Chapter 31: A Lost Chord

Seated one day at the Organ,
I was weary and ill at ease,
and my fingers wandered idly
over the noisy keys.

I do not know what I was playing,
or what I was dreaming then;
but I struck one chord of music,
like the sound of a great Amen.

It flooded the crimson twilight,
like the close of an Angel's Psalm,
and it lay on my fevered spirit
with a touch of infinite calm.

It quieted pain and sorrow,
like love overcoming strife;
it seemed the harmonious echo
from our discordant life.

It linked all perplexed meanings
into one perfect peace,
and trembled away into silence
as if it were loth to cease.

I have sought, but I seek it vainly,
that one lost chord divine,
which came from the soul of the Organ,
and entered into mine.

It may be that Death's bright angel
will speak in that chord again,
it may be that only in Heaven
I shall hear that grand Amen.

"A Lost Chord" By Adelaide Procter (1825-1864)

"Why?"

"I did nothing, child. He has many demons, which he does not acknowledge. Many battles he has left unfought, choosing to hide away in loneliness and solitude. Finding love is something he never believed he would do. The mere fact that you are here with him and love him and he loves you, well, his heart knows he has found it. However, it is in his mind. It is his mind wherein all of his troubles lie. He is an extraordinarily intelligent man, and love is not an equation, nor is it possible to draw a blueprint for love. Love is emotion and therefore, illogical. That frightens him. You responded emotionally to the music, child. As did he at first, I might add. However, as soon as he gave vent to his jealousy, his mind took over from his heart. He felt the music would take you away from him, so he rejected the music. The music became the enemy, but his soul knows better. A battle within ensued and he does not even realize he had no other enemy other than himself. Here, let me take him into the house and he can recuperate while we talk."

The ethereal being who once was her father, bent down and held out his arms to Christine. She allowed the angel to take her husband's limp form into his arms and she smiled tremulously.

"You promise me that no further harm shall come to him? I could not bare it if something were to happen to him."

She unconsciously bit her lower lip and twisted one of her curls around her finger. The angel smiled.

"Christine, I promise."

He lifted the insensate man from the ground, turned and walked into the house with Christine following close behind him. Christine found the house by the lake amazed her with its exactness to the one she had lived in with her father. Everything there was the same, down to the minutest detail. The voice of her angel interrupted her silent reverie.

"He is resting in the bedroom. If he calls out, we shall hear him." He paused for a moment before continuing. "You do realize that it is this way because this is how you remember it, do you not?"

"I beg your pardon?" She sputtered.

"The house, all of these things ... they are the way they are because I drew them from your memory. I thought it would place you at ease being in a familiar place. I believe I explained this to you the last time you visited me."

"Yes, I remember. It still does not make it any less disconcerting. I am uncertain as to why you would believe I would find it comforting. Papa, you do remember you died in this house, do you not? I spent two days alone with you in this house before Madame came for me. Have you truly forgotten how lost and alone I was?" She shook her head sorrowfully. "You can no longer truly be my Papa. You really are the Angel of Music now."

"Yes, child, I can only vaguely remember those times now. I am sorry if I cause you distress, but I know no other way to fulfill my promise to you. The world needs you to hear the music once again. The world needs for you to fill it with your song. Actually, the world needs you and your husband."

She interrupted his words.

"Erik? The world needs his music as well?"

"Yes. Only together can your song truly take wing and soar to the heavens. In order for that to happen, we must heal the hurts of his soul. Are you familiar with the seven deadly sins, child?"

"Of course, Papa ... I mean, yes, Angel. I know what they are. They are Luxuria, Gula, Avaritia, Acedia, Ira, Invidia and Superbia. ¹ Why?"

"Your husband's immortal soul is in danger. He suffers under the sway of all seven of these sins and we must bring him back from the brink of disaster. He cannot find his way to hear the music while under the sway of these sins."

"I do not know what to do. I am not without sin, so who am I to cast the first stone? ²"

Her angel shook his head.

"You misunderstand me, child. It is not with blame that he shall heal, but with love. He needs to learn that one lost chord that holds the key to music in his mind. If he learns that chord, he can unlock the music. Once he accepts the music, then the love shall find the way into his soul, heart and mind."

"And, how shall I go about accomplishing this task?"

"How did you overcome your sins? You suffered under the weight of most of the deadly sins, yet now you are free. What weapon did you use to battle these threats to your immortal soul?"

Christine sighed and stared at the floor. After a time of quiet reflection, she felt the moment of epiphany open her eyes.

"My weapons were hope and faith, Angel. These are the weapons given to me by my Papa."