Chapter 14

I did the now familiar appearance into the end of Cowboys Jack's house and Amos was right behind me. I was just going to say something to him when he turned around and went right back through. I damn near followed him, but caught myself and backed off at the last.

"What the hell was all that about?" Cowboy Jack asked.

"Damnifiknow. When we got back with the Damsels Kathy Caretaker was washing me up while the Damsels were in the healing chamber and we were talking and wondering what Amos was gonna be doing stuck with us for a month or so. I suggested she get him a Hero Greeter and I hadn't seen him since, until just now," I said.

"What the hell you mean Damsels?"

"I ended up rescuing three. They were all at the same slimeball slaver's place when I took it over," I said.

"I thought Sid got rid of all the slavers a while back."

"That was before my time, and apparently he didn't get 'em all. I don't see how he could anyway. With no law at all to mention on the planet you could never stamp nothing like slavery out. Best you could do would be slow it down a little when it got out of hand."

"Well that still leaves us wondering what become of Amos?"

"He was probably sitting around having breakfast or something with his new Caretaker and they hadn't realized I was about to get sent home. Hell, I don't know. I'm just guessing."

"Well, we should be able to get the details in seven more minutes."

"That should give me enough time to fetch us both a Lone Star."

I walked over to the fridge, pulled two out and handed one to Jack. On second thought I pulled another one out and opened it. It left me standing around with two beers in my hands. I was taking a swig of one when Amos popped up in a bathrobe this time, barefoot too.

"Now what the hell am I gonna tell my wife if I have to come home in this bathrobe?" he asked.

"Well hell, you was fully dressed when you came out with me," I said.

"Yeh, I was ready for that. We'd been getting up every morning for a week just in case it happened. Rita warned me I'd have to pop back here as soon as you got sent home. We had it all planned for me to come back and go on a mission after you came back. Trouble was, the Damsel June caught a couple of days earlier than we thought she would, and she found out right at bedtime too," he said.

"Well you're in better shape than Jumbo Dick came back on his first trip. He came squirtin' outta that doorway bare assed naked," Cowboy Jack said, and then he laughed like hell at me.

"I'll say one thing for the boy, he saved my bacon before I ever even got it on the fire," Amos said, just before I handed him the beer in my other hand.

"Do tell," Cowboy Jack said.

"He got me a safety deposit box and had me put some weapons, clothes, and money in it before we left. I didn't have to start out shoveling shit, picking apples, or nothing like that since I already had a sword, a couple of knives, that bow, and some money when I got there."

"Well tell us about your mission?" I said.

"It went pretty easy. I'm sure it was because Rita sent me on the easiest one she could find. It was probably easier than your first time since I already had a decent saddle so I didn't have to put my poor ass in that crap they call a saddle there.

"Damned good thing too, I had to ride about seventy miles one way. The Damsel had been in one place and it was supposed to be easy. I just charged in and put my sword to the drunk bastards nose and demanded her. The fucking fool had let her get kidnapped from him two nights before I got there.

"I wanted to kill him for it, but decided not to, so I just turned my back and left. I'da got killed my own self if he'da been sober because he jumped up and tried to pull his own sword. He was so drunk he nearly dropped it twice, but when he finally got it ready to swing I just let fly and cut his fucking head off.

"I nearly skipped stripping his body, and after I went ahead and did it I wished I hadn't. He didn't have shit on him but a knife and that damned sword and it wasn't worth hardly a damned thing. To top it off, while he'd been in there getting so drunk someone had stolen his horse.

After I tracked down the Damsel and took her away from the two goofballs who'd stolen her I tried to sell that shit and all the guy offered me for the sword was two damned pinches. I told him I'd use it for a tooth pick before I'd give it away, but it is in pitiful shape."

"Well at least you got the Damsel and got back in one piece," Cowboy Jack said.

"There is that, and she was a treat - sweetest thing you ever saw. I don't know what I'm going to tell Kerry, but I'll think of something.

"What am I saying - I know what I'll tell her. I'll tell her to just come out here and go on the next trip with me. She likes to munch a little rug now and then anyway and Rita is just the girl she can chew on.

"I do hope it's all right for me to come out here and use your portal until I can get one built?" Amos asked, and when I didn't answer right away Cowboy Jack jumped in.

"Well, are you gonna let him use your portal or not?"

"Hell, it's fine with me, but as far as I'm concerned it's your portal. I was waiting for you to say yay or nay," I said.

"Well I ain't afraid to squat down and decide. Yes, you can use this portal as long as you want to," he said.

"Good. Say, how quick are you going back?" he asked me.

"I 'spect I'll try it again in a week or no more than two. Why?"

"Well I was going to try to build a saddle I could take through the portal and if you were going quicker than me I was gonna get you to try it, but I want to go again next week and maybe take Kerry, so I'll just try it.

"I think I know why the portal kicked it out last time, and the throw ropes too. The saddle was made with metal in it lots of places and we've been using small steel cable in some of the throw ropes instead of all rawhide.

"I'll make up some with no metal at all and we can see if they'll go through."

"The ones you made on Chaos are good," I said.

"Oh, they're functional enough, but I can do a better job in my own shop. I'll just make one designed to go through the portal and see if it flies. I'll tell you though, you've got some damned nice horses at your place. I was a little disappointed with most of the stock I bought and sold on my adventure."

"Were you a long way from my place?"

"No, it wouldn't have been too far out of the way to go by and pick up a horse, at least it wouldn't have been at first, but I was in a hurry until I found out the Damsel had been carried away and by the time I found out she was gone I wanted to stay hot on the trail.

Hell, I might as well go on home and face the music. I am going to have a big surprise for Kerry when I get there," he said, and then he took off.

"What kind of surprise is he going to have for his wife? Is he going to tell her all about taking a trip to never never land and fucking two beautiful women?" Cowboy Jack asked, after Amos was gone.

"I suppose he'll have to tell her before it's all said and done, but I imagine the first thing he wants to tell her is his dick is working again."

"Huh?"

"I didn't know it, but he'd had prostate cancer and he'd had it removed. I sent him through the healing chamber almost as soon as we got there and that's how I found out. I was just intending to get his knee fixed up, but after his dick got put back into shape he spilled the beans."