Chapter 13

Ferro stepped off the lift on the family level. Despite his confrontation with Bernhardt, he was happy for the few minutes he had with his drinking friends and acquaintances from before his new life. The contrast had been revealing and he had much for which to be thankful. He was more confident and less whiny with his friends. At some point in the last years, he had become one of those who complained about their place in the universe but did nothing about it.

"You owe me a shift's worth of sleep," the stern looking guard said across from the lift.

"Sorry," Ferro said automatically. "Was Riata really that bad?"

"Squalled like a baby and beat the shit out of a few inanimate objects," he said. "I hope you don't like modern art. There isn't much of it left on this level."

Ferro thought about tossing out some stereotypical gibe about emotional women or clueless men, but he held back his first impulse.

"Thank you. I take care of it right away."

He walked down the corridor towards his apartment and passed a thin flow of people, all of whom nodded but said nothing. He saw Quiyo. Ferro gave her a quick wave to let her know that he wasn't angry at her and then pressed onward. At his door he stepped inside without hesitation.

"Ree?" he called out.

"I'm in here," she replied from the bedroom.

"Would you come out here? I'd like to talk," Ferro said.

"Talk or apologize"" Riata said, walking out of the bedroom and taking a seat on the couch opposite him.

"I apologized last night. Everything else that happened after my apology is, well, subject to negotiation," Ferro said.

"What do you know about negotiation?" she said with derision in her voice.

"I know that an agreement to be Fuck Bunnies should be null and void after one person puts a knife to the other's throat. I know that you overreacted when I spoke from my heart and you take no responsibility for your actions."

"I..." she started and Ferro stopped her with his hand raised.

"Let me finish, please. Up until this moment you have held the upper hand because I'm the outsider and you're the insider who knows how the family thinks and behaves. You have held that superiority over me from the start and never clued me in. When things between us get uncomfortable, you throw it in my face," Ferro said.

He stood up and flipped the switch that opened the blinds on the window. The glow around the ring was spectacular at the moment. The room was silent.

Ferro looked back at her. "You are an incredible person. I am amazed and humbled that you chose me to be your fuck bunny. I want to be yours, but I cannot be your fuck bunny any longer unless we are equals. I want a new agreement."

"Who says I want a new agreement?" Riata asked with her arms folded across her chest and her legs crossed at the knees.

"Every single person on this level who had to listen to you carry on last night knows how you feel. Apparently every work of art on this level, including the painting on this wall that I liked, knows you want to be fuck bunnies with me," Ferro said.

"You expect me to submit to you?" Riata said, almost spitting out the words.

"If you did, I would lose all respect for you," Ferro said. "I want you to be honest with me. I was willing to apologize for pushing for too much beyond a fuck bunny contract and going too far when I mentioned things from my heart. However, you pushed back too much and too far last night as well. Pulling a knife on me was not necessary. There was no reason to put a knife to my throat. If you didn't know that boundary before, then I am drawing it now."

"Do you think it is easy having an outsider for a fuck bunny?" Riata said, dropping her arms. "You may be buying your way into the family with your ships and gizmos, but you still don't understand us. How many times do I have to apologize for you? How many times do I have to explain what you do to others? How many times do I have to clean up your messes?"

"If they are my messes, then I should be cleaning them up, Ree. When you apologize for me instead of informing me of my mistakes and letting me take responsibility, you are keeping me down. When I'm clueless, please clue me in. The only way I can learn the ways of the family is to make mistakes and correct them. You do me no favors by protecting me," Ferro said.

"Fine, I'll let you fall on your face," Riata said.

"Oh, oh no. If we are going to be fuck bunnies, you are going to let me make my mistakes and then you promise to pick me up and dust me off after I fall down," Ferro said. "I usually don't make the same mistake twice."

"You are embarrassing sometimes," Riata said.

"Am I acting as a fool deliberately?" Ferro asked and when he got a negative reply he continued. "I'm not a perfect package, but I'm good enough to be Volentin. I'm smart enough now to know that I should never accept another knife challenge from Chemung. I'm smart enough now to know that I should only talk about issues of the heart with you alone. I'm smart enough now to build space ships. I'm learning. If you are willing to tolerate my mistakes, I promise to make fewer and fewer of them as time goes by."

"You are such an idealist when you need to be more of a pragmatist," Riata said with a touch of sadness.