Chapter 1

I flinched at the suddenness of the sound. To anyone else, the THUMP wasn't very loud, but I caught my breath as I hunched forward in my seat. The unexpected noise jolted me from my deep thoughts. I hated being afraid, and I never used to be, but I couldn't keep from cowering with my forehead almost touching my knees, my fists tightly clenched and sweating, my breaths deep and rapid. My whole body trembled. I couldn't help it. The simplest things frightened me now. I listened intently -- holding my breath -- waiting. It was quiet, too quiet. Sitting up timidly, I looked over my shoulder ready to duck at a moment's notice.

A young woman's head popped up from behind the seat in front of her. She shifted until comfortable and then reopened the book she had dropped. She must have fallen asleep, I thought, letting out a prolonged sigh. Probably a law student. I looked around the almost empty wood-paneled courtroom and noticed a man off to the side picking his nose. I remember him. He's the reporter who interviewed me in the hospital. Oh yuck, gross. I shook that hand. His arm dropped when he saw me staring and then he nodded. My eyes darted away. Why did I look away? I used to be strong ... confident. What happened to me?

I knew the answer and my eyes were drawn to the backs of the heads of the four girls sitting at the defendants' table -- former students of mine -- disruptive students. I unconsciously rubbed the two ribs they had broken.

The wait seemed like an eternity. The jury was deliberating for a long time, allowing me to replay the painful events in my mind.

On that fateful Sunday, I had a noon lunch appointment with my friend and was ready to leave. The restaurant was 20 minutes from my house and I was annoyed when the doorbell buzzed. I opened the door, stunned to see four students from my English Literature class -- all troublemakers. I was about to tell them indignantly that I was on my way out when they barged into my house, slamming the door behind them. And then they pounced on me.

I was 28 years old and exercised regularly, but my struggles were ineffective against four roughneck girls. They grabbed my flaying arms and one yanked my head back by the hair. The rag forced into my mouth muted my scream, and then they tied something around my head to hold the gag in place. It stung the corners of my mouth and dug into my cheeks. While two girls held my arms, I stood wide-eyed and mumbling for them to let me go. I looked at their faces and shivered, unable to mask my fear. And then Leia calmly walked up to me and punched me in the belly.

I doubled over. The others released me and I dropped to my hands and knees. Staring at the dark oak floor in my foyer, I sucked in air through the gag, again and again, trying to breathe. My lungs burned and my throat became raw, but eventually my breathing returned to normal and I looked up.

Leia wagged her fist as she smirked down at me. I thought it odd that she was wearing a latex glove. I glared at her, and then my eyes traveled to Joan, then Jennifer, and finally Heather. I think it was Joan who dropped to a knee and slipped the pillowcase over my head. It happened so fast I'm not sure. And then I felt the rope around my neck. I moved my head this way and that, anything to prevent being strangled, but I was helpless while the others held me. And then my eyes opened wide in the darkness as the rope tightened around my throat. I was sure I was going to die, but then I realized I could still breathe and the rope was simply holding the pillowcase in place.

All of a sudden the rope tightened when someone jerked me onto my back, dragging me along the floor. My hands flew to my neck, my fingers sliding inside the noose and curling around it, desperately pulling with all my might -- anything to let air into my lungs. But the rope just tightened around my fingers while my feet kicked helplessly. They're going to hang me! my mind screamed in sheer panic.

And then the rope was jerked so hard I thought my windpipe would crush. My upper body rose as my butt slid on the carpet -- and then my back slammed into the couch. When I felt the slack on the rope I frantically pulled at the noose allowing me to gulp in air through the gag with short, quick breaths. I sat gasping, leaning against the couch with my legs straight out on the floor, pulling on the rope tied around my neck, sucking in as much air as I could manage.

When I knew I wasn't going to die of asphyxiation, I reached for the pillowcase. But one of the girls yanked my arm down and held my hand against the floor. Someone else stomped on it with the heel of her shoe. I screamed into the gag and spittle leaked from the corners of my mouth down my chin. I tried to remove the pillowcase again with the same result, tears now soaking into the cotton. I didn't try again.

I sat on the floor trembling, rubbing my throbbing hand, sobbing. I remember the pillowcase being sucked into my mouth with each deep breath and then be blown out when I exhaled. I had never been so frightened.

Then they began taunting me, telling me I was going to pay for making their lives miserable. They called me disgusting names and threatened me. It went on for a long time and I jumped when the chimes from my grandfather clock signaled the noon hour. Almost half an hour had gone by.

One of them stomped on my knee. I screamed and reached for it when another kicked me in the ribs causing me to fall onto my side. And then they viscously beat me. They punched and kicked me, and hit me with a stick or broom or something until I lost consciousness. And then they threw water on my covered face and started over. I remember lying on the floor writhing in pain listening to them laughing and taunting me. My hands and arms tried to block their blows, but waved ineffectively like a helpless blind person. I tried rolling out of the way, but they were all around me. When I neared one she kicked me and I rolled the other way only to be kicked by another. The monsters dragged me around the room by my clothing, ripping it to shreds. When my skin was bare they whipped me with a leather belt. At least that's what the red marks left on my body suggested. I cried and screamed so hard I thought I might swallow the rag. And the pillowcase, soaked in the water they splashed on me and the blood from my nose, clung to my mouth and nostrils making it difficult to breathe. I thought for sure I was going to die. It hurt so much I prayed for death. Anything to end the suffering.

How long they abused me I'll never know. Thankfully I don't remember much of the specifics. It's fuzzy, like a dream you can't quite remember the details of.

My concerned friend, the one I was supposed to have lunch with, came to my house and found my unconscious battered body. I was nearly dead. I had a concussion, broken ribs, a broken arm and wrist, dislocated shoulder, damaged knee, and a collapsed lung. That was in addition to the many cuts and bruises.

I was rushed to the hospital. Later, when I was capable of speaking, I gave the police the names of the four assailants -- all students of mine. They were arrested, let out on bail, and brought to trial. The trial only lasted a few days and now I was waiting for the verdict.

Why was I worried? I knew the girls. They didn't even bother to cover their faces when they stormed into my house. They wore surgical gloves so none of their fingerprints were discovered by the crime scene investigators, but I saw them and I knew who they were. I was an eye witness. It was an open and shut case. So why was the jury deliberating for so long?