Chapter 4

"My mother knows about you." I rested my head on Kevin's shoulder. His arm was still draped around me.

"What does she know?"

"She knows that we ran into each other and spent three days holed up fucking like rabbits," I giggled.

"You didn't tell her that, did you?" The look on his face was priceless.

"Of course not, silly," I snickered. "She read between the lines. Mothers have an intuition, you know."

We hadn't left his house. The morning stretched into the afternoon. In fact, we only left his bed to shower and make a quick brunch. Then we retreated under the covers. We didn't make love again, instead savouring each others's warmth.

"Does your father know?" Kevin asked hesitantly.

"I don't think so," I replied. My dad was kind of dense. And I didn't want to bring up the subject of dating with him. Not so soon after my divorce. It was bad enough that my marriage had failed, but ending up in the arms of another guy—and a white guy at that—so soon was something I didn't even want to contemplate. "What about your parents? They saw us at the airport."

"Dad wanted to know why we never went out in high school," he said softly. "And Mom thinks I'm still in love with you."

My heart skipped a beat.

"Are you?" the words were out of my mouth before I knew I had said them.

"Yes," he blurted out.

It took me a second to look into his eyes. He didn't look embarrassed or uncomfortable. He wore his heart on his sleeve. There was no pretense about him. No games. With Kevin Westcott, what you see is what you get.

And right then, I wanted him more than anything.

Only I couldn't bring myself to tell him that.

Kevin took a deep breath. "Okay, Mel. Here are all my cards: I've been in love with you since high school. You're smart and funny. When other girls would only talk to me because they wanted me to do their homework for them, you were nice to me. You're the prettiest woman I've ever seen. When I saw you in that airport six weeks ago, I felt like I was getting a second chance."

The blood started to pound through my veins.

"I think about you every night when I go to sleep," he continued. "I miss you. I miss holding you. I miss talking to you. Hell, I even missed you grinding your teeth in your sleep. I'm thirty-six years old and single, Mel. I've spent my whole life waiting for the right girl to come along and now that I've got her, I don't want to let you go. I'm successful and can provide anything you or your kids need. I know you've got other priorities in your life, but give me a chance, Melanie. Please."

"Oh, Kevin," I gasped and choked back the tears that came. It took me a second to gather my thoughts. When my breathing was under control, I tried to speak. "I've missed you, too. I was thinking about us the other day. Not 'us' together, but back when we were in high school. You were the one guy who was friends with all of the girls. We knew you weren't just trying to get into our pants. You're smart and handsome. But right now ... I don't know."

"Why not?" he asked quietly.

"Because right now, I don't know that I want you for all the right reasons," I looked away, unable to bring myself to actually face the hurt in his eyes. "When we were in high school, I could have gotten any of you boys to do my homework for me. Not because I needed you to, but because I could. That's what I feel like I'm doing when I'm with you. I feel like I'm using you."

"Why, Mel?" Kevin whispered. "You're not using me if I let you."

"Because you deserve better than that," my voice started to quiver. He pulled me close. I wiped my eyes. "Kevin, I owe money to more people than I can count. Credit cards, my mortgage, my divorce lawyer ... they're all after me. And I've got two kids; you do understand that they're part of the package, right? And then there's my ex-husband. Like it or not, I still have to deal with him, too."

I took a deep breath.

He smiled as if he knew something I didn't. He caressed my face again and kissed my forehead. "Melanie, you always have to be in control, don't you? Everything has to make sense?"