Mayhem 3: Double Trouble, Triple Teamed
Copyright© 2009 by colt45
Chapter 1
Romantic Sex Story: Chapter 1 - Mayhem #3: Two of Mayhem's men have women problems. This isn't amazing; most men have women problems of one type or another but it is amazing how many different types of problems there are.
Caution: This Romantic Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa Fa/Fa Consensual Romantic Science Fiction Humor Harem Military
-Brian McNaught-
Post-op stand down time is kind of a mixture of feelings. There's the high of having survived another one and the crash after the sustained adrenaline rush. This one wasn't too bad either way. To begin with it didn't last long enough to really soak the body with the super-juice and at the risk of sounding cocky those fucking Brotherhood assholes were so pathetic I couldn't even get up a good scare. Hell, the scariest part about the whole thing was when Mike threatened my family jewels after we'd capped the last two dipshits. Sure I know she probably wouldn't have done it for real but with Mike you can never really be sure...
Okay, I'll admit she's been doing much better since she decided it was her job to make sure the Captain doesn't stub his toe or get taken out by some dumbass looking to settle a score or some other such shit. She's been following him around like he was the President just waiting for the chance to throw herself in front of speeding bullet or jump on top of a live grenade. At least it keeps her off the streets and out of the bars unless the Cap decides to go in one. So far he's been a good sport about it and so have his ladies. There seems to be some unvoiced agreement between the three of them; Alee and Lidia take care of his heart and Mike protects his body. Of course it's only been a few days; we'll see what happens given a little more time. God knows! Mike is enough to try the patience of a plaster saint given enough time, usually anything exceeding one minute. But so far they seem to be taking it in stride.
Speaking of the captain's girls: hot damn! Talk about falling into a shit pool and coming out smelling like it was a vat of perfume! Hey, don't get me wrong; I think the Cap deserves every nice thing he can get but right now if I could find a place to buy lottery tickets I'd be having him buy a crap load for me! Talk about being touched by the good luck fairy, she must of cum all over him!
I mean if you want to just talk about looks, and I know some of you guys never get past that part, he hit the jackpot on that alone. Sure they're as different as night and day but that's not necessarily a bad thing now is it. Alee is the short, dark-haired Thai princess, and I don't mean that negatively; she looks like a little princess doll your sister would dress up when you were kids. I know, I know, I heard the same crap from some of the sluts trying to make their move on the good ol' Cap; she's not that pretty, what does he see in her? Envious bullshit if you ask me; she's beautiful and if you don't believe me you've never seen the way she looks at the captain. Any man who sees that look of adoration, love and pure devotion and doesn't think this woman is beautiful has got stone for a heart and shit for brains.
Now Lidia is something else altogether. That is one big girl! I mean tall, blonde and built like the proverbial brick shit house. Legs about a klick long, nice wide hips and about the biggest set of tits I've ever seen outside a porn-vid. Yeah, I've heard the same shit about her face. How she just doesn't measure up to today's standard of beauty as affirmed by these two-legged man-eating harpies. Well fuck 'em. Better yet don't fuck 'em; if you want a plastic doll to masturbate with you can get better looking ones out of a catalog and at least they know when to shut-up. Lidia has that same look for the Captain that Alee does and again if that ain't beauty then let me be blind to the real thing.
Of course they're so much more than just pretty fuck toys or gaudy arm fobs although I will say when they walk into a room on his arms they kind of glow and I doubt there is a man there that sees anything else. Alee is some kind of big-brain doctor of head-shrinkage and about as sharp as they come. Of course she ain't in the same class as Weird but then who is. At least she isn't some mutant alien with an AI stuck up her butt. Mike says Weird may be a mutant but at least he's our mutant so I guess that's all right. Anyway Alee may be this fawning little doe-eyed cheesecake around the captain but she can be — well, I'll just say assertive. In fact I'm not entirely sure how or maybe why she didn't take over the whole ship before we got there. She's got a tongue that can flay the meat from your bones and those pretty little black eyes of hers can look like the pits of hell if she's not pleased with you. I don't know what the captain does to keep her under control but I'm guessing it involves whips, chains and a ball-gag. I remember the first time I saw her right after the Captain capped that first douche-bag in the bar where she worked. That dumbass head of security here on the ship must have said something she didn't like and I swear she was going to take him down even though he about doubled her mass. She definitely has a temper and can be as dangerous as Mike although not quite in the same way. Alee only make you wish you were dead whereas Mike is like a genie, rub her the wrong way and she grants that wish.
Now Lidia is a whole other story. Sure she's built like every boy's (and most men's) jerk-off fantasy but she's as sweet and nice as they come. But don't be stupid enough to think that means she's any kind of pushover or that she's going to faint if you say boo. She's big into a lot of heavy duty outdoor sports, (Yeah I know you're mostly thinking about her indoor sports but I'd advise you keep that to yourself unless you've given up on ever engaging in those indoor sports yourself; capisce?) She's big and beautiful but she ain't no powder puff.
I remember a night when we were all down in the Dungeon, that's the Xanadu's rock-and-roll bar for us old farts. The Cap'n was out on the floor with Alee and some dipshit got it into his head that the hectare or so of breast flesh Lidia was showing meant she was not only available but obviously receptive to his advances. I have to admit she tolerated him longer than most would have but that ended when he grabbed her boob. Slick as a greased pig she had his arm up behind his back in what I can tell you is a very painful hold and shoved him away. I swear she didn't break his arm or anything! That came after the asshole stumbled into Mike. Mike and I had been moving that way when we saw what was going on and he just had the misfortune of running into her. I think he slipped and broke his arm; the crushed testicles I'm not sure about, but it was dark in there. Okay, the stove in ribs might have been when I slipped and my foot accidently connected with them. Like I said it was dark and slippery; that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Just thought you ought to know; Lidia ain't in the same class with Mike when it comes to putting the hurt on you up close and personal but she ain't bad. Don't fuck with her. She won't kill you but her backup will.
In fact if you'll take a little advice from me you won't fuck with any of them. Those girls own him lock, stock and barrel and as far as we're concerned that's just the way it should be. Maybe it'll keep the old bastard out of trouble and off the streets for once. Hell, the only problem we can foresee is if they fuck him to death; it'll take weeks for the mortician to get the smile off his face.
Who am I to be pontificating about my Captain's women? Brian McNaught. More specifically Sergeant Brian McNaught, UN SpecFor, (Ret.) I'm not the biggest on our team, Stan and Sam have me beat by a tonne or so; not the smartest but then Weird is in a class or maybe species all to himself. I can shoot a standard rifle pretty well but when it comes to sniping Mike has me hands down. The crazy bitch does in hand-to-hand also. Well, so does Weird but I think he just hands over his body to his internal AI and lets his mind wander off and reflect on the origins of the universe or something like that. Watching Weird fight is like watching a fucking machine. Every move is precise, exact, measured and deadly. Mike puts her heart, soul and every gram of hate she has into her fighting. I think that's why she has that little bit of an edge over Weird; to him it's just another physics problem. Of course even I have more finesse than Stan or Sam but when one of you can bend rebar barehanded and your brother can straighten it out, how much finesse do you need?
Just good old Brian. I'm not the best on our team but if Mike needs someone to call out spots for her I'm there; you need the flank held, I'm there; you need someone to patch up the holes in your body because you were too stupid to keep your ass under cover I'm there again. I am a pretty fair medic if I do say so myself. Get hit anywhere except maybe a direct shot to the head and I have a pretty fair chance of keeping you alive at least until we can get you to an aid station. I've had a lot of practice at it.
Luckily I wasn't needed this time. When Weird and the Cap got singed by the bomber in the dining room they came out needing nothing more than a new set of eardrums which are little more than plug-and-play anymore. Well, Cap needed a little more that, what with all the shrapnel sticking in his back; but then he got a big beautiful snuggle-bunny out of it so my guess is he considered it a fair trade.
Actually we all came out pretty well on that aspect. I know it was supposed to be a big secret us taking down those tangos but I think that lasted about a millisecond. I don't think I'd finished lying to the NIS — I mean giving them my statement — when every crewmember with a double X chromosome decided she knew exactly how she was going to repay her valiant saviors. I know I almost got fucked to death for a couple of nights until I just couldn't take it any longer; I whimpered for some relief. I swear I don't know how the captain does it, and at his age! Like the old saying goes: Once a king always a king but once a night is enough! Maybe if it was just two of them but this three, four and five ... Yeah, I know it's supposed to be the major male fantasy but believe me it needs to be kept as just that: a fantasy. I mean how is one man supposed to really satisfy more than one, okay, maybe two, women a night? How can they enjoy it and if they don't enjoy it it's just, I don't know, just fucking? I must be getting old because I think it should be a little more than that.
Okay, I can just see you out there rolling your eyes and wishing you had my problems. True, life could be worse than lounging around poolside sucking down fruity little foo-foo drinks basking in the sun like a turtle on a log while gorgeous women hovered around trying to entice you with their wicked wiles. Like the captain says, it's a tough job but someone's got to do it.
So anyway I'm laying there doing my lounge lizard impersonation thinking about maybe taking a dip in the nice cool water filled to the brim with lovely female flesh, (Okay so maybe I hadn't had enough to take my mind completely off sex; I'm a slow learner — what can I say?) when — plunk! — I get whacked in the head by something! I come upright instantly and this silly fucking ball falls into my outstretched hands! You know the kind I'm talking about, a big multi-colored thing that kids play in the water with. It couldn't have weighted much more than a balloon but it had surprised me; remember I had my mind on other rounded objects at the time. Well where kid toys goest you can usually find one of the little curtain-climbers following close behind. Yep, I was right; standing right there in front of my chair was one of the little munchkins with his arms reaching out waiting for me to give him his ball back.
"Hey, kid, this yours?" I asked and he nodded to me solemnly without saying a word. He was a slight thing with the real light blonde hair that almost looks sliver and big blue eyes. He made a motion with his right hand that looked a lot like our SpecFor sign for "yes" then made a circle over his heart; that's one I didn't know. I found out later it meant "please," that one and "I'm sorry" weren't ones they taught us in basic, not much time for the nicey-nice when you're in a situation where you have to be quiet and you're trying to pass along information.
You're probably wondering how some over-the-hill grunt like me picked up even a little bit of sign language. Well, maybe not. I suppose it shows that kind of stuff in the war-vids so I guess everybody knows its part of our standard training. You'd be surprised how many times we were someplace where even the ULF (Ultra Low Frequency) emitters we have that connect us to our combat net would paint us like we're in a spotlight. We did enough Em-Com 1 ops (that's Emission Control Level 1: total silence) back during the war that using sign was almost second nature to us.
The real question was why in the hell did this kid know it? I mean let's face it, we weren't in the dark ages anymore and just about anything that could be wrong with the ears or throat could be fixed. I don't think there were a handful of people left in the U.S. that could be considered deaf these days. Hard of listening yes, that would be Mike, but not deaf. Where the heck would he learn it and why?
"Here you go, kid," and I tossed the ball back to him. "Hey, kid, you deaf?" I asked tapping my own ear. Maybe not the most tactful of questions but what the hell I was curious. If he didn't like it he could give me the middle-finger salute and tell me to fuck-off; that was always one of Mike's favorites. If you're noticing a pattern when I talk about Mike you'd probably be dead on. She has many sterling qualities and we love the little fucked up bitch but I think they forgot to issue her anything resembling tact in her kit when she enlisted; along with politeness, consideration, thoughtfulness, discretion ... Well you catch my drift.
He cocked his head at me and then shook his head. He tapped his ear and gave a sign that looked like our "okay" then pointed to his throat and gave another one that looked a lot like our "broke" or "out-of-commission."
"So you can hear but not talk?" He nodded and shrugged. "Okay, that's strange but what the hell," I shrugged back. "Your parents around here somewhere?" He kind of got a funny look on his face and started signing as he looked around furtively. I didn't recognize anything he was telling me; probably because it didn't have anything to do with "kill," "neutralize," "hold," or "flank." Even though I didn't understand any of his signs I had a pretty good idea what he was saying.
"You're AWOL ain't ya?" I chuckled. He looked at me and gave a sign that I knew meant he didn't understand. "You're not supposed to be here and they don't know you're here, right?" He kind of looked down but grinned and nodded.
"So ya busted out and took off on your own did you?" He nodded. "Well I hate to tell ya kid but Mommy and Daddy know exactly where you are." He looked crestfallen then frowned at me and shook his head. He put his palms together and laid them alongside his cheek. They were taking a nap.
"That may be kid," I continued. "But as soon as they wake up all they have to do is ask the ship and it can tell them exactly where you are, using that." I pointed to his wrist band. He looked back at me in dismay.
"Afraid so," I nodded. "But what the hell, they ain't found you yet so you can enjoy your freedom till they do. You like ice cream?" He nodded his head vigorously. "Well I'm kind of hankering for some myself. What say we go find some until your retrieval squad comes and picks you up?" He nodded again this time with an even larger grin. Why you ask would I go get ice cream with a kid I didn't know — hell I didn't even know his name! — beats the crap out of me. For some reason I liked the little scamp and any kid that breaks collar and takes out on his own for a little fun can't be all bad. Kind of reminds me of myself way back when. Hopefully his mommy wouldn't light up his ass like mine used to do for me back when I'd done something equally stupid.
The pool area he'd wandered into was mostly for adults and didn't have an ice cream dispenser anywhere around — which is stupid! What? Adults don't like ice cream? I sure do. We made our way over to the adjacent pool that catered to families and their munchkins where there was one located.
One of the nice things about being on board the Xanadu was we were outside U.S. territorial waters and not subject to all its stupid laws. Here onboard we can get a real steak, the captain can smoke his cigarettes in public and they serve real ice cream; or at least as real as they can get anyway. It's not like the kind we get at Bennie's where we've suspended the Health and Nutritional Food laws by universal proclamation but at least it's not the tasteless, non-fat, non-dairy, vitamin-fortified, nutritionally-neutral "frozen desert" shit they force the rest of the sheep in the country to eat. Fuck that! Bennie's has the full-fat, full-flavor, guaranteed-to-kill-you-quick-but-die-with-a-smile ice cream! One taste of that and you wouldn't be wondering why the last FDA pinky puke that stormed in and tried to shut good old Bennie down ended up with his head stuck so far up his ass they're probably still trying to pull it out! Good luck with that; I think those assholes are born that way. If one of them were ever able to actually get his head out of his butt he'd probably die from the fresh air.
Anyway the stuff on board wasn't Bennie's ice cream but it wasn't bad for a second choice. We each got a bowl of the stuff and headed back to my lounge chair. We sat down and "chatted" about what he'd seen so far of the ship. It was kind of fun actually. Half the time I didn't know what the hell he was talking about but understanding even a part of it and seeing through his eyes what this big ol' ship looked like to a kid was kind of refreshing. He didn't see it as little more than a huge bar with free booze filled with tits and ass; like I said it was kind of refreshing. To him it was the biggest playground ever build. Looking back I suppose we didn't see it all that much differently; we just played with different toys.
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