Chapter 12: A New Experience For Lissa

Jeff woke surprisingly early in the morning, considering his exhaustion from his first sexual experience. Rachael, though, wasn't far behind. They lay there under the covers together for a few minutes, then she grudgingly climbed out of the bed.

"I'd better go get some clothes on before your sister wakes up. I'd hate to have to explain to her why I'm up here and my clothes are all downstairs."

Jeff laughed. She had a point. Rachael quietly slipped out the door, blowing him a kiss before closing it behind her.

He got up and headed for the bathroom for a quick shower, then dressed and headed downstairs. He found Rachael sitting on the couch, dressed in a tee-shirt and shorts. He sat down beside her, and she put an arm around him as she nuzzled him affectionately.

She continued to hang all over him when they went in to breakfast. He enjoyed the attention, especially with someone as beautiful as Rachael.

Once Brit woke up, Rachael's attitude completely changed. She was still friendly and cheerful, but no longer did she fawn over Jeff. She adopted a more respectable demeanor so as not to give Brit any hints that anything had gone on between Jeff and Rachael.

Jeff didn't mind; while he certainly enjoyed Rachael's attention, he was understandably tired. In fact, he was a little worried that Rachael would want to repeat the activities that night. Jeff didn't think he had the energy to perform again.

He took her aside into a different room that morning, and asked her about it. She kissed him on the cheek and told him that it was all right. She understood she could be quite draining on a man (or a woman, she added with a wink), especially since it had been Jeff's first time.

They spent the rest of the morning playing various games. Even without the "special" activities, she was a great babysitter. The three of them had a lot of fun together, and Jeff and Brit almost forgot to annoy each other. Their teasing remained at a minimum.

That afternoon, the three of them climbed into the car and went to pick up Lissa from her party. After returning home, Lissa took a nap for a couple of hours, since she had stayed up late with the rest of the girls and not gotten much sleep.

That evening, Jeff decided to go to bed early, since he hadn't had much more sleep than Lissa. It was ironic; the first chance he got to stay up as long as he wanted, he was in bed by 9:00. Rachael came in to "tuck him in," and gave him a long, deep, open-mouthed kiss. Then she left him there, and he fell immediately to sleep.

Brit wanted to stay up later, but Rachael had made a promise, so she made sure Brit went to bed at the same time. That left Lissa, who also decided to go to bed right away. She first wanted to take a shower, so she went to her room, stripped off her clothes, and entered the bathroom.

After the long day, the hot water felt good. It really helped her to relax so much that she almost fell asleep right on her feet. She spent a few minutes enjoying the shower, then turned off the water and dried herself off.

Lissa wrapped a towel around herself and stepped out of the bathroom. She was surprised to see Rachael sitting on her bed. The girl was dressed in a thin tee-shirt and panties.

"What are you doing in my room?" Lissa asked.

"I wanted to talk with you, if you don't mind," replied Rachael. "I spent all yesterday and today with Jeff and Brit, but I haven't had a chance to get to know you yet."

"Next time, knock first."

"I did, but you didn't answer because you were in the shower. I just didn't want to wait downstairs."

"But I might have come out of the bathroom naked."

"I don't mind. Look, I'm sorry for invading your privacy. I didn't realize you were going to get angry about it, or I would have waited. I really don't want you to be mad at me. Forgive me?"

She sounded so sincere that Lissa decided just to drop the whole thing. "Okay, I forgive you," she replied, then strode over and sat down on the bed next to her.

"My sister told me you were the only one hesitant about her marrying your father," Rachael commented.

"Yeah, I suppose it's because I saw her as too perfect. Sometimes I wonder if she's even human. I mean, she's beautiful, she's smart, she's nice, and she's got a great sense of humor. Any flaws she has, she hides very well."

"So what made you change your mind?"

Lissa stared at Rachael for a second. Did she dare tell her? What if she revealed something that Rachael didn't know about already? She decided to find out first.

"Rachael, do you know why Allison lost her job?" she asked.

"For having sex with one of her students."

Lissa sighed. "Okay, so you do know. Good. Well, Allison confessed that to me. So once I saw that she does occasionally make mistakes, that made her seem more real to me, and not just a fantasy."

"So you fantasize about Allison?"

"No!" Lissa said, growing red. "I didn't mean it like that!"

"I know," Rachael laughed. "I just couldn't resist. But at any rate, it sounds like you've put her on a pedestal, which isn't too surprising. It was a little hard growing up with her, since she was so perfect. Everyone always compared me to her, and you can guess the result."

"That must have been frustrating."

Rachael stretched and yawned, then lay back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. "I got really jealous sometimes, always being second best. I went through a stage where I hated her. Fortunately that only lasted a couple of months."

"I'm sorry, Rachael."

"For what?"

"I'm just sorry that it was so painful for you growing up."

"Thanks. I appreciate your sympathy, but there's no need, really. Do you know what ended my hatred finally?"

"What?"

"Allison did. One day after I blew up at her and ran to my room crying, she came to talk to me. I was shocked to see tears in her own eyes. It was the first time I had ever seen her cry. As it turned out, she had been suffering right along with me. She hated to see me upset, so every time I got mad at her, it really bothered her. So after I told her what was wrong, she hugged me for a while. You might have noticed, Allison's really nice to hug."

"I suppose so. Jeff seems to think so," Lissa smiled.

"I'm not surprised. So we just hugged each other for a long time. Then she kissed me on the forehead. I remember that so well. And then..." Rachael suddenly stopped. She closed her eyes and sighed, a tiny smile on her lips.

"What?" asked Lissa.

Rachael opened her eyes again. "I don't think I should tell you the rest," she said.

"Why not?"

"Lissa, how open-minded are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you open to new experiences? New sensations?"

"I'm not sure what you're getting at."

"Allison's talked about you quite a lot. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I have some suspicions about you."

"What kind of suspicions?" asked Lissa defensively.

"First, am I right in assuming that you're the mature one in this family?"

Lissa laughed. "It's not hard to be more mature than Jeff or Brit."

"I know, but I think that ever since your mother left, you've had to grow up too fast. The truth is that I suspect that you're missing your teenage years."

"I am not!" Lissa insisted, but it was more a reflexive response to what she considered to be an insult. In fact, she had thought the same thing several times.

"I'm sorry," said Rachael. "I didn't mean to offend you. I just meant that you act much more like an adult than is perhaps healthy for a girl your age. Other girls are out chasing boys, but you're here being a surrogate mother to Jeff and Brit."

"What are you talking about? They already have a stepmother. Why do they need me?"

"Do you really see Allison as a mother figure?"

"Well ... no, not really."

"Maybe you don't realize it, but in the absence of a mother, you've taken on that role because you're the oldest girl in the house other than Allison. Your siblings trust you. They love you. I think that's great for them, but in my opinion it's not good for you."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, for instance, when is the last time you went out on a date?"

"There's nothing wrong with me not dating right now," said Lissa, still defensive. "I'm only sixteen, and I've got an after-school job, so I really don't have much time." But deep down inside, she realized that Rachael was getting a little too close to the truth. In fact, she had gotten a job partly so that she had an excuse not to go out. There would be plenty of time for that later, she had decided, but now with Rachael confronting her about it, she felt self-conscious about it.

"A girl with your face and body could have your pick of any boy in the school," Rachael commented. "A good portion of the girls, too."

"That's gross!" Lissa exclaimed.

"I'm just saying there are a lot more lesbians than care to admit it. I'll bet a lot of girls steal glances at you in the P.E. shower room."

"Shut up!" Lissa snapped, growing red.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you. My point is, you've built this shell around yourself, keeping yourself away from everyone else."

Now Lissa was getting mad. Rachael didn't even know her, and she was making all these assumptions. "How do you know?" she demanded.

"I told you, Allison's talked to me about you. She adores you, did you know that?"

Lissa's astonishment suddenly overcame her anger. "Allison ... adores me?" she stammered.

"Absolutely," Rachael smiled. "She told me she was hesitant about going through with her plan to marry a rich millionaire at first, but after spending time with you, she lost all of her fears, and decided that she wanted to be a part of your family. Not Jeff's, not Brit's, not even Greg's, but yours."

"But why me? I'm nothing special."

"Wrong. You're the only woman in this family that could talk to her as an equal. She's never gotten used to the idea of being an adult, so in some ways she's pretty childish. And you are very mature for your age, sometimes even more mature than she is. That puts you at least at her level."

"I'm nowhere near Allison's level."

"She seems to think so, and that's what she loves so much about you. You may not realize this, but she told me you're her best friend."

Lissa couldn't help but smile with pride. Allison, the most perfect woman in the whole world, actually thought of her as her best friend.

"Personally, I think it's wonderful," continued Rachael. "I'm happy for Allison, and I'm happy for you, although I'll admit I'm a little jealous."

"Jealous?" asked Lissa.

"I'm her baby sister," Rachael explained. "But now there's someone she likes even more than she likes me."

Lissa didn't know what to think. Her emotions had been tossed back and forth throughout the conversation. She had been embarrassed, angry, surprised, and proud all in the space of about two minutes. Now, looking at the girl, she felt pity for her. It was true that Rachael was Allison's little sister, and now Lissa had, in a sense, come between them. She could understand the girl's jealousy; Lissa had a little sister that she loved too.

"I'm sorry, Rachael," she said. "I didn't mean to--"

"Oh, don't worry. It's all right," Rachael smiled. She sat up again. "These things happen when people grow up. Allison is a different person than she was six years ago, and so am I. You know what? That's okay. It doesn't mean we love each other any less."

Lissa nodded, happy that Rachael was taking it so well.

"If it's okay with you," said Rachael, "I'd like to be your friend too."

Lissa could feel the sincerity in her words, and she decided that despite being angry at her earlier, she appreciated the girl's honesty and openness. Rachael was much like Allison in that respect. Impulsively, Lissa threw her arms around Rachael in a hug.

"Of course you can be my friend," she told her. "You're right; I've built a wall around myself, and so I don't have many friends, so anyone willing to put forth the effort is very welcome."

After they drew apart, Rachael asked, "So now that we're friends, can I give you a little constructive criticism?"

"Sure," Lissa smiled.

"First, the psychological evaluation. In Dr. Rachael's opinion," she said, and Lissa laughed, "you've gotten too comfortable in your role as the mature one, and you haven't yet learned that maturity doesn't mean you can't have fun. You're afraid to go out on dates, or even to talk to boys, because you might, heaven forbid, enjoy yourself."

"Hey, that's not really fair."

"Lissa, can you tell me honestly that you know how to enjoy yourself?"

"Of course I do. For example, I enjoyed myself over at my friend's house this weekend."

"Tell me something, Lissa. What was the first thing you thought of when she invited you over?"

"I don't know."

"Think."

"Okay, I almost said no. It was my first time sleeping over at someone else's house, and I was a little afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"I don't know," she said again.

"I do. You're afraid of trying new things. That's your biggest problem. You see adults as people who have settled down into a particular lifestyle, who don't have time for fun. Maturity, to you, is to accept your place in the world and never vary from your routine."

"That's pretty harsh, Rachael," said Lissa, but at the same time, she wondered if it were really true. Had she really forgotten how to have fun because she thought it was incompatible with maturity?

"Since we're friends now," Rachael told her, "I'm not going to lie to you. I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but that's just how I see you. Look, I want to help you, Lissa. You don't have to stop enjoying yourself just because you're growing up."

Lissa sighed. There was a certain logic to that. Maybe Rachael could actually help her there. "Okay, so what does 'Dr. Rachael' recommend?" she asked.

"Do you want my honest opinion?"

"Yes."

"Okay. You need to do something completely out of character, something completely spontaneous, something wild and reckless, without worrying about the consequences."

Lissa nodded. It made perfect sense. The best way for Lissa to overcome her fears was to confront them directly. She really did need to do something different. The only question was what?

"Wild and reckless," Lissa repeated. "You mean like skydiving?"

"That would work, but it's not exactly something you can do spontaneously. You have to plan it, usually weeks in advance."

"So what do you suggest?"

"Since relationships are your problem, I think that's where we need to focus our attention. Here's an idea. Find the cutest guy in the school, go up to him, and ask him to have sex with you."

Lissa's eyes opened wide with astonishment. "Oh my god, Rachael! That's ... I mean ... I couldn't do that." The idea was terrifying, but at the same time, she recognized that that was partly because of her conservative upbringing, and partly because of her fear of having fun. The more she thought about it, the more she came to realize that it was just the thing to help her. But her inhibitions were too powerful; she could never bring herself to do that.

"Why not?" asked Rachael.

"Well for one thing, I can't just go around having sex with strangers."

"One of your friends then."

"I don't have any male friends." That was true, but it had never really bothered her until now. Suddenly, however, she felt like it was some kind of failing on her part.

Lissa was completely unprepared for Rachael's next comment. "What about Jeff?" she asked. "I'm sure he'd be happy to oblige you."

Lissa began to grow red. It wasn't that the suggestion abhorred her; she had been fantasizing about that very thing for months now, and had even taken a few steps in that direction. But to have someone actually come out and say it...

"That's disgusting," she said to cover her embarrassment and excitement. "He's my brother."

"So you know he loves you. Much better than a stranger, wouldn't you say?"

"But that's just ... wrong."

Rachael shrugged. "That's what most people claim, but I've never put much stock in the opinions of others. Unless you can give me a good, logical reason why it's wrong, I'm not convinced."

"I can't give you a good, logical reason, and I'm not going to try," Lissa told her. "You can believe whatever you want. But we're talking about me here, not you. And I happen to believe that it's wrong."

"All right, I'll concede that point. But that means it will have to be someone else."

"I don't know, Rachael. Whoever it is, I could get pregnant."

Rachael shrugged. "Good point. Of course, there's a simple solution to that problems."

"What?"

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" asked Rachael. "I mean, it might make you even more uncomfortable than you are right now."

Lissa considered. She was growing embarrassed again, but on the other hand, she really did want to know how to overcome her fear of trying new things. "Just tell me," she said.

"Ask one of your girlfriends to do it," smiled Rachael.

If Lissa was shocked before, she was doubly so now. The thought of actually doing that with another girl was horrifying! And yet at the same time, it would certainly qualify as a new experience.

"I can't believe you just said that, Rachael," she breathed.

"Now that I think of it, that's absolutely perfect," Rachael continued, ignoring Lissa's last comment. "For a straight girl like you, a little lesbian sex would be the best thing to break you out of your shell. You have no idea how liberating it is until you try it."

That sounded suspiciously like Rachael knew that from first-hand experience! "So ... have you done that before?" Lissa asked, hesitantly.

Rachael stared at her for a second, as if trying to decide whether to answer her. "You know what we were talking about earlier, about Allison and me coming to an understanding?" she finally asked.

"Yes."

"After she kissed me on the forehead, she kissed me again. This time on the lips."

Lissa gasped. The mental image was so dirty, yet the forbidden nature of it also thrilled her. She had no idea that two sisters would ever do something like that together.

"You're not serious!" she breathed.

"Yes I am. We kissed, then we took our clothes off, lay down on the bed, and made love. That was when I decided to stop hating her, because no matter how perfect she was, by giving herself to me she was in a sense sharing that perfection. It was my first sexual experience by the way, with a boy or a girl."

"I don't know if I want to hear any more."

"Don't worry, that's really all there is to tell. I was thirteen, she was eighteen. A few months later she went off to college, so we didn't have much chance after that to continue our relationship. She made me a promise, however, because she didn't want me to feel like she was abandoning me."

"What kind of promise?"

"She promised that she would share all of her lovers with me."

"She what?"

"Allison refuses to get into any kind of intimate relationship unless I'm involved."

"So did you ... get involved with that guy on the video?"

"Him? Actually he was my boyfriend first. I think he was using me to get to Allison, not that I really minded, since she would have just shared him anyway. The three of us would probably still be together if it weren't for the fact that he betrayed her by making that video. That's something I can never forgive."

Lissa suddenly had another thought, one that was frightening in its implications.

"What about ... Dad?" she asked.

Rachael, however, had no qualms about answering the question. "She hasn't worked up the courage to ask him yet. You see, your dad's a bit of a problem because he's more conservative than most of her previous lovers, and she's so afraid of offending him, because she's terrified of losing this family. But one day she'll find a way to ask him. Maybe sooner rather than later," Rachael added with a wink.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Lissa.

Rachael laughed. "Just that I'm not driving back until Monday morning. And your dad and my sister get back from their trip on Sunday night."

"You don't mean..."

"I do."

"So you would actually ... seduce my dad?"

"He's quite a handsome man, considering his age. Your whole family is good-looking. You're beautiful, Jeff is so gorgeous I can't stand it, and even Brit looks like she's going to turn into a real knockout in a couple of years. So to answer your question, yes. I would love to seduce him. But he's not who we're talking about here. We're talking about you."

"Me?"

"Yes. I told you my idea for helping you come out of your shell. So what do you think?"

"You mean you think I should actually make love to another girl?"

"Exactly."

"I don't know ... It sounds so--"

"Before you start throwing adjectives around, keep in mind, that's the whole point. You need to do something that is abhorrent to you just so that you can discover that it's not as bad as you think. You might even enjoy it."

"I'm still not convinced. For one thing, I don't know if any of my friends are gay, so I wouldn't know who to ask."

"That does present a bit of a problem. I wonder..."

Then she stared at Lissa. Lissa couldn't read the expression in her eyes.

"There's one thing we could do..." Rachael said. "I'm almost hesitant to bring it up."

"What is it?"

"No, I'd better not."

"What are you talking about?"

"Just forget it, Lissa. It was just a fleeting thought."

"Now you've got me curious."

"Okay, but you have to promise not to get mad."

"I promise."

Rachael sighed. "If your problem is that you can't find a girl who would be willing to do this with you, it seems there's a simple solution right before you."

"What do you mean?"

Rachael grinned. "I mean, it's literally right before you."

Lissa stared at her in puzzlement for a second. Then she opened her eyes wide and gasped. "You?" she asked, astonished.

"I'd be happy to help you out like this. Hell, I'd love every minute of it. What do you say?"

"But I'm not--"

"Exactly! That's the point. It's because you're not a lesbian that you should do this."

Lissa shivered. Despite how horrible the thought was, there was something enticing about the woman's offer. Lissa did want to learn to open up, to break out of her shell and have fun. She knew that her reserved, conservative nature was holding her back. Even her disgust at the idea of doing those strange and creepy things with Rachael was a part of that weakness.

"You're not doing this because you want..." Lissa began, but couldn't make herself finish the sentence.

"Well, I'll admit that it's not only for your benefit," Rachael smiled. "To tell you the truth, I find you very attractive. If the roles were reversed and you were to make the same offer to me, I would accept in an instant."

Lissa blushed, embarrassed but also flattered by Rachael's words. She had never been one to take compliments well, and considering the implications, she was surprised she wasn't completely mortified. But Rachael was very friendly and she seemed sincere.