Chapter 8: Apprehension

I called Sheila again the next day.

"Charlotte wants to get together tonight to go over the details of the movie. Are you free tonight?"

"I'm free if you guys can come over here. I've got a couple kids I'm supposed to babysit. They go to bed around 9 O'clock, so we should be okay after that."

"Well we wouldn't exactly have your undivided attention, though. You can't exactly work out the details with little kids around. Maybe we should do it some other time."

"Yeah, I guess so. Tomorrow's good, I guess."

"Great we'll head over to Charlotte's tomorrow."

"Cool," she said, but she sounded kind of distant.

"What's wrong?"

"Sorry if I seem a little out of it. I'm just dealing with a lot of feelings and stuff. I thought I was ready for this whole experience, but I never realized there was a whole emotional side to it."

"What do you mean?"

"I guess in a way, I've been saying goodbye to little Chicken Legs Sheila, the scrawny little kid that I was deep down inside, up until yesterday. I'm not sure if you understand. I feel like I've lost a part of me somewhere. I don't know how to explain it."

"Maybe you didn't really lose anything. Maybe you're just different. Maybe you just changed."

"Maybe," she said. "I gotta go though. I'm gonna go get back in the bath again."

"So you're sure there's no regrets."

"I'm sure. Everything's gonna be okay. I just need to get through this little funk I'm in. It's not like the books you read. Real life is way different it turns out."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later."

"She?"

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to say that last night was really beautiful for me. I just feel like we're connected on a totally deep level somehow, like a part of you is with me now, wherever I go. Like I'm carrying you around with me in my heart."

Sheila snickered. There was almost a tone of annoyance to it.

"There you go again, getting all emotional on me."

"Sorry. It's the truth though. I was just trying to cheer you up."

"I appreciate what you're saying, Ant. Now's just not the right time to say it. That's all."

"I understand. I'll let you go then."

"Okay. Call me tomorrow and let me know what's going on."

"Sure," I said. "See you."

"Okay, bye."

Then we hung up.

I honestly was a little concerned for Sheila. Whatever she was going though, I knew it was major. She almost never got down like that. It was weird. I decided to talk to Charlotte about it. She would have something insightful to say about the whole mess.

"Stephanie Lawsen here. What can I do for you?"

"Hi, Stephanie. It's Anthony."

"Oh, Anthony. You sound a little down. What's wrong, my dear?"

"You can tell just from one sentence?"

"I'm usually pretty sharp when it comes to reading people."

"Guess that's where Charlotte gets it from."

"It sure is, Sweetie. So what's got you down?"

"Well it's kind of a long story."

"Give me the gist of it."

"Well if you don't mind me putting it bluntly, I had sex a friend of mine, a girl I've known since childhood, and now things are feeling weird between us."

"That's a tough one. Sex is a very emotional thing for young girls, Anthony. It's even worse when it's their first time."

"It was her first time actually."

"Oh, well there you go. That explains it. She's got all kinds of physical and emotional stuff going on right now. She should snap out of it in a day or so."

"That's what she said."

"So why are you worried about it?"

"I don't know. I guess I just felt like she had regrets about it or something."

"Well let me put it to you this way. You say you've known her all your life. So it's possible that she's been thinking about sleeping with you for some time now, otherwise she wouldn't have done it, right?"

"Yeah, she admitted to that."

"So she's doing all this thinking about you, and building it up in her mind as some wonderful, fantastic thing, and it is, in the moment, but then the morning after hits, she's all alone in her bed again, and all of a sudden she feels this big let down. The rush is gone, all the giddiness has faded, and there's just a lot of funny little aches and pains. She's just gotta figure it out, that's all."

"That makes sense."

"Of course it does."

"So how much do I owe you, Doctor Lawsen?"

Stephanie laughed out loud, and her laugh was beautiful.

"No charge, this time. Just hook up with Charlotte. Give her a good spoiling. She's been griping about this Steve guy all day, and I don't know why. If she can't stand him, why's she with him? She should just stick with you."

It looks like I had mom's seal of approval. That was encouraging.

"I was planning to get together with her tonight actually. That's why I called.

"Great. Mr. Lawsen and I are going out at six. You two will have the place all to yourselves. Take good care of her and I'll fucking pay you tomorrow. She's been a little crabby-ass all day long."

"I don't need to be paid. It's a privilege being with her."

"You're so sweet, Anthony," Stephanie said. For a moment she sounded exactly like Charlotte. It was uncanny.

"Thanks," I replied. "It's the honest truth though. Charlotte rocks my world."

There was a pause, and for a moment I was wondering what Stephanie was thinking over there. I was sure it was something good. Having her mother's approval would help a little in Charlotte's struggle with whether or not it was safe to fall in love with me. Having her father's approval would help even more. She was a daddy's girl after all. I hadn't met Ronald Lawsen yet, though.

"Here she comes now. Speak of the devil. Charlotte, telephone's for you."

"Is it-"

I imagined her gesturing to her mom about whether or not it was Steve calling.

"Yeah, it's him."

"Oh good. Just let me walk Steve to the door and I'll be right there."

Steve was still there!? Uhg!

"Well she sure seems glad to hear from you," Stephanie said. "You should have seen the look on her face."

"Cool," I said.

"The poor thing, I've never seen her so stressed out."

"I'll take care of her for you. Don't worry."

"I'm sure you will, Studly Doright. Just remember. Sometimes a gal just needs a little TLC."

"I hear you."

"My daughter is a very lucky gal."

"Well If you ask me, it's me that's the lucky one. The more I think about her the more I feel like I just want to do nothing but take care of her, and make her world wonderful and all that mushy romantic stuff."

The other end of the line was silent.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hi, Anthony."

It was Charlotte.

"Uh, how long have you been listening over there?"

"Mom just handed me the phone, after she told you I was a lucky gal."

"So you heard that big speech of mine, then?"

"Uh-huh," she said. "All I can say is, I need someone to make my world wonderful right about now. I feel awful."

"What's wrong?"

"I gave Steve oral a few minutes ago."

There was an odd silence between us when she said that. I felt an ugly feeling drop into my guts.