Chapter 13

Natalie opened the cottage door at the light knock, she smiled at Laurel, gave Zara a snuggle, then blinked to see the huge puppy pad quietly in "I thought he was going to stay with you for a few days." Alex smiled "Zara said Raimi needed Hell, so here he is." Revanche came out of the bedroom carrying a half empty cup of soup, Zara flew over and gave him a purring crooning hug, Hellhound his tail wagging wildly ran over to Revanche who gave him a quick scratch behind the ears. They all watched Zara and Hellhound head for Raimi's bedroom. Raimi felt a cold wet nose on her ear and opened her eyes to see Hellhound his head resting on the bed his big puppy eyes looking at her, reaching out she touched his head "what are you doing here? I told you to stay with Zara." Zara nuzzled Raimi's neck and purred softly "hell want go home Raimi." Raimi turned tear filled eyes to Zara "he is yours now Zara." Zara shook her little head "no no Hell need's Raimi here" putting her tiny paw on Raimi's chest. Zara gave Raimi a big hatchling lopsided grin "share with Zara." Raimi hugged Zara crying "yes, we'll share Hellhound, he belongs to both of us." Zara patted Raimi's tear covered cheek "all better Raimi" Raimi nodded "where were you going the other night Zara." Zara smiled "Barto Bear" then with a sad wide eyed look "Zara got lost." Raimi smiled "you'll have to have him draw you a map." Laurel seeing Raimi was falling asleep smiled and picked Zara up "we'll come back tomorrow, you just concentrate on getting better, Cook was so sure you were starving she sent a food basket that would feed an army." Raimi chuckled.

Revanche pulled the blankets up over Raimi's shoulder, he glanced at Hellhound curled up on his blanket by the window then down at a sleeping Raimi. Going into the kitchen he sat down with a cup of coffee "why don't you go home mother and get some sleep, you look exhausted." Natalie nodded "I will in a minute, Bitsy is going to come over and stay with Raimi in a little while." Revanche shook his head "I will be here, no need for Bitsy to come over." Natalie sighed "she wants to come over and help, I guess what we're doing is trying to assuage our guilt feelings, your Grandfather was right about Bitsy and I, we were upset with Raimi for hurting you, we also thought you had gone back to London to get away from her, so we started giving her the cold shoulder. I'm am so ashamed, I saw past history flashing in front of my face and was shocked at myself. It's a devastating thing to lose a child, even one you didn't know existed, it's still a part of you that's gone forever." Revanche saw the tears in his mother's eyes, reaching out he squeezed her hands trying not to think of having lost his own little warrior hatchling "we'll get past this mother, Raimi is a strong woman and right now if she needs to just let that go, then I think I have enough for both of us, I've learned a lot about myself over the last few months, some it good, some of it bad, but at least I'm looking with wide open eyes. I love you mother, no one ever expected you to be perfect or infallible, even mothers are people that make mistakes" he stood up and gave his mother a hug then went back to Raimi's bedroom.

Zara lay in her bed looking out the windows, the sky was so dark the stars looked like twinkling crystal lights, she knew she should be sleeping, her mama having tucked her in hours earlier, nibbling on a tiny talon she thought and thought. Nedra lay on a long padded bench purring deeply as the young male rubbed scented oils onto her back, his talented fingers rubbing and soothing each muscle, she arched an eyebrow to see the new very young door poppet come rushing in and kneel next to the bench "one must never rush my sweet poppet, but walk in head held high with a confidence, one does not drop to ones knee but flows gracefully down" the young girl bowed her head "forgive me Mistress, but there is a tiny dragon outside the door asking for Nedra." Nedra sat up with a hiss, she sent the nude male and the other's from the room "open the door for the little one before she leaves" the young girl pulled open the door and stepped back, Zara padded in looking all around, seeing Nedra she let out a little shriek and flew over. Nedra reached out and took Zara in her arms "what are you doing here my ohhhhh sooooo loud bonbon?" Zara purr crooned and nuzzled Nedra "Zara want see Nedra." Nedra smiled "you could simply have called to Nedra my searching one." Zara shook her little head "want talk Nedra." Nedra chuckled "and so you shall." Zara found herself in a large garden filled with green trees, birds singing and butterflies fluttering around, a low table filled with plates of fruits and small goblets of juice and water "tell Nedra what bothers you so my sweet delight." Zara making funny faces as she nibbled on a piece of pineapple looked at Nedra "Nedra gone long long time, miss Nedra." Nedra smiled wiping the pineapple juice off of Zara's little chin "Nedra she tired of mortal follies for a time my sweet sticky one, but she is always there for the ohhhh sooo tiny one." Nedra said silently to Alex "your ooohh soo little one has come to Nedra." Alex who had been staring down at Zara's empty bed wondering where she had gotten herself lost to this time sighed "thank you Nedra, I will be getting a leash soon." Nedra chuckled "this one would simply take the leash with her, I shall return Zara after she has finished telling Nedra why she sought her out." Zara took a sip of apple juice and smiled widely then gave Nedra a sad look "Nedra mad us, Re make Nedra mad." Nedra smiled "Nedra she does not become mad, mad is for dogs and crazed people, Nedra yes was ohh sooo annoyed but only for a moment at the ohhh soooo reserved poppet Revanche, but never was she annoyed with you my sweet delight." Zara put her little sticky paw on Nedra's chest "Zara hurt here when Nedra unhappy." Nedra purred and kissed Zara softly on her little juice covered cheeks then put a fingertip on Zara's tiny chest "what hurts Zara here?" Zara nibbled her little talon thinking, Nedra reached out and took her talon from between her fangs "this is a sign of worry my little delight, what worries Zara?" Zara looked at Nedra with her dark wide eyes sad "Zara small small." Nedra smiled and picked Zara up purring softly as she snuggled her against her chest "but of course you are tiny my sweet delight, this is the specialness of Zara, the wonder of you, your size brings smiles of caring, it brings others a sense of protectiveness, you my tiny delight will always be special not just for your size but for your heart and soul, yes this Nedra knows, never despair of your smallness for even though your dragoness is tiny her heart is big and so shall her human grow to be the right size for Zara." Nedra saw the worry in Zara's eyes and kissed her tiny cheeks "one day your human will come bursting forth my sweet delight to reach out and grasp life and everything around her, but now is a time for Zara the tiny dragoness, your human will know when the time is right." Once again Nedra took Zara's tiny talon from between her fangs "tell Nedra." Nedra listened to Zara thinking and thinking and felt her fear "ohhh little delight, do not feel badly that you could not help Raimi, this was not for you to do, yes it scared you but of course Nedra she knows this, you are much too young to take care of such, it is all a matter of time my sweet delight, learn slowly, there is no rush let Mar and the others ease you into your magic, yes Nedra knows you are an ohhh sooo gifted delight, when you feel frightened or need to talk Nedra she is here." Nedra chuckled watching Zara nibbling at the fruit "would you like Nedra to leave some fruit for you my delight?" Zara grinned and nodded clutching a piece of mango, after Zara had finished with the fruit Nedra gave her a stern look "Zara listen to Nedra carefully, you must not come to Nedra without Nedra's permission and always you must appear at the doors where you came earlier, when Nedra allows it, then you shall come to this garden, one day when you are much older then you shall be allowed to explore with Nedra." Zara nodded with a look of concentration on her tiny face. A short later Nedra handed Zara to her papa "I give to you a freshly bathed sweet delight, Nedra knows sticky paws and bedtime do not mix." Nedra purred softly "sleep well my sweet delight and know Nedra is never far but remember what Nedra said, you must always tell your mama and papa where you are going for they worry ohhh soo much about their Zara" then Nedra was gone. Alex frowned with a sigh "you have to stop doing this Zara, each time I find your bed empty or can't find you it scares me and your mama." Zara nodded with a purr "will tell papa." Alex hugged her tight and put her back to bed with her night night kiss. Alex slipped back into bed and smiled at Laurel mumbling at him from under her pillow "no it's not morning all ready love" pulling her against him he went back to sleep.

Revanche carried Raimi out into the living room, she had given up objecting to being carried around, carefully setting her in the big chair he smiled "we'd like to make some adjustments to the cottage, add a fireplace to the bedroom, make the cottage larger but it will still have the feeling of being this size." He quickly said seeing Raimi was about to object "the dragons can't come inside to see you, that bothers them" chuckling with a smile he said that pacing was not one of Renlock's more pleasant activities, that he was going to wear out the path in front of the cottage. Raimi sighed "go ahead and make the changes you want." Revanche frowned "we don't need to, it was just a suggestion." Raimi shook her head "no I know the changes need to be made" angry to feel the tears Raimi turned her face away. Revanche looked up to see Laurel motioning for him to come to the kitchen, standing up he asked Raimi if she wanted anything from the kitchen. Raimi shook her head, with a smile he told her he thought he could use a cup of coffee and would be right back. Raimi leaned her head back against the chair and closed her eyes. Laurel grabbed Revanche by the sleeve and pulled him to the far side of the kitchen and whispered hurriedly "this is the first home she ever had, you have to include her in the changes, ask her what she wants, what her opinions are, where she would like things added. Physically and emotionally she is trying to recover, someone like Raimi I imagine finds it very difficult to be sitting, to be so weak she shakes when she tries to walk across the room, she's fighting that seeing it as a weakness, a failing, don't make her feel like she has also lost her cottage." Revanche went back into the living room, pulling up a chair next to Raimi's he smiled "I was just reminded that I need to remember to discuss not just jump in and do things, I'm sorry sweetheart, we both know changes need to be made, what would you like to see done." Revanche took a large sheet of paper and a pencil and made a rough sketch of the cottage. Laurel smiled as she peeked around the corner seeing Raimi and Revanche with their heads together making the changes to the cottage that would make Raimi happy but also allow room for the dragons.

Revanche sat on the edge of the pool watching Raimi swim, it had been over a month since she had lost the baby and had not once mentioned it, the pools in the pool room were now larger including an oil pool, the beach room was also much larger, big enough to accommodate a few playing dragons. As she got out of the pool he was pleased to see that she didn't appear as tired as she had the day before, each day she improved, she was now eating again and took walks with Hellhound regularly. Raimi pulled on her heavy dressing gown and thick warm socks, she could feel Revanche watching her, she wanted to scream at him to leave her alone, she wanted to scream at everyone to give her a moments peace, give her time to just be alone. With a sigh she knew she was going to have to say something soon before she lost her temper, she knew she was very close, she had been snapping at everyone for days. Raimi went into the kitchen, Hellhound and Revanche on her heels, she smiled at Natalie then gave her a hug "thank you for all your help Natalie, I appreciate it greatly, but I am well now and able to take care of myself, you need to go home, I don't want to hurt your feelings but I need some time to myself and I can't find it." Natalie chuckled "I've been waiting for you to toss me out for over a week now." Revanche frowned "do you really think that's such a good idea? Both women looked at him, he held up his hands in defeat "forget I asked." Natalie told Raimi supper was on the table and headed home. Raimi shook her head at Hellhound who was resting his chin on the table gazing at dinner "you have your own supper, go eat it and don't stare at mine." Hellhound gave her a sad sorry look then went to eat his own food. As they ate Raimi set down her fork "Rev, you need to go back to work or go do something, you're driving me crazed always being under foot, I can't turn around without you being there asking me if I'm all right." Revanche frowned "what if something happens? Are you sure you're well enough to be left alone?" Raimi sighed "you know I'm fine, if something happens it happens and I will call for help. Listen to me Rev I know you're late wife had a very terrible long lingering illness before she passed on, but you have to separate the two of us, I was sick, now I'm better, I don't plan on becoming sick again so let it go." Revanche looked down at his now cold dinner then back at Raimi "I know you're not Chloe" he said quietly. Pouring himself a fresh cup of coffee he looked at Raimi. "I know you don't plan on losing another child, that was an accident, when you say you don't plan on becoming sick again, what exactly do you mean by that? You don't want children?" Raimi stood up and started scraping her uneaten dinner into Hellhounds bowl, Revanche waited for her to answer him "Raimi?" Raimi throwing her plate into the sink turned "it was no accident, I killed the child plain and simple, with my pride and stupidity, I won't ever let that happen again." Standing up Revanche went to Raimi and whirled her around to face him "what the hell are you talking about?" Raimi her eyes filled with anger and pain her voice angry told him "it was my own fault, I shouldn't have been dragging trees around all day, I shouldn't of tried to get that log inside. I shouldn't have been so afraid of being cold for the winter, most of all I should have swallowed my hurt pride and asked for help but I didn't and the child died because of it, you think I didn't want a little wild one like Zara, or a soft gentle little one like Shelaw is, or a son to carry on at least part of our dragon line so we aren't lost to the memories of time." Revanche could only stare at Raimi for a moment "you can't blame yourself for this, how could you? When you didn't even know you were pregnant, you were learning how to get around and from what I heard slamming into mountains, rolling down hills, smacking into buildings, you didn't lose the child then, you didn't lose the child when you got Strut out of that tree. Listen to me sweetheart, this baby was just not meant to be for whatever reason, your body probably wasn't ready yet to carry a child full term. All those years on your own world, the cold, the hunger, all the things you went through, whatever the conquerors used to prevent the dragons from reproducing, all of that was probably just starting to wear off here on our world, your body was just learning to adjust Raimi and couldn't handle the added extreme of pregnancy." Raimi started to cry with harsh racking sobs "I wanted a little Zara of my own." Revanche wrapped his arms around her "we'll have little Zaras someday sweetheart, we just have to give it time." That night the two dragons slept curled around each other feeling content for the first time in a very long time on a warm beach the moonlight shimmering over the waves.