Chapter 1

I'm not even quite sure where to start explaining. I wasn't involved in the beginning. It began when my mother made a terrible mistake. I found out about all of this second hand, of course. But I think I have the story straight.

School had just started back in the fall. My brother and I are both attending Benedict Arnold High School. I'm a sophomore. My brother is in the eighth grade. He stayed back a year and attends the intermediate school that is located with the high school.

My father works for an investment firm and my mother works for a Real Estate broker in town. She isn't an agent. She's the office manager.

I don't know how much money they make. We are living pretty well, I guess. We have a nice house and nice cars and all the usual toys. We aren't rich by any means. But when we need anything, or want anything within reason we get it.

Over the summer I worked as a stocker and then as a cashier at a local supermarket. I just turned sixteen and I was focused on getting a car. My parents agreed to match any amount that I put up towards the purchase of my first car. They would put me on their insurance. But I had to pay the cost of taxes and tags. It couldn't be a junker though. It had to be a safe car and dad had to approve the purchase.

Things started to go to hell shortly after a hit and run accident in the parking lot of the building where my mother works. It affected me because, as I learned to my horror a few days later, my mother was the hit and run driver.

She had been leaving the office and was driving much too fast through the parking lot. A kid walked out from between two parked cars and she slammed into him with the right front fender and headlight of her car. She slammed on the brakes, but then she looked around and didn't see anyone so she panicked and took off. I know all of that because I saw the surveillance tape from the camera that was pointed right at her when all that happened.

The reason I saw the tape is that Cody made a copy of it for me. He didn't do it out of the kindness of his heart. Cody is a classmate of mine. His father owns the real estate firm where my mother works. He has always talked down to me because my mother works for his father. For him, that was what determined our relationship. Or at least it did until I started growing boobs. He treated me like crap for years until I started looking like a girl. Then he tried to ask me out. I was not polite when I turned him down and he wasn't happy about it.

My relationship with Cody was less than cordial after that. If he spoke to me at all it was to put me down or call me names. He was not a nice person in the best of times. Now that he held a grudge he made my life unpleasant whenever he got the opportunity. And he frequently went out of his way to create the opportunity.

Anyway, back to the story. Mom hit this kid and panicked. If she had just stopped the car and gotten out it would have been okay. She might have gotten a ticket for driving too fast. But probably not, since she was in a parking lot with no posted speed limit. She took off, leaving the kid lying on the ground unconscious.

As luck would have it, there was only one witness to the accident. That asshole Cody! He was working a couple of days a week for his father to make some extra money and he saw the whole thing. He ran to the little room with the surveillance equipment and replaced the tape with a fresh one. His original intention was to happily give the evidence of my mother's crime to the police when they showed up.

But before he got the chance to do the right thing he had a sudden inspiration. He took the fresh tape out of the machine and pulled a few inches of the tape out. He stuck it back in the machine and pushed record and watched it get all wrapped up in the machine. It would look like whoever had changed the tape in the morning put in a defective tape and didn't notice.

That wasn't enough for Cody though. More about that later.

Mom raced home and put the car in the garage. I wasn't home. My brother, Andy, was up in his room and didn't even know she was home. When my dad got home about an hour later, mom was sitting at the kitchen table crying. It took him a while. But he finally got the story out of her. Then, instead of doing the right thing, he compounded the error.

Half of the local news on television that night was about the accident. The kid was in the hospital. His injuries were serious, but not life threatening. The police were asking for anyone who might have seen anything to come forward.

Andy and I both noticed that our parents were skittish. A couple of times it looked like mom was crying. When I said something she nervously replied that she felt bad for the boy.

The next morning was Friday. Mom went to work as usual. Andy and I went to school. Dad called in sick. We didn't even notice that mom took his car to work. We wouldn't have thought anything of it if we had. We would just have assumed that he was taking her car in for service or something.

That evening, dad didn't come home. Mom explained that he had to go out of town overnight on business. It would come out later that he had taken mom's car to a body shop across the state line, almost two hundred miles away, and given a disreputable old man three times the going rate to repair it overnight.

What he didn't know was that Cody had been playing detective. He had skipped school and followed dad to the body shop. After dad dropped off the car and got a room in a local motel, Cody made the shop owner an offer he couldn't refuse. He bought the damaged parts from my mother's car for a lot of cash and something else he really wanted. I'll explain that later, too. Sorry, I'm just trying to keep this all in order.

When he returned home that evening, Cody had the damaged car parts under a blanket in the back of his SUV. He had the name of the motel where my father spent the night. He had the videotape recording of the accident. He had all he needed to blackmail my parents. The problem was, he had more money than my parents did. His father spoiled him rotten. It wasn't my parents that he wanted to blackmail.

My life came crashing down around my ears that same night. Cody obtained my email address from a mutual friend. He sent me a clip from the videotape and pictures of the car parts under a blanket in the back of his luxury SUV. He had all he needed to put both of my parents in jail. We would lose everything!

I watched that video clip over and over. At first I was sure that he had altered it in some way. Unfortunately, it was remarkably clear for a surveillance tape. I even saw the panic on my mother's face when she realized what she had done, just before she sped away. But more than that, I remembered how distraught my parents were last night and this morning. They insisted that nothing was wrong. But something obviously was very wrong. It had been pretty scary.

It would have been bad enough that my mother was a hit and run driver. But then my father became involved in the cover-up. Cody laid it all out for me in his email. Then he told me that if I didn't want my parents to go to jail and never work again, and if I didn't want my brother and me to be split up and put in foster homes, I would meet him at his house tomorrow at ten o'clock in the morning.

I was terrified. I was terrified about several things. I didn't want my parents to go to jail. I didn't want us to lose everything we owned. I didn't want to live in a foster home and be a charity case. All of those things were very real possibilities. And I was terrified because I knew that Cody was still very mad at me and he was an arrogant little prick who had always been very vindictive. He was a bully and he was spoiled rotten. If I went to his house tomorrow he would no doubt make my life a living hell.

If I didn't, I didn't doubt for a second that he would see to it that my family would lose everything and my parents would go to jail.

I was upset on several levels. I was disappointed with my mother for not doing the right thing at the time of the accident. I was disappointed with my father for covering up for her. I understood why they did what they did. But they had always taught Andy and me the importance of doing the right thing, even when it hurts.

I sat at my computer for the longest time, staring at a picture of car parts in the back of Cody's SUV. I am smart enough to realize what he wants from me. He wants to humiliate me. He wants sex. He might hate me for the way I put him down when he asked me out. But he never really liked or respected me anyway. He always looked down on me because my mother worked for his father.

He may hate me, but he still wants me. I think the main reason he is so focused on having me is because he hasn't been able to. He wants what he cannot have. Or he could not have. It looks like he is going to get what he wants now.

Thanks to five years of competitive gymnastics I was no longer encumbered by a hymen. Those splits took care of that. I am still a virgin. But everyone is going to have to take my word for it. The physical evidence is gone. I started coming home from the gym with spotting in my underwear. When it kept happening I went to my mother. She took me to our doctor and he explained what was happening and assured us that it was a common occurrence among girls who were involved in gymnastics.

I had been involved in gymnastics between the ages of eight and twelve. When I was about twelve and a half I suffered a major puberty attack and my boobs started coming in big time. They never grew to Playboy dimensions. I am sixteen now and I just barely fit into a C cup. But I have always been very slender and they look a lot bigger than they are.

By the time I was thirteen my boobs were becoming a problem in my gymnastics class. I had to give it up, the class, not the boobs. I wasn't all that upset about it. It was very time consuming and I was developing other interests. I was glad I had devoted the time to it that I had, though. I was in great shape and very limber.

I thought about the lengths to which Cody had gone to accumulate evidence against my parents. I thought about the expense. He didn't tell me what he paid for the parts that came off of my mother's car. But he hinted that it had been expensive. He didn't want me to come to his house tomorrow just so that he could ... god, I can't even think it! He wasn't just going to make me do what he wanted to do, and then it would be over. He had something long term in mind and I knew it.

But could I do the things he wanted me to do? Cody was a pretty good looking guy. But he was repulsive on the inside. I hated him. He was a bully. He was cruel as a way of life. He would not make this easy for me. He was going to want to humiliate me to repay me for the humiliating way that I had turned him down when he asked me out. I knew it.

I thought about going to my parents, showing them his email. But he had warned me that if I did he would give everything to the police. Could I live with that? My family would be destroyed. Even if my parents didn't go to jail, we would lose everything by the time it was all over.

I didn't answer his email. He hadn't requested an answer. He had simply demanded that I go to his house tomorrow or life as I knew it would end. I turned my monitor off and changed into my pajamas. I sat on the edge of my bed staring at nothing for a long time. I'm not sure if I was trying to figure out what to do. It was pretty cut and dried. I either went to his house or I didn't. I already knew what would happen if I didn't and I was pretty certain that I couldn't live with that.

I had a good idea what was going to happen if I went to his house tomorrow too. Or I thought that I did. I didn't know exactly. I knew it was going to be about sex. I've never had sex. I've never been naked with a boy, or even been touched through my clothing by a member of the opposite sex. Well, I used to take baths with my little brother until I was about four. I don't think that counts.

I have seen pictures of men naked. My best friend's older sister had a secret stash of Playgirl Magazines and we wore those things out! Unlike some girls I know, I think naked guys are sexy. I haven't seen one up close and personal yet. But I'm looking forward to it. Just not with Cody! God, it gives me the shivers to even think about it.

What makes it even worse is that I know it isn't going to be a onetime thing. I wasn't going to go there tomorrow, let him have sex with me and it would be over. He wouldn't have gone to all of that trouble and all of that expense if it was going to be over that quick. If I went to his house tomorrow, I had to be prepared to be his virtual slave for as long as he wanted me.

I had pretty much made up my mind that I was going. I had no choice. But damn! I wasn't sure I could actually do it. I was shaking just thinking about it. This wasn't going to be easy.

I finally got in bed and turned out my light. But it was a long damn time before I went to sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about what I had to do tomorrow. I couldn't even picture myself doing those things in my mind. Not like that. Not with him. I couldn't see myself going to his house and letting him see me naked and letting him have sex with me. But I knew that I was going to. The alternative was unthinkable.

I did finally get to sleep that night. But it was a troubled sleep. I didn't sleep well and I woke up earlier than usual. I stayed in bed for a few minutes and tried not to think about what I had to do today. But I was too antsy to relax, and I had to go to the bathroom anyway. So I got up and went in and took a shower.

I got dressed, with a lot more thought than I normally put into what I'm going to wear on a Saturday morning. I didn't want to wear anything sexy. There wasn't a chance in hell that I was wrong about what Cody wanted from me. But I didn't want to give him the idea that I was anything other than an unwilling participant. I wore my most conservative underwear, a pair of jeans and a loose fitting t-shirt.

I had never gotten dressed before with the idea that I would be undressing for a boy. I had imagined that it would happen before much longer. I just didn't picture it like this. I kept getting cold chills down my spine when I thought about what I was going to have to do today. Today, and for however long he wanted to drag this out.

I am normally a pretty confident person. I think that all of the time I spent in the gym had a lot to do with that. And my parents had always been good about building self esteem in me and my brother.

But my confidence was slipping fast as the morning seemed to fly by. My mind kept playing with a word. Submit. The very concept was abhorrent to me. The idea of submitting to anyone turned my stomach. But that was what I was going to have to do. Submit. I was going to go to Cody's house this morning and I was going to let him do anything that he wanted to me.

I was going to submit. I couldn't get that concept out of my mind. I felt like I was going to vomit. I had to get my mind off of what I was going to do. Yeah! Right! That was going to happen.

I went back to my room after going downstairs. I realized that I couldn't eat breakfast. I was too scared. I checked my email again. I deleted some spam. I answered a few emails from friends. But there was nothing more from Cody.

I seemed to be checking the time every two minutes. I waited until the last possible minute to leave the house. Cody only lived two blocks away. I didn't bother to take my purse. I put my house key in my pocket and said goodbye to my mom through her bedroom door. She hadn't left her room since early yesterday evening. She mumbled something when I told her I was going out. She didn't even ask where I was going or when I intended to return.

Andy had already gone out to hang out with his friends. I walked out of the house and locked the front door. I turned and headed up the street, feeling much like I imagined a condemned man must feel as he walked towards the gallows.

I walked to Cody's house and stood at the end of the sidewalk, staring nervously at his front door. He lived with his father. His mother had left a long time ago and was apparently smart enough to realize that her kid was not a nice person. For whatever reason, his dad had gotten custody.

I knew his father would be at work today. My mother was normally off on Saturdays. But the office was open and Cody's father worked all day. So Cody was home alone.

I took a deep breath and struggled to remain calm. I didn't want that son of a bitch to know how hard this was for me. I would do whatever it was I had to do. But I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry, or making me beg. I am a stronger person than that ... I hope.

I had the feeling the asshole was watching me. I walked deliberately up to the front door and rang the bell. He made me wait for what seemed like a long time. But that was alright with me. I was in no hurry to go through that door.

He finally opened the front door and leered at me. I mean it. He honest to god leered at me. His eyes crawled over my body without pretense. I could tell from his expression that he didn't approve of the way I had dressed. I took some satisfaction in that.

He finally opened the storm door and asked, "Is your dad back from Monroe yet?"

That was where dad took mom's car to get the body work done.

I shook my head, not ready to trust my voice. I was afraid it would tremble. I didn't want to sound weak. I was afraid of giving him any more power over me than he already had.

He stepped back and let me in. He was wearing an unbuttoned sport shirt and swimming trunks. I couldn't stand the creepy bastard. But there was no denying that he was in good shape. He had a very athletic build. With that and his handsome face he could have been a real catch, if he wasn't so mental. I don't mean he was crazy or anything. He was just not a nice person. He was an arrogant bully. He was repulsive on the inside.

I stood just inside the door while he closed it behind me. Suddenly I felt very shaky. It was happening now. It was no longer an abstract idea. I was about to do it. I was about to submit.

I could feel that my face was red. But there was nothing I could do about that. Maybe he would think it was just from anger. I was certainly mad at him. If he even noticed he didn't care. He looked me over again with that arrogant look that he reserves for everyone at school that he considers to be beneath him. That's pretty much everyone.

He shook his head and said, "I don't care much for the way you're dressed. I'll give you some guidelines before you leave. I probably should have been more specific when I ordered you to come here this morning. I forgot how stupid you were."

I bit my tongue. Anything I could say would only make things worse for me. I was no genius. But I was an A-B student and had been since I started school. In most classes I finished ahead of his sorry ass. But there was no sense antagonizing him. I just stood there silently, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a response. We both knew the truth of the matter.

He said, "Come on," and led me through the house to his backyard. I knew that he had a pool. My parents had been here a couple of times for parties with his father and some friends from the office. My parents had mentioned the pool. I was impressed though. It was a very large, very attractive free form pool. The patio that surrounded it took up most of the backyard. The patio furniture was obviously expensive. Mr. Edwards had spared no expense.

I followed him to the patio table on a separate, raised portion of the deck. It had an awning over it and it was nicer there in the shade. He sat down and I started to join him at the table.

He frowned at me and barked, "I didn't say you could sit down, bitch!"

That pretty much set the tone for the day.

I almost let him have it then. I had to do what he said. We both knew it. We both understood that I had come here to, god I hate to say it, to submit to him. But there was no call for him to talk to me that way!

But I looked at his face and I could see that he was daring me to tell him off. I think that he was disappointed when I kept my mouth shut and remained standing in front of him.

His arrogant grin quickly returned to his face. He said, "It's killing you, isn't it? You want to tell me off so fucking bad! But you can't and it's twisting your guts. It's going to get worse, bitch. First, I'm going to ask you a question. After you answer it we can get started. Are you a virgin?"

Well, there it was. Any doubt about why I was here was gone. I nodded, but then I explained about my hymen. Once again he looked disappointed. Probably because it was a missed opportunity to cause me pain.

But he didn't comment. He paused for a moment and then he said, "I'm going to spell it all out for you, Carin. You already know that your ass belongs to me now. You wouldn't be here if there was any question about that. So I don't want any shit out of you. I am going to make you do things and you are going to hate it. That's just fine with me. I'm going to enjoy it that much more because you are going to hate it. You can put an end to this any time you want. All you have to do is tell me it's all over, or just leave. When you do, I'll deliver the information that I have to the police. The only reason that I haven't already done that is because I knew that I had this option. I'll keep talking. I want you to get undressed while I explain what you are getting into."