Chapter 71: The Final Betrayal

The day was drawing to a close on that cold, December evening as Alya sat in the library. Although it was Friday night, she was cramming for a test coming up on Monday, so she had told Matt that she wouldn't be able to go out with him. He was very understanding of the whole thing, which was one thing she liked about him so much. He was always so considerate.

Surprisingly, she didn't feel bad about it at all. She really wasn't in the mood to go out with Matt that night anyway; she probably wouldn't have enjoyed herself. After she finished here, she planned to go back to the apartment and just relax for a while. Lissa would be there, and Alya always enjoyed her company.

She had been thinking about Lissa increasingly frequently lately, and wanting to spend more and more time with her. She sometimes thought she had more fun with Lissa than Matt, which was a surprising thought. Matt was handsome and charming, and the sex was nice of course, but there was something about Lissa that made Alya feel so comfortable around her. With Matt, Alya always felt self-conscious, as if their relationship were fragile and could be destroyed with a single wrong word. With Lissa, there was none of that. Alya could just let go of all her worries and be herself, because Lissa would never judge her.

Even with dozens of other students in the library, Alya suddenly felt very lonely. She had an urge to close up her books and go home right now, to talk and joke and laugh with Lissa. She could always study extra hard tomorrow to make up for it.

That wasn't like her, she realized. Alya would never sacrifice good studying time for such simple pleasures. At least, that used to be the way she felt. She was a bookworm, but lately she had felt a lot more social, at least around Matt and her roommates.

She sighed and closed her book. If she was going to let her mind wander like that, there was no point staying here in the library. She wasn't really getting any studying done anyway. Maybe after taking a long break with Lissa she would hit the books again later that night, but for now she was too tired.

As she stepped out of the library, a cold wind whipped through her hair, causing her to shiver. At the moment it was not snowing, but it had snowed a little earlier in the day, and the ground was covered in a white blanket. She had to be careful to watch her step; the sidewalks could be icy when it was like this.

She had brought only a light jacket, so was unprepared for the cold air. Part of her wanted to march right back into the warm library building, but she knew that her apartment was waiting for her. As soon as she arrived home, she would grab one of the blankets off her bed and curl up on the couch.

The only thing missing from the fantasy was a nice mug of hot chocolate (with marshmallows, of course). She had neither at home, so that was out of the question. Then she realized that there was a mini mart only a couple of blocks out of her way. They were bound to have at least the hot chocolate this time of year, and probably the marshmallows too. It would mean a longer trip home, but the thought of nursing a hot cup of cocoa was too pleasant to ignore. She left the library steps and headed in the direction of the mini mart.

Once she left the campus, the streets became more or less deserted. It was actually nice and peaceful, if a little cold. She wrapped her coat tightly around her, wondering if she should re-think her decision. Maybe she should just go home and ask Lissa to drive her over to the store. But no, she thought it might be fun to surprise all of her roommates by making them hot chocolate. So she trudged on to the store.

It was nice and warm inside, so she took her time browsing through the aisles, hoping not to find her targets too quickly. The hot chocolate was right up front, but fortunately she had to scan the aisles twice for the marshmallows, which were sitting on a shelf way in the back. Her usual hot drink of choice was tea, but tonight for some reason she craved a hot cup of cocoa. Part of that was that Lissa didn't usually drink tea, and the whole point was to have a bonding experience with her roommate. She paid for the groceries, then with her newfound treasures she marched back out into the cold.

Now she had no other obstacles in her way. She could go home satisfied that she had accomplished her goal. She could almost taste the cocoa already.

A couple of blocks from the store, she noticed a young couple kissing in the front seat of a parked car. She grinned, finding the scene rather amusing. Well, it was really none of her business, and she was getting cold, so she slipped quietly past them.

"Oh, Matt!" she heard the woman moan.

Alya's eyes suddenly went back to the couple making out in the car. It couldn't be! Hesitantly, she approached for a better look. It was the same brown hair, the same gray jacket.

She maneuvered to the front, and suddenly, it was perfectly clear. The boy was Matt!

Angrily, she approached the car, then knocked on the window. Matt turned around. When he saw her, his eyes grew wide with astonishment. The girl looked surprised as well, though she was someone Alya had never met before.

As Matt rolled down the window, his surprise turned to fear.

"Oh my god!" he exclaimed. "I just..."

Then Alya did something that surprised even herself. She laughed. Lissa had been right all along about him. By sowing that seed of doubt, she had forced Alya to consider the possibility that Matt would be unfaithful to her. She had wondered what she would do in this situation, and now that it happened, she realized that she had thought about it so much that it seemed perfectly natural to her. Of course Matt was going to be unfaithful! That was just his character. Alya didn't need someone like that in her life.

"Who the hell are you?" the girl demanded.

"You don't want to know my name," Alya replied, "and I don't want to know yours. I just think you ought to know that Matt's been sleeping with me. Goodbye, Matt. Don't bother calling."

Without even waiting to see the result of her words, she turned and walked away, leaving Matt behind forever.

She felt no sadness, no remorse, no regret. In fact, she felt more free than she had since she started dating him. Up till now, there had always been that specter looming there, the thought that maybe, just maybe, he would cheat on her. It was always a nagging doubt in the back of her mind. Ironically, now that it had proven true, now that there was no more doubt, it freed her from the worry.

Lissa had warned her about this. Lissa, her wonderful, sweet roommate, had wanted so much to spare her from the anguish. But the funny thing was that there was no anguish! As she thought about it, she realized it was because her relationship with Matt had been mostly physical. Sure she enjoyed the sex, but it couldn't take the place of a deeper, more emotional relationship. Hell, at that moment she thought she could give up sex entirely as long as she had good friends like Lissa around. She found that she wanted to be near her, to talk to her, maybe to hug her and feel her strength.

Alya smiled as she walked home to her apartment. She couldn't wait to tell Lissa about what happened.

Lissa was sitting on the couch with a textbook in her hands when Alya entered. Alya dropped her bag in the entryway, sat down next to Lissa and threw her arms around her, catching her off guard.

"What's this for?" asked Lissa, though she had to admit it felt nice.

"Oh, thank you!" said Alya. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"You're welcome, you're welcome, you're welcome, you're welcome," Lissa replied, laughing.

Alya let her go, but left one arm around her shoulders. She wore a friendly smile on her face as she gazed into Lissa's eyes.

"What's going on?" asked Meg from where she sat at the kitchen table.

"Oh, I might as well tell everyone," said Alya. "I caught Matt with another woman."

"That creep!" Meg exclaimed.

"Oh Alya!" said Lissa. "I'm so sorry!"

"Sorry? What for? You were the one who warned me about him. And you know what? It's okay. You'll be happy to know that it doesn't bother me a bit. Isn't that what you wanted? To spare me from the pain?"

"I still feel bad about this whole thing."

"Well, it's over now, and there's no use crying over it."

"No, but there are other things we can do," said Meg. "For instance, the term 'lynch mob' comes to mind."

"Don't worry about Matt. When I caught him with that girl, I told her he's been sleeping with me. So now it looks like he's lost both his girlfriends in one night. That's a suitable punishment, don't you think?"

"Yeah, but a guy like him probably has two or three spares lying around somewhere."

"Well, he can do what he wants now, since I've given up all claim to him."

"Oh, come on," said Meg. "You two both know where he sleeps, don't you? Why not take advantage of the fact?"

"Meg, this is Alya's decision to make," said Lissa. "If she's willing to let things be, then I think we can do the same."

"Oh, all right. But you two are no fun."

"Thanks, Meg," Alya told her. "But it's over, and there's nothing more to be said about it. Besides, I bought some hot chocolate to make for you guys, and I'll be damned if he's going to spoil my evening."

Meg laughed. "Who needs a boyfriend if you can have hot chocolate, right? Not that there would be any competition in my case."

Alya got up and skipped into the kitchen to put some milk on the stove. Monique happened to be out of town, which meant there were only three of them to share the bounty. Five minutes later the girls all crowded into the kitchen to fill their mugs with steaming hot milk and stir in the cocoa powder. Then they returned to the living room to sit and talk. Alya went to her room to retrieve a blanket to wrap around her, and Lissa thought it was such a good idea that she did the same. Not wanting to be left out, Meg grabbed her own blanket, and the three of them sat and talked, all bundled up.

Lissa felt bad for Alya, but also for herself. Now she wouldn't get the chance to destroy the relationship. Alya was taking it rather well, all things considered, and Lissa felt happy for her. She had discarded Matt and moved on with her life, and it looked like she didn't feel the same pain that Lissa had.

In a way, Lissa was jealous. She wished she had had as easy a time getting over the relationship as Alya had. She wished someone had warned her what Matt was like so that she could have been prepared for it. But instead she had been left exposed, naked, and vulnerable before the awful truth.

That didn't mean she would have preferred to have Alya go through the same thing. Alya didn't deserve that. Even the new Lissa wouldn't have wished that on her roommate. Certainly it would have made her job easier; a girl who was hurting inside was much more easy to take advantage of. But it didn't change the fact that Lissa still had to go through with this.

They continued to talk for over three hours, about subjects ranging from world history classes to the pros and cons of fruit-flavored shampoos, to the finer details of bicycle maintenance. They talked of their families, of past relationships, and of their favorite movie stars. Not surprisingly, Meg's were all female. They teased Lissa about being a spoiled rich girl, Meg about liking women, and Alya about being a nerd. They even joked about Monique being French, even though she was not there to defend herself. Not once did the topic of Matt come up again in the conversation; Alya didn't seem to want to talk to him, and out of respect for her feelings Lissa and Meg didn't either.

As the evening wore on and the conversation wound down, Alya said she was getting sleepy and wanted to go to bed early. Lissa figured that was a sign that she wanted to be alone, so she and Meg headed back to their bedroom, each plopping down on their respective beds.

"So that's it, then," said Meg.

"That's what?" asked Lissa.

"Alya's broken up with Matt. Isn't that what you wanted?"

Lissa sighed. "What I wanted was to be the one to break them up. So now I'll have to scratch that part of the plan."

"What do you mean? Isn't the whole plan scratched?"

Lissa shook her head. "Alya's just gotten out of a bad relationship. Another one like that could ruin her. What she needs right now is to get involved with someone who won't do that to her."

"Meaning you."

"Meaning me."

"I'm not sure this is such a good idea any more, Lissa. You know I'd be overjoyed if she came over, but you're playing with her emotions."

"I'm giving her what she needs."

"Bullshit. You saw her. She wasn't crying, she wasn't angry, hell, she acted like she didn't even care. I think that's due to you. You've been a good friend to her, so maybe you should quit while you're ahead."

"Have you ever seen anyone get over a boy that easily? Or a girl for that matter?"

"No, but that's all the more reason--"

"What if she's hurt inside? What if she's putting on a positive face when really she's torn up over him?"

"What if you're just speculating?"

"Why am I trying to justify myself to you, anyway? What business is it of yours?"

"Okay, fine. I don't want to argue over this. Just be careful, for her sake and yours," she said with a tone of finality.

Lissa smiled at her, then reached out and put a friendly hand on hers. "Thanks, Meg, for looking out for us. I appreciate it, I really do." She stood up and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Meg.

"To put into effect the next step of my plan," Lissa explained with a grin.

After the cold evening air, Alya felt nice and comfortable in her bed. She had to admit that she enjoyed having a nice warm body in bed with her, but Matt would never again have that privilege. Sleeping alone actually felt a bit liberating. She sighed and turned onto her side facing the wall, just wanting to sleep.

The door opened, spilling light into the room. Alya turned over and squinted into the brightness. Lissa stood there, framed in the doorway. With the light shining behind her, she looked like an angel.

Lissa closed the door and crossed the room to the bed. Alya was startled to feel the covers being lifted, and Lissa slipping in beside her.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"I thought you needed someone to hold you right now," Lissa replied. "That first night after I caught Matt and you together, I cried myself to sleep. The last thing I wanted was to be alone, but there was no one to comfort me. I was even tempted to ask Meg to climb into bed with me, and damn the consequences. I don't want you to have to be alone tonight."

"I'm fine, Lissa," she said, "Really."

"Maybe you think you are, but what happens at two or three in the morning when no one else is awake and you have only your thoughts and emotions keeping you company? Trust me, Alya. I want to be here for you."

Alya considered. Lissa had been so good to her. Despite the fact that Alya was slightly older than her, Lissa had been like a big sister. As she thought about it, she realized she really did want someone to stay with her tonight, especially someone as kind and loving as Lissa.

"All right," she agreed, then turned over and lay her head down on the pillow. Lissa scooted in next to her, turned to face her, and put an arm around her. Alya had to admit, it did feel good. She could feel Lissa's warm body pressed up against her back and her breath on the back of her neck. It was like a never-ending hug, and Alya felt she needed a hug right now. Just feeling Lissa so close to her, knowing she was there to protect her from her own grief and loneliness, was so peaceful and relaxing. She drifted off to sleep, more content than she had been in a long time.

When she woke up crying at two-thirty, she realized Lissa had been right. Unlike the daytime when she had other things to keep her mind occupied, now in the middle of the night she was laid bare to her emotions. The thought that she had almost fallen in love with Matt both frightened her and saddened her. Overall, there was a deep regret for what could have been. It wasn't that she missed Matt, surprisingly. She had never really trusted him, and so their relationship remained shallow. But she regretted wasting time with him when she could have had a much deeper and more fulfilling relationship with someone who truly cared for her.

Then she felt Lissa's warm body against her back, and she suddenly felt much better. As long as she had good friends like Lissa there for her, she could face anything. She turned over so that she could be face to face with her roommate.

Lissa's eyes opened.

"Oh, I'm sorry," whispered Alya. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's all right," Lissa replied, putting her hand to Alya's cheek. Then, feeling moisture there, she drew it away.

"So I was right after all," said Lissa.

"Yes, you were right after all. I hate Matt for what he did to me, but worse, for what he did to you. You deserve so much better than that, Lissa."

"It's all right," soothed Lissa. "As long as we have each other."

"Thank you so much. I don't know how I could stand this if you weren't here for me."

"Oh, come here, Alya." Lissa rolled over onto her back, pulling Alya over on top of her. For a moment, Alya was shocked; the position had a potentially sexual feel to it. But she pushed that thought from her mind; Lissa wouldn't do something like that to her. It was probably completely innocent. She lowered her head and rested it on Lissa's shoulder. It felt so comforting, like when she had been held this way by her mother as a child. In fact, Lissa was being a surrogate mother to her, which was just what she needed right now. It was so comforting to know that she was there. As Lissa tenderly stroked her hair, the sadness and anger faded into nothingness again, and Alya let herself drop off to sleep once more.