Chapter 9

When you go on a path of self destruction, it is normally painfully evident to everyone but yourself. I was, not so fortunately, unaware. The thing is, I -wanted- to care. I just couldn't. Depression is a hard thing to explain to someone else. I kept asking myself over and over again what I had done to make Stella stop loving me, to just cast me away like some plaything. For the first few days I didn't even come out of my room.

Pepper left me alone, either through knowing that harassing me would do no good, or just not caring. I didn't know, but I was alone. My friends called, Ryan came by but I didn't even want to see him, and so I just sat and stared out the window. The whole room still smelled of her and when I closed my eyes at night, I kept reaching for her unconsciously, only to find the other side of the bed cold.

I drank, I cried, I did all the dumb shit that never helps and then finally I decided there was only one option left, and that was to get her out of my mind the only way a dumb eighteen year old knows how. By fucking.

The first thing I did was have a much needed shower and got out of my pyjama pants. The next was to coldly and methodically eat something. I called up Ryan and asked if there was anything happening tonight. He told me that I was in luck and they were just about to go to a party.

Leila was going to drive so they picked me up. I tried to be cheerful but they could tell I was still feeling like shit, so they just turned up the radio and chatted about inconsequential things. I appreciated it a lot.

As they had expected, I veered off as soon as we made it inside. Ryan smiled indulgently and wished me luck. As I stalked away I heard him explaining to Leila what it was I was doing. He was a good friend. It was almost too easy. As I went up to the keg to get a beer, a pretty blonde girl was swinging her legs from the bench.

'Hey, there, ' she said, 'seems like you're in a bad mood. Anything I can do to make it better?'

'Depends on how flexible you are, ' I growled.

'Cute -and- funny. I bet the girls love you.'

Not the right one, I thought, but I said, 'Well, I heard they liked me because I was okay in bed.'

It sounded ridiculous as I was saying it, but she seemed to eat it up, and half an hour later I was blowing my load into her mouth in the bathroom. She wiped off the last glob as it dribbled down her chin, and smiled hungrily as she realised my boner wasn't going anywhere.

'I know it's early, but do you want to get out of here?'

'Sure, ' I said.

We ordered a cab from out the front and she gave me a hand job in the back seat, uncaring if the driver was watching. The house was quiet as we bashed through the front door and into my bedroom. I felt a little guilty for just taking and not giving, but she was already wet when we got our clothes off, so without wasting time I charged ahead.

We fucked until I was so exhausted I just passed out. I think was already unconscious when that happened because she had had so many climaxes that her eyes had rolled back into her head.

It had worked up until I fell asleep. I had been able to go an hour without thinking about Stella, but of course, in the morning when I had a body beside me that wasn't hers, it all came back.

The girl -- I had no idea what her name was -- smiled sleepily at me. 'Hey, last night was something else, wasn't it?'

'Yeah, ' I agreed.

'So, can we do it again some time?' she asked.

I grimaced, 'Ahh, well, I just came out of something serious and... '

She smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek. 'I understand. I couldn't expect much considering the way we met. I should probably go.'

'Thanks, ' I said, meaning it. 'Maybe at another time.'

'You bet!' She climbed out of bed, giving me a nice view of that great butt I had pulverised last night. 'I'll see myself out. It was real, Hunter.' She blew me a kiss and just like that she was gone.

I was hoping that a night of intimacy would be enough to blow the cobwebs away, but I was far from right. Over the next few weeks I partied a lot. Actually, I suppose that would be an understatement, I partied pretty much non-stop. Stella's Mum had come out permanently and the two were now living together. I didn't know it until Pepper told me later, but they had paid the whole year's lease in advance for their bit so I wasn't having to find another roommate and we weren't strapped for money.

Well, Pepper wasn't. The act of kindness pretty much just pissed me off. I still turned up to practice, I was hammered half the time but I could play all right drunk so it wasn't a big deal. Pepper and I stayed cordial, Leila fretted after me and Ryan just enjoyed the ride.

I wasn't a depressed, morbid character. Yeah, I was sad, but I was apparently fun, because I became fairly well known throughout the college. Our B-Team games were growing in popularity, and fights were a common occurrence on the field.

Just like ice hockey the fans ate it up. Ryan and I were soon feared by the opposition, but they were game and they always came at us. I got suspended a couple of times, but for a college football league, they were surprisingly lenient about it. I guess it's not like we were the top teams that were going to get drafted to the NFL and had to set an example.

I couldn't help but see Stella around. She tried to talk to me a few times, but I just walked off, leaving her alone just like she had left me. I didn't know if it was official, but she and Eve seemed to be a bit of an item. Normally there is trouble when a couple break up and share the same friends, but it wasn't an issue for me. Whenever we had small gatherings I just didn't show up. I had plenty of other options and I saw Ryan all the time. Pepper I lived with, so I didn't miss her, and Leila I saw a lot with Ryan, so it was easy.

I actually became pretty good friends with the 'fag' as I affectionately called him. Pierre had tried to get me to 'experiment' with him several times but I told him no matter how drunk I was, he had no chance. His female friends on the other hand, were a different story.

Holy fuck, did the girls love that guy! It seemed every hot girl in college knew him after the first week. He had great fashion sense or something, and he loved hearing about all the dudes they were in to. He was in with a bunch of them that were strippers as well, so it meant we could get into the club without getting carded.

Well, it meant more often than not I could, he wasn't into T and A as much as I was. I had never been a fan of strippers before, but now that I was screwing a few of them and it was a great place to drink when no one else could be bothered, suddenly I was a fan.

I was falling behind on my work in school, but there were these two straight A students who I would bone sometimes, and they did what I couldn't get round to. It was a dirty act but I didn't care. I had this grudge against everyone who was a female, sure that they were going to get me all loved up and then disappear in a puff of smoke.

I came over to pick up one of my marine biology subjects before I headed over to the bar for work to find both of them with the glasses and ponytail look wearing little shorts and tank tops. It wasn't that often that they were together when I came over, and they had a look in their eyes.

'You haven't stayed around much lately, ' Katy, the taller one with the athletic body pouted.

'Don't you like us any more because you're off screwing every girl in Stanford?' Mindy, the shorter girl with the bigger boobs added.

'Of course not, ladies.' I put my arm around both of them. I couldn't think of a good excuse so kissed Katy first, then Mindy, then both of them. They seemed to forget their previous grumbles as I eased them back into the bedroom. I guessed I was in for a threeway and I had 40 minutes before work. Who was I to look a gift horse in the mouth?

Speaking of mouths, I had my cock in Mindy's before I even had my pants off.

'Mmf.' She groaned as I shoved my rod down her throat, she grabbed my ass with both hands, pulling me closer in to her while I fucked her face. Meanwhile I was tearing off Katy's top and nuzzling her nipples and running my hands down her smooth stomach to her thighs.

She parted them slowly so my fingers could slip into her. It seemed I was forgiven for not calling them, because Mindy willingly swallowed my load while I was going down on Katy. She pulled me out of her mouth and grinned. It was Katy's turn now, and Mindy pushed her down and opened her legs. She was already warmed up from my tongue, so I was able to get all the way to my balls, feeling my tip against her hot insides.

I started moving while she and Mindy tongue lashed. The busty girl then moved behind me, pulling me a few inches out of Katy so she could jerk my base while my tip stayed inside her friend. The combination of fist and pussy was great, but I was aware that I was running out of time.

When I blew, Mindy milked my rod while I coated Katy's insides with jizz. Both girls watched the creamy fluid leaking out.

I gave them both another orgasm for good measure before yanking on my pants and leaving at a jog. 'It was a pleasure, girls, I'll see you soon!'

I jumped into the Pathfinder and checked my watch, I was already a few minutes late.

I made it over pretty quickly but lucky for me only Tara was working. Did I also mention Tara was crazy hot? She was a few years older than me, she never told me her age, but I think she around twenty five. She was tall, I was just over six feet and she could pretty much look me in the eye, with high heels on I had to stand up straight around her.

Tara had light blue eyes and raven dark hair. She was one of those girls who wore weird hats and black jeans with hippie type tops, but she was smart and she wasn't a feminist. Which is what I normally associated with girls with that sort of fashion sense.

Man was I a feminist's worst nightmare at the moment. Ryan laughingly said they probably had an anti-Hunter meeting once a week to discuss all the sexist crap I took part in. I myself abhorred the whole idea. If there was a masculine club it would be ... well, when I thought about it there were plenty of those, but that wasn't what it was about.

I worked late, flirting with Tara and any other pretty girl who came in. I got the numbers of two friends from another college in their final year and promised to get together with them soon.

When we were cleaning up Tara shook her head. 'Don't you ever get sick of being captain of the S.S poon ship?'

'Every night, ' I grinned. 'You want to make me a changed man?'

'In your dreams, lover boy.'

'And you know S.S stands for steam ship, right? So Steam Ship Poon Ship wouldn't work.'

'Neither would we, you cheeky shit.' She threw a towel at me.

I ducked it and finished wiping the bar. 'I may only be young, but I read at an adult level.'

'Hustler doesn't count.' She countered.

Did I also mention Tara was lightning fast on the comebacks? 'So how's Bill, is he still secretly gay? Does he appreciate you?'

'No and Yes, thank you very much. Now get out of here before the lights go out and you try and feel me up.'

I pretended a hurt expression, 'Tara, you know you would be the one with your hands down my pants.'

I opened up a Bud for the drive home and tried for a hug but she avoided me easily. 'Goodnight, Hunter. And you still smell of sex.'

'The price one pays for good marks, ' I admitted, closing the door behind me.

I looked at my watch, it was just after 2am, probably nothing to do so I guessed I was sleeping alone tonight. This wasn't high on my list of things to do, because it was when I got the Stella dreams, or flashbacks. I would always wake feeling like I had the first time.

The Trans Am was in the driveway, which meant Pepper was probably home, but her bedroom door was closed. I thought about going and waking her up but she would probably rip my head off and then slam the door in my face anyway. Whilst that seemed like a bit of fun, I knew she had some big test coming up tomorrow which she probably needed to put in a good five minutes study for to get her usual perfect score.

It was Friday by now, being in the AM, so I guessed I could survive one night and make up for it tomorrow. I showered and lay down in bed, my phone beeped, it was a text message. It was from Stella. My heart jumped which was funny, because a few weeks ago it would have been standard procedure.

It read simply, "Are you awake?"

I was, but I deleted it any way. if she wanted to talk to someone I was sure Eve would be a willing ear. This was what I got for falling in love with a lesbian and believing everything would be okay.

Friday morning I woke up early because I had every intention of sleeping through class. I did some push-ups and sit-ups and turned on music while I cleaned the house, which was looking a bit worse for wear. The maid was coming today or tomorrow, but I was sick of looking at a sink full of dishes.

My lecture turned out to be on the breathing systems of whales and it was pretty interesting, so I stayed up and drew some pictures of eyes on the page and a big penis on the front of this guy across from me whom I didn't like when he got up to go to the bathroom.

When he made a big fuss about it I couldn't help but laugh and gave myself away. When he tried to snatch my book off me to do the same, I hit him with it rolled up like a newspaper and said 'No!' like you do to a dog, which pissed him off even more.

I was in the mood to be a tool, but a crowd had gathered and I didn't want to bully the poor guy just because he had red hair so I bid him an overly fond farewell and made my escape.