Scene 5

The Clann: Kathleen Meets the Gang

The first draft of the meeting in The Clann Chapter 3; rather crude but different from the final:

BOB

We could see her [Ana] coming into the living room from the hallway, so Kathleen took her first pratfall.

She took one step inside, managed to tangle her cane in her legs and sprawled flat on her face while hiking her short skirt up above her waist!

I hustled over to her, while Evin stepped up beside Ana. "I apologize, Mrs. Matthews. I know Bob told you she was a bit of an airhead, but I'm afraid she's not very well coordinated. By the way, I'm her uncle, Evin Donovan." All the time he was holding up, Embarrassment. "Oh shit! The Klutz!"

Several of the guys arrived at the door, just as Kathleen got to her hands and knees, then managed to get her feet under her and pushed her butt into the air so her knees were straight while her hands were still on the floor.

The guys were "treated" to a view of a fairly decent female butt covered somewhat by Pooh Bear panties of the god-awfulest shade of orange you could imagine. Lettered right across the back of her panties was, "Pooh Bear's Private Entrance."

I managed to get her to her feet, but she slipped and half-turned around with her knees spread. They were then able to inspect the font side of the orange wonders which read, "Pooh Bear's Honey Pot," with an arrow pointing down between her legs.

"It's okay, guys, just a little accident. I'll explain later. Kathleen here is a bit ... challenged in some areas, so 'bear' with us."

All this time, Kathleen was displaying, "Fuck! I squashed my tits again. That hurts!"

I managed to carry/drag/wrestle her to a chair just outside the dining room where everyone had to go right by her.

She sprawled back and her knees kept flopping open and shut, displaying the Pooh Bear's Honey Pot. As each guy tried to slip by, she leered at his crotch, and put up, "Yummy!" Each girl got an avid stare at her chest with a "Wow, nice tits!"

She also managed to keep one eye straight while the other one wondered around a little bit. She was a shining example of a dim bulb.

Mother and Father were the last ones in to door, right at 7:00. Our trap was sprung.

Part 3 complete!

Father got a special dose of the wandering eye, panting and an image of Kathleen rubbing the back of her head all over his body. Kinky, but imaginative.

I warned Mother and Father on a very tight line, "Please don't say anything; just follow along."

By now, all the Inner Circle were around the table at their usual places. The parents were crowded in behind them. Each one of them kept a wary eye on Kathleen, just in case she went rabid on them. Kathleen was putting up a blank, almost a nobody home.

"Folks, I'd like you to meet a very distant cousin of mine, Kathleen Donovan. This is her uncle, Evin Donovan. Kathleen, these are my special friends."

I told them, "Sorry, she's definitely an airhead with an IQ maybe of 80 ... and she's the biggest klutz I've ever seen. Evin isn't 'one of us, ' but he's totally okay."

Evin was putting out, "Damn I hope she behaves." Embarrassment.

Kathleen looked them over with her wandering eye, gave everyone a good shot at her underwear, let some drool slip out of the corner of her mouth, and asked me, "Is this the harem you told me about, Cousin Bob? Do you fuck the guys, too?"

Dead silence prevailed while Evin groaned loudly and put up, "Why did she have to be the one to live through the accident?" They were both perfect.

"No, Kathleen, these ladies aren't my harem and I don't fuck the guys."

"Well, okay then. Maybe that big one -- " pointing her cane at Steve, " -- would fuck me. I haven't been screwed in over three months!"

Evin almost screamed and started pulling his hair. "I'll strangle her! It will be justifiable! Open and shut acquittal!"

"Honey, if you ask him privately, he might be nice enough to help you."

Lucia glared at Steve while he got the deer-in-the-headlights look.

Kathleen looked around once then flopped back in the chair and started sliding off the seat. Actually, Sunshine just popped out of the body and let it go limp. Kathleen's skirt, of course, rode up again and everyone got a pretty good shot of the Pooh Bear's Honey Pot again. She'd unashamedly left her hair untrimmed and it was sticking out all over. Even I thought it was gross.

Evin and I pulled her back up into the seat, while he was putting up, "I should have dumped her in the river. It would have been an accident. NO ONE would have missed her. Shit!"

I told the folks, "She was in an accident six weeks ago, that's why she has the cane."

Everything quieted down for about ten minutes. I told them, "I'll talk with you all about 7:30. I really didn't realize Kathleen would be so much trouble."

They continued to study, but everyone kept some attention on her just in case she started puking pea soup and spinning her head around.

Evin and I drifted off into the living room just to the edge of the light. Suddenly Kathleen "woke up" and all her arms and legs just jerked like she'd had a convulsion.

Every eye watched her warily. She staggered to her feet with her cane, lurched into the dining room and accosted Ana. Staring right at Ana's chest, she asked her, "Is Cousin Bob fucking you?"

Ana couldn't have turned any whiter. Jesus Shit! "Uh, no, Kathleen, he isn't," she managed to choke out.

Kathleen looked her over once. "He should. You're yummy."

She turned around, almost falling down, took a few steps and turned around again. "Somehow" everyone was now in front of her. I stepped into the light.

Kathleen's face crumpled up and she put up Sad. Rejected. Hurt. Miserable. She told them all, "Bob wouldn't fuck me! He turned me down! He said I didn't have enough hair on my Honey Pot!"

Every eye turned on me and glared. I did my best, Who, Me?

Kathleen said loudly, "Do you think I have enough hair?" She pulled her skirt up and held it with her chin and yanked down those orange panties down halfway to her knees.

Everyone got a too-good view of the Down Under jungle. She'd managed to tangle it up even worse than when Sherry and I had seen it and it was ratty and uneven. Everyone shuddered, but assured her, "That's just right! Perfect! Wonderful!"

Next part of the trap was sprung!

Kathleen used the end of her cane to push her panties the rest of the way down her legs, stepped out of them, fished them up and tucked them in the waistband in the back of her skirt. She dropped the hem of her skirt down into place.

Everyone was painfully aware that underneath that skirt was a jungle harboring unknown monsters.

Evin was screaming, "Ahh! I'll suicide! I'll take her with me! They'll make me a saint for saving the world from her! I've thrown those god-damned panties away five times and she's even crawled through the dumpster to get them back! Arghhh!"

Kathleen didn't let up. She hobbled over to the table across from Janet and stared at her chest. For once, Janet's nipples weren't poking out -- they were probably afraid of the creatures from Down Under.