Chapter 5

Jennifer spent the next several days after speaking with Mike in agonizing confusion. Could Mike have been right? Did she actually WANT her son ... want him sexually? It couldn't be true. But try as she might, she couldn't shake the idea.

The counselor was certainly right that her behaviors of late were very sexual, and directed toward Ryan. How could she figure it out? What if she really did want to sleep with her son ... her teenage son? What would that say about her? What would she do about it? Could she actually act on such desires? And then there was the question of what Ryan wanted. She had at one point entertained the thought that he might want her and thought that was why he was jerking off in her underwear. But his reaction after she made him do it with her had dispelled that idea fairly convincingly.

Jennifer had left panties in his room twice, both of which he returned, perfectly clean and without comment. However, as if things weren't complicated enough, the last pair of panties Jennifer had left in his room had not yet been returned. Was he going to do something with them?

During the time Jennifer was struggling with her own demons, her son was by no means taking recent events lightly. He was pretty sure that, on the day "IT" happened, when he knocked on his mother's door to say goodnight, she had been playing with herself. It took him a minute, but he finally recognized the sounds he had tried to block out that afternoon ... the sounds of his mother's sexual moans and groans.

Ryan couldn't imagine why his mother would possibly want to do ... that ... after what had gone on that afternoon. He went to bed that evening feeling like he would never want to do "IT" again ... in his mother's house or elsewhere.

"I'll just stop it," Ryan thought to himself as he prepared for sleep that night. "I don't care what Mom does. She can do it twice a day for all I care. But I'm stopping. That's the best thing for sure."

And Ryan did stop ... at least for a while. In fact, it wasn't his own desires that brought the thought of self-stimulation back to him. He came home from school after basketball practice a few days later and as usual, went straight to his room. After throwing his book bag on the floor in its usual spot, Ryan flopped onto his bed to recuperate for a few minutes from the grueling practice. When he put his hands behind his head, he slipped one under the pillow to scrunch it up a little. He felt something that he knew didn't belong there. He wondered if it could possibly be what it seemed. The feel of the item was very familiar, but he couldn't have believed it would be there, until he pulled it out and looked at it.

"Oh shit," Ryan whispered aloud, "it is what I thought it was." He held his mother's panties up in front of his face. She clearly had put them there. But why? Ryan began to ponder his situation silently. "What the hell are these doing here? I'm sure these are the panties she caught me with. I put them in the laundry. Why are they back here? I thought she wanted me to STOP using them!"

Ryan remembered that until very recently, a pair of his mother's underwear would be a prize to him ... a prize to be enjoyed, and used. But even though he had flashes of previous encounters with Jennifer's panties and the thrill he felt when he ejaculated in them, Ryan felt no such stirring this time. More than anything he felt anger and frustration. "What the hell is she trying to do to me?"

Ryan didn't hesitate. He took the unwanted undergarment immediately back to his mother's room and placed it on top of her dresser. When Jennifer came home, Ryan had a desire to ask her what she was thinking, putting her underwear in his room. But after all, she was still his mother. He felt awkward and embarrassed, even though the gesture had been hers. So, he didn't mention the incident, figuring she would get the message when she saw the panties had been returned, unused. Nor did Jennifer mention anything, even after she found the panties on her dresser.

Unfortunately for Ryan, his mother repeated her gesture the next day. "She must have done this after I left for school this morning," he thought to himself. This time the panties were left on top of his pillow. "I guess she wanted to be sure I got the message."

Ryan's first instinct was to take the unwanted gift back to his mom's room just as he had done before. Once again he remembered the excitement this garment and others like it from his mother's drawer had brought him. Unlike the day before, Ryan began to get the familiar twitching between his legs which always proceeded a masturbation session.

Ryan brought the panties to his face, as he always did. He loved the feeling of the material as he rubbed it softly against his skin, especially on his lips. Even though the underwear had been washed, Ryan could swear that he could detect a faint hint of female aroma. He had never associated this with his mother in the past ... only to the fact that the aroma belonged to a female. To his surprise, Ryan was for the first time aware that this particular, very exciting smell did in fact belong to his own mom. And rather than feeling repulsed, he felt a new kind of thrill that he had not experienced before. And as a result, his twitching penis began to spring to attention.

"No!" Ryan said aloud. "I cannot do this! No matter how twisted Mom is acting, she's Mom! I'm NOT going to go there!" For several long seconds, Ryan's feet would not move. He wanted to sprint back to Jennifer's room and deposit her underwear on her dresser as he had done the previous day. But his growing erection could not be ignored. "What if I just did it one more time? She's not here. I know she's at work." Ryan held the panties to his face again and drank in the aroma. "Hell, she WANTS me to do it, doesn't she?"

Ryan brought the underwear down his body. He was about to unzip his pants and slip them into his own briefs when he heard the garage door opening. "What the hell is she doing home? Shit!" Feeling a mixture of frustration and relief, Ryan ran to Jennifer's room and put the panties on her dresser once again. After doing so, he felt satisfied that he had returned to sanity. Once again, neither mother nor son mentioned the panties.