Chapter 3

I didn't come up with any brilliant ideas on how to change the young Chris Walker's future. The major obstacle was I needed to save myself first. How could I expect to teach Chris to stand up if I couldn't do it?

I could be different. The kids in my classes saw I was different. Nurse Amy could tell I was different. I could do this! I could be someone else! I technically already was.

I knew where to start on Monday.

I showed up to school wearing a t-shirt with Prince's 1999 album cover art printed on it. I recalled a store that would close in a few years sold music t-shirts. They specialized in avant-garde shirts and albums and particularly heavy metal but they had plenty of new wave too. The store would fade away when the popularity of the music did. I also picked up Wang Chung, Duran Duran, Van Halen, and Talk Talk t-shirts plus a couple of albums. Students wouldn't know who Wang Chung and Talk Talk were but each band would have a hit song later in the year so it would look like I was ahead of the curve to the students who always felt they had to be on the cutting edge of new music. It was weird buying cassettes again. Wearing a t-shirt and jeans made me look a lot like the students. All I needed to do was grow my hair out and I'd look like a student from a distance. Close up, I couldn't hide my age.

I waited five minutes before I headed to the teachers' lounge during the lunch break. The man and the woman who so unceremoniously sent me off to eat alone last week sat at the table with three other teachers. I recalled their names over the weekend. The man was Mr. Spangler, the physics teacher and the woman was Mrs. Barlow. She taught freshman English. Spangler was in his late 30s and Barlow was in her late 20s. She was a shapely, attractive woman. Sitting with them were Mrs. Granger in her mid 50s. She was the family life and sex ed teacher which still seemed inappropriate considering her appearance and age. Also at the table were Mr. Burton, a math teacher, in his late 40s and Mrs. Flagstone, an old, feisty lady who taught college prep English. Chris would take her class next year as a senior.

There was one empty chair at their table.

I inhaled deeply, forced a smile on my face, and walked over. I might get beat down but I had to change things and it just might take a few defeats before people gave me respect. I pulled out the chair.

"John?" Mr. Spangler said surprised.

"How you doing?" I casually said, preparing to sit down.

"What are you doing?"

"Sitting?"

"But..." Mrs. Barlow said.

"You're sitting," I quickly pointed out.

"Look," said Spangler sternly, "you know this table is not for you."

"Just because this is a high school doesn't mean we have to act like the students," I retorted. The cliques were the worst part of high school. "We can get along and be civil with each other."

"Why do you want to eat in here now?" whined Barlow.

"Why can't we be friends?" I asked in response and prepared to sit.

"John!" said Spangler coarsely, rising from his chair.

"What?" I said annoyed. I straightened up. He sure was irritating.

"You know how we feel about you?"

"What is that and do you speak for everybody?" I shot back. I could actually see him fume.

He didn't answer so I began to sit down again. I felt a hard push on my right arm. I fell inelegantly to the ground landing hard on my butt, straining my back, and finally banging my head against the carpet. The carpet was thin so it felt like my head hit concrete.

"Stephen!" Barlow said.

"He had it coming, Caroline," Spangler said.

I was in pain, but I felt wonderful. I liked that I triggered a response from Spangler. It was so unlike me. I liked that I was now John Coleman and I could redefine who I was.

"Real nice, big bully!" I shouted. "Caroline? Do you really want to have an affair with a man who hits people? Does he hit you?"

"You little sh-!" shouted Spangler. He cocked his leg to kick me.

"Stephen!" Caroline yelled.

Spangler stopped. I was glad because I didn't want to get a kick in the ribs to add to my pain.

"You aren't worth the trouble!" Spangler spat. "Come on, Caroline!"

Spangler and Barlow gathered their stuff and headed out. As they left, Caroline looked down at where I still lay. I gave her a thumbs up and a big smile.

When they were gone, I gingerly got up and sat in the chair. The fall hurt worse now.

"Are you okay?" Mrs. Flagstone hesitantly asked.

"Yeah," I said, forcing a smile. "So how is the most popular teacher in school doing?"

Flagstone lightly blushed which surprised me.

"The kids think I'm just an old biddy."

"And they're right," I said, bringing raised eyebrows from Granger and Burton, "but the kids love that you're willing to challenge them. You have their respect."

"That's nice of you to think so."

"It's true. The same with Mr. Bell." He was the chemistry teacher.

"So what's happened to you, John? You're not you," Granger asked with a friendly smile.

"Let's just say I had something akin to a near-death experience and I've come back a new man."

"What was that like?" Granger showed genuine interest.

"I can't really explain it yet. I will tell you when I've got it figured out."

"Oh." She was obviously disappointed.

"Tell me," I said, changing the subject. "What does Barlow see in Spangler?"

"Stephen's a smooth talker," said Burton.

It was going to take time to get used to calling the teachers by their first name. I had to remember that I was a teacher too.

"Caroline's only been married for a few years," Granger said. "She's going to mess it up."

"So why go with Spang ... Stephen?" I said.

"He's a ladies man," Burton said.

"Or thinks he is," cracked Flagstone, causing the other two to laugh.

Granger said, "Stephen is persistent when it comes to women. He's dated about every pretty teacher here. He doesn't care if she's married or not."

"He's married too," Burton added.

"Yes, but he doesn't care about his wife and she's too afraid to leave him," Granger said. "Caroline stays with him because she's not willing to stand firm with her 'no'."

"So why are you friends with Stephen?" I followed up.

"We're not," Burton said.

"Can't stand him," said Flagstone.

"He really is a bully like you said," said Granger.

"He doesn't hide his affairs," said Burton, "but he doesn't like it pointed out."

"You didn't answer my question," I said. "Why eat with him if you don't like him?"

"We're friends with Caroline," Granger said.

"I see," I said, taking it all in. "Could I ask you another question?"

"Sure."

"Is that how you see me? Someone unlikeable?"

Flagstone said, "This is the most we've ever talked to you."

"You really do seem to be a different person," Granger commented.

Burton said, "We thought you were a reclusive jerk incapable of having a normal conversation."

"I probably was," I said. I still might be that reclusive jerk, but I internally fought against it.

"If you've changed then I'm glad to finally meet you," said Flagstone.

"Thank you..." I stopped. It was too formal to call them by their last names. I was their peer now. "I'm sorry but I sadly can't remember your first names. I really was a jerk as you said."

"I didn't mean to sound so harsh," Burton said. "Sorry."

"Hey, it was the truth. Don't be sorry about that." I looked at Mrs. Flagstone. "You're name is... ?"

"Alice," she said.

"Janet," Granger said.

"Bill," Burton lastly said.

"It's good to finally have some friends," I said. I hoped it was true.

As I checked out in the administration office at the end of the day, Principal Simmons stopped me.

"I need to talk to you," he said.

"Sure. Go ahead."

"We should talk in my office."

"Why? You firing me?" I joked.

"It's important."

"I don't care if everyone hears," I said, waving my hand toward the various admin assistants and support staff. The floor layout was open desks. Semi-private cubicles hadn't reached the school yet.

"I don't want to argue out here."

"Why would I argue?"

"It's about being a lunch monitor."

"What about it? Did I forget? My name wasn't on today's assignment."

"You pleaded out of it," Simmons said.

"I did?"

"You do it every year." He sounded exasperated.

"I do?"

"I heard about the incident in the teacher's lounge," he said, changing to a new topic.

"I promise to beat up Stephen next time," I cracked. "He was lucky."

"You shouldn't be fighting. We're role models to the students."

"He hit me first!" I joked.

"This is serious. Stephen is insisting you be added to lunch monitor duty."

"Go ahead," I said, shrugging.

"Just like that?" he said incredulous.

"Sure."

I saw the connection now. If I was busy as a lunch monitor, Stephen could guarantee that once or twice a week I would be out of the teacher's lounge.

"Okay," he said slowly.

"How about tomorrow?" I said so Simmons would know I was serious.

I was nervous about the idea and my first thought was that I didn't want to be a lunch monitor but that was what the old John Coleman and the adult Chris Walker would do. I had to do the opposite of my instincts until I created new instincts in my body and soul.