Chapter 7

Ben heard the sound of a key releasing the deadbolt. The door opened and Molly stepped into the apartment. He approached her, embraced her and they kissed. "Did you have a good day at work?" he asked.

"Mmm..." She nodded. "Not bad. How was yours?"

"I made my deadline."

"You were up all night. You must be exhausted."

"It's my style. I do my best work when up against a deadline. That way I work harder, but fewer hours."

"Just as long as you don't fall asleep on me," she remarked.

"Oh, I won't..." He traced her full lips with his finger. "I think I fell in love with your lips."

"Ben -- you are too much. Why do you like them so?"

"Because they give your face a look of innocence and wholesomeness. It struck me the other day who has lips like yours -- Scarlett Johansson."

Molly glanced at the ceiling. "You might be right."

"Her face is more angular than yours, but her lips are the same. You're such a beautiful woman, Molly. Did I ever tell you how good you look in your suit?"

"Probably. Right now I want to get out of it." She stepped into her bedroom and emerged in jeans and a cotton blouse. "Now that it's warmer outside, it's cooler inside," she remarked.

"I figured out why your place is so warm when it's really cold," he replied. "This apartment -- and, my old one -- are both on the feed side of the hydronic system -- we're closest to the furnace. I'll bet the ones on the return side are downright chilly."

"Why don't they fix it?" she asked. "They must be wasting heat."

"It's an old building. Probably fixing it is more expensive than just living with it." He gestured to the dining table. "We're all set for our three-month anniversary dinner. Actually, anniversary is the wrong word -- it has at it's root the French word an, which means year. It's actually our third monniversary." He twirled a bottle sitting in an ice bucket, then removed the foil, popped the cork and poured two glasses of bubbly.

Molly sat across from him. "Look at this," she remarked. "Candles ... Champagne..." She looked down at a plate covered with a stainless-steel dome. "What's this?"

"Open it up."

She lifted the dome. "Filet mignon?"

"Done just how you like it -- by the experts at Ernie's catering."

"This is so special, Ben. What are we going to do for our first anniversary?"

Ben smiled and lifted his eyebrows. He lifted his glass and clinked its rim on hers. "To us."

"To us." She cut a piece of her steak. "Oh, this is delicious. I skipped lunch ... I've been skipping lunch."

"You still can't bear to go into that sandwich shop?" he asked. "You haven't found another place?"

She shook her head. "I told you, it'll take me a long, long time to get over that incident. Maybe I never will. There are a couple fast-food burger places but I don't need all that grease. My other choice is to brown-bag it, but we don't have a lunchroom at the office. It's good, actually. I think I'm losing weight."

"It's not good to skip lunch, Molly. And, you're not overweight."

"This dinner will put it back on."

"So," he said. "It's been three months. What's your assessment?"

"Oh, Ben -- four stars. It's been wonderful. My folks like you. My mom took me aside and said she was flabbergasted when I told her I was involved with a man."

"I thought you said they didn't know."

"She suspected. After all, I never dated in high school, and never mentioned a boyfriend in college. I was not about to mention my girlfriends."

"Having me share your apartment doesn't cramp your style?"

"Not at all. I'm not home most of the time. We consolidated the best of our furniture. I like having a real sofa and I love having your video system."

"And I like having a queen-sized bed instead of a full. I don't need much space -- just a place to plug in my laptop. Instead of the two of us paying twenty- four hundred a month for two apartments, we're paying thirteen hundred for one and a storage unit. That difference can go toward a nicer place for the two of us once your lease is up."

He bussed away their dinner plates. "For dessert..." He set dessert plates holding glass dishes piled with chocolate mousse.

"This is wonderful."

"By the way, I have some news. Next month I have to attend a writer's conference in San Francisco. I'd love it if you could attend with me. It's three days -- Tuesday through Thursday. We could fly out Monday and have a three-day weekend there."

"What dates?"

"The seventh through the ninth."

She thought. "Oh, Ben -- I can't. We're having our annual partners' meeting at the firm and I need to be there for it."

He sighed. "Maybe next time."

"Are you giving a workshop this year?"

"No -- I'm just attending."

"Then you really don't need to go."

"It's an important networking opportunity for me. There'll be literary agents and publishers' reps there. It's a good opportunity for some face time with these people. I can't afford not to." He reached across the table for her hand. "I really would've liked to have you accompany me."

"I know -- I'm disappointed, too. I've never been to San Francisco. I've heard it's a beautiful city."

He picked up her empty dessert plate. "It is. I think it's this country's version of Paris. I can't decide whether Boston or San Francisco is my favorite destination."

Ben sat on the sofa. Molly pressed her hand against her belly. "It was a wonderful dinner. I'm so full," she said. "It feels really good, though ... I like how a nice dinner feels in my stomach, especially after being so hungry all afternoon."

"Are you ready to do something to work off all those calories?"

She sat on his lap. "I thought you'd never ask." He kissed her lips. "Oh, Ben -- I love you so much!"

Ben stood at the kitchen counter reviewing a cookbook. He heard the doorbell ring and went to the intercom. "Yes?"

Who's this? came a female voice through the speaker.

"Who's this?" he replied.

Is Molly in?

Ben pondered for a moment. "Who wants to know?"

It's Brittney. Brittney Ochs.

"Brittney -- this is Ben. We spoke on the phone a few weeks back."

I remember. I really want to see Molly. She won't return my calls ... I think she has my number blocked. I tried getting a new cell number ... She won't talk to me.

"She's healing from an emotional wound," Ben replied. "I don't think she has any desire to re- open it."

I understand that, and I'm so, so sorry. Ben heard sniffling through the circuit. I'm not a bad person, Ben. I've lost a lot of sleep since that night. I thought if I could just talk to her...

"She's working late tonight," he replied. "I don't expect her for another hour or so." He paused to think. "Why don't you come on up. You and I can talk." He pressed the button to unlock the front door. He heard her footfalls in the corridor and let her into the apartment.

He regarded her. She was of medium height, slender with neck-length, medium brown hair she had lightened and streaked blond. She had thin lips and a straight nose that was slightly off-center. Her light brown eyes looked abnormally small due to the thick-lensed, wire-frame glasses she wore. "Come in," Ben said. "Have a seat."

Brittney looked around the apartment. "You and Molly live together?"

"Yes -- not that it's any of your business."

"I hadn't realized she was bi..."

Ben sat across from her at the kitchen table and regarded her. "Brittney -- Something's been bothering me."

"What's that?"

"What were you thinking that night? What ... were you thinking?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. Everything happened so fast with her. I was smitten, Ben. There's something about her and I fell for her hard. She has this ... I don't know ... odd blend of innocence and raw sensuality..."

Ben nodded. "Tell me about it," he remarked.

"I didn't know. I didn't know about her experience -- I had no idea she had been raped. If I had..." Brittney took off her glasses, buried her face in her hands and sobbed. "When she ran out that night I knew I had done something horribly, horribly wrong. I'm desperate to make it up to her, Ben. If I could only talk to her -- tell her how sorry I am. I know I've probably lost her forever as a lover. I'd like to keep her as a friend. Is that really so awful?"

"Have you ever been raped?" Ben asked.

"No, no, thank God. I've been in a couple of dicey situations but I've always gotten out of them."

"I know I can never fully comprehend what it's like to be a woman who's the victim of such a vile crime. Molly has told me what happened to her when she was thirteen. It makes my blood boil every time I recall it."

"It must've been horrible for her. Ben -- you have to understand. I don't have a lot of experience with this sort of thing, either. I've only had one other partner, and she was a much more experienced lesbian..."

"She must've been into the rough stuff," Ben remarked.

Brittney nodded. "Yes ... and I guess I developed a taste for it, too."

"Molly needs it soft. She's really quite fragile."

She nodded again. "I understand that, now. Like I said, I'm not expecting to resume what we had started." Brittney's tears began flowing again. "I just want her to know how sorry I am, and I wish we could remain friends."