Chapter 5

"You're allowed to say it hurts when it does," Kayetti said.

"Just hurry with the skin melt, please," Ferro whispered. "The sooner it's done, the sooner I can sleep."

He sucked in his breath as she applied the fixative to a cut just above his bellybutton.

"This was my worst mistake today, and the pain is excruciating," Ferro said between pressed lips.

He held his head back as the tears dripped out of the corners of his eyes. "Doyan may be ancient and confined to a chair, but damn it all, that woman still knows a thousand ways to hack a body to pieces. Despite her age she is still brilliant."

"The weapons master has trained most of us," Kay said, "and all of us have come to realize her gifts to us over the years. It is a great honor to be trained by her, especially as an outsider."

"This knife fighting, is it genius or madness?" Ferro asked.

"In the middle of a knife fight, does it matter?" Kay said.

"To me it doesn't matter," Ferro said as he hissed with pain. "However, to you and Family Volentin, who were raised fighting, the question makes a serious difference. I don't think I'll never be more than adequate. Maybe I'll be capable of holding my own for a few minutes against real warriors. For you, the fight is an intricate dance of strengths and weaknesses, of attack and retreat. I can see that beyond a certain point of skill, the fight becomes a mental challenge of who can outthink the other. The one with the mental advantage wins. The question remains is this advantage genius or madness."

Kay put away the med kit and closed the cabinet door.

"You have been here only three weeks, and already you have this insight. What do you think is the answer?"

The door opened behind him.

"I think it depends upon the enemy," he said.

"Doyan tells me you were hesitant to strike today," Benni said.

Ferro didn't turn around even though he wanted to do so. First, the skin melt was still hot, and second, his new hyperawareness was reminding him to move only when necessary.

"Only once, and I paid dearly for the mistake. I don't think you've bled all of the stellar civilization out of me yet, but I'm optimistic."

"Ah, the sound of bravado," Benni said. "Tomorrow's cuts will be deeper."

"He wants to know if the heart of a knife fight is genius or madness," Kay said.

"The genius of a fight is knowing when to let the madness take over, to allow your world to bleed red as the knife slams into the target body with that sucking 'kachunk' of brutal strength." Benni gave Ferro a sad smile. "You have no idea what it's like to be frustrated trying to pull a knife out of a dying body so that you can thrust again into another one. To be able to use your own hands, your own mental agility, to create your fate is the ultimate freedom of the mind."

"You sound bloodthirsty," Ferro said as he slid off the table. "I've no doubt that your philosophy works for you."

Benni chuckled. "This isn't my philosophy, engineer; this is a telling of a brief moment in my life. I was angry at Doyan at the time for not letting me get deeper into the fight. She created me but denied me a fully-realized blood frenzy. Of course, she was right."

"Why am I training under her tutelage?" Ferro asked. "I'm not Volentin and will never be as good as most of you."

"You are learning and doing it quickly; this is what counts," Benni said. "Doyan asked to train you, even though she must fight the dulling effects of her medications."

"I am truly honored, but that doesn't answer the question," Ferro said.

Benni turned to Kay. "He is learning our ways quickly, Kayetti. I am pleased."

He turned back to Ferro, "Think like an engineer for a moment. In three weeks you have gained the basics of knife fighting Volentin style. You have learned well enough to intuit some of its principles. You have also studied warships and drawn them at your fancy school. Do any of the ships you've seen or drawn conform to our fighting style?"

"No, they lack balance and flexibility," Ferro said, chewing his lip. "The Pinnock series of fighters would actually retard you ability to attack and the Nimrod class cruisers are better at pounding a planet than fighting another more-versatile ship. A smart enemy could dance around them."

Benni gave him a sad smile. "This is why Doyan trains you. For your correct answers, I will give you two free hours tomorrow at the end of your training day. Maybe you can find a nice woman to fuck."

"What do I have to trade?" Ferro said, terrified of being turned loose into a ship full of extraordinarily violent people. "I'm just a guest."

"Quiyo said you were well focused and gave her a better time than her usual lovers," Kay said, standing off to his side.

Ferro blushed and stared at his feet. "Close quarters is one thing, but everyone knowing how I fuck is a bit beyond my comfort zone."

Benni gave a good belly laugh. Without saying another word, he walked out of the infirmary still laughing.

Ferro turned back to Kay. "Seriously, I can face a knife without quaking after three weeks of training. I can even manage to walk the corridors of the main level if I steel myself. However, having to trade for sex with your brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, and myriads of cousins terrifies me."

"Are you scared because they are strangers?" Kay said.

"I've met strangers wherever I've traveled in my life. It's kind of scary that that every single person on this ship can slit my throat before I can raise a finger. I bet Doyan could drop me even though she is confined to a chair."

"I wouldn't take that bet," Kay said. "Even so, you belong here and you are now a part of Volentin in some significant way. The patriarch didn't grant you a boon, Ferro. He gave you your next challenge. You've learned how to fight Volentin and now you have to learn how to love Volentin. The two concepts are inseparable."

The fatigue behind his eyes was muddling his thoughts.

"Tomorrow I have to go find a lover."

He sounded like he was being ordered to put down his favorite pet.

"Fuck bunny," Kay said.

"Eh?"

"You are not going to find a lover. You are going to find a fuck bunny," Kay said with half a smile. "If you want a lover, you would have to find a heart-friend first, but that takes a long time. We don't use terms like 'lover' or 'wife' or 'husband' in our world; they are lies that hide many deceits."