Chapter 32: A Change of Attitude

Brit cried out in ecstasy, her body tensing up. Her hips raised right up off of Jeff's lap as her body straightened. She held that position for a few seconds, not even breathing, then finally collapsed back onto him.

"Oh god!" she exclaimed. "What just happened to me?"

Jeff was stunned. Had she really just climaxed, right there? And did she not know what it was? He had a momentary temptation to tease her about it, then realized that that would be too cruel, even for him. She would run to her room crying, and he would feel bad the rest of the day. She might even be mad at him for several days after that, not a pleasant thought. And right now, he felt an unusual closeness to her; the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. So he decided to just be honest and frank with her.

"Looks to me like you just had an orgasm," he told her.

"Really?" she asked. "Is that what it feels like?"

"You mean you've never had one before?"

She shook her head. "I never knew it could feel this good." She lay there panting against his chest for a few more minutes. Jeff didn't know what to do, so he just wrapped his arms around her and held her there in a tender embrace. He remembered his first orgasm, in Rachael's willing mouth. Afterward, he had felt so exhausted he just wanted to lie there forever, and it felt so good to have someone there with him to hold. Though it was a little inappropriate, he felt that Brit deserved the same treatment.

She lay in his arms long enough that he half thought that she had fallen asleep. He had to admit, watching her lie there in his arms was certainly calming. He realized with a bit of yearning that these moments with her were too few. Normally the two of them couldn't stand being in the same room together, but every so often, when they hugged or she slept in his bed for instance, he realized that he really did love her. When she wasn't being bratty, she really was a cute little girl, and it felt so nice to hold her in his arms like this.

No, she was not so little any more. Just a few minutes earlier she had just stopped being a child. If she was capable of having an orgasm, then she had a certain degree of maturity, at least physically if not emotionally. He wondered if this would change things between them, with him realizing that she was growing up.

Brit turned over and lay her head against his shoulder. Jeff's hand instinctively went up and he stroked her hair. She sighed; apparently she liked that.

This reminded him of the times when they were kids and she used to come and crawl into bed with him. Those were the times when he felt closest to her. But there were other times when they were almost at each other's throats. Sometimes he had teased her even to the point of tears. Now he felt a sudden guilt for all those incidents. She was his little sister; he was supposed to protect and watch over her, not hurt her.

"Brit, I'm sorry," he said.

"About what?" she mumbled without opening her eyes or taking her head off his shoulder.

"About teasing you all those times when we were growing up."

"What?" she asked. "What brought that on all of a sudden?"

"I just ... this just reminded me of when you used to sleep with me when we were kids. Remember that?"

"Yeah. I miss those days."

"Me too. You used to do it even after I had spent all day teasing you. I was really mean back then, wasn't I?"

"Still are," she giggled.

"Hey, that's not fair."

"Sorry. I couldn't resist."

Then she lifted up her head and gazed into his eyes. She had a trace of a smile on her lips, and although her eyes were watery, she didn't look sad at all.

"Thanks for being there with me," she said, then gave him a quick peck on the cheek and climbed off of him and headed out of the room.

Still wondering what he should do at this point, he decided to view the rest of the images. Unfortunately, that was the last one of Greg and Lissa together. Allison replaced Lissa and continued to suck him off. Under most circumstances, Jeff would love to see these pictures. But after seeing that last picture with Lissa, and surprisingly, without Brit there to share it with him, the images no longer interested him. He quickly browsed through to the last one, then switched off the computer.

When he ascended the stairs to his room, he could hear the shower going. That was to be expected; Brit had just climaxed in her pants, so it was bound to be a bit messy.

He headed to his bed and plopped down on it, exhausted in his own way. This was more than just a physical exhaustion, it was emotional as well. He couldn't get that picture out of his mind! His own father, who had raised them in a sheltered environment for all their life, had done something sexual with his own daughter. There was a word for that: incest. It was one of those things that people just didn't do, that only existed as fantasies on the Internet. Maybe some people engaged in such acts, but those were perverts who lived a completely different lifestyle. It wasn't something one expected to discover about his own family.

But he couldn't lie to himself. When he saw that image, he had felt no revulsion, only excitement. He himself had those very feelings, and furthermore, he himself had done a few things with Lissa. He had rationalized that away by claiming that they had just been adolescents full of hormones and just learning about sex. Even during that last camping trip, it was still just an experiment. The contact between Lissa and Jeff wasn't even particularly sexual, just intimate. Despite those encounters with her, the truth was that the idea of incest in general sickened him.

But maybe it wasn't so unnatural after all. Maybe it was just the idea of the forbidden so close to home that had aroused him. Maybe it had nothing to do with Lissa at all. He was perfectly happy to admit that he thought Allison was hot, so it was perfectly natural for him to get aroused by those pictures of her leading up to it. So maybe his excitement at the taboo pictures was just a continuation of that, especially with those photos of Allison and Lissa together. Those lesbian scenes were enough to break down his resistance to seeing Lissa like that, so when their father joined in, maybe those feelings weren't so unexpected after all.

And as he thought about it, maybe that was exactly what had happened to Greg on the boat. Perhaps his own feelings followed a similar pattern: first seeing Allison naked, then seeing Lissa naked, then the two of them together.

The warm water of the shower helped to relax Brit so that she could think more clearly. Something had happened to her today that she couldn't ignore. Yesterday she was a child, but today she had begun to grow up.

It wasn't that she didn't know about sex. She at least had a technical understanding of it, even if she had never done it herself. Admittedly, she had been experimenting with giving herself those pleasurable feelings for months now, ever since Crystal had shown her how on that camping trip. She expected to one day complete that journey with a boy, but until now she had never experienced the extreme pleasure of an orgasm.

She wondered why, today, she had finally achieved it. It was especially confusing because she hadn't been physically stimulated to it. Something about the situation had pushed her over the edge. Was it the pictures? Was it Jeff?

She giggled at the thought that her mean older brother had done this to her. After all, they had never gotten along. Why should his presence have anything to do with it?

On the other hand, she had to admit that it had felt nice to sit on his lap, especially after she had climaxed and he wrapped his arms around her. His big, strong arms had encircled her, making her feel safe and protected. For a few minutes at least, she had forgotten all about how terrible he was to her. During that time, the only thing she felt toward him was love. Sometimes Jeff could be so sweet. When he had apologized for all the times he teased her, for instance, she had felt his sincerity and his love. She smiled when she thought of that. Despite the fact that he rarely showed it, she had known all her life that he loved her, but for some reason, right now that knowledge made her feel really good inside.

Jeff loves me! she thought with delight.

That still didn't answer the question as to why she had experienced her first orgasm. Perhaps it had to do with the pictures that they had been looking at. She had felt disgusted most of the way through, but she couldn't deny that it had also aroused her. She had incontrovertible proof of that. When she had seen Lissa and Allison together, something had stirred within her. To think that women actually did those things to each other! Perhaps if she had learned about it any other way, it would have been merely revolting, but to know that her stepmother and her very own big sister had engaged in those acts brought it so close to home that she had been nearly overwhelmed by it. And yet, the sheer horror of the idea had a fascinating aspect to it that thrilled her. It was so intense, so strange, so forbidden, that she couldn't tear her eyes away from the screen.

Then came the next pictures, with her father. It was only the second time that she had seen a cock before; she hadn't even seen pictures of one. She didn't know how her daddy's compared to other men's except that it was about the same size as Jeff's, but she found the sight quite erotic, especially when Allison had begun to play with it. She was mature enough to understand that the two of them naturally had sex, but she hadn't expected to actually see it. Then when Allison had begun to suck him, that had taken her to a new level of excitement. It was no wonder that the images of Lissa and her daddy together had had such a profound effect upon her. In just a few minutes, she had learned about lesbians, oral sex, and incest. Those photos had completely changed her entire concept of sex. Not only was there so much variation to it, but her own family was exploring some of the more extreme aspects. To know that Greg and Lissa had acted so contrary to their natures and done these things had been such a shock that she had been unable to wrap her mind around the concept. Everything she had been taught since she was a child had suddenly shattered, leaving her exposed to the depraved world that was just opening to her, and without that knowledge to anchor her, her basest feelings had taken over, pushing her beyond her ability to withstand. That was what had happened to her, she realized.

She also realized that it could have been much worse. If she had discovered those pictures alone, without Jeff there to soften the blow, she might have been tormented by them. She could imagine herself, curled up on her bed crying at the horror. It would have been as if she had been violated, although emotionally rather than physically. All of her beliefs, her ideas of sex, even her concept of right and wrong, would have been violently torn from her. Only Jeff had spared her from that.

Because he loves me! she thought again with a warm internal glow. He had been there for her when she needed him most, and no matter how much they teased each other, she realized that she was glad he had helped her take her first steps into the world of sex. It was just too bad that he couldn't stay with her to the end of that journey, because right now she didn't want to follow that path with anyone else. Unfortunately, that was every bit as bad as what her daddy and Lissa had done, though for some reason it didn't disgust her in the same way.

By now she felt much cleaner, so she turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, reaching for a towel. She felt an urge to stay naked, to just go and lie down on her bed without her clothes on. It seemed a shame to cover herself, but she knew she had to talk to Jeff. There were too many thoughts running through her mind right now, and she knew that only he could help her sort them out.

Jeff was lying on his bed when Brit knocked on the bathroom door. He hadn't heard the shower turn off, but with his thoughts so confused, that was to be expected.

He told her to come in, which she did. She wore only a towel, and her long, golden locks hung down straight and damp from her head. Seeing her like this was nothing unusual; sometimes after she showered she would open the door to his bedroom first before heading into her own bedroom to change. But this seemed different somehow, probably because now he realized that she was a sexual being. She had just proven it a few minutes ago, after all. In truth, she looked downright sexy.

She came and sat on his bed next to him. Without thinking, he put his arm around her waist. Though it was an innocent gesture, it wasn't the type of thing he was used to doing.

Brit didn't seem to mind at all, but leaned in and lay her head down on his shoulder. "I wanted to thank you again," she told him. "I don't suppose many girls are fortunate enough to have their big brother with them the first time they ... you know," she giggled.

"Probably not," laughed Jeff, realizing just how absurd the situation was in hindsight.

"You're not going to tell anyone, are you?" she asked.

"What, that you're growing up? It happens to everyone."

"But not like this."

"No, not like this," he agreed. "But don't worry. Even if I wanted to tell somebody, I couldn't without revealing that I saw those pictures. And I don't think that's something I'll ever do."

"Me neither."

"I know. Those were private photos, and we really shouldn't have looked at them."

"Jeff, did it bother you that I ... well..."

"Bother me? No, not really. It just means that I know you're not a little girl any more. Maybe I'm just a little sad because you really were the cutest little girl, but now that's all over."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Brit. It's all a part of growing up. And in case you're feeling embarrassed that this happened in front of me, don't be. I suppose I should feel awkward about it, but I don't."

"So it doesn't bother you that it happened while I was looking at those pictures of Dad and Lissa?"

"Does it bother you?" he asked.

"Well, no. Not really. I guess it just happened because the whole thing was so overwhelming. I'm just glad you were there to explain things to me."