Chapter 32

I awoke Tuesday totally refreshed, snuggled between long, tall, big-busted Wanda and Bobby, my biggest love of all. A sneak look at the clock said five fifty-five, so there was only five minutes before I should be getting up. The girls usually wanted to sleep till six fifteen or even six thirty, but I was ready to roll. The thought passed through my head to form some Tai Chi this morning, but I was at peace with myself, so I thought a swim would be the most fun.

I slid from bed, slipped my leg on loosely, and thought about how nice it will be to have the easy on and off peg that was coming. After using the bathroom, I walked to the back door and was ready to slide it open when I noticed a snake lying near the door. I looked closer and saw it was a Florida timber rattler. Shoot, I would need to go around the house to get something to pick it up with to kill it or put it in a garbage can.

I almost left for the garage when I saw another snake over by the hot tub. Son-of-a-gun if that wasn't a rattler too. These weren't babies but adults three to five feet long. Hmmm, it's strange to have two up under the patio at the same time. It was then that I realized I could see at least three more out there. This was too early for them to be out sunning themselves, so someone must have released them in the pool cage very recently. I got out of the doorway, closed the drape, and went in to wake up Bobby and Wanda. I told them to use the bathroom and dress quickly.

I went to Marie's room and woke her and found Jan with her, telling them to get ready for work early.

I slipped on a pair of jeans and my high engineer boots, along with a shirt. As people began showing up in the kitchen, I didn't let them turn on the light and told them why. I had made a pot of coffee, so those who wanted coffee had a cup while I told them what my plan was.

Bobby stopped me, saying, "We didn't turn on the alarm last night but the cameras record on the DVR continuously. I'm going to review everything since last night."

"Check about an hour to two hours ago, first. Snakes look for warmth and they were still crawling around looking for a place when I first saw them. While you do that, I'm going to find something to pick them up with and get a garbage can to put them in."

Not knowing whether whoever it was could have pried the garage door up and released some inside the garage, I went into the area cautiously, looking behind everything to make sure I wouldn't startle a snake. I found a rake and went out the wide back door, also cautiously looking around for any snakes that might have been outside. I didn't see any and shut the door to make sure none slipped in on me. Around the side of the house were our garbage cans, so I took the lid off an empty one and carried it with me into the pool cage.

The nearest snake was just lying stretched out, not in a defensive coil. Using the rake, I scooped it up and while it was wiggling around, I dumped it into the plastic garbage can. There was another crawling along near a chair, so I scooped it up and quickly put it in the can too. I found seven more that were easily seen. Now I had to move stuff to find where they might be hiding. I went around the pool, dragging the garbage can, stopping at anything that could hide a snake. Two more were hiding out around the pool so after picking them up, I felt as if that area was clear. Now for the patio.

I moved everything that could hide a snake and only found one more. Marie was standing at the patio door knocking on it and pointing toward the pool. I turned to look, and son-of-gun, there were at least four visible snakes swimming in the pool. These weren't rattlesnakes but cotton mouth water moccasins. It took me a couple of seconds to figure out that the net for skimming leaves that some how sneak into the caged pool would be the easiest way to catch them.

I thought as I went after the water mocassins, 'Hope the two types of snakes get along as they were going to live together for at least a while.' It took almost thirty minutes to get the total of seven snakes from the pool and the skimmer basket.

I was being really thorough, looking over the patio very closely. About the time I was going to declare the whole place safe, I noticed the hot tub cover was a little crooked. Lifting it up very carefully revealed a squirming mass of snakes. There must have been thirty or forty of them in the tub. With as much caution as possible, I scooped them out of the hot tub into the garbage can.

I took a break to go in and have a cup of coffee. Bobby began telling me what she observed from the security videos. A small van had come up the street to park a hundred feet or so from our driveway. Three men had gotten out of the truck and carried buckets into the pool area. She said the video showed them dumping the snakes into the pool and hot tub, and the last bucket was dumped near our rear patio door. Bobby had made a copy of the DVR recording to have the Bureau enhance the three men's faces and to enlarge the license plate that was caught when they left.

I sent all the girls to work, but I now had a garbage can a quarter full of snakes. To be on the safe side, I put the lid on the can and called the Lowry Park zoo. They said they were not interested in large quantities of snakes, but they gave me the number of a local lab that collected venom for serum.

I called the lab to see if they would pick up the snakes but they said they would accept them if we delivered them in an approved container. I asked them if they could provide an approved container but they could not. I asked if a garbage can would be considered an approved container and their reply was that if the garbage can had been sterilized before its use, it would be suitable.

A long shot was the county animal control department. When I asked if they would come take away a can full of rattlesnakes and cotton mouth water moccasins, they told me that they would come and catch them but were not in the practice of just picking them up.

I called Frank from the Bureau to ask him what he thought I might do with the snakes. After having to explain the entire story to him and that his techs were going to work on the video, he said, "I know you don't like to deal with the local cops but on this one, call the sheriff's office and tell them what happened. They are going to want a copy of the DVR recording, so make one for them and give them a statement. They will then be obligated to take the snakes."

"Come on, Frank, isn't there another way to do this without airing our laundry out to the locals?"

"It is a civil crime, even though this is probably some kind of payback, or an attempt to eliminate you, which would come under your office. Since you're the CMFWIC, you might want to have the locals on your side on this."

"Okay, you got me. What's CMFWIC?"

"Oh, come on, you don't know that one? Chief mother fucker what's in charge."

I had to laugh before saying, "Funny, but accurate in this case. Okay, I'll call a cop. Now that's pretty funny isn't it?"

The phone rang as soon as I hung it up. Bobby was calling to ask me if I saw any round white lids around. She said that the video shows the buckets covered coming in but stacked together open as they left. She then said, "Don't go through the door out there. Don't touch the handle or anything on the patio. I'm sending a CSI team to get prints. The video shows everything they touched. One more thing, Sarg says he thinks he recognizes one of the men and is going over old cases to see if he can remember who it is. Anyway, since I'm in charge of this investigation right now, you stay on premise until the CSI guys get done."

I told her what Frank suggested so I could get rid of the snakes. Bobby advised me, "Not to worry, I'll have the CSI guys take them to the lab you talked to and tell them they have to either take them or the guys will just dump them on the floor. That'll take care of it. I'll call first and tell them they have to take them. You know we'll just have to get in the habit of turning the alarm on. We also have to have a contractor come to give us a price on adding onto the garage. Oh yeah, that's what I wanted to ask you. Did you check inside your car? It's easy enough to open the door. Jan's car was out last night too, but hers has an alarm."

The doorbell rang, so I told Bobby the CSI guys were here and hung up. The men said, "This is the first time we've come to you when there haven't been bodies. You gettin' soft on us now?"

I took them to the patio where they had a list of places to dust for prints. I told them about the can of snakes and they said Bobby had already advised them of the deal. I told them while they did that, I was going to get ready to go in, but first I needed to check my car.

As soon as I got to the car, I could see the passenger door lock was up. This was nuts. A protected vehicle that could withstand gunfire, flames, and even minor explosions, didn't have an alarm. Who would think a police car needed an alarm? When I looked inside the car there was a large rattle snake on the front seat and another on the floor as well as one on the back seat. The rake wasn't going to work here so I went inside and called animal control again. After explaining what my problem was, the operator said she would have someone right out and that I needed to report this to the sheriff's office.

I called Bobby to tell her about the car and animal control. She said, "I don't like that we have to have the sheriff's office in on our business, but you probably should. This is as much a civil matter as it is a Marshal's Office responsibility. It should be fun to write a report for this."

A van marked with Hillsborough County Animal Control parked in the driveway. I asked the two guys if they could wait while I had the car door handle dusted and went to get the CSI guys. They came out and dusted the handle, the top of the door and down the window, lifting several sets of prints that were probably mostly mine.

I told the animal control guys that I had a garbage can full of snakes if they wanted to just add these to it. They said that would be perfect and they would bring the can back later. At least there was a snake disposal resolution.

That reminded me that Monday was garbage pickup day for me, so I grabbed the other two cans and began wheeling them out to the curb. Thinking about it a second, I carefully lifted the lid of the first can to look inside. There was nothing, no snakes. The second was the same. I was getting paranoid over snakes. I went inside to gather up the trash from the other waste baskets shoving it all into the tall kitchen can then taking the bag out to join the two cans by the curb. It was a good thing too, as I could hear the garbage truck on the next block over.

I did my usual triple S as quick as possible. (Shit, Shower, and Shave) and dressed for work, wearing slacks and a knit shirt that I could wear a sport coat with later. Every time I dressed in my fine clothes, I had good thoughts of Metarie from the employment office.

The CSI guys were finishing up and the animal control guys said they thought they had all the snakes from the car. They had even taken the back seat out. I thanked them for hauling all the snakes away. A country sheriff's deputy was holding the lid while looking into the squirming mass of snakes. He asked if I had time for him to make a report and to get a statement. He said he had responded to the call when the house was attacked recently, and he remembered me from some past incidents in the area.

The deputy was the guy who Jonah's barmaid introduced me to as her husband. I don't think he recognized me in dress clothes.

I took the deputy through the house, showing him the patio and where we had found snakes. I took him back inside to the kitchen/family room area and had him sit while I made us coffee real quick. He filled out his report and took a statement as I answered all of his questions. I asked him if he could wait a minute and I would give him a security video of the incident.

I called Bobby and asked if she had made more than one copy of the video. She transferred me to Marie who had made the one this morning. Marie said, "Yes Sir, made several. They are on the shelf under the monitor that doubles for a TV. They are marked 'snakes.'"

The deputy wanted to watch the video, so I put one in the player and punched the button. We watched the fifteen minute video while finishing our coffee.

"That's the best evidence I've ever been able to gather. I'll show this around at the station to see if anyone recognizes these guys. Good luck, but be careful. I know you know how to take care of yourself, but this shows that someone doesn't like you very much."

"Thanks, Deputy, I'll be on my toes. It is a little more difficult to be on alert at home where it's supposed to be safe and cozy. I'll see you at Jonah's again soon, I'm sure."

"That is you, the guy with Millie's sister. I go up there fairly often to keep Denise company. Most of the guys there know I'm a cop, but it doesn't seem to bother them, especially since I got my Heritage. Now I'm one of the gang."

I said, "Yeah, I like Jonah's too. It's a good place to go and seems fairly mellow, if a biker bar can ever be considered mellow."

When everyone was gone, I made a pass through the house, checked the windows and all the doors, turned on the alarm, and left.

I was starved, but it was already past ten thirty, which meant the fast food places weren't serving breakfast sandwiches any more. I would just wait for lunch.

I parked in the garage and asked Hank what it would take to have an alarm put on the car. After telling him the snake story, he said he would have it done by early this afternoon.

Up in my office, Wanda handed me a blank incident report form and told me to make a report since it was an obvious attempt on a deputy or multiple deputies' lives. I wrote the report, noting that the CSI team had gathered evidence and that a security video had been given to the Bureau to enhance and enlarge the subjects and license plate number.

It was just about that time that Jan came in with a young man that she said was going to be assigned to my specific case. She had already introduced Sam Wilson to Bobby, but wanted to have him meet me as well. We chatted for a few minutes before she finally got down to what she wanted. "Chuck, if you haven't been down to the range yet today, would you mind if we went with you. Sam doesn't have a lot of experience, and I thought it would be nice if he could get some first class instruction from you."

"Sure, we'll go down together. But Sam, I have to tell you, Jan is probably a better shot than I am, and would be a better teacher if she would let herself be. Come on, I haven't been on the range in over a week."

Wanda jumped up and said, "I'll tell the girls to watch the store. I need to go down as well."

The range has six stationary positions to fire from, but only two people at a time can do a competition decision course. When the four of us walked in at once, the range officer, Cap, short for Captain of his college football team, smiled big and said, "Looks like Jan got you down here to teach after all. Thought you might be avoiding me down here, but I did hear you have been traveling."

Cap handed out some magazines filled with range loads, and some noise canceling ear muffs. I told Sam to get on one side of me and Wanda to get on the other so I could help either if they needed it.

I watched Sam fumble around with his weapon until I couldn't take it anymore. I asked him to clear the weapon so I could show him a little more about it. We took all of our equipment out to the cleaning table to begin.

"Sam? This is a new weapon right? Have you cleaned and oiled it yet?"

"Shouldn't have to if it's new, should I? Jan was harping about that too."

I had to pause for a deep breath and said, "To begin with, this weapon is a mechanical piece of machinery that needs attention and care. Watch closely while I take your new weapon apart. Sixty seconds later, the Glock was parts on display, not a functional handgun. "Did you watch how the gun came apart?"