Chapter 66: The Second Betrayal

As soon as she woke up in the morning, she found that she could reflect on the previous night's activities with a clear head. Yes, Meg had broken her trust, but she decided that she wasn't going to let it bother her. Meg had obviously been sorry about what she had done, and that was the important thing. Lissa might have been angrier if it weren't for the fact that she had been touched by a woman like that before. If she had had no prior experience of this kind, it might have been devastating, but in fact, it really hadn't done any harm. Her anger wasn't for the act itself, but more for the fact that Meg had broken her promise.

She turned over and saw Meg awake and staring at her with sadness in her eyes. Both girls sat up. Meg lowered her eyes to the floor, but Lissa gazed at her roommate. It had been a simple lapse of judgment after all, a moment of weakness. And hadn't Lissa had a similar moment of weakness as she had watched the two women? Granted she hadn't actually touched them, but she had fondled her own body.

"Lissa," said Meg, "I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I don't want you to hate me, but I'll understand if you do."

"Meg--" Lissa said, but her roommate cut her off.

"Just hear me out. I've thought a lot about what I'm going to do. I'm going to drive you back today, so you don't have to spend another night here with me. Monique won't be back until Sunday, so I'll sleep in her bed until then. That should give us time to think things through. As soon as we get back, I'll start looking for a new apartment. If I haven't found one by Sunday, I'll sleep on the couch until I do. That way you'll never have to share a room with me again. I'll be out of your life in a few days, and then you won't have to worry about it."

"I don't want you out of my life," Lissa told her.

"What?" asked Meg, her tear-filled eyes raising to Lissa's.

"I'm mad at you for breaking my trust, but I'll get over it. Let's not make this any bigger than it is; you hurt me, but not enough to ruin our friendship."

"But I ... I touched you. I..."

"Violated me?" asked Lissa, and Meg nodded.

"No you didn't. If you remember, I didn't try to stop you until after it was all over. Would you have continued if I had pushed your hand away right at first?"

"No, of course not."

"Then that's it. You did something you shouldn't have, but in a way, I accepted it. Look, I do agree that we should go home today, because I'm still mad at you and I want to spend some time away from you for a while. But that will pass; I just need some time, okay?"

Meg nodded. "I'll drive you home as soon as we're ready."

"It's all right. You don't have to rush things. I want you to have plenty of time to say goodbye to your family. This isn't a punishment, or penance, or anything like that. Let's just leave this afternoon, all right?"

"All right. Lissa ... does this mean you forgive me?"

"I forgive you, Meg."

Meg smiled and came over to her as if to give her a hug, then stopped, looking embarrassed. She turned around and went to her duffel bag to find some clothes to wear.

As Meg headed across the hall to take a shower, Lissa lay back on the cot and stared up at the ceiling. She was still a little angry, but worse than what her roommate had done last night was the change that had come over her. She was no longer the cheerful, flirtatious Meg that Lissa knew so well; this new Meg was serious and perhaps even a bit melancholy.

When her roommate returned, Lissa took her turn in the shower. It helped to relax her and clear her mind and emotions. And it seemed to wash away the lingering memory of Meg's hand between her legs. By the time she was finished, she was in a much better mood. She still felt a little angry, but now the worst seemed to be over and she felt that it would only get better from here.

She met Meg in her bedroom, and then without a word the two of them headed downstairs. Most of the family was already up; only Justin was still sleeping. They gathered around the kitchen table for breakfast.

"Did you two sleep well?" asked Maureen.

"Just fine," replied Lissa, with a smile that she hoped didn't look forced.

"I noticed you locked the door," said Shawn with a grin. "What were you two doing in there?"

"How did you know we locked the door?" Meg snapped.

"Sleepwalking," he shrugged.

"And you happened to sleepwalk right to our door, apparently," Lissa commented.

"Hey, it was your fault!"

"My fault?"

"Yeah, all those naughty things you did to me in my dreams. I couldn't control myself."

"Knock it off, Shawn," said Meg.

"Oh come on. You've still got another night here, so why not take advantage of it?"

"Actually, that's not quite true. Mom and Dad, I hope you don't mind but Lissa and I are going to leave early. We're going to drive back this afternoon."

"What?" asked Doug. "What happened? Did Shawn overdo it? Did he scare Lissa off?"

"No, it wasn't Shawn," Meg replied.

"What, then?"

Meg opened her mouth as if to say something, but then hesitated, as if she wasn't sure what to tell them.

Lissa decided to come to her rescue. "It's my fault," she said. "I've got a big test coming up after the break that I have to study for, and I forgot to bring the book with me. I'm really sorry that I'm taking Meg away from you. I wish I didn't have to do it, but this test could ruin the whole semester if I don't get a good grade. I was in a near panic this morning when I realized I didn't have the book with me."

Meg stared at her with a look of gratitude on her face.

"Oh, that's all right," said Maureen. "I remember my college days. I wouldn't want to stand in the way of someone trying to keep their grades up. Megan, are you all right with it?"

"Sure. I'm going to miss you guys, but it's only a few weeks until Christmas vacation starts, and then I'll get to see you all again."

"Are you going to bring Lissa back at Christmas time?" asked Shawn.

"And give you another chance to try to grope her? Not a chance," laughed Meg.

"Aw, you're no fun."

"Meg, can I talk to you alone for a moment?" asked Carla.

"Sure." The two of them disappeared into the next room.

Lissa sat down to talk with the rest of Meg's family, trying to make it sound like there was nothing wrong. Apparently she did a good job, because the family seemed to enjoy her company. Maureen even said she was sad to see her go, which made Lissa feel much better than she had all morning.

Meg and Carla returned from the other room a few minutes later, and Lissa couldn't help notice that Meg looked a little upset and Carla looked angry. She could guess what the two of them had been talking about. But they hid it well, and did nothing to detract from the cheerful atmosphere.

After talking for a while, Meg and Lissa went back upstairs to pack their bags. They didn't speak to each other as they did so, not that Lissa didn't want to; she just couldn't find anything to say. Plus she was still a little hurt from Meg's betrayal, and she thought that if they began to talk, she might say something she would regret.

They ate a light lunch, still not very hungry after the Thanksgiving dinner the day before. The conversation was jovial, but Lissa felt like her part in it was all an act, and suspected that it was the same for Meg. Neither of them felt particularly happy at the moment, and were just keeping up appearances.

Later, the girls carried their bags down from the bedroom and packed them into Meg's car. After a series of hugs with the family which even Lissa joined in, Meg and she climbed into the car and headed toward the highway.

They fell back into their pattern of silence, which Lissa at least felt uncomfortable about. Gone were the laughter and joking and teasing that had prevailed on the trip from the school. Now they simply sat and stared out the window.

"Lissa," said Meg after half an hour of driving. "I wanted to thank you for not telling my parents."

"No need to thank me. It's just as embarrassing for me as it is for you."

"Well, thank you anyway. I just wanted you to know that I appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

Meg opened her mouth as if wanting to say something else, then closed it. Lissa could see that the girl felt bad about what had happened between them last night, but in fact, Lissa felt worse about what was happening between them right now. It was as if they had forgotten how to act around each other.

"I told Carla what I did to you," said Meg after another half an hour.

"And?" asked Lissa, trying to keep her tone neutral.

"She yelled at me."

"I hope I didn't ruin things for you two."

"Oh, don't worry about that. It's just a little lovers' spat, that's all."

"So was she mad at me?"

"Mad at you? Oh, you think she might have suspected you of tempting me? No, that didn't bother her; she doesn't have a problem with me being with other women. She knows about Sandy after all. The reason she yelled at me was for taking advantage of you. When she said you had earned a friend for life, she meant it."

"I'm glad. Not that she yelled at you, but that she sees me as a friend. You can't have too many good friends. You never know when you might lose one."

Meg sniffed, and Lissa wondered if she was about to cry. But she kept it under control.

"Lissa ... was that a jab at me?" she asked.

"What? No, of course not, Meg. Just the opposite. You're still my friend, despite making a mistake like this. I guess I was just worried about this mistake driving a wedge between us, because I don't want to lose your friendship. I apologize if it sounded like I was insulting you."

"Don't apologize. I'm the one who should be apologizing to you."

"Well, I'll accept yours if you accept mine," she said, trying to sound cheerful.

Meg smiled. "Agreed," she said.

After that they fell silent again. It was that same awkward silence, as if they both wanted to say something but neither knew what to say. Lissa found that she missed Meg's teasing and joking. The ride to her house in the car had been fun and carefree, but the ride back so far was dark and gloomy. Lissa just couldn't get over the fact that Meg had betrayed her, but at the same time she felt worse about the fact that it had damaged their relationship. Would things ever be right between them again?

An hour later they passed through a small town, with a couple of restaurants and an ice cream parlor.

"So do you want to get some ice cream?" Meg asked.