Chapter 10

"Where are we going?"

"That's a surprise," Kevin replied. He was carrying an overnight bag. After his impromptu marriage proposal, he made a call and soon had a private jet waiting for us at the airport. We flew back home. I drove back to my parents's house and Kevin picked up a rental car.

I didn't tell Mother or Father about my job. Not then.

Unbeknownst to me, the next afternoon, while I was out with the kids, Kevin drove over and asked my parents for their blessing. We went out to dinner that night to one of our favourite restaurants out at Atlantic Beach and much to my surprise, his parents, my parents and my kids showed up.

He got down on one knee, produced a ring with a rock on it that appeared to be about the size of The Fabulous Baseball Diamond and formally asked me to marry him.

I acted surprised but the tears were real. Of course I said yes.

We were planning a small wedding (and when I say "we" I mean "me") when we decided to forego the formality and flew all of our friends and family out to Vegas and got hitched. No, Elvis wasn't involved. I had the big wedding the first time and wanted this one to be familiar and intimate.

Emily and Toby were our attendants and Kevin surprised me by producing the kimono my mother had worn at her wedding. Father only winked. Despite my reservations about how they'd react, both my parents eagerly supported my union with Kevin. I think they were relieved that I had found a successful husband since I was once again unemployed.

Somehow, Kevin found a Shinto shrine out in the middle of the Nevada desert and we had a small, but traditional, Japanese wedding. At first I wanted to wait, but Kevin insisted on getting married quickly.

"The kids will be going to their father's once school gets out," he told me. "I want them to be a part of our wedding and then I want us to have some time together before we get them back when school starts again in August."

I readily agreed; it seemed my new groom was thinking two steps ahead of me. When we returned, the two of us sat down and had a heart-to-heart.

Despite the whirlwind nature of our romance, the fact of the matter was that Kevin had been a confirmed bachelor and I was a family mom. There was a great divide between our worlds. We talked about his role as a stepfather. We discussed all the debt I was bringing to our relationship. Everything was on the table, from the hours we kept to the way we spent our money. Life isn't all passion and romance and we both wanted to love each other once the first six months of our marriage had passed.

It was especially hard for me. In the back of my mind, I was busy re-formulating my 5 year plan. I didn't have to work if I didn't want to. Kevin told me as much. But I needed something to do.

I'm a goal driven person. I always have been. When I was laid off my job, I my self-esteem was crushed. I hate to admit it, but every identity I had was wrapped up in my career. Unfortunately, I was a mommy second to my job. It wasn't out of selfishness, though; it was out of love. I wanted to provide for my family and I thought that by working and working, I could give them things and opportunities I couldn't if I didn't push myself so much.

This second round of unemployment was a little easier for me. It was voluntary. It was something I had chosen.

Even though I could have been Kevin's trophy wife, I desired more. I needed something other than sitting around a house waiting for him to come home from work.

Luckily, Kevin understood, although he told me to take some time to spend with my kids before jumping back into a job hunt.

So there we were, on a private jet going somewhere. Kevin wouldn't tell me where.