Ned Kelly was in trouble again. He had arrived home from school with his younger sister at the normal time. To say that he was with her is rather stretching the point, since neither would walk in a way which indicated that they were together or even that they knew each other. They entered the kitchen to find their mother clutching a letter.

"Gerald Michael Kelly stand still right there," she said in a loud voice that brooked no argument. "Susan, go to your room."

Susan made as if to argue. "But..."

"Go right now!" her mother yelled and Susan ran out of the room crying.

"What have you been up to now?" she started on poor Ned. "You have been wasting your time at school, seducing young girls, what your father will say when he reads this I do not know..." and on she went. Ned stood and took it resignedly. It was nothing new for his mother to yell at him for whatever misdemeanours, real or imagined that he might have done, often reported to her by Susan. This time, however, he was more than a little pissed at the unfairness of the accusations that she was hurling at him. He had, after all, been working hard recently, and seducing young girls? Well, he should be so lucky!

" ... and to cap it all you have to choose the headmaster's innocent young daughter as the object of your evil intentions..."

So that was what it was about. Well, that was at least partially correct, although to describe Wendy as innocent was, Ned felt, stretching the truth rather a long way.

" ... and now she has been sent to a convent for her own protection..."

Oh come on, protection from herself, thought Ned, beginning to bridle at the injustice of the accusations.

" ... and I have to put up with receiving letters from the school saying that you are on the very edge of being expelled. What have you got to say for yourself?"

"That this is grossly unfair mother," said Ned. "All I have done is ask Wendy if she would like to go to the pictures with me."

"Where, no doubt, you would force your attentions on her, and attempt to have your evil way with her. The headmaster says that you have become a nuisance to all the girls..."

"That is simply not true," said Ned hotly. "That man is a liar, and he isn't fit to be master of a kennel let alone a school..."

"How dare you call that fine man a liar. Gerald Kelly, get to your room,"

Ned decided that this battle wasn't worth fighting, and left.

Sat at the desk in his room Ned decided that it wasn't easy being sixteen. The only adult who didn't scold him on a regular basis seemed to be his father, but then he always seemed pretty quiet anyway. Actually it wasn't entirely true that all adult had ago at him, but at present it felt like it.

The door to his room opened and Susan came in.

"Don't you ever knock?"

"You just got me in to trouble," said Susan.

"No, you got yourself into trouble because you didn't get out quick enough," replied Ned. "You should know what mother's like when she gets going."

"Well, it was your fault. What have you been up to now? She asked.

"It's none of your business. You wouldn't understand anyway."

"I'm only fifteen months younger than you, even if that does mean I'm two forms below, and I know as much as you do." Susan stated with some vehemence. And I heard mother say that you'd been fucking Wendy Simpson. Is she pregnant?"

Ned winced. "Where did you learn language like that? No I haven't, and no she isn't, or if she is it has nothing to do with me. All I did was ask her out which seems to some people to be a major crime."

"I learnt that sort of language from you! And I'm going to find out all about it and tell mother. Then you'll be for it."

Susan flounced out as Ned said. "Yes, you do that, then she'll know I'm innocent."

The next morning at school Ned joined the group around the fire in their form room, leaning on the tubular rail that prevented them from accidentally touching the old Tortoise stove.

"I heard you got Wendy pregnant," said Clare Jones.

"That's a load of rubbish," came the immediate rejoinder from Cathy Whale, who was a close friend of Wendy's. "You should know better than to spread rumours like that. It's her father who thinks she should be locked away from anyone who might find her attractive. Mind you, she did say Ned was an excellent kisser."

There were some giggles, and one or two of the girls looked speculatively at Ned.

"Well, he was getting on very well with her at the party," said one of the other girls.

"Finally got your end away have you Kelly?" One of the other boys joined in.

"No, I haven't," said Ned vehemently. "Why don't you all leave it alone? I haven't done anything, and neither has she. All I did was kiss her, and ask her to go to the pictures. It's her father who is causing all the fuss."

"I heard that he's having an affair with the games mistress," said Clare.

"You always seem to hear these things Clare, and you know they're not true, you just like to spread salacious gossip, and in any case Miss Hiscock is his wife's twin sister, he'd hardly be having an affair with her, would he?"

"What sort of gossip... ?"

"How did he find out about Wendy and Ned going to the pictures?" asked another girl. "I wouldn't tell my father, I'd just say I was going to the pictures and leave it at that."

"I don't think she was going to do any different," said Cathy. "How do you think she found out Ned? Was it to do with all that fuss the other day?"

"Yes, and it's quite simple," said Ned. "It was that damned silly essay I had to write. One of the staff reported it to him."

"Who do you think it was Ned?" asked his friend Danny. "Miss Hiscock?"

"Damned silly name," said one of the others, it ought to be Hercock, not his."

"Don't be dopey, Smudge, you can't have Her cock, and Hiscock is a fine upstanding member. Of staff, that is."

"Did you hear about the bloke called Glascock? You could always see him coming."

There was a general round of groans at this, and at this point Mr Corbett, their form master arrived and put an end to any further attempts at humour.

After registration Mr Corbett asked Ned to stay.

"The headmaster wanted to expel you, Kelly," he said. "but most of the staff opposed him, so you're alright for now. Just don't let us down."

Ned digested this for a moment. "No, sir I won't. And thank you sir."

"Rightho, off you go." And Ned went off to his physics class.

"Now," said the physics master. "Looking at your homework, I see you all seem to have mastered Boyle's and Charles's Laws, Kelly here seems to have a particularly deft hand with them," he grinned broadly at Ned, although none of the others had any idea as to what he was referring. "So now we will go on to electro-magnetism..." and indeed on he went.

By the weekend things seemed to have settled down a bit, Ned's mother said no more, and even Susan seemed more liveable with. Saturday was bright and sunny, a warm spring day, and Ned decided to take his camera out and see if he could get any shots of wildlife. To be honest it wasn't Ned's camera but his Uncle George's, but he was quite happy to let Ned keep it most of the time. Uncle George was employed by a big engineering business and was able to use his photographic skills in the course of his work, enabling him to have the latest equipment to indulge his hobby, as well as his favourite nephew.

The camera that Ned carried on his expedition was a Leica, which his uncle said he had 'liberated' when he was in Germany at the end of the war. Ned could never get him to talk about it any further, all he knew for certain was that his uncle had been an army captain, and had ended up on the German/Polish border. The Leica had certainly been worth liberating, coming complete with a 135mm telephoto lens. It was all carried in a neat bag with filters and spare film, and fitted in his saddlebag along with some sandwiches and a drink.

Ned had decided that he would go to an area of mixed woodland about ten miles from his home where he had been with his uncle on a previous occasion. When he arrived at the woodland he looked around and found some bushes behind which he could hide his bike, he certainly didn't want it to be stolen, and walked along a track into the gloom of the overhanging trees. After perhaps a quarter of a mile he came to the clearing that he remembered. This was a lovely spot, there were all sorts of insects buzzing above a small pond, brought to life by the bright sunshine flooding in. He found a place to hide just outside the clearing and settled down to wait and see what would appear.

After the long ride, and a hard week Ned was weary and began to nod off to sleep, to be jolted awake when he heard voices. Coming into the clearing from the track was a man and a woman, walking with their arms around each other.

Bugger, thought Ned, that's fucked up ... his thoughts paused ... that's Mr Simpson, and his wife. My goodness she and her sister are alike. Ned remembered seeing them together at sports day the previous summer, the only way you could tell them apart was a large brown birthmark on the games mistresses upper arm. They're awfully lovey dovey, he thought, married couples aren't like that ... still. Mr Simpson spread out a travel rug that he had been carrying, and as they settled down onto it the woman turned, and Ned could see her arm. There was a large brown birthmark on it.

My god, he thought, that's Miss Hiscock, Clare Jones was right. It took a few seconds for it to register that he had come to this spot to take photos of wild life, and it looked as though there was going to be some going on right in front of him. The couple were now kissing deeply, completely unaware of their audience, and Ned readied the camera.

The next hour was an education for young Ned, an education way beyond anything he could have imagined. The games mistress was certainly athletic. He had no idea that people did some of the things this couple were doing, and everything faithfully recorded on several rolls of film. There was little doubt that in addition to being a good kisser, Ned now had a thorough grounding in the arts of love that would stand him in good stead when he could find someone to practice on. Eventually the show came to an end, and the couple folded up the rug and left arm in arm. Ned, however, had a little longer to wait before he could leave, since he needed to exercise out the stiffness that he had acquired whilst laying there, something he would need to do over again in the succeeding weeks whenever he thought about the scene he had witnessed.

It was about half an hour later when Ned recovered his bike and rode off towards home. He decided that since it was now getting towards teatime he would leave developing the film until the next morning when he went to Uncle George's house. After tea, the house being still quite subdued, and there being nothing on either of the television channels that he wanted to watch, Ned went to his room to complete his homework and then read before going to bed.

It was an hour later that he heard sobbing from his sister's room. After listening for a few minutes he decided to investigate, and knocked softly on her door.

"Go away." Came from within.

Ned cracked open the door and peered round. Susan was sitting on her bed snuffling and sobbing.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"Go away."

Since this was not said with any great conviction, Ned slid round the door and closed it. Susan sat there with her face in her hands. Ned went over and sat next to her putting his arm around her.

"Tell me about it."

"No, you'll only laugh at me. And you'll tell mum."

There was a fresh burst of sobbing.

At this stage Ned had no idea what was motivating him, but the fact was that in the last couple of weeks he had done a tremendous amount of what we call growing up. Ned fished a fairly clean handkerchief out of his pocket.

"I'm not going to laugh at you, and I'm certainly not going to tell mother. Now, tell me all about it." He placed the handkerchief over her nose. "Blow," he said.

Susan blew, wiped, realised what she was using and, "yuecch," she said and dropped it on the floor. She smiled.

"That's better," said Ned. "Now tell all."

"Oh, everything around here seems horrid at the moment. I don't know what it is, but mother's reaction to you was way over the top. I've checked, and what you said is true, that horrid man Simpson is out to get you. And you may be awful, but you are my brother. And then this afternoon Russell Braddick wanted to kiss me, and when he did he said that it was awful and he didn't really expect a kid like me to be able to kiss properly."

"Russell's just a yokel," said Ned. "Why on earth you let him kiss you I don't know. I expect he practises on cows or worse."

"Eeuuch, what could be worse?" asked Susan, smiling.

"I don't think I know, probably his sister, though, she's pretty gruesome."

Susan laughed.

"But you're a good kisser," she said.

"So I'm told," said Ned.

What came next was a complete shock to Ned.

"Would you teach me?"

"What?"

"Would you teach me, you know, show me how?"