Chapter 13

In the morning Pepper was already gone when I got to the kitchen. I slept through another few classes and did a test on monetary theory. I did pretty good on the test, actually I got a hundred perfect, but I wrote it off to a fluke. Still, I was quite proud of myself as I strutted through the hall down to the cafeteria to meet Ryan.

'Hey bro.' he punched fists with me. 'You see your sister off okay?'

'Yeah.'

'If I ever break with Leila can you put in a good word for me, she is getting better looking every time I blink, and she's so funny!'

'Not a chance.' I said flatly. 'You'll get married to Leila anyway.'

We talked about stupid shit and had a good time doing it until we saw Stella and Eve pass by.

Ryan's expression darkened, 'I met Stella's Mom the other day. She has totally changed, all lesbianish like she's trying to prove something. No wonder Stella's head is all messed up. I think her Mom has been feeding her bullshit about men screwing women over.

You ever wonder why Lesbos decide they hate men, and then half the time spend all their time trying to act like one?'

'I have often wondered the same thing, I guess it's like gay dudes who act like women. If you're going to jump the fence, you might as well try something completely different.'

He laughed, 'You have a good way of looking at life.'

Stella had seen us. 'She's going to come over.' I said.

I was right. She pretended to notice something behind us, and walked over. Then she "saw" the two of us. 'Oh hey, guys, I was just... '

'You don't need an excuse to say hello to me.' I told her, saving her from trying to come with a reason.

She grinned guiltily, 'busted huh?'

'And then some. How are you?'

'I'm okay, my mom is driving me nuts though. It seemed like a great idea to live together like girl pals at first, but she is still a snob at heart. I miss living with you and Pepper. How are the two of you getting along anyway?'

'Surprisingly well, actually.' I admitted.

'Oh.' She seemed a little disheartened by that, which kind of annoyed me. she didn't hear me complaining that she was obviously lovey dovey with Eve, whose relationship with her seemed no better than the one we had, except that Eve had boobs. Nice ones, I had to admit.

I have always known my face is way too expressive, because I think she read my uncharitable thoughts.

She bit her lip. 'That sounded wrong didn't it? It's not that, I am really glad you two are getting along, I was just a little surprised. I heard that you're no longer sleeping with every second girl at the college and people say they've seen you around together a lot... '

'People?' I asked.

'Yes, people know you, Hunter. You're that guy. So when you're seen hanging around with "that girl" talk starts to happen.'

'No offence, but even though there is nothing happening I don't feel comfortable talking about this with you. Not that long ago we were thinking about our future.' I sniffed.

Her face fell, 'That wasn't ... shit ... why does it always happen like this? I can't seem to collect my thoughts around you.'

'It's called a breakup.' I said wearily.

'Oh.' Was all she said.

I find that often times when there is a problem that you can't fix, the best way is to just try and forget about it. For me, when that problem happens to be friends with your friends, it makes life a little tricky.

That night we were at a party at Ryan's house. There was the usual crew and a whole other bunch of randoms. There was also one notable exception.

That was Eve.

Stella for once showed up alone and she looked pissed. I was sitting and talking to Pepper and Ryan when she came in, she down next to us and sighed ostentatiously.

'Something wrong?' I asked.

'Life is never easy, is it?' she said.

'Why, what happened?'

'Eve and I had a fight.' She admitted.

'I see, you alright?'

'yeah, I guess I am. Actually I don't know, everything happened so fast with her and now it's all of a sudden serious.' She smiled gratefully as Leila handed her a drink.

'Maybe we should let you guys talk.' Pepper said, giving the others a meaningful look.

They all left hurriedly, leaving Stella and I alone. 'Okay, well I guess now's your chance to unload.' I said, I still didn't really like hearing about her new lover but she was after everything, still important to me. 'What was the fight about?'

She looked up at me under hooded lashes, 'actually it was about you.'

'I see.' I grimaced.

'I was looking at old photos of us again and-'

again?

'-and she flipped out, saying I wasn't over you and she was just a rebound. That I was just kidding myself.'

How the hell do you answer something like that? She was waiting for me to respond, shit what was I going to do? 'Um, I'm sorry?'

Stella swallowed. 'The truth is, I'm not over you, Hunter. I miss you desperately, I miss what we had, I miss the way we used to talk, I miss the way we used to fuck, I miss just waking up with you in the morning. I know what I said when we broke up was completely irrational. What I felt, what I feel for you is real and it doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl. Love is love.'

'What are you saying, Stella.' My voice cracked.

'I'm saying that I love you, and today made me realise that I want to give us another shot.'

Whack.

I felt like I had been slapped across the face with a five kilo frozen tuna. 'What did you say?'

She looked like she was about to get up and run away. 'I said I love you, and I know you love me too.'

Stella was right next to me, I could smell her perfume, that familiar scent that always made me smile, and she was just the same as ever, so perfect, and yet at the same time so uncertain of her place in the world. It would be so easy for me to just lean in and kiss her and forget this shitty last few months had never happened. We could be happy again, I felt myself moving closer without even meaning to. Our lips were almost touching, I felt her catch her breath and those emerald eyes were staring in to mine.

Just past Stella I could see Pepper watching us, her expression was blank.

I pulled away.

'Stella ... I ... I can't. I am sorry. There's nothing I want more, but you broke my heart. You can't just come back when you have a fight with Eve and expect me to be okay with it. I said I want to be your friend and I meant it, but anything other than that I'm sorry. I just can't.'

Now it was her turn to look like she had been slapped, and my heart broke all over again. She pulled back, 'But why?'

She looked to where my eyes were resting, it was on Pepper's now surprised face. 'I wish I knew.'

'Her?' she choked.

'No, nothing is happening between Pepper and I, but... '

'You like her, don't you.' Stella sounded defeated.

'Pepper doesn't like anyone, so it's nothing.' I turned back to Stella.

'Pepper likes you, you idiot. She always has, why do you think she is such a bitch to you?' there were tears streaming down her cheeks now. I wanted so badly to kiss them away, what was I doing?

'I'm sorry, Stella, but you know if there is anything you ever need I'm here for you, right?'

'Sure.' She mumbled. 'I think I should go.'

'I'll walk you to your car.'

She smiled sadly, 'ever the gentleman.'

We walked there in silence, she sat down in the drivers seat and gripped the steering wheel so hard her knuckles were white. 'Goodbye, Stella.' I said.

'Goodbye hunter.' She whispered.

I walked back inside like a zombie and sat down the others.

'Ahh, what are you doing here?' Ryan asked. 'I thought you and Stella just got back together?'

'No. I just walked her back to her car.'

I turned to Pepper, she looked somewhere in between surprised, angry, sad, and another emotion that I couldn't quite catch. Her smooth blonde hair had fallen over her face, and I could only see her blue eye. 'You're a piece of work, you know that?'

'I guess I am. I think I'm going to go home.' I could feel my hands shaking.

Pepper, who missed nothing, saw it too. 'You don't look like you're in much of a state for it. I'll take you.'