Chapter 5

I guess it was inevitable. Three months is a long time for a vehicle to sit in long term parking. My CB radio, linear amplifier, and radar detector were gone. I didn't even open the truck, I could see it had been burglarized without it.

I checked with the security chief for the parking lot and he called the top man for airport security. Apparently they are more efficent after 9/11. I was giving a statement, listing the missing items and giving the serial numbers that my CB man had provided in a list when I bought them when a normal security flunky made probably the stupidest statement in his life, so far.

"You can't claim that stuff was stolen, it ain't even legal. That radio was modified to talk on the CB channels and that ain't legal," he said, seeming proud of himself.

It took about three point five microseconds for the head man over all security at the airport to realize he had found the thief, but the head man over long term parking security needed almost three quarters of a second to figure it out. They had the culprit under citizen's arrest, in cuffs and handy leg irons when the Shreveport Police showed up to haul him away.

After he was gone the head of airport security finished taking down the information, including the prices for the equipment and the charges for installation. Then he told me I would probably be getting a check within a week or two from the long term parking's insurance company.

I thanked him and told him I would be opening the hood of my truck to retrieve my spare radar detector before I left. I offered to show him the serial number on it, but he declined, saying he didn't doubt me.

On the way home I was in a bad mood since this would further delay the camping trip I had been wanting to take. I called my CB man and explained I would need a replacement, being careful this time to let him know I only needed one new radio and one new linear amplifier. He asked about the antenna but thankfully it hadn't been molested.

I nearly had him ship them to me, since I thought I could replace them myself, but I decided against it. No need to scrimp on Junior's part of the action. Junior and his father probably wouldn't be all that mad at the thief.

I called my CB man back and made sure that Junior would be available to install the new equipment. He assured me he would and I said I'd be up there in the morning.

I'd just finished a shower and was about to climb into bed for a few more hours sleep when my phone rang. It was my mule man from Missouri and no doubt my CB man had told him I was heading their way.

My mule man had made a remarkable deal for four of the finest mules he'd ever come across. Naturally, I was the first one he thought of when he came into possession of the fine animals, and he wondered if I'd be up in his neck of the woods anytime soon. He thought I should at least take a look at them and he'd be happy to hold them for a week or two if it took that long for me to schedule a trip.

I was pretty sure he must know damned well I'd be up there tomorrow, but I didn't call his hand on it. The Borax commercial started playing in the back of my mind, and though I kept telling myself I had no earthly need for twenty mules, I heard myself tell him I just happened to be coming up tomorrow.

"Well, brang a few of those other mules with ya and we can do some tradin' if you don't need to hold on to all of 'em," he said.

I know living so long in Las Vegas could give one an unnatural view of the world, but I had been born and raised in Texas after all. At least I knew enough to know the one way to get fucked even deeper than when buying a horse or mule was to try trading a horse or mule.

"No thanks, I'm working on a little project and I'm sure I'll be able to work the new mules in, if I like them. I won't be getting rid of any of my current stock," I said, explaining without really explaining.

One thing I made sure not to do - I was not about to tell him I might end up with twenty mules.

With the few hours sleep on the plane, and a few I got after getting home, I was able to leave for Springfield about two AM and I made it into my CB man's front yard by nine the next day.

Everything was ready when I got there and it didn't take Junior twenty minutes to have it all set up, including checking the SWR. Junior was amazed when I paid him the same as I had for the first installation. I did forego the gratuity this time though.

I figure that things must have happened too fast for his father to think up another move like the casual Radar Detector display he pulled off last time. I did buy another one to replace the spare I was now using.

Afterward I was off to see my mule man.

I'll have to admit these mules were even bigger, healthier looking, stronger, and even more well mannered seeming than any I'd bought so far. I'd come expecting to get some more that probably matched the quality of those I already had. I was actually thrilled to get these four.

"These are indeed excellent mules. Do you know where you can find more like them?" I asked.

"Well, yes and no. I know the old man what raised 'em and he does have more. Trouble is, it's like he's sellin' one of his kids when he lets one go. I practically had to beg him for these four and he made me promise I'd only sell 'em to folks I knew personally would take good care of 'em," my mule man said, and seemed almost embarrassed about it.

"Well, the next time you talk to him, tell him I'm pleased beyond words with his mules. If he's worried about the way I might treat them I'll be glad to pay for his trip to my home so he can see I give them the best of care so he won't be afraid to let me buy more," I said.

"I'll do it, but I know what his main problem is. His mules are so big and strong he just can't get away from feeling like folks works 'em too hard," my mule man said.

I couldn't help it. I laughed right in his face and I had a hard time stopping. With the way he looked at me, almost as if he were mad, I laughed even harder.