Chapter 6

Jacquilt watched Marti'en read the scroll with Mar reading over her shoulder, at first Mar had not been very happy about being disturbed rumbling about how busy gatherings had become, Jacquilt chuckled, the minute Mar had started reading he stopped grumbling. Marti'en finished reading and smiled widely at Jacquilt "do you realize what a gift not just you but the whole family has been given, this has to be protected very carefully, I don't think I need to ask where it came from, it has the magic of the book of Cairin written all over it." The three spent hours discussing the scroll and how to use it making sure they had the deciphering just right.

Bitsy looked at her daughter, she looked so tired, so defeated, there was none of the bubbly personality persent, just slumped shoulders and tear filled eyes. Bitsy wrapped her arms around Kim rocking her slowly "would you like to go home, would you feel better talking there?" Kim nodded as the tears started to slip down her cheeks, silently Bitsy asked Virlane to send she and Kim home.

Curled up on the pillows of her parent's big bed, Kim cried she couldn't seem to make the tears stop, Bitsy softly ran her hand over her daughters hair letting her cry, when the sobs had turned to silent tired tears Bitsy gave Kim a hankie "loving someone can hurt terribly can't it, isn't that what tonight was all about? trying to deny the pain inside." Kim wiped her face with a trembling hand "I keep trying to find someone else, but it's never right it just feels so wrong but I keep trying any way, the more I try the worse it gets. I knew that Peter was a friend of Chads but I didn't care, all I cared about was stopping the hurt for awhile."

"And hurting Jacquilt knowing he would hear about it, trying to make him pay for your pain won't help, it will only hurt you both more." Bitsy said quietly. Kim started to cry again "how can it hurt Jacquilt, he doesn't even know I'm alive, he is always in the study whenever I come around, he hardly even talks to me anymore." Bitsy wiped the tears off Kim's face "how do you know he isn't hurting, have you asked him? have you told him how you feel? You might be surprised, remember when Natalie first came to the Keep, much of what happened wouldn't have if only she and Rav had told each other how they really felt instead of thinking the other already knew, misunderstandings from not saying what you think and feel can hurt much worse then saying what you need too and getting it out in the open, no matter what the reply."

Kim shook her head "it would only hurt more if I told him how I felt and he didn't feel the same way or didn't want me, besides he is a full grown human male, oh boy is he, I only have just a slight idea of all the problems you and Dad have had, but I have heard Dad telling you you'd been human size long enough and he wanted you to go back to fairy size before you hurt yourself."

Bitsy looked closely at Kim "oh boy is he? what am I missing here, we'll discuss the size shifting after you fill me in on what you meant. I was under the impression that you and Jacquilt had been avoiding each other from what you said earlier." Realizing what she had said Kim blushed scarlet, looking everywhere but at her mother she told Bitsy what she had seen in the forest "I should have left, I know that but I just couldn't seem too, I wanted to see what he looked like. I wanted to watch him." Kim said defiantly. Bitsy chuckled to herself she remembered another forest, a time when she should have left but didn't and understood exactly what Kim was saying so let it pass. "The size shifing magic is difficult I won't lie to you Kim, it's not just difficult mentally but physically and if you stay shifted too long you can end up staying that way with all the terrible health consequences, after you've talked to Jacquilt and can reach some sort of decision then I will teach you how, if you still want me too." Bitsy knew Kim had a fair amount of fairy magic inside her but nothing like her mother and wondered if Kim could even handle the size shifting but she didn't say that to Kim, she had enough to worry about at the moment. "Do you want to stay here the night or go back to the gathering?" "I want to go back, please Mother." Bitsy nodded and once again sent a message to Virlane.

Virlane glared at nothing in general and told Kat tomorrow he was going to find out what was going on no matter what. Kat giggled and asked him when he had become so nosey, realizing how ridiculous he sounded Virlane laughed "when I realized there were things going on right under my snout and I had no idea what." Kat laughed "you sound just like Mar" Virlane pounced on his golden dragoness and grinned at her "oh I do? you don't look anything like Marti'en." Kat purred at Virlane "why don't you show me you're not as old as Mar." Virlane growl-purred and did just that.

Brand who had just put a blanket over Chad watched his wife and daughter appear, there was no missing Kim's tear stained face, not saying anything he gave her a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek reminding her that her Dad loved her. With a sniffle Kim told him that she loved him too then crawled into her blankets to think about all the things her mother had said. Brand snuggled Bitsy on his lap wrapping them both in a big warm blanket, Brand and Bitsy watched their children sleep wishing they could do more to help ease the turmoil in their young lives, but knew the best they could do was give them the guidance to help make their own decisions and the secure knowledge that there was always home and their love waiting for them when they needed it.

It was a very quiet group that sat down to breakfast, Chad had already told his father that he wanted to talk with him later, Kim was sitting pushing her food around her plate trying not to look at Jacquilt because every time she did a blush spread across her cheeks. She had also noticed that he seemed to be in a good mood, smiling and chatting with everyone, it didn't seem fair, if she was miserable he should be too. Bitsy had finally taken pity on Keebler and fixed up his jaw so he didn't have so much trouble eating, she chuckled when he seemed almost disappointed, sporting his bruises like a conquering hero.