have to pretend that she was now in the superior position - there was no doubt about it.

Given the strength of Arlene's reaction, Julie suggested that Sarah start her 'campaign' Sunday afternoon while Julie 'took a nap'. As soon as Arlene was alone, Sarah walked naked into the family room where her mother was watching TV.

"SARAH! WHAAAAT? Your father is home! Go get some clothes on!"

"Oh, Mom, stop worrying. Daddy's busy in his study for a while."

"But ... but he could come and see you, and..."

" ... and the world would end, right? Come on, Mom. You know better than that by now. Actually, it would make me feel good to have Daddy see me. I know how much he loves me. I'd like him to see that I'm finally starting to grow up." This had all been scripted by the Gang in typical fashion.

"Don't I look like I'm developing a little more? "I'll probably never have boobs or hips like yours, darn it. I'm happy with my body, though. I used to be ashamed because I looked like a little girl, but not any more." Sarah went on babbling body talk for a few more minutes while Arlene just sat and gaped, her gaze alternating between Sarah and the hallway from which Dan might enter the room. She had no way of knowing that he was perfectly aware of what was going on.

Finally turning serious, Sarah said "Mom, I undressed for a reason. I really need to talk to you, and I thought this would make us kind of equal." Not waiting for any response, she hurried on. "First of all, I feel terrible about the way I laid into you that day you were supposed to go on vacation. I had no right to do that, but things just got too much for me. Some time when you are willing to listen, I'll tell you the things that were bothering me.

"Anyway, since that day I have found out that your marriage problems are not really your fault. And we probably can't blame Grandma Naomi, either. There were just some messed up ideas and beliefs that were passed down from mother to daughter for who knows how many generations." Sarah had rehearsed this presentation over and over.

"I'm just so thankful that I was able to break out of the pattern while I could still be a normal teenager for at least one year. You know, you're getting a chance to recover from what Grandma Naomi did, too, Mom."

Arlene had not said a word since her initial protests. Actually, Sarah had made sure that she could not get a word in. Now, Arlene wanted to counter some of the things her daughter had said, but there were two problems. First, she was so distraught by the possibility of of Dan walking in and seeing Sarah naked that she could not concentrate very well. On top of that, part of her had to admit that what Sarah was saying was true.

One of the possible scenarios the Gang had talked about was that Arlene would be unable to respond. It had been decided that Sarah should not say anything more about the relationship on the first encounter.

"So, Mom, you must be using the tanning booth at Phyllis's club, huh?"

"You ... you know Phyllis?"

"Oh, she was at Grandma Julie's a bunch of times while I was there. She's a cool lady. Anyway, the all over tan looks good on you. A little color in your skin goes well with your hair and your eyes. You know, I worked out like a maniac at Grandma Julie's that last couple months of summer. It hurt for a few days, but I liked the way it made me look and feel. Do you like what it does to you?"

It would still be difficult for Arlene to admit anything positive about what was happening to her, even though she acknowledged it to herself. Sarah was ready for some kind of negative response. "I feel guilty spending so much time on something so ... so, uh, narcissistic," was Arlene's complaint.

"Mom, how can you say that!? It is not wasted time. It's not narcissistic. I've always been proud that my mom looks good, not like your sister and her husband. When you get to be sixty, wouldn't you want to look like Grandma Julie rather than Grandma Naomi? Is it wrong to want to look like a fit, healthy person for your whole life?

"Look at Dad. He's been working out a lot lately, you know. I'll bet you can't keep your hands off of him. He looks so muscular, so confident, so sexy!"

"Sarah! You can't talk about your father that way!"

"Of course I can, Mom. Daddy is a stud! Do you have any idea how many women would stand in line for a chance to fuck him?"

"SARAH!" Arlene shrieked. The Gang had argued quite a while about letting Sarah use that thread.

"Oh, cut it out, Mom. I've seen your nipples pop several times when you've looked at him. I'll bet one of these times I'll be able to smell you.

"He is such a stud, I really would like to have him see me like this. I feel proud to belong to a strong, virile man like Daddy. Oh, I know I will have to find my own man later, but let me tell you; it will have to be someone as good as Daddy."

Arlene dropped her head and made a gurgling moan at those words. Unscripted, Sarah scooted across the room to kneel in front of her mother. She felt a wave of sympathy for her. She got her hand under Arlene's chin and raised her face so they were eye to eye.

"Mom, these are the kinds of things normal women talk about. Sex is a huge part of a woman's life. It's what we are built for. Mothers and daughters should be able to talk and laugh and joke about sexy things. I'd love to do that with you." Sarah wished that she honestly felt that desire for closeness with her mother. For her daddy's sake, she could fake it.

Arlene did not drop her gaze. Her lip was quivering as she asked "Is that really normal? Is that what mothers and daughters do? I never had that. I thought talking about sex at all was wrong."

"I'll bet Grandma Julie has talked about sex hasn't she, Mom? Did that seem sinful, dirty?" That was a risky question, given Arlene's long-standing opinion of Julie's lifestyle.

"It's all just ... woman stuff, I guess," Arlene admitted.

She had to force herself, but Sarah got up and sat next to her mother, taking her hand. "Mom, you aren't going to tell me you haven't noticed Daddy's hardons when he looks at you. You see them, don't you?"

Sarah could see her mother about to object loudly again, but instead, she just moved her mouth soundlessly and let her shoulders sag. "I'm not trying to beat on you, Mom, but all of those things you tried to keep from me, I have learned about. Is he hard sometimes when he undresses in the bedroom when you're there? God, would I love to see that! Hey, could I hide in the closet some night?" Now, she was ad-libbing well beyond any script.

Too stunned to say anything for a while, Arlene had to divert the discussion. At least she said something she was honestly thinking about. "Do other women really think he is, uh... ?"

"Sexy? Damn right they do," Sarah said emphatically. She was pushing the language, something Arlene had always come down hard on. That she got no scolding was an important signal.

The group, the Gang and Rebecca, had decided it was time to try to get Arlene to see Dan in a more sexual way. Sarah was chosen as the main instigator. The fact that she did not have to pretend to drool over her daddy was considered a real plus.

The Gang had always been frustrated because Rebecca refused to get directly involved with Arlene. It was because of her earlier time with Dan. Phyllis was the one who began selling a new idea.

"I've started Arlene in the aerobics class. So far, she has not made any social connections at the club. Rebecca, we will pay for your time to join the class and befriend her."

That completely astonished Rebecca. Before she could object, Phyllis went on. "You, along with Julie and Sarah, are the key to saving Dan's marriage. We want you to forget conflict of interest and all the other stuff. Get close to her. She never needs to know about our relationship."

Any possible objections were drowned by the enthusiastic endorsement of the rest of the Gang. "OK, but I'm not going to hide what I do. If that scares her away, so be it."

"What if she asks for counseling?" Claire brought up.

"Oh." Rebecca looked at all of the Gang and knew what she had to answer. With a little laugh, she gave in. "Whatever it takes, right? Since we have already slaughtered a bunch of ethical principles..."

Following her own principle of gradualism, Rebecca found positions in the class that were in the same area as Arlene, but all around her and not right next to her. That went on for a few days before she stood right next to Arlene. She only made a few general comments that first day, then chose a different spot the next day.

Sean was not the least bit embarrassed to be driven to the dance in Sarah's convertible. His dance was first, and that was probably good for her. She would be more relaxed if her own fall dance was not her first.

Claire had helped them practice together, and of course, she had them looking casually spectacular. Sean had told Sarah about Tracey, and Sarah had taken the lead to introduce herself. When Tracey found out that Sarah was a senior, she was both surprised and relieved. It made the 'competition' seem less threatening. Sarah's revelation that she had a date for a college dance was even better news, as far as Tracey was concerned.

Not very many high school couples can dance well, and Sean and Sarah were far better than most. They attracted a lot of attention, which Sarah drank in. All of her confidence building, as terrifying as it was at the time, was paying off. She could not remember enjoying herself as much.

Two of the boys who lived at Lindsey's and went to Sean's school were at the dance, and Sarah insisted on dancing with them. Sean took the opportunity to ask Tracey.

Things were even better for Sarah at her own dance. Her new persona had already created quite a stir among those who knew her and many who were just realizing that she existed. When she showed up with arguably the best looking guy at the dance, and when they out-danced all of the other couples, she really felt like Cinderella. Sean got several breaks when she danced with the guys from Lindsey's, but Sarah seemed unwilling to miss a minute on the floor.

There was just one negative note at Sarah's dance. An obvious jock approached them and asked to break in. Claire had briefed them on dance floor etiquette. Since they had done many numbers together and Sarah had no real reason to reject the guy, Sean nodded and handed her over. When the guy asked for the next number, Sarah's face showed reluctance, but neither she nor Sean objected.

When the second number, the first full one, ended was when the tension set in. The guy apparently wanted to 'take over' Sarah for the evening, and tried to keep her for the next song.

"No thank you," she said as politely as she could. "Sean is my date and I want to dance with him."

"What do you mean? You can't say 'no' to me!" the guy said indignantly.

"Please. I was polite and gave you two dances. Now, you be polite and find someone else." No one hearing her would have believed it was the same Sarah from the previous year.

Acting instinctively, Sean moved toward the couple when he noticed the tension. Almost as if they had rehearsed it, Sarah moved away from the guy and into Sean's arms just as he arrived and the next song started. As she turned away, the guy grabbed her arm. When she shook his hand off, though, he did not persist. He looked like he might push the issue, but Sean cheekily swung around so his back was to him and within a few moments, the other guy was gone.

"Who is he?" Sean asked between the next two numbers.

"I don't know. I'll ask someone." Sarah needed a trip to the ladies' room, and when she returned, she informed Sean "That's Grant Jacobs. He's a running back and a wrestler. The girl I asked couldn't believe I didn't know who he was and told him 'no'."

"So, my date is now on the 'most desirable list' at school, huh?" he teased.

"If I have to deal with guys like that, I don't think I want to be on that list. He kept trying to pull me closer."

Sean could not help wondering what weight class Jacobs competed in.

At the start of her second week in the aerobics class, Rebecca walked from the room beside Arlene as they both wiped off with towels. "I'll bet you've done quite a bit of dancing. You move well," Rebecca said, not having to lie.

"I have never danced much before at all," Arlene answered.

"Really? Are you enjoying this?"

"I guess if you are going to work out, this is a good way." Rebecca expected nothing more positive from Arlene.

"In my profession, people expect me to look trim and healthy. Working out is almost like part of my job." The next question was predictable and Rebecca wanted to get it out right up front to save everyone time and money.

"What do you do?"

"I'm a counsellor. I work mostly on family and marriage issues." Rebecca saw Arlene stiffen a little and quickly added "That's what I do on the job. Here, I'm just another working mom trying to squeeze in some time of my own without shorting my two girls."

"Oh. How old are they?" Trying not to let her relief show, Rebecca guided them in some typical mother chat. In the locker room, she made it a point to undress right beside Arlene, being much more casual than she might ordinarily. Seeing Arlene hold back a bit, she left her alone. Gradualism.

The next day, Rebecca did not stand by Arlene, but afterward caught her and said "Yesterday, I failed to ask if you had children." That opened another brief conversation.

It took four more days of some interaction before Arlene initiated an exchange with Rebecca. She considered that move essential. They quickly moved to having a cold drink together before showering. When Rebecca revealed that she was going through divorce, that seemed to make her even 'safer' in Arlene's eyes.

Picking the time carefully, Rebecca began lamenting her lack of sex since the breakup. She did not dwell on it, but mentioned it regularly.

"Say, you haven't said anything about your husband, Arlene. I hope you have a good, solid marriage where you can get good loving every night." The expressions of pain and guilt crossing Arlene's face were unmistakable.

Rebecca began talking wistfully over the next several days about the kind of man she hoped to find for her next and final husband. Not surprisingly, she described Dan in some detail, at least many of his characteristics.

When she said "I want a man my daughters can fall completely in love with. If they can feel like they belong to a strong, virile man when they are still living with us, I think they will choose wisely when they pick a husband." That keyed on the comments Sarah had continued to make about her feelings toward Dan.

Rebecca had scrupulously avoided asking Arlene's name. She was hoping to maintain arguable innocence if her relationship with Dan should later become known.

The group had decided that Sarah should continue to strip before conversations with her mother. The fact that it got Arlene so on edge was considered a positive. While trying to understand the girl's lack of concern about being seen by Dan, Arlene would likely pay closer attention to her words and her thoughts. Dan conveniently left the house sometimes. More often, Sarah would come right home from school, strip, and sit down with her mother. She only did that about twice a week - gradualism.

It took until the eighth encounter before Arlene blurted out to Sarah "How can you just be naked so easily? You certainly weren't brought up that way."

As had many, many possible conversational turns, this had been discussed with the group and Sarah followed the script. "No, Mom, I was brought up very much like you were, wasn't I? Would you want me to live through what you have had to?"

It had been said gently, but it struck Arlene like a knife to the heart. Similar things had been said a number of times before, but this was the first time the words really got through. Her face lost all color and she collapsed back against the couch she was sitting on.

This was a tricky time. The group had decided that Arlene should be told how Julie triggered the current crisis and all of the changes. Sarah judged that the time was right. She spent a few minutes telling about Julie's concern for her, how Dan had to be convinced, how hard Dan had worked to turn Sarah's life around, and how that had all led to Arlene's current dilemma.

Somehow, as Sarah was talking, Arlene finally noticed the remnants of her daughter's all-over tan. She asked Sarah how she had acquired it, almost afraid of the answer. "The same way you're getting yours, Mom, only I used the sun instead of a tanning bed."

"But ... but outside? Where someone could see you?"

"Mom, Julie had this privacy fence put all around her pool this summer. In fact, I helped Sean build the fence while I was staying there."

The name 'Sean' set off alarm bells for Arlene, but she just could not deal with the issue of Sarah and boyfriends right then. She knew that Sarah had been on dates, but had managed to ignore that fact. It could wait a while longer. In a move that almost had Sarah dashing for the phone to spread the good news, Arlene said "The tan looks very good on you." Gradualism.

Gradualism was working on Sarah, too. After every session, she saw her mother as a more sympathetic person. Realizing that Naomi had put Arlene through just what Arlene had done to her, Sarah found her remaining anger dissipating. She had been honest with Dan in that she could not see why he wanted to stay married to her mother. Day by day, though, she was discovering the personality traits that attracted and held her father. The improvement of her mother's body into that of a sexy mature woman made her hope fervently that her dad could soon enjoy that body fully.

Between Julie, Sarah, and Rebecca, Arlene was bombarded with body talk and open discussion of sexual subjects. Added to that was Dan's carefully accelerated increase in affectionate touching and explicit compliments about her body. It took three weeks before Dan put his hand on Arlene's bare ass while massaging her in the presence of Julie and Sarah. Arlene's reaction was not as positive as the group would have liked, but there was at least a slight blush of pleasure and arousal. That justified escalation.

Since it had been decided that Julie should stay naked, contact between her and Dan had to be limited. Even the first quick hugs were a jolt to Arlene, but they kept it up and gradualism again proved itself.

As far as cuddling, there were two 'rules'. First, Dan should try to accelerate it as much as possible. Second, he should never cuddle Sarah in a way that he had not done with Arlene, even though Sarah was clothed. Of course, it went without saying that there was no cuddling with his naked mother.

While watching TV or a movie was the perfect place for cuddling, except for in bed. Any kind of prolonged close contact outside the bedroom was a very tough sell with Arlene. Julie and Sarah had to leave the couple alone before she would finally stay under his arm for an extended period. When Julie and Sarah joined them after a few times alone, Dan had to be forceful in keeping Arlene in place.

There was constant discussion among the group as to when Dan's next step should be taken. After several weeks, Arlene was finally showing signs of positive response to Dan's touches and caresses in the presence of Julie and Sarah, rather than recoiling and being embarrassed.

Once, when Dan was meeting with the whole group, Rebecca asked him "How much are you having to fake the touches and caresses?"

That caught Dan by surprise. "You know, I started out doing it intentionally as part of the plan. I just realized that now, I'm having to hold back so I don't rush things. This is all like a Christmas present." Julie couldn't help it. She burst into happy tears on hearing that.

"That's great, Dan," Rebecca assured him. "If it all didn't become natural, even moving on to intercourse wouldn't really save your marriage. According to the 'nip readings', she is even starting to anticipate the contact when you are in situations where it is common. I think we can safely say that Arlene is at least as responsive to touch as a normal woman.

"I believe this marks a change in strategy," Rebecca declared. "At this point, it seems that removing control from Arlene has gone as far as we want to push it. It is now time to focus on arousal. We need to find as many ways to stimulate her arousal response as we can. The theory is that eventually, all of the sexual stimulation will overcome her psychological aversion to intercourse. Dan, we want you to push as far into foreplay as possible - GRADUALLY, of course. Since it is apparent that Julie's and Sarah's presence amplifies Arlene's arousal response, we want you to push the limits of what is done outside the bedroom."

"Push the limits how far?" Dan asked in surprise.

"Until Julie signals you that Arlene is about to resist," was Rebecca's answer. "Phyllis, what is your decision on the spy cams?"

Phyllis let out a big sigh. "I don't like it at all, as you well know, but I have convinced myself that the end justifies the means. I installed two myself, just so it is completely secret. I don't want them in there for very long, either. I am very, very concerned about whether Arlene can keep this secret."

Julie answered that. "Her strong sense of privacy would prevent her from revealing anything, I'm sure."

"But how will she react when she encounters the men out on the floor?" Phyllis challenged.

"If you detect that to be a problem, change her to another club," Rebecca ordered. "Of course, I will lose contact with her, then, but I think I have accomplished what we hoped for."

"All right," Phyllis conceded. "Julie, you need to have her come to the club when more men are present for a few days."

Arlene was totally puzzled when Phyllis practically dragged her to the little office just off of the women's locker room. She had just finished showering, but was still naked.

"Arlene, if you ever tell anyone what I am about to show you, you could put me out of business and possibly in jail. I am only doing this because of my friendship with Julie. Sit over here and watch this screen."

For the next fifteen minutes or so, Arlene watched transfixed as a parade of men showered in front of her eyes. Periodically, Phyllis would switch the view to the whirlpool room when she knew someone was entering or leaving. When Arlene's breathing seemed to have settled down, Phyllis told her to get dressed and go home.

The next two days were repeats. Phyllis said almost nothing, just let Arlene watch. However, she watched Arlene very carefully on the floor of the club. Fortunately, Arlene had never reacted much to the various men when she encountered them. Since she was at a different time than her usual daytime visits, they were not men that she saw regularly, so they did not notice anything strange about her reactions. Her reactions were actually very normal, to Phyllis's great relief.

On the fourth day, after Arlene had watched for a while, Phyllis asked her "How does Dan's penis compare to the ones you see there? Is he as big as that one?" and she pointed to a well-built young man.

"PHYLLIS!"

"Oh, come on, Arlene. Us gals are all experts on penises and cocks. They're a huge part of our lives. I'm guessing that Dan is pretty well hung, right? Julie says that when he was in college, he was not unusually large, though."

"Julie ... how ... she shouldn't..."

"Arlene, Arlene. Things happen in families. Sometimes people see things they are not intended to see. Big deal. Now, I've seen enough to know that Dan is as muscular as most of the guys here. Not too many his age have a six-pack like that guy," and she pointed to an obvious body-builder, "but Dan's belly is very nice and tight. He's got a great ass, too."

As intended, Arlene was nonplussed by the frank talk about her husband's body. "Do ... do women really talk about this stuff all the time?"

"Well, sure. Don't you think about it all the time?" That was a challenge Phyllis had been waiting to deliver. She did not expect an answer and she did not get one. She did get a very thoughtful look on Arlene's face.

In fact, Arlene had been experiencing inner turmoil for a few weeks. She was in fact thinking about sexual things a lot, and she felt guilty about that. Her upbringing placed sexual thoughts in the sin category. The problem was that with her body exposed, with Dan's constant stimulation of her, and with the frankness with which Julie, Phyllis, Rebecca, and now Sarah talked about sex, she was bombarded with the subject.

There was only one more night of the 'peep show' for Arlene before Phyllis, with great relief, removed the cameras. Arlene was put back on her normal daytime workout schedule. Rebecca only said that the she had missed seeing Arlene that week, but did not ask where she had been.

It was time for a very big move, one that would probably jolt Arlene to her core. The next time Sarah stripped after school and sat down to talk to Arlene, Sarah just laid it out. "Mom, you know that I'm still a virgin, right?"

Shocked that Sarah would even say it, Arlene was barely able to stammer out "I ... I would h ... hope so."

"Well, I am. But I have decided that I won't be when I go to college."

"SARAH!" Predictably, that started a very emotional exchange. Sarah, following the plan, remained very calm and did her best to gentle her mother until Arlene was at least able to speak intelligibly.

Finally, Sarah was able to explain. "Sex is everywhere in our culture, Mom, even in high school. Well, maybe especially in high school. As you know, I have just recently begun to catch up with girls my age in my sexual knowledge. When I go to college, I want to have experienced it all. I don't want to be looked down on as inexperienced. I also don't want to get swept off my feet and make a big mistake. I want to be introduced to love-making by a good man on my schedule."

Arlene was barely able to ask "Who?"

"Well, I know it could never happen, but in my dreams, Daddy is my first."

"SARAH!" Arlene's vocabulary could hardly progress beyond that point.

"Oh, Mom. I would never do it with Daddy. He's yours, and I respect that. It's just that he is the most wonderful man I know. I'll bet he is a wonderful lover, too. Since I can't have Daddy do it, right now I would choose Sean for my first."

"Is he ... is he your b ... boyfriend?"

"No. I don't really have a boyfriend, and I don't really want just one boy right now. Sean is the boy who takes care of the yards for Grandma Julie and all her friends. I helped him build Grandma's privacy fence. He lives way across town and he is two years younger."