Chapter 26: Awakening

Sheila was quiet on the way to her house, and so was I. She stared out the window, lost in her own thoughts. I drove, imagining her going down on that guy, wrestling for mouth space with Jade on the length of his cock while he sat there like he owned them. My teeth were grinding.

She wouldn't do that with Amy due home at any minute though, would she? No. She may be Charlotte, the school slut, but even she wasn't that low. I decided my girlfriend was safe for the time being.

But why, oh why did I have to fall in love with the school slut in the first place? It was hitting me now that she was not going to change, and I shouldn't really expect her too. She was fun, and free, and loved fucking for the sake of fucking. How could I be mad at her simply for being who she was?

Because she'd told me she didn't want anyone else. She told me I was the only guy she'd ever need. She'd told me she loved me, and that she'd never loved anyone before. She'd told me that I could trust her to honor me and respect me, the way her mom honors and respects her father. And I'd believed her. But the far-away look in her eyes, and the giggling, and the clothes she chosen told me otherwise. There was a side to Charlotte that I didn't know at all.

And she'd been masturbating like a fiend while I talked with Steve on the phone. She was horny as hell. Why in god's name had I left her? Ouch!

Still, how can she give herself to someone so cheesy like that? Couldn't she see it? She was smarter than that, wasn't she?

Maybe she wasn't. Maybe, no matter how much I wanted her to be the Charlotte I saw in my mind, the loving, loyal, sweet Charlotte, she would never become that. Maybe it was all an illusion. Maybe the dream was over. Maybe it had never even really begun. Maybe it was all just wishful thinking, on both of our parts. Maybe we were through.

There was a lump in my throat. I was almost crying by the time I got to Sheila's.

"You want me to wait for you? How long you gonna be."

"What do you think you're gonna find if you go back there?" she asked me.

"I think I'm gonna find Charlotte being Charlotte. I'd be silly to expect her to be anything else."

"Glad you realize that, Anthony. Do what you gotta do. Mom's not feeling well. She wanted me to clean up a bit. Call me in a couple hours, okay?"

"I will."

She looked at me through the passenger side window. I waited for her to go so I could drive away and cry.

"Sometimes you gotta love someone for who they are, no matter how much they hurt you, no matter how much they disappoint you when you believe in them, no matter how blind and stupid they are. Sometimes you can't help it no matter how hard you try."

She was right too. A tear spilled down my face. It was on the driver's side though, so she didn't see it. She was right though. I loved Charlotte for who she was, even though it killed me inside to do so. But I had about as much choice in the matter as I did if I were to argue with gravity. I loved Charlotte, and I always would. I was blind and stupid.

It was this blindness and stupidness that made me, when I drove away, go back to my place instead of returning to Charlotte's. I didn't want to walk in and see her on her knees sucking some other guy's cock. I didn't want to catch her bent over the coffee table with this guy's dick ploughing up into her. But mostly I didn't want to see his face as I walked into the room, the dismissive look, the cocky little smirk on his face that completely emasculated me without saying a single word. I didn't want to see the hand prints on her ass where he'd smacked her, or see the drunken, lustful, lost look in her eyes when a hard smack on the ass sent all coherent thought on vacation. I didn't want to see her enjoying a nice big cock that wasn't mine, pleasing her, making her wriggle and moan and forget I even exist.

Part of me, most strangely of all, didn't even want her to remember that I existed. Part of me, didn't want her to feel bad for simply being who she was. I loved who she was, though it killed me inside, and all I could do was run around in circles inside my head, trying to ignore what I knew was true: Charlotte was cheating on me, and thoroughly enjoying it. And why shouldn't she? I didn't own her. I didn't even deserve her. She owes me nothing. Maybe we could still be friends. Maybe she'd let me snuggle her once in a while in between her hot college guys like Vincenzo, so I could pretend that it all wasn't just a beautiful dream.

That's when I broke down crying for real. Hard and deep. My whole body shook with it. I pulled into my driveway and just let it all out, marveling at how only twenty minutes ago I was telling Steve how I would enjoy the beautiful experience for as long as I could, little realizing that it would be over within minutes.

And it was over, I decided. It had to be. I wouldn't have been crying so hard if it wasn't. Part of me was trying to let go, trying to heal, trying to wake up from the dream. I cried like a little boy for over ten minutes until finally winding down to sad little sighs. I opened my eyes and realized that I was lying on the seat of my truck. The engine was still running. I don't even remember lying down, but there I was.

"Time to move on, old boy," I told myself. "You had a good run, but you gotta let Charlotte be Charlotte. You gotta let her go."

I sighed sadly again. I got up and went into the house. Mom wasn't home. The phone was ringing.

"Anthony, it's Mick."

"Hi, Mick," I said.

"You okay, man? You sound like shit."

"I'm alright," I lied. "What's up?"

"I'm here at the mall with Amy and Janine. My car won't start. Can you come down and bring me some gas?"

"How'd you know I was here?"

"Sheila told me."

"How'd you know Sheila was at her house?"

"Charlotte told me you drove her home."

(How did Sheila know I'd come home instead of going to Charlotte's? That girl was psychic, I swear.)

"Anthony? You there?"

"Yeah. Sorry."

"I called Charlotte and she said she couldn't leave to pick up Amy because she had company over. Who's down there, man, that she can't come get her own sister? Weird. Anyway, she told me to call you."

If I needed any more evidence of what was going on at the Lawsen residence, that was it. I still didn't want to believe it though.

"I'll be down there in a bit, Mick. I'll get some gas and I'll drive Amy home."

"The movie all done?"

"Yeah. Just some editing left."

"You okay, man? You seriously sound like shit."

"Charlotte's just being Charlotte," I said in a daze. "Everything's gonna be just fine."

"Alright, man. I'll see you soon."

He didn't sound like he believed me. I didn't believe me either. I sat on my couch, still dazed for a few more minutes, trying to remember if my gas can was in the garage or the basement with cum all over Charlotte's face as Jade sucked on her nipples. I was pretty sure it was in the garage because that's where I would have left it the last time I'd used it with Jade sitting on Charlotte's face as that big ugly cock speared in and out of her, making her writhe and moan and maybe the gas can still even had some gas in it. Maybe I wouldn't even have to fill it up as Charlotte bounced on his dick until he spewed deep inside her, releasing his seed into the beautiful slurping pussy that was once mine. I could even smell it for god's sake! The smell of her sopping wet pussy was-

Still on my finger! I held it to my nose, remembering suddenly that I'd been feeling her up while she was on the phone with Steve. The rich, sexy smell of her arousal was all over my hand in fact. The scent of it simultaneously aroused me and repulsed me. I got a hard on, but I almost gagged at the same time. Vincenzo was smelling that same smell at that very moment. Sliding his cock in and-

The phone rang, snapping me out of my daze again.

"Anthony?"

"Steve?"

"Yeah."

"What's up?"

"Um, I just wanted to tell you, I just came back from Charlotte's place. I guess I just wanted to take her up on that offer she gave me. But when I got there. There was this guy..."

"Yeah?"

"I didn't see anything. They were in the bedroom upstairs, but I heard it. A guy and another girl. I don't know who they were, but it wasn't you and it wasn't Sheila. Sheila wasn't even there either."

"I know. I dropped her off at home."