Chapter 1

It was mid-morning. I was headed back into my office building. Ahead of me was a young woman dragging a suitcase. She had a stack of binders resting against the extended handle and the bundle strapped together with elastic bungee cords.

I followed her through the revolving door and into the lobby. I stayed two paces behind hr, enjoying the view, which was quite pleasant. She was wearing a gray suit -- very natty, and she had brunette hair that came past her shoulders and was tied in a ponytail. Her suit's skirt had a hem that came above her knee and showed off her shapely calves.

The elevator door opened and a man with a laptop case slung across his shoulders headed toward us. His case collided with the woman's load, scattering her binders onto the terrazzo. Some popped open, spilling their contents.

She let out a groan, knelt and started picking up papers. The loaf who bumped her kept on moving.

I knelt to give her a hand. "The asshole didn't even stop to say he was sorry," I heard her mutter.

"He was so self-absorbed he probably didn't even realize he hit you," I replied. I picked up the contents of one binder and attempted to rearrange the sheets in the correct sequence. "Here," I said.

"Thank you," she replied. "At least there are still some gentlemen in this city." She looked into my face.

"Violet!" I exclaimed. "Violet West."

"Gavin?"

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm an account executive -- fancy word for saleslady."

"Whose your client?"

"Dickson Gray."

"Dickson, huh? Do you have time for a quick coffee in the cafeteria?"

"Sorry, I don't -- My appointment's at ten."

"How about after?"

She nodded. "Okay. I should be done by ten-thirty."

"I'll meet you there -- you know where it is?"

"Of course I know where it is."

I sat at a table facing the door and checked my watch. Sure enough at ten-thirty I saw Violet approach. She was brunette, medium height with a pretty face and the biggest and saddest dark brown eyes -- though today her eyes looked happier than the first time I saw them. I got up to hold the door while she navigated her luggage into the room.

"Find a table," I said. "I'll bring a couple coffees. Black, no sugar, right?"

"You remembered."

I returned to the table and set down the drinks. "How long have you been with this outfit?" I asked.

"About a year."

"How long has Dickson been your client?"

"About six months."

"I'm surprised we haven't bumped into each other before."

"So am I -- I was beginning to think you didn't work here anymore."

"Don't you know?" I asked. "When they built this building, I was standing on the lot. They couldn't get me to move so they built it around me and gave me a permanent job."

"I am glad to see you," she replied. "I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. I don't think I ever thanked you for taking a chance on me."

"Oh, you thanked me -- every time you stayed late so we could get reports done on time. You saved my ass on numerous occasions." I sipped my coffee. "I was really sorry to see you go."

"I had to," she replied. "Now I'm back in town. When I took Dickson's account and realized he worked for the same firm as you ... Well, walking in here brought back some memories."

"I'll bet."

"How are things with you?" she asked.

"Same old same old," I replied.

"That's different," she said pointing to my left hand.

"What's different?"

"Your ring."

"What ring?"

"My point exactly."

"That," I said, "happened so long ago I can't remember it."

"How long ago? I thought you and Dolores were inseparable."

"Three years. It turns out we were indeed separable."

"That wasn't so long ago."

"Maybe I chose to forget." I drained my cup. "It's been really good seeing you again, Vi."

"Same here." She finished hers; then looked up at me and bit her lip. "I'm going out on a limb here, Gavin," she said. "But are you doing anything Friday night?"

"No -- I'm not doing anything any night."

"How would you like to come to my place for dinner?"

I searched my head for a good excuse to decline, but instead out came, "I'd love to."

"I take the Blue Line -- change at Government Center. How about I meet you there at five? Under the arch?"

I spotted her at the subway station and rode with her past the airport. We reached her destination and headed into a residential area of town houses converted into apartments. "Which is yours?" I asked.

"Down this way," she said, pointing. "We need to make a stop, first."

She led me to an old storefront and stepped inside. I stood, hands behind my back and waited. When the door opened again she emerged pushing a stroller whose passenger was a mixed-race little girl.

"This is Phaedra," she said.

"She's yours?"

"You don't think I'd go into a day- care and snatch someone else's kid, do you?"

"Of course not, Vi ... She's a big girl -- how old?"

"Eighteen months."

Violet pushed the stroller to the intersection and then to a townhouse. She let herself in with a key, lifted Phaedra from the stroller and carried both up a flight of stairs. Once inside she set down the little girl. Phaedra toddled to a crate of toys and began picking through them.

"Can you watch her for a few minutes?" Violet asked. "I want to change into something more comfortable."

I watched as Violet disappeared into her bedroom. She emerged in a pair of sweat pants and a tank top. "Dinner will be ready shortly," she said. "I made short ribs in a slow cooker. I just have to get Phaedra's food together."

I watched Violet plunk her daughter into a high chair. She set a plate before me and opened a bottle of red wine.

"This is very good," I said.

"I like having dinner ready when we come home."

I regarded Violet's little girl. "She's adorable, Vi," I said. "Where's her father? If, that's not an inappropriate question."

"He left me."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Truth be known, I threw him out. He had poor parenting skills and couldn't handle the responsibility. It's hard enough raising one child, much less two."

We finished dinner and I helped her tidy up. "That was wonderful, Vi," I said. "Thanks for inviting me. I'd better be on my way."

"Must you? I was hoping we'd have a chance to talk, once Phaedra goes in. It's a little difficult to have an adult conversation when she's toddling around."

"I suppose you're right."

"We'll let her play for another hour; then I'll give her a bedtime snack and put her down."

I watched Phaedra as she played. She brought to me a board book and I read it to her. Then, Violet picked her up and set her on her lap. "Ready for bed-time snack?" she asked. Phaedra broke into a big grin.

Violet lifted the hem of her tank and held Phaedra to her breast. "Uhh," I said, "do you want me to make myself scarce?"

"No, Gavin," she replied. "Nursing her is a natural act. I'm not shy about it. I know how to do it without exposing anything."

"It makes me feel a bit awkward," I replied. I sat across from her and kept my gaze above her collarbone. "My daddy taught me, in a situation like this, a gentleman must look a lady in the eye."

Violet chortled. "You always were a gentleman." She shifted Phaedra to her other breast. "I really do enjoy nursing her -- I like feeling nourishment flowing from my body to hers."

"You're lucky -- you seem to have an easy time of it."

"It was hardly easy at first -- both of us had a lot to learn. I will miss it when she's fully weaned ... which isn't too far off, now. I really enjoyed it when she was little." Phaedra's eyes drifted shut and her sucking tapered off. "It looks like she's done. I'll get her ready for bed and then there is something I'll need to do in private. I won't be long."

"Take your time."

I wandered around her apartment and looked out the big, bay window at the street. Violet emerged from the nursery and headed into her bedroom. "Gavin," I heard her call.

"Yes?"

"I think there's some wine left -- why don't you pour a couple of glasses? I'll be out in a sec."

I removed the bottle from the refrigerator, refilled our glasses and carried them to her living room. She stepped from her bedroom carrying a bottle of white fluid and set it in the fridge. "Breastfeeding is a beautiful and natural act," she said, "but there's something unnatural and not too pretty about a breast pump."

"I understand completely."

She sat on the sofa beside me and picked up her glass "Whew," she exclaimed. "Now the grownups can talk."

"Do you like being a mom?"

"I love it -- but it's destroyed my social life. Do you remember what it was like before you were married ... how carefree you were?"

"Yeah..."

"Then you got married and it was good but you felt kind of tied down?"

I nodded. "Yeah..."

"It's NOTHING like how a kid ties you down, believe me!"

"Well, the divorce destroyed my social life."

"How so?"

"Dolores detested my friends, so one-by-one I lost them. We were social only with her friends. Now..." I shrugged. " ... as part of the divorce settlement, she got to keep the friends."

"Make new ones," Violet suggested. "Start dating."

"I don't think so ... I don't want to get hurt again. I'm really not into the one-night stand scene."

"I hear you," she replied. "If I want to go out for an evening, I must find a baby-sitter -- which means planning weeks ahead -- and of course the sitter wants to know when I'll be home. The bright spot of my situation is Dwayne's mother..."

"Dwayne is Phaedra's dad?"

"Yes. She's a wonderful, sweet woman who knows fully what a deadbeat her son is. She told me once, 'Vi, honey -- you need a break, ' and kept Phaedra for a whole weekend. I went clubbing with a friend from my office ... who proceeded to get violently drunk. I spent half the evening with her in the ladies room while she threw up and finally called a cab to take her home."

"Quite an evening," I remarked.

"Then, I was approached by a young man who had seen the commotion. We started talking and he bought me a couple martinis. The next thing I know I find myself inviting him to my place. We get here and he sees the crate of toys and asks me if I have a kid. When I say yes, he immediately remembers something he desperately needed to do and left me standing."

"Maybe you were lucky," I replied. "I know I wouldn't want to shack up with a stranger."

"You're probably right." Violet drained her wine glass. "I'm not a big drinker -- so I'm feeling it." She regarded me. "Why did you take a chance on me?"

"Now that's keeping a train of thought," I replied.

"I've always wondered. I had just finished an associate's degree in accounting; I had a not-so- great GPA and I had been in a bit of trouble. When I interviewed, you told me you wanted someone with some experience. I was floored when I got the offer."

"You looked like you had potential. You can teach skills but you can't teach talent."

"What made you think that?"

"It was something you said."

"What did I say?"

"I asked if you could do something or other -- I don't remember what. Your answer was, no but you could learn. I was impressed with the frankness of your answer."

"That clinched it?"

"Yes. And, learn you did."

"You had to explain everything to me."

"But I only had to explain it once."

"The first six months I was scared shitless," she replied. "And then -- I developed a huge crush on you."

"Really? I thought there was some chemistry. Of course there was no way you and I could be involved, Violet. For starters, Dolores was irrationally jealous. On top of that was the company rule against intra- office romances."

"Do you remember that conference I attended with you? We had separate rooms at the hotel. Part of me wished you'd come to my room, order some room-service drinks and then..."

"Talk business?" I asked.

"Yeah." She smiled. "And then get down to business."

"I was really sorry when you gave your notice, Vi."

"I had no choice -- I had to go tend to my mother and after she died I came back here. I found a job, met Dwayne, had Phaedra ... you know the rest."

"Couldn't you and Dwayne make things work?"

"Dwayne was a big mistake. He taught me there's more to a man than upper-body strength."

"You know, I see scads of women -- pretty ones -- with hunky losers and I can't understand what they see in them."

"It's pure animal magnetism, Gavin -- the same reason men are drawn to big-titted bimbos."

"Well, I'm not drawn to bimbos no matter what their bra sizes are. I like a woman with some intelligence."

"Are you saying if you had an opportunity to date a big-titted bimbo you'd turn it down?"

"Uhhh..."

"I didn't think you would. Dwayne is the male version of a big-titted bimbo -- handsome, brawny, not to bright and astonishingly selfish and self-centered. That became the issue after Phaedra came along. He simply could not subordinate his own interests in favor of hers."

"Which is what you must do when you're a parent." I realized Violet's knee had been pressing against mine. I looked into her eyes and she looked into mine. She brushed her toe against my foot. I knew what she wanted and I knew she knew I knew. I reached over and caressed her thigh through the fabric of her sweats. She put her hand on mine. "Violet -- your hand is shaking."

She picked up the empty wine bottle and examined it. "I think I need a little more alcohol. I have some brandy. Would you like some? Please? I can't drink alone."

"Okay -- I could use some, too."

Violet returned with a pair of glasses. We clinked rims and she downed hers in two chugs. She put her hand on her chest. "My heart's pounding," she said. "I usually don't do this sort of thing -- just so you know."

She stood with her back to me, grasped the hem of her tank and lifted off herself. Underneath she had on a sheer, black camisole.

Then, she hooked her thumbs onto the waistband of her sweats and pulled them off to reveal a matching set of tap pants.

"You were prepared," I remarked.

"I always am," she replied, "if you remember from work. I wasn't going to get my hopes up, though." Violet sat on my lap. "When you said you weren't into one-night- stands..."

"I have nothing against them ... in theory," I replied.

"I'm glad to hear you say that."

I looked into her dark eyes and caressed her cheek. We kissed and kissed again.

"My heart's starting to calm down," she said, "now that I know I haven't made a complete ass of myself." I kissed her lips again. "Oh, Gavin -- when we bumped into each other and I realized we were both..."

"Unencumbered?"

"Yes. It brought back the crush I had on you. I started fantasizing and decided ... This is the first time I've done something like this. Do you believe that?"

"From how your hands were shaking, I believe it."

She began unbuttoning my shirt and slipped her hand in under my placket. I traced the shape of her shoulder, down her arm and stroked the back of her hand. Violet stroked my chest.

I traced the scoop neckline of her camisole from one shoulder strap to the other. Then, I peeled the strap off her left shoulder and slipped my finger under the fabric and stroked her breast, my skin against hers.

A thought flashed on me and I pulled back. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

"Vi -- this is my first time with a nursing mom."

"Oh, Gavin ... they're not just for Phaedra. I pumped them dry ... they're pretty empty ... and, if some does leak out it -- won't hurt anybody."

I slipped my finger under her cami again and felt the changes in the texture of her skin as I stroked her areola and nipple.

"Gavin -- I think we should move our base of operation into my bedroom. I wouldn't want Phaedra to stumble out of her crib and encounter us..."

"... In flagrante delicto?" I asked.

"Precisely."

"Does she climb out of her crib often?"

"Only a couple of times. Do you mind if we check on her, first?"

"Not at all."

I took her hand and we peeked into the nursery. Phaedra was asleep on her back, lying spread-eagle in her pajamas and her head turned to one side. "She is adorable, Vi," I said. "What a beautiful little girl." I glanced at Violet -- she was biting her lip and I could see her swelling with pride. "I love the color of her skin -- it's like the cafe au lait they serve in New Orleans."

Violet led me by the hand to her bedroom. I slipped off my shirt and then my shoes and socks. Then I unfastened my belt.

"You took your socks off before your pants," Violet remarked.

"It's a habit. Did you ever wonder why a woman, wearing nothing but a pair of stockings is considered sexy but a man, wearing nothing but a pair of socks is considered ridiculous?"

"I hadn't thought of it ... Gavin, I'm not wearing stockings."

"And, I'm not wearing socks."

I sat on the edge of her bed and held her on my lap. We resumed kissing, this time with a little tongue play, each exploring the other's mouths.

I unbuttoned her cami and she slipped it off her shoulders. "You have a gorgeous figure, Vi," I said. "I'd never know you carried a kid."

"Being pregnant did terrible things to my body," she replied. "My breasts ballooned to twice their size. I'm normally a B-cup..."

"They look beautiful to me."

" ... my nipples got big and dark, and I had a brown line that ran from here to here." She ran her finger from her mons to her sternum. Most of that has faded but I still have a line on my belly."