Chapter 1: There is No News Like Bad News

"This is the end, Beautiful friend

This is the end, My only friend, the end"

- The End (The Doors)

It struck me harder than any sledgehammer could have. At first I could not really believe what I had heard, but he had no reason to lie. My mouth was dry in fear and I just sat there staring into the wall. I did not stare at the diplomas or photograph on the wall, I just stared. I don't know how long I kept doing it, it could have been a minute or it could have been an hour. When I finally snapped out of it I managed to gather the courage to get confirmation.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"There is no doubt. You could get an second opinion but the results will be the same," the middle aged Doctor answered.

"How long?"

"Six months, perhaps even a year if you receive the proper treatment and live a healthy life style," Dr Gore answered.

"I've always had a healthy lifestyle, but that hardly matters now does it?" I answered trying to make a joke out of it. neither of us found it particularly funny.

"The abdominal pain you are feeling will soon come to pass but in a couple of months the pain will kick in again. This time much worse and after that your condition will deteriorate rapidly. Shortly after that your body will become weaker and you will eventually become bedridden. There are medication that will slow down the process and I will prescribe them. They are quite expensive but your medical insurance will cover them. I will also give you a strong painkillers to keep the pain away," Dr Gore said as he scribbled on a notepad.

"Is there anything I should be thinking of?" I asked trying to keep my composure.

"No, for the next couple of months you can live a perfectly normal life. Just take your pills three times a day and I want to see you once a week for a check up. I will also book a time for you with our counsellor so you can have someone to talk to," Dr Gore said and I simply nodded in reply.

The doctor handed me the prescription and some bottle of pills. After that he looked me in the eyes, shook my hand and said, "Don't worry son. A year is plenty of time to settle your affairs and say your good byes."

I turned around and left Dr. Gores office. I wanted to scream my heart out but I was simply to shook up to do it. I was 21 years old and had just been notified that I was terminally ill. I had six months, perhaps a year to live. I had always lived a healthy and quiet life style, I never drank, I never smoked, I ate healthy food and I did not even have a drivers licence since I thought driving was to dangerous. I always kind of reckoned that I would die of old age.

I started to walk home and started to think what Dr. Gore had said when we parted. That I had plenty of time to settle my affairs and say my good byes. That sentence had hurt me a lot since I had no one to say good bye to. I had always been a bit of a shy recluse and I did not have any friends at all. This was partly my own decision since I liked being alone and felt that I had no need for friend. I had been close with my parents but after they died two years ago in a accident I had hardly spoken to anyone. I spent all my time studying law, getting near perfect grades and hoping to get a good job in the future. That hardly mattered now. In fact nothing in my life mattered any more. Perhaps it was a good thing that this happened to me and nobody else since no one will miss me when I'm gone. I started thinking that I could save the insurance company some money by committing suicide, but I quickly realised that my catholic mother would turn over in her grave if I committed that sin.

I looked up and saw that I was passing a bar and decided that this was a good time to start drinking. I went inside the bar and it was almost empty this time of day. I seated myself on a bar stool and tried to look inconspicuous. I had never had a glass of alcohol in my life, not because of religion or because I was not curious but because it was bad for you. I never did stuff that was bad. My mother had even called me her virtuous angel. Throughout my life I had always lived by the maxim that good things come to those who wait. There were hardly any more reason for me to wait anymore.