Chapter 16

Jim had already given up on trying to keep track of what was happening. I asked him if it was too confusing.

"It is if you try to keep up with them. I've switched back to truck driver mode. I'm just going to stand around, try to keep quiet, and wait for one of them to tell me something I need to do. It's safer all around," he said.

"Safer?"

"Sure, I learned the best way to get along with a woman years ago. Just be sure to listen carefully when she's telling you something, and then try to do exactly what she wants you to do, exactly the way she suggests you do it," Jim said.

He had a definite point there. No doubt, with four wives helping, I could have tumbled to the same conclusion on my own in a few years, but Jim had saved me a lot of hard work. I thanked him for sharing his advice.

We managed to get the wisdom transfer completed just slightly before the miniature hen party was done. We'd barely shaken hands over it when Jerrilyn turned to us and asked Jim if we could get moving. Jim was agreeable, but he said I should get in the truck with him so he could explain how to hook the trailer.

Hooking the trailer was both more complicated and less trouble than I expected. In the first place, actually getting the truck and trailer joined was a lot simpler than hooking a pickup to a gooseneck trailer. Simpler after I learned to back by mirrors that is.

It sounds easy and simple - just look in the mirror and back up. It isn't that simple or easy. Heretofore, when backing up, I had given cursory glances in the mirror and then promptly turned around and looked out the back window. If I tried it now I got an excellent view inside my new giant sleeper. It took a little while to even act like I was backing by mirrors, and this was with only the tractor to worry about.

You didn't have to worry about backing the tailgate into the trailer and ruining it and you didn't have to be particular about the height of the trailer. Finally I was lined up to hook the trailer and only had to back straight back until I did.

With the real fifth-wheel the new truck had locking onto the trailer was almost automatic. As long as the trailer was lower than the fifth-wheel, the truck and the design of the fifth-wheel lifted the trailer to the proper height and the connection was made.

Jim's only warning was to be sure the trailer was never higher than the fifth-wheel when I started to make the connection. He then explained about high-hooking the trailer's kingpin and then told me it probably wouldn't ever come up and surely wouldn't as long as the fifth wheel was higher than the trailer.

Hooking up airlines and the pigtail were simple also. The pigtail would only go one place and one way - the air connections were color-coded. Shortly after the connections had been made Jim showed me how to roll up the landing gear with its handy hand crank and the women piled into the sleeper. Jim told me to get behind the wheel while he took the passenger seat.

The truck place had a big lot and Jim wanted me to do some navigating around on it. My first bit of instruction was learning the shift pattern. It was not trivial since it involved both sticks some of the time. He had me practice over and over with the engine off until I had a good handle on shifting five gears with one handle and then shifting the other handle one position and starting over again with the first one, at the same time.

It seemed easy at the time, but I later learned the shifting two gear selection levers at the same time meant exactly that. While moving down the road I had to learn to let go of the wheel, let off the accelerator for a beat, and then move both levers into their new position at once. Fucking this part up left the transmission between gears and required a hell of a lot of work and much gear grinding to get back to where I had been before the fuckup. I'll admit that I often had to slow down to a stop to get going again, but most of the gear shifting came later.

Next I got a lesson on working the clutch. I learned it was only used to start from a dead stop, whether forward or backward. At least it was easy to operate since all I had to do was make sure my foot was not on the accelerator and I just had to let the clutch out, fairly rapidly. It did have a peculiarity though. Before putting the transmission in low gear I had to make sure to put the clutch pedal all the way to the floor or the gears would make a grinding noise.

"When you mash the clutch to the floor it activates the clutch brake. It's just a little disk type brake around the transmission input shaft and when you mash it causes the input shaft to stop rolling. It lets the gears in the transmission come to a stop and lets them mesh as you work the levers. Never push it all the way to the floor while the truck is moving. If you do you'll burn out the clutch brake right away.

"I'll show you one if you remind me. It's only about a quarter inch thick and three inches in diameter. There's no way in hell it can stop the tractor alone and sure as hell it won't even slow a loaded truck down. If you try it you'll just smear it off and need to get it replaced. Replacing a clutch brake requires removing the transmission since it's one piece and has to fit over the input shaft," Jim said, and I believed him.

"Don't side step the pedal, but you can go ahead and get off of it right away. You don't give it any fuel until your foot is completely off the clutch pedal and the truck is rolling. You also don't need to use it to shift gears. The real shifting lessons will come later," Jim said.

My lesson continued with me putting it in gear and letting off the clutch to get us started. It was tough sledding at first, since I was not accustomed to dealing with a clutch, but I guess I caught on quickly enough.

After I was at least reasonably familiar with moving around at parking lot speeds, Jim took over the driving and headed us back to Vegas. I was glad, because I'd had about all the driving lesson I wanted for today. Little did I know.

After we were through Barstow, on our way back, Jim let his seat down a little, and then slid it back.

"Ok, the cruise control is set and we're in top cog, stand between the seats and move back far enough for me to get out of the driver's seat," he said.

"What for?"

"So you can sit down and get used to driving. There's pretty much nothing to it on the big road and it'll make you more comfortable with the truck."

I was a little leery of this maneuver even though the girls and I had done it's equal in the one ton. This was not a one-ton though and the bull rack (the girls had told me what our trailer was called) was not a gooseneck - it was forty-eight feet long for God's sake, but I complied.

It was almost too easy. Jim stood between the seats, practically straddling the twin gearshift levers. He stooped a little, keeping his eye on the road and driving with his left hand. For a few seconds there we were cruising down the highway, at seventy miles per hour, and with no one in the driver's seat.

I sat down and Jim had me put my hands on the wheel, then he let go and sat in the passenger seat.

"Nothing to it," he said, "After a few lessons we'd better get the women to practice it too."

I was pretty sure Jim had already figured out the women also wanted to learn to drive, but I didn't tell him and I didn't respond to his comment. I wouldn't have had time to anyway, since laughter started up back in the peanut gallery.