Chapter 79: No More Secrets

In contrast to the gloom that had settled over the Primdale household, Lissa Primdale was having the time of her life. She loved being in love. Alya and she had a lot of fun. No matter what they did together, they enjoyed it, whether going out to see a movie, buying groceries, taking a romantic stroll through the snow-covered park, washing the dishes, or keeping Monique and Meg awake with the sounds of their passionate lovemaking at night.

That didn't mean Lissa didn't have her share of worries. She had been shocked one day to read an email that Allison had sent telling her that Greg had discovered Jeff's and Brit's incestuous affair. It bothered her to realize that things weren't going too well at home. Allison assured her in the email that Greg didn't know that Lissa had been involved in it at Christmas time. She also mentioned the letter that Lissa had sent her regarding the relationship with Alya. So far, Allison hadn't said anything to Greg about it, since the shock of finding out his son and daughter were having sex had overwhelmed him, and Allison didn't want to pile another burden onto him. She assured Lissa that she would tell him soon though, and that was the second thing that Lissa worried about.

The third was that Alya did not yet know about the goings-on in Lissa's family. She knew that Lissa had a younger brother and sister that she adored, but she had not even the tiniest suspicion that Lissa had had a fling with both of them at Christmas time. Lissa still worried about what her reaction would be upon finding it out. She knew there were some people out there, like Allison, that had no problem with it, but she also knew that a lot of people would be disgusted and offended by it.

But Alya was a very tolerant person. She had never been judgmental about Meg's sexuality, and she had forgiven Lissa right away when Lissa had confessed that she had plotted against her. Alya tended to see the good in people rather than the bad. That had made her an easy victim for Matt, and it had made her an easy victim for Lissa. But it was also one of the things Lissa loved best about her.

One afternoon in early February, Lissa decided to just come right out and tell her. Whatever Alya's reaction, it wasn't likely to change just because more time had passed. The two of them sat together on the couch, arms wrapped around each other and snuggling together. They had a blanket thrown over them as they just sat with Alya's head on Lissa's shoulder.

"Alya," said Lissa quietly. "I'm ready to tell you my last secret. I'm still a little nervous, because I'm afraid of what you'll think of me."

"It's all right, Lissa," said Alya, glancing up at her. "You can tell me anything. I love you, and nothing's going to change that."

"I know. It's just that some of this is pretty bad. I'm not apologizing for what I've done, because I knew what I was doing, and I have no regrets."

"Just tell me. I won't judge you. I promise."

"Alya, what do you think of incest?"

"What? Oh, I don't know. I think it's a little disturbing, but then again I've never had the temptation because I'm an only child. And my Dad ... well, like I said, no temptation."

Lissa took a deep breath. This was it. "What if I told you that I had an affair with my brother and sister over Christmas vacation?" she asked.

Alya stared at her, perhaps a little surprised. "You're serious?" she asked.

"Yes. It was all a part of what I thought was the new Lissa. You remember her. She's the vengeful, spiteful, hateful girl that tried to seduce you to steal you away from Matt. The girl that did whatever she wanted, and damn the consequences. The girl that you turned into who I am today."

"You actually slept with your brother and sister?"

"Yes. Like I said, I have no regrets. The only thing I'm ashamed of is what you must think of me."

"Tell me this. When you go home next summer, are you going to continue that relationship?"

"You deserve to know the truth. With my sister, it was just an experiment, but I want to keep things going with my brother. But I won't do it behind your back, so if it bothers you at all, I'll call the whole thing off. I know he'll be understanding about the whole thing, and you're much more important to me than a fling with my brother."

Alya smiled. "I can't have that on my conscience now, can I? It's all right, Lissa. It sounds like your brother's a great guy. You know, it's funny, but I think it's okay because he's your brother. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm not in danger of you choosing him over me. See, if I asked you to give up sex with him, you could still be his sister, so you could maintain some kind of relationship with both of us, and therefore you wouldn't mind making that sacrifice for me. In other words, if you were forced to choose between us, you would choose me because you're still not giving him up completely. Knowing that, I don't have to worry because I could always have you make that choice in the future if I wanted to. Does that make sense?"

"No, but I'll accept that kind of nonsense any day."

"Besides, I'd like to meet this brother of yours. His name's Jeff, right? After that whole incident with Matt, I wouldn't mind meeting a guy like Jeff. You wouldn't be opposed to me getting friendly with him, would you?"

Lissa was reminded of Meg's relationship with her brother and his wife. It hadn't worked for them, but then, Meg wasn't bisexual. Lissa wondered if something like that could work out for the three of them.

"If you're trying to make me jealous, it's not working," she said. "If you're trying to make me horny, it is. It might be fun to try it out with all three of us. Of course, you're going to have to stand in line. It seems that everybody is after him. His girlfriend, his girlfriend's sister, our sister, our stepmother's sister, and I'm not entirely sure our stepmother isn't interested."

"Okay, so maybe he's more like Matt than I thought," Alya laughed.

"Except that he's not doing anything behind their backs. They all have no problem with it. If his girlfriend wanted him to be exclusive, I'm sure he'd give up all the others."

"Okay, so it won't be the three of us. It will be the eight of us, or however many there are. Maybe we could invite Meg and Sandy to join in as well. And Monique, while I think of it. We'll get a nice harem going."

"I never knew you were so dirty, Alya," Lissa grinned.

"Only around you. You bring out the best in me. But seriously, it sounds like you've got an interesting family. I'd like to visit you this summer some time."

"Maybe. I'd love that, but I still haven't told them about us. I'm sure my stepmother would be happy to know I've fallen in love with someone, male or female. But my Dad's a lot more conservative. I'm scared of what his reaction will be."

"So just start an affair with him also. That should open him up to new ideas."

Lissa began to turn red, and Alya's eyes grew wide as she saw it.

"You didn't..." she breathed.

"Sort of. My dad and stepmom and I took a vacation last summer. We started taking pictures, innocently at first, and then getting naughtier and naughtier."

"Did you actually... ?"

"Since I'm being completely honest anyway, you might as well know, I did some lesbian pictures with my stepmom. Then I ... did some photos with my dad."

"You mean real, sexual stuff?"

"It was all in fun, but there was some rubbing and fondling and ... well ... I put his dick in my mouth."

Alya surprised her by bursting out laughing. "You're amazing, Lissa!" she said. "I thought Meg was the pervert of this apartment, but you've got her beat."

"I don't know whether I should be take that as a compliment or an insult."

"Let's put it this way. At least I know that romance with you is never going to get boring. Now I really want to meet your family."

Lissa laughed, relieved that Alya had taken it so well. Now one of her two worries had been resolved, and she felt much better. She would just have to face the other two when they came up.

Monique arrived home about an hour later, and sat down to talk with them. Monique was a lot like Alya, Lissa concluded. The girl had a natural accepting attitude that made her great to get along with. She liked to joke and tease about Meg, and now about Lissa and Alya also, but it was always just in fun. It was nice to be surrounded by roommates who refused to judge one another.

About an hour after dinner, the phone rang. Monique was the closest, so she answered it. "It's for you, Lissa," she said.

Lissa got up and headed over to the phone, putting it to her ear. "Hello?" she said.

"Hi, Lissa. This is your Dad," the voice on the other end said.

"Hi, Dad," she grinned.

"Lissa..." he said. "Allison ... She told me ... told me ... about Alya."

Lissa's face suddenly went white.

"What is it?" asked Alya with concern, sensing the change in her.

"Dad, can you hold on for a minute?" Lissa asked. She lowered the phone and put her hand over the receiver.

"I'm sorry, you guys, but I really need some privacy right now," she said.

"What's wrong?" asked Monique.

"My Dad just found out I have a girlfriend," she replied.

"Say no more," Monique told her. "Come on, Alya. I'm in the mood for ice cream. Let's go to the store and pick up a carton. My treat."

Alya nodded, and the two of them hurried out the door.

Lissa took a deep breath to calm her nerves, then put the receiver back to her ear.

"Sorry, Dad," she said, trying to sound calm. "I just had to kick my roommates out so we could talk alone. Go ahead."

"Lissa, is it true? Are you actually dating a ... a woman?"

"Yes, Dad. You might as well know the whole truth. We're lovers."

"You're what?" he demanded.

"You heard me, Dad."

"Lissa, what ... why ... what kind of nonsense is this?"

"It's not nonsense, Dad. Alya and I are in love."

"This is just a phase you're going through, right? I mean--"

"No it's not. As far as I'm concerned, I'm going to love Alya for the rest of my life."

"Is that why you never had a boyfriend growing up? Because you were a lesbian?"

"That's a low blow, Dad."

"I'm sorry, dear. I just have to know."

"All right. No. Alya is the first woman I've ever been in love with."

"This is all my fault," he mumbled.

"How is it your fault?"

"That sailing trip last summer. I let the joke get out of hand. You and Allison--"

"There's never been anything between me and Allison, Dad. That sailing trip meant nothing."

"But how could you just do this? Didn't I raise you right?"

"You raised me wonderfully, Dad. But there comes a time in everyone's life when they have to leave their parents and start making decisions on their own. This was my decision to make, not yours."

"But it's wrong!"

"Why?"

"Because it is."

"No it isn't, because it isn't. See? I can use that same logic."

"That's not funny, Lissa," he told her sternly.

"It's not meant to be funny."

"Lissa, you have to put an end to this relationship."

"No."

"Don't say no to your father."

"Then don't tell your daughter to do things that are impossible."

"Lissa, if we're just going to fight, then I'm going to hang up right now."

"Then hang up."

"Lissa..." His voice trailed off, leaving an empty silence.

She sighed. This was going about as bad as she had expected. "Dad," she said, more calmly. "I'm sorry. I really don't want to fight with you over this. But you're not even giving it a chance. If you could just meet Alya, you'd see how absolutely wonderful she is. She's beautiful, and kind, and gentle, and the sweetest girl in the whole world."

"That's not the point," he replied, though the angry tone had left his voice. "Even if she's the most perfect woman in the world, she's still a woman."

"Dad, can't you just accept me for who I am? For who I've become? I'm not the same girl I used to be, I'll admit that. And I know I didn't turn out like you wanted me to." Her emotions began to break through at this point, and she found her voice wavering. "But I still want to be your daughter."

"But you're going against everything I ever taught you."

"Daddy," she said. "I don't want you to be disappointed in me, but this is just who I am now. Can't you see that?" She was on the verge of tears now.

"Lissa, please don't cry," he said softly. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. It's for your own sake that I say these things."

"I know," she said. "You want what you think is best for me. But you're wrong this time, Daddy. What's best for me right now is Alya."

"I'm sorry, but I just can't accept that."

"But you haven't even met her!"

"Lissa ... You just can't do this."

She sighed, taking a moment to collect herself. She wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up straight to help her confidence. "I'm not going to give her up, and that's final. So you're going to have to deal with it in one way or another. Since Alya and I are going to stay together, if you ever want to see me again, you're going to have to eventually meet her."

"What was that? Was that a threat? Or an ultimatum?"

"That was a logical conclusion. If you want an ultimatum, here's one for you. I'm going to invite Alya to visit me this summer. That will either be in your house, or somewhere else. In other words, if you want me to come home this summer, you're going to have to agree to have Alya there."

"Lissa, what are you trying to pull?"

"Nothing. I just know as soon as you meet Alya you'll feel much better about this. I don't want to force you, but it sounds like this is the only way."

"I can't believe you're doing this to me."

"I can't believe it either, but I am. Look, I'm going to hang up now. You just think it over. I'll call you tomorrow so you can give me your answer."

Greg sighed. "There's no need for that," he said. "If having Alya visit is the only way I get to see you this summer, then I guess I can let her come."

"Really?" asked Lissa, suddenly feeling a lot better.

"You didn't exactly leave me with any choice, did you?"

"I'm sorry, Dad. I don't like to fight with you, but there was just no other way to make you see."

"Well, I'm sorry we got in a fight too. I've just been overwhelmed by what's been happening to my children lately. It just seems like I'm losing control of this family."

"Dad, I'm eighteen years old and living on my own now. You're not supposed to control me any more. The only thing you're supposed to do is love me."

"I do love you, honey."

"I love you too, Daddy. And I really want to come home. Please promise you'll at least give Alya a chance. I just know you'll like her."

"I don't think I'll ever get used to the idea of you being a lesbian, but at least I can be civilized about it."

"Thanks. I guess that will have to do for now."

"I guess it will. Goodbye, Lissa."

"Goodbye, Dad." She hung up the phone, then went over and sat back down on the couch. Weak and trembling and almost hyperventilating, she tried to calm herself down. It didn't work, and a few seconds later she burst into tears and buried her head in a pillow.

When Monique and Alya returned home and saw her sitting there with puffy red eyes, they both came and sat down beside her on the couch, putting their arms around her. She lay her head down on Alya's shoulder, and Alya gave her a tender kiss on the forehead. Alya glanced over at Monique with a questioning look as if asking if it were okay to continue, but Monique just shrugged. So Alya turned Lissa toward her and pulled her in to a tender hug, bathing her face with kisses. Monique leaned up against Lissa's back and wrapped her arms around them both.

Sitting there in the girls' arms, Lissa didn't feel so bad any more. It surprised her that Monique was willing to sit there with them as Alya kissed her, but then, Monique had never been judgmental of Meg's lifestyle, so why should Alya's and Lissa's bother her?

Later, they sat down at the table eating ice cream. It was hard to feel bad while eating ice cream, which now that she thought of it, was probably Monique's plan all along. Soon she was as cheerful as ever.

That night, she invited Alya to come visit that summer. At first the girl was reluctant, especially after seeing Lissa's reaction to the phone call. Lissa explained that her dad had not taken the news at all well, but she felt that this had to be done. After some coaxing and even begging, Alya finally gave in and agreed.

That relieved one-and-a-half out of three of her worries. Alya was okay with Lissa's unwholesome relationship with her siblings, and the dreaded confrontation with her father was over, though this likely wasn't the end of that. She knew she would have to face her father again, this time introducing Alya to him face to face. But now that they had passed the initial barrier, she felt it would go much smoother from here on.

A couple of days later she and Alya were sitting in the front room giving each other back rubs when the phone rang. Alya was lying on her stomach, half asleep on the floor, so Lissa hopped up and answered the phone.