Chapter 11: Going Home

For over a week Natalie lay in the bed without moving, she opened her eye's several times, but never said a word. She heard what people said but rarely listened, felt them changing her nightdress, bathing her, but she didn't care. They came and went regularly checking on her, she knew almost daily Marti'en sat and read the book, she could hear the pages turning, the book didn't sing for her, it didn't talk to her but it did allow her to read it, Natalie was glad, perhaps Marti'en could learn from it. Rav rarely left her room, he was usually sitting beside her bed, or in the chair in front of the window. Sometimes he would talk to her, other times he would just sit for hours not saying a word. She wondered where Hank was, she hadn't heard his voice at all, or Trink's voice for that matter. Someone had moved her frame and canvas away from the window, it didn't seem to matter any longer, she had finished the canvas several nights before she fell. Mary was sitting with Natalie and almost jumped out of her skin when Natalie asked Mary in a bare whisper for her book. Mary took the book out of the chest and put it by Natalie's hand, she watched Natalie take the book and place it on her chest and wrap both her arms around it, as if hugging it, then closed her eye's again. Mary didn't notice that one by one all of Natalie's belonging's were vanishing. It was a somber, quiet group sitting at the dining table. Collin and Rav had talked for a long time the night of the accident, Collin knew exactly what had happened and how it had happened. They had decided not to tell Brand and Bitsy until after the gathering was done, Mar stopped by each morning, checking on Natalie and talking to Marti'en for a short while, then he would return to his lair. Brand strode in, Bitsy tucked in his shirt, the twins behind him, Keebler hard on their heels. "What the hells going on around here? Trink is in his cottage and won't come out, Hank hasn't been around in over a week, the stallion and the mare have vanished, Susan is concerned because Natalie hasn't been over for her swimming lessons and wants to know if there's a problem." Brand demanded, looking at everyone. Collin watched Brand slam down into a chair, and sighed. Rav looked at Collin and Bitsy, "Trink is angry because Hank left to go adventuring with out him, he isn't angry at Hank, he is angry at me. Hank went off because I was angry and said something I didn't mean. I don't know where the stallion is, let alone a mare I've never heard about, I also didn't know Susan was helping Natalie learn to swim. Natalie is upstairs, slowly dying because of my stupidity and hurt male ego. I also killed my own child that I didn't know even existed. It seems I was blind to a lot of things." Bitsy looked at Kat and Collin in shock, then went upstairs, she heard Brand's chair scrap back as he followed her. Natalie heard the door open and Mary talking to Brand and Bitsy, not caring, she felt Bitsy hovering over her. Natalie wanted to hate her for being one of them, but she couldn't, Bitsy had been a friend. Natalie looked at the fairy fluttering over her, "Thank you for being my friend, I will always remember that time in your green house, you were very kind." she said softy "I need to talk to Trink and tell him to watch over Hank for me," she went on. Brand and Bitsy exchanged looks, Brand growled out, "I'll get Trink for you, even if I have to drag him here by his beard." the strode from the room, the others in the dining room heard the front doors slam shut. Bitsy motioned Mary out of the room, once she was gone, Bitsy sat on the pillow and softly stroked Natalie's forehead, "It will get better, Natalie, sometimes terrible things happen in our lives, we either let it destroy us or we get stronger from it, your a survivor, you have the strength to go on, I know you do." Natalie looked at Bitsy, "I will go on, I always have, but not here, I'm going home, where I belong." then she closed her eye's waiting for Trink, not saying another word. Bitsy thinking Natalie meant the new house didn't say anything more, just sat quietly with Natalie, once the twins came in and Bitsy sent them out. Brand strode into the keep with a muttering, ranting Trink tucked under his arm like a sack of potato's. He strode up the stairs and stopped outside Natalie's door, then he put his face an inch from Trink's and told him, "you will go in there, you will smile, you will talk to Natalie, you will agree with anything she says, do I make myself clear." Muttering foul things at Brand, Trink nodded. Trink bounced into the room in a huff and stopped seeing Natalie on the bed, he quietly walked over "I hear yea wanted to talk with me, girly, ain't it awful late in the morning to still be laying about in your night clothes." Natalie smiled sadly at Trink "I wanted to ask you to take good care of Hank for me, he needs you to watch out for him, to give his life smiles and laughter, I don't know where he is right now but you can tell him I did the very best I could." Trink pulling on his beard "of course the boyo needs me, we all know that, I will always take care of me boyo. Why don't yea know where he is? he told me you would always know where to find him, that yea be a Cairin just like him." Natalie smiled for a moment "your right Trink, thank you." then she closed her eyes and searched for Hank. Mary came back to sit with Natalie as the others left the room. Trink stomped down the stairs still glaring at Brand. Bitsy and Brand went back into the dining room, Trink glared at everyone from the doorway and muttered "if yea be needing me just send for me, no need to come snatch me out of me own home!" Trink turned to leave. Collin quietly said "no need to leave Trink, come join us." Trink shook his head and turned to leave muttering rude things about adulterers and certain dragons not being able to keep their precious parts sheathed.

Trink was just about to step out the door when a hand came down and squeezed Trink's shoulder, a deep masculine voice said "don't be unkind Trink, they are your friends and your family, we all make mistakes that we have to learn to live with, have you never done something that you were shamed by?" Trink stared up at the man standing by him, he was very tall, wide shoulders, his arms strong and filled with muscles, his face deeply tanned, he looked down at Trink with the same violet eyes as Natalie's, he wore thigh high cavalier boots, a leather vest, and around his waist a sword belt, a dagger and sword in their place. "Hank?" whispered Trink, the man grinned and nodded "same Hank just a bit taller." then he bent down and picked Trink up and gave him a hard hug. "Tell the others I will be down to talk to them after I have seen Natalie," Trink watched Hank stride up the stairs two at a time, then ran into the dining room. "Did you see um, did yea see me boyo Hank, what ain't a boyo anymore?" Kat looked at Trink frowning "do you need a drink Trink, you seem a bit flustered, we haven't seen Hank since he left, you know that." Trink sat in a chair, folded his arms over his chest and waited. Hank walked into Natalie's room, smiled at Mary telling her she didn't need to stay, then pulled up the chair next to the bed and gently touched Natalie's hand. Mary walked into the dining room, she opened her mouth but saw Trink shaking his head with his finer over his lips, Mary grinned and went on into the Kitchen. Natalie opened her eyes, her hand touched Hank's face, a tear slipped down her cheek, "I always knew you would be a good strong man. I need to go home Hank, I've already sent everything I wanted there, I just needed to see you one more time before I left." Hank held her hand between his own large ones and squeezed softly. "I knew you needed to go home, I was just waiting until you sent for me, there was nothing I could do here to help you until you called me. Before you go Nat, you must promise to do one thing for me, talk to Rav, he deserves that much, you may not want to hear it right now but he loves you, he always has and at this moment his heart is breaking and lost, you are kind enough and I think love him enough to give him his heart back." Natalie cried harsh tears for a long time, Hank sat and waited. After the tears that had needed to be shed were done, Natalie promised to talk with Rav before she left. Hank stood up and pulled the dagger from its sheath, it glowed and danced across his fingers, then was in his hand again, he took Natalie's hand and wrapped her fingers around his and the dagger. Hank silently spoke to the dagger and the dagger spoke to Natalie returning her health and life to her, the dagger spoke again "never forget you are the first born of Cairin, we are always with you child, should you need us." The man Hank had become, smiled down at the sister that had always cared for him, protected him and loved him. "I need to go downstairs and see the others, I will send Rav up to you, when your done talking to him, come down and I will take you home." Then he left Natalie and thoughtfully went down the stairs and walked into the dining room. Rav stood up and looked at Hank, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that was who stood before them. Hank walked up and hugged Rav, "The only foolish thing you did Rav was not seeing the real magic, the magic called Natalie and the love she had in her heart for you, you stopped listening with your heart and only saw your own pain and hurt, you didn't listen to hers. now you have to live with that, as Natalie has to learn to live with the fact that her own fears and hurts got in the way of speaking from her heart, her silence cost her much. She is waiting up stairs to speak to you now." Rav looked at Hank, then simply said "thank you." and left the room, slowly climbing the stairs. Knocking lightly on the door Rav walked in, shut the door and leaned back on it, all the things he wanted to say racing through his mind. Natalie was standing in front of the window, she was dressed in men's breeches, a long sleeved white shirt, tight men's vest, knee high boots, her hair was braided and hung down her back, she had a leather thong tied loosely around her neck, hanging from it was the same symbol that was on Hanks sword and dagger, and the front of the book. Natalie turned and looked at Rav, the man and dragon that she loved, she felt a great sadness well up inside her, but she knew that what she was doing now was the right thing for both of them. Rav walked over and stood in front of Natalie, he looked down into the beautiful violet eye's "I'm sorry Natalie, there as so many things I should ask you to forgive me for, I know its too much to ask of you, I got lost in loving you, I wanted everything to be so right I forgot the most important thing, the woman all my love was for, I got caught up in wanting to be a father to Hank that I lost sight of the woman who would be the mother of my children." he saw her blink back tears, but needed to finish saying what he had to say. "I was so busy trying to make everything perfect that I didn't see the perfection I already had. When you ripped out the rose bushes all I saw was you ripping out what I wanted to give you, what you tried to tell me, I didn't hear because all I saw was you pushing me out of your life and I couldn't handle it. I saw your rejection of my magic as a rejection of me and it hurt so badly, I wanted to reject you and make you hurt just as badly, what I did was wrong I knew it then and I know it now." Natalie replied softly "I was never pushing you away, I was waiting for you to come and get me, to help me understand, to help me belong, I should have helped myself, I shouldn't have expected you to do it for me. I'd never been part of a loving home after Grandfather died, I didn't know how to join in, how to fit in with all of you, so I hide in my room, still waiting for you to come and rescue me, you never did. I saw your magic and resented it, thinking it was taking all that I loved away from me, not realizing it was always there, I just had to reach for it. When I finally did, it was to late. I'm going to leave and go home in a few minutes, I'm not leaving hating you or anyone else, I'm leaving because I love you." Natalie kissed Rav softly on the cheek and walked out of the room.