Chapter 4

The rest of my trip home was uneventful, and the new mules didn't give me any trouble when I unloaded them and turned them out into the pasture with the others. None of the normal squealing and kicking that goes on when horses make new acquaintances.

Taped to the kitchen entry door inside my garage I found a notice UPS had been by to deliver a package. It said they would be back by tomorrow to try again. It had to be either the two packsaddles for my new mules or the mobile satellite tv antenna and Directtv/TiVo receiver for my camping gear. I could wait.

Even though I wanted to take all my horses and mules over to the next nearest small town to have their shoes checked or replaced by my favorite farrier the next day, I put it off so I could be there to receive my package from UPS.

It didn't arrive until four PM, but I was lucky since by this time both shipments had appeared and I got them at same time. It meant I was free for the farrier the next day and so I called him and everything was set.

Everything was set until the next morning when I realized I now had four mules and three horses to haul in a six-horse trailer. I knew the farrier had a pen which could hold them while they waited for his attention, so I took the mules and both mares over, unloaded them, and put them in the pen and then came back for the stallion.

When I got back he was done with the mares, so I put the stallion in the pen with the mules and put the mares back in the trailer. I stayed around for about half an hour while he took care of the stallion and I loaded him up for a trip home too.

By the time I'd unloaded the mares and the stallion and made my way back to the farrier, three of the mules had been done and I only had to wait for him to finish the last mule. And so it goes.

The next morning I set out to cure the trailer problem. I knew there was a large horse trailer dealer in Shreveport, and I made for it. I hadn't been there twenty minutes before I saw a really nice ten-horse trailer, possibly unfortunately, they didn't have any very nice eight-horse trailers, but I loved this one. It was all enclosed and even had some nice chrome trim and a fairly nice paint scheme. I had to have it.

I'd paid for the trailer and was backing up to let one of the attendants help me hook it up. He shouted for me to stop while I was still five feet from it.

"I hate to mention problems at this late date mister, but you bought a goose neck trailer and you don't have a goose neck hitch," the attendant said.

"Well kiss my ass," I said.

"We could put ya one on in the shop, probably bout three fifty," the attendant said.

There was nothing else to do. I wasn't going to let the lack of a three hundred and fifty dollar trailer hitch keep me from taking my twenty thousand dollar show-horse trailer home. Luckily they were able to get right on it.

I made it home before dark, but there was really no problem. The men at the horse trailer lot had made sure all of the trailer's running lights, license plate light, and brake lights worked perfectly when they installed the hitch and new hundred dollar wiring harness. They even guaranteed the old bumper hitch wiring harness would still work fine.

I didn't even unhook the new trailer, because the salesman had bragged so about how much better I'd like it that I was determined to try it out tomorrow, with a full load, except for the three empty spots I didn't have horses or mules to fill.

Bright and early the next morning I went out and loaded all my stock into the new trailer. It went off without a hitch. Then I was off down the road again and I noticed my half-ton pickup with the economy engine didn't pull my new, mostly loaded, ten-horse horse trailer worth a shit. It was hard to decide whether the dog was wagging the tail or the tail was wagging the dog, either way, the wagging was sluggish.

So the next morning I went to the dealership in town in search of a new, bigger, pickup. A salesman descended on me as soon as I was in the lot, and I wondered if he hadn't run from the time he first saw me pull off the main highway.

In seconds he was showing me Chevy Silverados in the one-ton size, and he saved the best for last. It had an extended crew cab, and a full size eight-foot bed, the biggest engine and four-wheel drive, except in reality it had six-wheel drive because the rear axle had dual wheels, but I didn't argue. Wonder of wonders it came with a gooseneck hitch already installed.

I told him it was the one I wanted and I'm sure he was getting cranked up for the trading, but I wasn't doing any trading. I didn't really need two pickups, but neither did I need to drive the one-ton around all the time when I wouldn't be pulling the horse trailer very often.

I wrote him a check, but only with the understanding they were responsible for making all the trailer light hookups conform to the ones on the pickup I had already. He said they would.

While they were doing the final service and preparation on my new truck, I took my old one and brought both the goose neck and the bumper hitch trailers to the lot so I could make sure the lying bastards had the light hookup right before I left. I may not know much about dealing with mule traders or CB men, but I did know they'll fuck you in a heartbeat at a car lot.

In what can only be called one of life's little mysteries, they got it exactly right the first time. They did try to get me to let someone else drive one of the trucks to my house, but I made them have someone follow me while I took the half ton and the bumper hitch trailer home and then bring me back to get the one ton and the goose neck trailer, and the lights still worked when I got them home.

Thinking I was nearly ready for another weekend of camping, I went to sleep that night, mostly at peace with the world.

I spent the next day trying out the new mule harness, learning how to set up my mobile Directtv/TiVo and then figuring out what I could carry with two more mules and then how to pack it most efficiently.

I even worked on it again all the next day, until I had it down pat. No doubt about it, all systems were go for a camping trip this weekend. Then it hit me - I didn't have a CB in my new truck.

Of course I wouldn't really need it until I had to haul all, or most of my horses and mules at the same time, but then again I'm the type of guy who likes to get ready for eventualities.

I whipped out my cell phone to call my CB man, and after I explained the problem of the new truck and no CB in it he put his son on the line. I explained things again and asked him if he could install another setup in the new truck tomorrow, if I got up there early.

"Why shor, no problem. Want me to put in that spare one you bought before?" he asked.

I had to think about it for a second. It made sense, but if I did it I wouldn't have a spare anymore, and to tell the truth I'd found I liked listening to the thing and I even thought of it as learning a foreign language.