Chapter 12

I tried to get my life back to normal. Still suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, I was easily rattled, had recurring nightmares, and was always afraid. You'd think with my tormentors out of harm's reach the PTSD would go away -- but it didn't. My therapist told me to remember what it was like not to be afraid. The only images that surfaced were being with Angelo. What an apropos name! He was my angel, my guardian angel. He saved my life. He got rid of my demons. I felt safe with him. So you can understand my jubilation when I answered the telephone and heard his voice.

"Angelo, you don't know how happy I am to hear from you," I said. "I never really thanked you."

"Thanked me? I didn't think you'd ever want to speak to me again."

"Why do you say that? You saved me."

"Well, the last time we were together, you were kind of, um..."

I waited breathlessly, but he didn't finish. "Moody?" I asked glumly.

"Well, depressed and ... I didn't think you wanted to be with me or talk to me."

Our trip to Mexico flashed through my mind. I had witnessed Leia and her mother's fate. It had been difficult to handle so the plane ride home was strained. But that was weeks ago.

"I had a lot on my mind," I said.

"And how about now?"

"Now?"

"How do you feel now? You know, about me."

"I think you're wonderful. You--"

"You do?"

"Yes, you saved my life. You were there for me when I needed someone. I could never repay you for all you've done."

There was a prolonged silence. "Are you still there?" I asked.

"So you don't think I'm a monster?"

"If you are, so am I. I didn't ask you to free Leia and her mother or Joan or Professor Rogers. I had a hard time accepting what happened to them, but I didn't say no to it. Did I? Does that make me a monster?"

"Mrs. Wil-- I mean, Miss Flemming, would you like to have dinner with me?"

My heart fluttered. "Only if you call me Sara," I said with a nervous chuckle.

"It's a deal ... Sara. Are you free tonight? I know it's short notice but--"

"Yes!" I said it more loudly than I meant to. "I'm free. And I'd love to have dinner with you."

I felt like a giddy schoolgirl preparing for her first date as I rummaged through my wardrobe. It was silly. It wasn't a date. A former student wanted to have dinner. True, our relationship was more than teacher and former student. Angelo was my savior, my protector, my friend. It wasn't a date. Nevertheless, I selected a sleek red dress that stopped just above my knees and was held up by spaghetti straps. Being petite with firm breasts, it was not a problem going without a bra. I fluffed my long blonde hair that I had blow-dried with its natural waves. No ponytail today. It hung to mid-back with some falling over my bare shoulders. Red lipstick matched my dress perfectly. I dabbed perfume behind my ears and at my cleavage and then self-consciously looked around the room. I giggled as I lifted the hem of my dress and put perfume on each inner thigh.

When the doorbell rang, I found myself running. Not easily done in high heels. I stopped and took a deep breath, letting it out with a whoosh. Then I walked normally, maybe a tad briskly. Sighing one more time, I opened the front door. I noticed Maxie over Angelo's shoulder standing beside the limo. As always, his eyes were not at rest but scanning the area. Angelo's whistle got my attention.

"Wow-wee!" he exclaimed. "I guess I'm underdressed."

Angelo was wearing a light-blue long-sleeve shirt with the cuffs rolled up instead of being buttoned. The shirttails were out of his pants and it was completely open showing the navy tee-shirt worn underneath. His jeans were clean but old as were his sneakers.

"No, I'm overdressed," I said flustered. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ... Hold on, I'll go change."

I turned to hurry back to my bedroom when Angelo grabbed my wrist. I stopped and turned, my face flushed.

"Don't you dare," he said. "No one's going to notice me anyway with you looking like you do. Come on, let's go. We have reservations."

I reddened even more and once again my heart fluttered. Angelo didn't wait for an answer, pulling me onto the porch.

"My purse," I said breathlessly and ran to retrieve it. I locked the door and offered Angelo my hand. He took it. His grip was firm but gentle. Just the way a man's should be. I tightened my fingers around his.

My full attention was riveted on Angelo while Maxie chauffeured us in the limo. He and I chatted about New York, my old junior high school teaching days, and my new teaching position at ASU. Only happy memories were relived. There was a lot of giggling on my part as we remembered funny stories, and Angelo blushed several times when I reminded him of how scrawny and nerdy he had been at thirteen years old. So when we stopped in front of the Hyatt on Second Street in downtown Phoenix I was rather surprised. I expected the limo to pull up to an Italian restaurant. Talk about stereotyping.

I guess Angelo saw the confusion on my face. "Reservations are at the Compass Restaurant on the rooftop. It revolves. Ever eaten there?"

"No, never."

"Is it okay? We can go wherever you want."

I grabbed his arm and hugged it to my body. "Let's go eat. You picked a fabulous place."

I didn't let go of his arm as we walked into the hotel or rode the elevator all the way to the top or were led to our table. Not until the waiter pulled my chair out and I had to. I sat and stared out the window for a few moments, watching the city slowly move beneath us.

Turning to face Angelo who was sitting across from me, I asked, "How's the waiter going to keep finding our table? We're moving but the kitchen isn't."

"I always wonder the same thing, but he always does."

"So you eat here often?"

"No, not often. Only on special occasions." His eyes were locked on mine.

Dropping my eyes momentarily, I said softly, "So this is a special occasion?" I looked back up at his face.

"Yes, very special."

Dinner was magnificent. The food and service were excellent and Angelo was charming. We continued the conversation begun in the limo, except more time was spent on life in Arizona rather than New York. I finally got Angelo to open up and he told me about his studies and friends.

"So, any girlfriends?" I asked.

"No, not really."

"Come on, a cute guy like you? You must be fighting them off."

"They're not what I'm looking for. They're so immature."

"Well maybe you should look for an old lady like me." I laughed but Angelo stared at me with a serious expression.

"You're not old."

"I'm older than you. I'm old enough to be ... your teacher." I giggled.

"You weren't much older than me when I had you." Angelo blushed. "No! I mean when I had you for a teacher."

I reached over and patted his hand, and then left mine on top of his. "That's sweet. I was a little older than you are now when you were in my class. It was my first job and I was doing my masters at night. I was only 21. New husband; new job. You know, your flight attendant reminds me of me back then."

"Yeah, me too," he said and looked down.

"Coincidence?"

"What do you mean?"

Just then the waiter appeared asking if we wanted anything else. Angelo looked at me and I shook my head. He asked for the check and soon we were back in the limo. The ride back to my house was more subdued.

Standing on my porch was somewhat awkward. He asked me if I had a good time and I said yes. He asked me if we could do it again and I said yes. And then he leaned down. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, pursing my lips. But he kissed me on the cheek.

When my eyes reopened, he said, "This is a night I will remember forever. Thank you."

I didn't know what to say so I smiled. There was another awkward moment so I fumbled through my purse for my keys and opened the door. I looked at Angelo but he didn't say or do anything.

"Good-night," I said stepping into my house.

Angelo didn't move. "Good-night."

I hesitated a few moments and then closed the door. I stood in my foyer with my back to the door, leaning against it. "What were you thinking?" I asked myself.

It was two weeks later that Angelo asked me to dinner again. When I opened the front door Angelo and I stared at each other and then we both burst out laughing. Angelo laughed so hard he doubled over holding his side. I was wearing jeans and a summer top. Angelo had on slacks and a sport coat with an open-collared shirt.

"I'll go change," I said when my laughter died down.

Angelo took off his sport coat and yanked his shirt out of his pants, rolling up the sleeves. "No need," he said and laughed again. "I'll leave the jacket in the car."

I don't even remember what restaurant we went to. I was laughing so hard and having such a good time it didn't matter. I remember having salmon because Angelo crinkled his nose when I ordered it. When I asked him why he had done that he said he didn't like fish. I responded with, "Like in 'sleeps with the fishes.'" He looked at me as if I were from Mars and then he laughed so loudly most of the other patrons stopped eating and talking to stare. But we didn't care. We were having too much fun.

This time it wasn't awkward on my front porch after dinner. We chatted like old friends. He leaned down to kiss me, but this time I kept my eyes open. When his lips headed for my cheek, I grabbed both sides of his face and guided his mouth to mine. Our lips touched, but nothing more. Sliding one hand to the back of his head, I crushed his mouth to mine. The tip of his tongue touched my lips. I opened my mouth. Soon our tongues were wildly moving inside my mouth.

When the kiss ended, Angelo looked down at me in silence. I pressed the side of my face against his chest and wrapped my arms around his body, hugging him tightly. His hands rested tentatively on my back. Without looking up, I said in a soft voice, "Would you like to come in?"

I held my breath. I didn't know what I would do if he said no. There was silence. It was as if the whole world had stopped. Everything around us was frozen in time -- suspended -- awaiting his answer. My heart pounded. I was sure he could hear it.

"I'd love to."

Did I hear him right? Did he say yes? I pulled back and looked up at his face. I wanted him to say it again. I needed to be sure it wasn't my mind playing tricks on me. He cupped my chin and leaned down, placing his lips gently on mine. They lingered there and then he kissed me. No tongue, just a sensuous kiss.