I work in Lower Manhattan’s financial district, and every day I take the 4 or 5 express train to and from work, from 125th Street to Brooklyn Bridge-City Hall station. After work, both trains are often delayed, so when I’m feeling impatient, I sometimes take the 6 line instead. However, it’s always overcrowded and takes longer because of the additional stops.

Although I hold a clerical position, wearing a dress or skirt is my default attire, as it aligns with the professional standards and culture of my workplace. To stay comfortable during my commute, I keep a clean pair of tennis shoes that I change into before and after work. I also have a stylish backpack that’s more like a purse, but it’s technically considered a backpack since I wear it across my back or on one shoulder. I like to keep one ear pod in my left year during my commute to make the ride more bearable, if not enjoyable. Over the years, I’ve accumulated an extensive assortment of playlists to match my mood, depending on the kind of day I’ve had.

One Tuesday, for whatever reason, I ended up taking the 5:15 PM 6 train home after work. It was especially crowded, standing room only, so I made my way deep into the car and found a spot to hold onto the pole with my right hand as the train started moving. My mind drifted into autopilot as I got lost in my music, tuning out my surroundings. Several minutes passed, the train stopped at Canal Street and continued on. As I continued enjoying my music, I felt a body press up against my left side next to me when the train gave a sudden jerk. I dismissed it as normal and completely ignored the person’s presence. I kept in my own world.

A few moments later, another typical jolt came, and I felt the same person push up against me again but with a more deliberate thrust. It got my attention this time, but I was very discreet not to make it obvious. I glanced at him peripherally, he was a masculine-looking man, possibly in his forties or early fifties. He seemed to be quite muscular from what I could tell, wearing like he could be a high-powered executive, a sleek suit with a satchel hung over his shoulder. Although I didn’t look him directly in the eyes, he gave a confident, arrogant smile, which I didn’t acknowledge. I kept to myself, returning to my own world.

Moments later, another jolt, less invasive this time, it came with a burst of speed from the train. He subtly pressed into me again, this time remained, holding himself against me. I was taken back for a moment and didn’t know how to respond, should I edge away or remain where I am? I found myself somewhat attracted to him and flattered, yet at the same time, I wanted to feel insulted by his brazen demeanor. It wasn’t until I felt him shift slightly sideways that I became aware of the stiff firmness between his legs. My heart skipped a beat, and I inhaled unexpected in surprise. Although I remained calm and kept my composure, or so I thought, he must have picked up on my body movement or my ever-so-slight reaction. I don’t know, but my heart was pounding faster. As I tried to discreetly glance in his direction through my peripheral vision, I saw his suppressed smile.