Chapter 82: In a Moment of Weakness

The next day at school, as soon as he found the girls from the volleyball team, he walked right up to them and gave Erica a hug.

"Thank you so much for finding my little sister," he told her.

"Hey, the rest of us helped too," Jenny complained. Jeff released Erica and hugged Jenny, then he hugged Tracy, then went around the rest of the group, hugging them all. He paused at Gwen, who might not appreciate a hug from a boy after all, but she merely shrugged and threw her arms around him.

All through school, he couldn't get his mind off his little sister. At least he paid more attention in class; now that his melancholy had passed, he started to care more about everything, including his education. After school, Jeff headed home with Brit, happy to be able to spend time with her again.

He realized that afternoon that their relationship had changed once again, this time for the better hopefully. At first they had been enemies, always bickering and fighting. Then they had become lovers. Now, both of those were in the past, and they were free to be friends.

By Monday, Brit was back to her old cheerful self. The danger seemed to have passed, and all the sadness and melancholy of the past couple of months had just about vanished as well. That was a good sign, but secretly Jeff still felt a little bitter because it looked like she no longer needed him. Still, as long as it kept her from running away again, he was willing to limit his contact with her. It still pained him to see her acting affectionate with Greg, but he could live with it.

That afternoon, as soon as the last bell rang he dashed out to his car and took a drive over to the junior high to pick her up for the "detention." He couldn't find her out front, and he had a moment of panic as he thought she might have run away again. But he made his way inside to look for her there. He knew she had Mr. Nelson for homeroom teacher, and unless they had rearranged rooms since he had been in junior high himself, he knew exactly where that was.

To his relief, he found her there, sitting alone with Mr. Nelson in his class. He opened the door and stepped into the room.

"Hello, Jeff," Mr. Nelson smiled. He had been Jeff's teacher three years ago, and they had always gotten along well together.

"Hi, Mr. Nelson," he smiled back. "I'm just here to pick up Brit."

"I know, and I'm sorry to keep you waiting. She and I were just having a little talk."

Again Jeff had a momentary suspicion; Mr. Nelson's daughter Kimmy had confessed to having a sexual relationship with him, which meant he liked young girls. But he couldn't imagine the man ever taking anyone against their will. He had always been one of the kindest and gentlest teachers in the school. No doubt Brit was perfectly safe with him.

"All right," said Jeff. "If you need a few more minutes, I can wait outside..."

"Oh no, we're done here," replied Mr. Nelson.

"Come on, Brit," said Jeff, reaching out his hand to her.

"Jeff," said Mr. Nelson. "Do you mind if I have a word with you in private?"

"Sure," he shrugged. "Brit, you go ahead and go out to the car. I'll be right with you."

"Okay, but don't wait too long," she smiled.

As soon as she left the room, Mr. Nelson sat down on the corner of his desk. "I'm going to be perfectly frank," he said. "Britney told me about your relationship."

"What?" asked Jeff, astonished.

"Don't be mad at her. I kind of pried it out of her. And just to be perfectly clear, she also mentioned that both of you know about me and my daughter Kimmy. So don't worry about me disclosing your secret. If I ever did that, you have enough on me to send me to prison for a very long time."

"I wouldn't ever do that. I've met Kimmy, and I know she loves you a lot."

"Yes she does, and I love her. Just like you and Britney love each other. You see, I'm in a unique position here. I can give you the kind of advice that you can get nowhere else."

Jeff nodded. Actually, he felt kind of relieved. Here was someone who had gone through many of the things Jeff had, someone who actually understood him.

"Before Kimmy came to live with me," Mr. Nelson continued, "she wasn't very happy. I won't go into details, but let's just say it wasn't the kind of life she deserved. When I was pretty much forced to take care of her, I was reluctant at first, but after a couple of days of seeing just how sweet of a girl she is, I decided that I would do anything to make her happy. And it seems to have worked.

"Now, you did something that hurt your little sister. Fortunately, there was no permanent harm done. We'll just call it a bad decision and move on. It's what happens in the future that concerns me. And that's where my advice comes in. If you want to make things right between you two, then do what I did. Make it your goal in life to see that she's happy. If you do that, then I promise you that what happened last week will never happen again."

"I wish it were that simple," Jeff said. "But my dad found out about us, and he was furious. He's set up some rules, so I'm limited in what I can do to make her happy."

Mr. Nelson nodded. "Well, that does complicate things, but it just makes it more of a challenge. You're a bright young man, so I'm sure you'll find a way to do what needs to be done. Just like Kimmy, Britney deserves it."

"Yes she does," nodded Jeff.

"All right. I've said my piece. If you ever need to talk, understand that I'm here for you. Tell Britney that too."

"I will. And thanks."

"And one more thing. Kimmy also told me about that slumber party at the Williams House on Crystal's fourteenth birthday. She admitted fooling around with some of the girls, but that she drew the line at doing the same with you. Is this true?"

"Yes sir."

"Good," said Mr. Nelson, sounding relieved. "I don't mind her having fun with her girlfriends like that; I think a little experimentation between girls at that age is healthy, and besides," he laughed, "it kind of turns me on to think of it. On the other hand, I want you to promise me that if you ever find yourself in another situation like that with her, you won't touch her. I ask you that both as a protective parent and as a jealous lover."

"Absolutely. I would never do anything that a girl doesn't like, and I would never ask her to cheat on the person they love." He actually felt a little guilty about that; he had made love to Allison behind his father's back after all. But in the end it had turned out all right.

"All right. I know I can trust you."

It sounded like that was the end of the discussion, so Jeff headed for the door. On the way out, he met Kimmy, who was just going in to see her father.

"Hi Jeff," she smiled.

"Hi Kimmy," he replied. "You know, you've got one hell of a dad."

"I know," she giggled, ducking into the room.

Jeff headed outside to the car, where he met Brit. He was about to climb into the car when he spotted his friend Rick across the parking long, standing there with his little sister Amy mounted on his back with her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs wrapped around his torso. At thirteen, she was way too old for piggyback rides, but from the grin on Rick's face, it was obvious that he didn't mind.

"Could you hold on a minute?" he told Brit. She nodded.

He waved to Rick, then headed over to them.

"Hi Jeff," said Rick.

"Hi Rick," he smiled. "I take it you came by to pick up your little sister too?"

"He comes by every day," Amy grinned. "He just can't stay away from me."

Rick laughed. "You're the one to talk," he said. "Hanging on me all the time. Literally sometimes, like right now."

"Yep, I guess we're just stuck with each other."

"So how's Brit doing?" asked Rick. "I heard about what happened last week. Amy's in some of her classes at school."

"She's much better than she was," Jeff replied.

"That's good. So if you don't mind my asking, why did she run away?"

"Well, that gets complicated. Let's just say she and I got into a fight."

"Not unusual for you two," Rick grinned. "At least, not until this year. You seem to be getting along a lot better than you used to though. At least, until just recently."

"Yeah, we had our differences. Speaking of which, you used to hate your sister too, didn't you?"

"I never hated her," replied Rick. "I just didn't realize how much I loved her."

Amy grinned, then leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

"Except when she gets all affectionate in public," Rick laughed. Amy stuck out her tongue at him. "But seriously, I used to be embarrassed by her hanging all over me all the time, but now I just don't let it bother me."

"So what happened between you two?" asked Jeff.

Rick and Amy both turned red, though they tried to hide it. Jeff suddenly had a sneaking suspicion. Could it be possible?

"So do you two ever..." he said, then wondered how he could possibly ask them that.

"Ever what?" asked Amy.

"Do you two ever ... fight still?" It wasn't what he had intended to ask, but at least it came out as a harmless and reasonable question.

"Sometimes," said Amy. "But as long as I know Rick loves me, I don't mind. Besides, it just means we get to make up later."

Rick turned his head and gave her a stern look, and Jeff's suspicions were confirmed.

"Anyway," said Jeff, "I've got to go. I'll see you tomorrow for our study group, Rick?"

"I'll be there," he smiled.

"As long as Vanessa is there," Amy teased.

"Hey!" Rick exclaimed. It was all in fun, of course. Rick and Vanessa had been friends for a long time and it was likely that if they hadn't gotten together by now, they never would. Besides, it appeared that Rick already had a special someone in his life. But Jeff knew from experience that little sisters loved to tease their older siblings about any potential love interest.

Jeff turned around and headed back to Brit and his car, pretty confident now that Mr. Nelson wasn't the only one who understood what he was going through. Maybe it wasn't so unusual after all.

As they drove back to the high school, Jeff glanced over at Brit, who had a nervous look on her face. He thought he knew the reason for that nervousness.

"If you're worried that I'll be mad at you for telling Mr. Nelson about us, don't be," he said, and she seemed relieved.

"I'm sorry," she told him.

"It's okay. He told me he pried it out of you. You never could keep a secret," he chuckled. "But never mind that. I don't think there's a problem telling him because he's got his own secret that we know about. He was just concerned for your welfare, so he gave me some advice."

"What advice."

"Basically to make it my goal in life to make you happy. It's good advice."

"Really?" Brit grinned delightedly.

"Of course, I expect you to do the same," he teased.

"Okay," she replied. "I'll make it my goal in life to make me happy."

"No, I meant..."

"Just kidding. I'm going to do everything I can to make you happy. Fair enough?"

"I think things are going to be a lot better from now on," he smiled.

The "detention" turned out to be all fun and games. All the girls gave Brit a hug as soon as she arrived, though she had to endure several lectures about running away, by Principal Foster and some of the girls on the volleyball team. Jenny even mentioned that she had run away once, when she was seven. Her resolve had lasted only two blocks. When she returned home, her parents hadn't even known she was missing, and never did find out that she had run away.

Jeff came to Brit's rescue and claimed that he was entirely to blame, though he gave no details, only saying it was because he had gotten into a fight with her. It seemed a satisfactory answer, especially to anyone who knew about his past history of fighting with her all the time, and no one pushed for any more details than that. He figured that several of the girls suspected that there was something more going on between them, especially after that day in September when they had practiced at the Primdale house. They had seen firsthand how affectionate Brit was with Jeff. None of them mentioned it though, especially not in front of Principal Foster.

The pizza was good, and they all had a lot of fun sitting around eating and talking. It was the most un-detention-like detention he had ever attended, not that he had much experience. He was a good kid, and rarely found himself in trouble.

Principal Foster did give them a lecture at the end, about how important their attendance was and that they shouldn't make it a habit to skip school, even with the noblest of intentions. He said that just because it had turned out all right this time didn't mean it was always the right thing to do. He stopped short of making them promise not to leave school grounds again, only asking that they think about what they were doing if they ever felt the urge again. Brit voluntarily promised, however, that she at least would never give them a reason in the future, which seemed to put his mind at ease.

After another round of hugs, they all left to return to their various homes. Jeff held Brit's hand as they drove back, only releasing it once they arrived at the mansion, where Allison and Greg awaited them.

After the emotional ordeal of Brit running away, things seemed to improve. Jeff and Brit got along much better, to Greg's immense relief. Somehow after all that had happened, they had managed to find the happy medium, where they neither bickered nor showed too much affection. They acted like normal, loving and caring brothers and sisters.

The only problem was that they always seemed to have guilty expressions on their faces whenever he walked in on them. Even if they had just been sitting together on the couch, they tended to scoot apart as soon as he entered the room. They cut off their conversations or abruptly changed subjects. He felt like an intruder every time he joined them.

He wondered whether it was because they were doing things they shouldn't, but he tested that theory by eavesdropping on their conversations a couple of times for a minute or two before entering the room. He didn't like the idea of spying on his children, so he limited it to only a couple of instances. The things they talked about were just normal, everyday subjects, but for some reason his children felt it was necessary to end their discussions as soon as he arrived.

Granted, several times he caught Jeff with his arm around his little sister was they sat together on the couch, but Greg didn't mind that at all. Still, Jeff immediately withdrew his arm upon spying his father.

For some reason, those guilty expressions and hasty actions bothered Greg. He had always tried to be caring and understanding, but now his kids seemed intimidated by him. They might be getting along well with each other, but they certainly weren't getting along with their father. There was no open animosity, just a certain barrier between father and children, a kind of cold war.

After a couple of weeks of that, he could stand it no longer, so that night he decided to ask Allison about it. She always seemed to be very perceptive when it came to the kids, especially since they didn't have the same problems around her as around him.

"Allison," said Greg as they were getting ready for bed, "am I a bad father?"

"You're an extraordinarily good father," she replied.

"Then why do I feel like a villain in my own house?"

She hesitated before responding. "Do you want the honest truth?"

"Actually, I was hoping for emotional support," he laughed.

"Well, I can give you that too, but not at the same time."

Greg sighed. "All right. The truth. Just be gentle; I don't think I can handle a brutal assault on my parenting skills." He sat down on the bed; he didn't think he would be able to take this standing up.

"All right. You want your children to turn out the best they can. You want them to be happy. That much just makes you an average parent. But you've done more than that. You've sacrificed for them. You could be living in a house fifty times this size, with maids and butlers and a full-time gardening staff, and servants ready to wait on you hand and foot. Or you could be living a glamorous and hedonistic life, like Kristen and Roberta. I saw the look of envy in your eyes when we visited them last Spring. But you wanted your children to grow up in a normal home with a loving family, learning to do things for themselves instead of expecting others to do them for them. You even sent them to public school, when you could have afforded the best private schools in the country, because you wanted them to be normal teenagers, learning to socialize with a variety of kids from various backgrounds, having all the experiences teenagers should, dealing with typical problems and learning to stand on their own feet. In short, you don't want your kids to grow up to be brats. Am I right?"

"Exactly."

"In that sense, you're more than an average parent. You're downright heroic. The problem is, somewhere along the way, you got boring."

"Hey, that's a little--"

"Just hear me out, Greg. Since I'm being honest here, I might as well tell you that I've often suspected that that was the reason your first wife left you. Because frankly, I can't think of any other reason. You're charming, devoted, gallant, chivalrous, and a great lover. It's just that, until I came along, you really didn't know how to have fun."

"Okay, I suppose I can see that. I kind of disagree, but for the sake of argument, I'll humor you."

"But then I did come along, and that's when the problem started. You still want your children to turn out healthy, emotionally strong, and well-adjusted. That's fine. You want your daughters to one day fall in love with good and honest men, and you want your son to fall in love with a good and honest woman. You consider any deviation from that to be, well, deviant. I disagree with how narrow-minded that view is, but I really can't fault it.

"But you're no longer leading by example. You don't want Lissa to become a lesbian, but you've slept with two women, and let them have sex with each other right before your eyes. You even let your own daughter get frisky with me last year on that sailing trip. You don't want Jeff and Brit to fall in love with each other, but you condone my relationship with my sister. I'll admit, on that score I'm far more to blame than you are, but then, at least I'm consistent. I'm not trying to keep Lissa away from Alya, or Jeff away from Brit. But you are, and that makes you a hypocrite. That's why your kids see you as kind of a villain. They're still too young to understand your reasons for wanting to limit who they fall in love with; all they see is a double standard. You're allowed to have fun, but they're not. To them, it's that simple."

Greg nodded. It was a long time before he spoke. As he stared at the floor, Allison sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulder.

"You're right," he said. "I'm a hypocrite. I just want to do the right thing, but I don't know what that is any more."

"For the record, I still think you're an extraordinary father," she told him.

"But what should I do? I love them and I would do anything to make them happy."

"One option is to simply let them fall in love with whomever they want. Let Lissa have Alya, and let Brit have Jeff."

"That won't make them happy. That will just give them some moments of pleasure now, but it will ruin their lives later."

"How do you know that? Have you seen the future? Maybe Brit could never be happy with anyone less noble, gentle, and charming than Jeff. You have to admit, that's a pretty high standard. And maybe the worst thing Lissa can do is try to repress her sexuality, to limit herself to loving just men. You still have that ideal of normal heterosexual relationships for your children in your mind, but maybe that's impossible to reach, and attempting it is worse than just admitting that they're going to be a little unconventional."

"I don't know. It seems so ... I don't know. So what are my other options?"

"Well, you could leave things how they are. Refuse to negotiate on the rules you've set up, and hope that eventually they come around. And maybe some day they will. Or maybe you'll just end up alienating yourself, they'll do what they want anyway, and they'll resent you for interfering."

"I suspect that's what's already happening," he mumbled.

"Or you can just let them experiment with these relationships, hoping they'll run their course and then end. Maybe Jeff and Brit will fall out of love with each other on their own. Maybe Lissa and Alya will break up. But there are no guarantees of either of those happening."

"I just wish I could put things back how they were."

"If it will make you feel any better, that much at least is a normal part of parenting. Things change. Children grow up. Kids become teenagers, then adults. Sometimes you just have to accept that one part of your life is over, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the next."

Greg suddenly chuckled. "Here I am, fifteen years older than you, and you're giving me all kinds of motherly advice. I still don't know what to do, but I feel a little better at least."

"Do you want my opinion on where to go from here?" she asked.

"Yes."

"You have conflicting goals, and you have to decide which you want more, because you may need to choose between them. You want your kids to be happy, and you want your kids to have normal relationships. Maybe you can't have both. So focus on their happiness, and trust their judgment enough to let them decide who can make them happy."

Greg shook his head. "I wish it were that simple. I really do. I wish I could just tell them to do whatever they want, and they would be happy. But I still think what they're doing is wrong, and it can only end in misery."

Allison shrugged. "It worked for Rachael and me."

"You're not my children."

"Neither are you."

He sighed. "Okay, I don't want to argue with you. Maybe I've been a little harsh on the kids. Lissa especially, because she's an adult now, and can make her own decisions about things like that. I may not like it, but I'm going to have to learn to live with it. I'll try to be supportive of Lissa in her decision, even if I'm dreading Alya's visit this summer. But Jeff and Brit ... I don't want them to hate me, but I don't know what to do."