Chapter 15

Sarah had never noticed how many times she was left alone with her dad. It had just never been noteworthy before. Now, the day before her parents left on vacation, Dad would be home and Mom was at her sister's.

Not having a good idea what being in love was like, she thought she was probably in love with her daddy. The several dates had been dream-like. Even more than the dinners, the play, the concert, the ice cream, and the game, it was the way he had talked to her as an adult.

Every question she had asked, he had answered as fully as he could, many times shocking her with the frankness of what he said. If she had her way, it would never end. And of course, the unbelievable way that he had showed himself to her was something she would never forget!

When she had told him that she felt like a different girl, she meant it. In just the few weeks of his increased attention, she felt a boldness and a confidence that was completely new to her. She caught herself smiling despite the braces, something she had worked so hard to prevent.

It had suddenly occurred to her that her staying with Grandma Cashien might be part of a plan to cure her lack of sexual experience. If that was true, she was all for it. She had heard her mother and aunt clucking about how awful it was that Grandma Cashien entertained men at her house. That meant that one grandma was certainly not like that other one. Her mother and her aunt came by their sexual hangups honestly.

Sarah was quite sure that Grandma Julie had something planned for her visit. Letting her mind run, Sarah could imagine a cute neighbor boy coming over to swim in the pool. One thing would lead to another, and they would end up skinny dipping. Could she do that? Would she? When school let out, her answer would have been a terrified 'NO WAY!'. Now, she believed that she might be able to.

One thing bothered her about her little fantasy, though. Since puberty, no male had seen her naked. Daddy should be the first.

Thus it was that the night before vacation, Dan came home, entering through the door from the garage, through the laundry room, to the kitchen, as usual. That was as far as he got before freezing in his tracks at the sight before him.

Sarah was working at the kitchen counter, her back to him, naked. Dan could not know that she was not really doing anything, just posing. She had wanted to walk right up to him and greet him with a kiss as a wife would, but she just could not do it. In fact, it was all she could do to keep her knees from buckling where she stood.

Neither father nor daughter had a clue what to do next. Dan recovered first, realizing the emotion and the courage that must have driven his darling to do this. He HAD to make a move to ease her trauma.

Moving quickly across the few steps between them, he grasped her forearms, thinking that she might need to be held up. Next, he kissed first one shoulder, then the other, unable to resist looking down at the swollen nipples on her modest breasts. "What a beautiful sight to come home to," he whispered in her ear.

The shiver that ran through her was so strong that he wondered if it was a little come. Whether it was or not, his precaution of holding her forearms was proven wise. She could barely stand on her own.

As soon as he thought that she could support herself, he decided on the casual, 'everything's just normal' approach. "What can I do to help with supper?"

When she did not respond, he looked around to see that there was nothing on the counter that hinted at meal preparation. "I know," he said with exaggerated brightness, "I can call for pizza. Can I tell the delivery guy you'll greet him at the door like that?"

It worked. "DA-AD!" she shrieked, and spun to take the obligatory swat at him. Her arm was still raised to strike when she realized that she had just exposed herself completely. It was what she wanted to do but had not yet mustered the nerve to complete.

She never finished her swat. He caught the hand that was frozen in mid-strike, then took the other one as well. Spreading her hands wide, he first looked at her face with its wide eyes and quivering lip. He made a questioning expression and just waited until she gave a slight nod. Then, he slowly and openly looked her up and down.

After a careful perusal, he looked in her face again with a broad smile. "Honey, remember when you said you were a different girl after our session in your room?"

"Y ... yeah," was all she could manage.

"Well, you were wrong," he went on. "You're a different woman, not a girl any more."

He saw her start to squirm a little, rubbing her legs together in the unmistakable signal of a bladder crisis. If she had to flee to the bathroom again, it would be a bad psychological blow, so he had to think fast. "Hey, why don't I call the pizza in right now. We can't be sure how long your mother will be gone."

The release of breath on her part was unmistakable. As he pointedly turned his back to use the kitchen phone, he heard her move toward the hall. Her steps were quite sedate until she perhaps thought she was out of earshot. Then, he heard a panicky sprint to the hall bathroom.

When he finished the order, he just stood where he was, but turned toward the hall entrance. He heard the flush and the door opening and he listened very hard to see if she would retreat to her room. Instead she peered out from the hall entrance for a moment before locating him.

Wanting to make sure that her naked time was not over, he flashed her an unforced smile and told her "Thank you, Baby."

"For ... for what?"

"For not giving up and getting dressed yet." He wanted to believe that he was concerned about her not getting enough exposure to boost her confidence. That was true, but mainly, he just wanted to keep looking at her lovely young body. His comment was enough to get her to walk tentatively into the kitchen, visibly fighting to keep from reflexively covering herself with her hands.

"I wish it was true," she said out of the blue.

"Huh?"

"About me being a woman. I know I've been slow to develop. It was rough back when all the girls except me had boobs and hair. I still look like a freshman."

"You don't know how sorry I am that you have missed some of the best parts of high school. I promise you that your senior year will be different. Even if I have to be a tyrant and an asshole to your mother, you are going to have a normal senior year."

That sent her flying into his arms, giving him a big problem of where to put his hands. She didn't care, though, as she was sobbing in relief and gratitude. "Your braces come off in early October, don't they?" he asked, trying to bring some relief to her crying. "You'll be ready for French kissing then, won't you?"

"DA-AD!" She looked up at him, trying to be stern, but unable to drown the grin in tears.

There was still plenty of girl in her, as she did a quick change of subject and attitude. Backing away, she pushed both hands against her lower belly and looked down at her crotch. "I still don't have very much hair down there."

Keeping his gulp a mental one, Dan marshaled his wits enough to plan a response. Perhaps some very frank, adult conversation would be in order. "Don't worry about that, Honey. It looks very sexy when you can still see a lot of your pussy lips."

That produced a gasp from her. She had been denied that kind of body talk even with girlfriends. The few girlfriends she had tended to be from families as sexually repressed as her own. To say she was hungry for it was a massive understatement.

"S ... s ... sexy? Really?"

"Oh, yes. Very sexy. Did you know that many European women shave off all of their pubic hair. They go to a lot of nude beaches over there. Some women here shave, too."

"But ... but then everything shows!"

"That's the point. When a woman is naked, she wants a man to want to have sex with her. Us men look at pussies right away. A sexy one always gets us excited."

She looked quickly at his crotch, then looked up grinning when she noticed the definite bulge. "You have to understand the effect your body has on men, Honey, and you always have to be careful of it. You know that I would never do anything that you don't want. You also know that I love looking at you naked.

"I can guarantee you that any man who sees your body will love looking at it. The problem is that there are men that will want to have sex with you so badly that they will not stop themselves, but will force you. That's what rape is."

Those words brought a sober, thoughtful mood to Sarah. "Then, I'll just be very, very careful who I let see me," she said resolutely.

"See, you are a woman - a very intelligent woman. Too many girls never figure that out," he praised.

Apparently, she liked talking about such a personal subject. "Do you think I should trim the hair on my ... my..."

"Your pussy, Honey. That's the common word that's used."

"Should I trim it?"

"Why?"

"Well, there isn't a lot of it, but some hairs are pretty long," she complained.

"Let me ask you this: if you trimmed it, would your mother find out and get upset?"

"Oh. No, she hasn't, uh, checked me out in a long time," Sarah commented.

"OK, let's suppose a situation. You're swimming in someone's pool. You have on a bikini, and..."

"Surrrre!" she snarled.

"Just bear with me," he urged. "You have on this bikini that doesn't have much cloth in the crotch. There are some really cute guys in the pool with you and you notice that some of your long hairs are sticking out of the suit bottom. Now, what would be your reaction?"

"Oh, God, Dad! I'd just die!"

"Now wait a minute. Think about it. If you knew that when the guys saw those hairs they would think about your pussy and imagine how sexy it is, wouldn't that be a good thing? Wouldn't you maybe want to pull some more hairs so they stuck out?"

"Daddy! That would be ... that would be..." She got no farther because she broke into a fit of giggles that lasted quite a while.

"Sweetie, I've got to change quickly if we're going to eat pizza. Here's twenty in case the guy comes."

"Dad! Dad! Wait! You can't mean... ! Dad!" He had hurried out of sight, fully prepared to hurry back for the doorbell.

In fact, the doorbell rang while he was standing in just his briefs. "I'll be right there," he yelled as he scrambled into his shorts and tore from the room carrying his shirt.

He arrived at the front entry just in time to see Sarah stepping out of some shorts with the pizza box on the entry table. When she saw him, she made a mock angry look and said "Darn! I wanted you to think I bought it naked. I have these around in case Mom comes home early. Oh, well. I had you going, didn't I?"

He was smiling and laughing for all he was worth until suddenly he was sobbing his heart out. It was so bad that he had to stagger to a sofa. Forgetting her nakedness, she was instantly on his lap, hugging his face to her breast in a woman's instinctive comforting move.

"This is what it's supposed to be like," he managed to get out through his sobs. He pulled his face from her chest, but could not resist placing a small kiss in her developing valley. "Sex should be fun, happy. It should make life full, but it's ... it's ... Oh, I'm sorry, Baby. I shouldn't make this your problem."

"If I have to go back and forth between parents' homes, it IS my problem, Daddy. "I'm so sorry you're hurting. Sometimes I think I should ... I should..."

"Don't go there, Sweetie. We can't let those feelings get away from us."

"Yeah." She agreed verbally, but let herself collapse against his bare chest. He had not had time to get his shirt on in the hurry. "Let's just enjoy this, Daddy. I know it's not right, but I think we both need it."

By that time, he was taking deep breaths, trying to regain his composure.

Sarah screwed up her courage as best she could and walked into the master suite where Arlene was doing some last minute packing of cosmetics. This was something that Sarah was not good at. Only rarely had she stood up to her mother, and this would be a major in-your-face confrontation.

Her dad would not be happy if he knew what she was doing. In fact, it might even interfere with his 'campaign'. She sensed that, but she felt compelled to try to get through to her mother. In her mind, her dad had never managed to get through. Perhaps she should consider him weak because of that, but he had probably endured for her sake.

Her biggest problem was how to start the conversation. "Mom, are you going to use this vacation to make sure you and Dad stay married?" was what she came up with.

Arlene's head snapped up and her suddenly pale face just stared at her daughter. She absolutely could not believe what she had heard. "Wha ... what did you say?"

"You heard what I said, Mom. Are you going to make sure?"

"How can you ... how dare you say something like that? You have no right to make comments about our marriage! It's not your business!"

"If I have to split time between divorced parents, it is definitely my business," she snapped more harshly than she intended.

"Diovrce! Divorce? Why would you even mention that word?" Arlene screamed.

"Come on, Mom. Everyone knows Dad has just been holding on to your sexless marriage until I'm out of the house. I think he's run out of patience."

"Sarah! How can you say these horrible things. What has your dad been telling you?"

"He wouldn't say anything private. You know that. You can't hide a problem like yours. It's common knowledge with people that know you." That was a vicious blow, and not really true. Sarah believed that she was fighting for her family, though.

Arlene went into a tearful diatribe about how a daughter that she had given so much for and worked so hard to give a good life could stab her in the back. It was more melodramatic than anything Sarah had heard before, but she was strangely calm. Daddy was right. She was a different woman, now.

When Arlene's tirade abated, Sarah dove in. "Don't you see, Mom. Dad's been on a campaign to try to get you to be the wife he can spend the rest of his life with. The last several weeks, he has done so many loving, romantic things. I'll bet the vacation will be just full of them, too. But you're not going to change, are you? You're still going to abuse him by denying him sex. He doesn't want you to just give him sex, either. He wants you to want it with him. I guess that will never happen."

"Sarah! Where did you even hear about such things? How can you even talk about them. I didn't raise you to talk like that!"

"You tried to keep me from anything to do with sex, but I'll be a high school senior, Mom. This isn't the middle ages any more. I see things. I hear things. I understand things. I have a pretty good idea of what your marriage is like.

"It sounds like you plan to just let Dad pamper you on vacation, then send him to the bathroom to jerk off like usual." That produced an agonized shriek from Arlene.

"You might as well just skip the vacation and start seeing a shrink." With that, Sarah turned and left the master suite. There was so much more she wanted to say, but she had run out of courage. It hurt her to see her mother's anguish. She did not want to feel her anger.

As soon as Dan returned, he was taking Sarah to Julie's so the couple could catch an early flight. Sarah took her bags with her and walked two houses down the street. Her dad would see her there when he came by.

When he saw Sarah waiting on the curb with her bags, Dan knew that it could not be good. At first, she would not look at him when she got into the car. Then, she faced him with tears flowing and said "Daddy, I'm so sorry! I messed it all up. I just couldn't keep quiet any longer."

He let out a long breath, then forced himself to take several deep ones. When he thought it was safe to speak, he was very gentle. "I guess you did what I didn't have the courage to do all these years."

"Dad, I know you were thinking of me. You knew what it would be like if Mom had me all to herself."

"Sad to say, it wasn't a lot better with me around," he bemoaned.

"Well, you're changing that now." she tried to placate him.

They drove in silence to Julie's house. When he stopped, he told her "I want to say goodbye to my mom, but I had better hurry home and clean up the debris. Sarah, I don't want you feeling guilty about anything. You are your own person and you are entitled to express your opinions.

"Tell Grandma everything that has gone on between us, Honey." At her gasp, he said "I really mean everything. I love you so much, Sarah. I have no idea what is about to happen, but I will never abandon you again."

Dan had no idea what to expect back at the house, but he felt strangely calm. It struck him that his weeks with his mother's friends had definitely made a difference in him.

Perhaps Arlene would pretend that Sarah's attack had never happened. That might be the toughest response to deal with. Would he go along and pretend he did not know about it, either? If Arlene went that route, would it mean that she was going to make an honest try at changing?

Maybe she would be furious. That would mean that the vacation was off and it was time to see a lawyer.

If she was weepy and distraught, that would not be easy, at all. He did not like hurting her. That also would mean that the vacation was off. Canceling would waste a good deal of money, but there was no point in going if she would feel like she was on trial the entire time.

Weepy it was. She was curled up on the bed, whimpering. He sat on the side that she was facing, not trying to touch her. "I understand Sarah was pretty rough on you," he said softly.

"Was ... was this ... hic ... really your l ... last try to save our m ... m ... m ... hic ... marriage?"

"I'm afraid it was," he admitted.

"But you t ... t ... told me you w ... weren't ... hic ... going to try to have intercourse any m ... more. I th ... thought we w ... were f ... f ... finally hic ... p ... past the sex p ... problem."

"That's not what I said, Arlene. I said I was not going to try to have intercourse any more until you truly wanted it with me. You chose to ignore the important part."

"But I could never want it! You knew that!" she cried.

"There is no reason you should not want it, Arlene. You are a normal, healthy woman. I hoped that I could change your mind."

"So the vacation was just a chance to try ... to try to se ... se ... seduce me?"

"A husband should not have to seduce his own wife, but yes, that was what I hoped to do. I couldn't just walk away without one last try."

"Walk away! Walk away? You mean you would really divorce me? I thought you loved me!"

"I do love you, Arlene. I honestly do. That's what makes this so terrible for all of us. Because I love you, I have done without an important part of life for nineteen years. I just cannot spend the rest of my life without a normal sex life."

He had to wait out a violent sobbing session after that. "Oh, God, Dan! I just can't believe it has come to this. Nineteen years! Why did you let it go so long? It would have been better to end it early."

"Yes, it would, Arlene, but there were reasons. First, I loved you and I did not want to be without you. I couldn't believe that we could not get past the problem. By the time I realized that it was hopeless, we had Sarah. I was afraid to abandon her to you."

"Afraid of me? Why on earth?"

"Because of what you have been trying to do to her, Arlene. You have been trying to do what your mother did to you. You have been trying to make her hate sex."