Chapter 1

My mother’s funeral is scheduled for tomorrow. I’m still pretty much out of it, still in shock I guess. Everything around me seems to be moving too fast.

Less than a week ago my mother was killed by a drunk driver on the way home from work. From the moment they told me about the accident everything seems to be speeding up around me.

I’m all alone in the world now. As far as I know I have one living relative. Until he comes to get me on the day of my mother’s funeral I’ve been taken in by my best friend’s parents.

My dad never married my mom. I have no idea who he was. If my mother knew she never shared that information with me. It has always just been my mom and me. But I haven’t really had the time or the inclination to worry about what’s going to become of me. I’m still having trouble grappling with the idea that my beautiful, vibrant, loving mother no longer exists.

They said my mom never knew what hit her. The drunk who killed her ran through a red light at nearly sixty miles an hour and slammed right into her door. They tell me she died instantly. For some reason that instant keeps replaying in my mind. I wasn’t there. But I keep seeing it happen, over and over. I swear I can hear the terrible sounds. I can feel the incredible violence. Even so, I find it all but impossible to believe I’ll never see my mother again.

I’m sixteen and as far as I know I have one living relative. A distant cousin of my mother’s neither of us has ever met. Well, he and his two sons. He’s a single parent, too. I talked to him on the phone a couple of days ago. He’s coming up to Ohio for the funeral. After the funeral he’ll take me back to live with him and his sons in South Carolina.

I would have much preferred to stay in Ohio and live with my best friend and her family until I finish high school. But I can’t bring myself to ask them. I suppose there exist all kinds of very good legal reasons why I have to go live with my only living relative.

I’ve finally stopped crying all the time. Well, except when I’m lying in bed at night and it’s dark and all I can think about is my mom. There hasn’t been a night since the accident that I hadn’t cried myself to sleep.

I’m trying not to be judgmental about my distant cousin from South Carolina. I’m trying to keep an open mind. He sounded pretty normal on the phone. Listening to him talk on the phone it had been obvious he isn’t a brain surgeon. But I suppose that if he were not competent and able to take responsibility for me then the authorities would not have arranged for me to live with him.

I’ve never been out of Ohio, though. I’m very nervous about moving to the South. The only things I know about the South aren’t all that complimentary. Like they were mainly responsible for Bush getting elected, and then re-elected after everyone had to know he’s a moron!

I’ve packed a couple of suitcases and a few boxes of personal possessions. I’m not sure what’s going to happen to the rest of our stuff. I guess that’ll be between my new guardian and the lawyers. It doesn’t really matter to me. I’ve taken from the house those few things that are important to me.

That night I didn’t sleep at all. I must have looked like shit in the morning. I haven’t slept more than a few hours a night since it happened. I finally gave up trying to get to sleep around three in the morning. I sat up and stared out the window. Not staring at anything, just staring.

I finally got up and took a shower at six when I heard people starting to stir in the house. The funeral isn’t until ten o’clock so I didn’t dress yet. I put on some shorts and a t-shirt and made sure I have my clothes ready for the funeral, for about the hundredth time.

My best friend, Jenny, came in to try to get me to go to breakfast. I can’t eat, though. So she came in and sat with me on the bed and held me. She has been crying almost as much as I have over the last week.

I can’t stand the idea that I’m going to have to leave my best friend and my home on top of everything else. We promised to keep in touch, and I suppose we will for a while. But I know how that works. By the end of the year the letters and phone calls will have dwindled. She has her life, of which I’ll no longer be a part, and I’ll have my new life.

We didn’t talk. We have pretty much said what there was to say. We just sat together quietly until it was time to get ready. Being with Jenny helps calm me. I’m nervous as hell. I’m going to meet my new guardian for the first time when he comes to pick up my suitcases and take me to the funeral.

I’ve already taken everything downstairs except my toiletries and a small bag for the clothes I have on. When it was time to get ready I hugged Jen and thanked her for being there for me. We held each other for a minute and then she went to her room to get dressed. I changed into my black dress, the dress I bought just for the funeral.

I don’t really want to go to the funeral. I don’t believe in god or heaven or life after death. Those beliefs, or lack thereof, are not a result of the accident. I have never believed. I guess I’m just not superstitious.

My mother isn’t in the shiny box they’re going to bury. My mother ceased to exist when that drunk killed her. Now she exists in my heart and in my mind. But superstitious people get nervous and upset if you don’t conform to their little rituals. So I’ll go to the funeral and keep my mouth shut.

I checked around the room to make sure I have everything. I took the last of my things downstairs. I was just putting my bag down by the door when I saw a car pull up outside. I assumed it’s driver is my long lost cousin. I put my bags down and stepped outside. I watched him get out of his car and come to the door.

He looks pretty normal. I guess he’s around forty. He’s about six feet tall and I estimate that he weighs around one hundred eighty pounds. He has the right number of eyes and arms and legs. He doesn’t look like an ogre. When he got to the steps he said, “Hi, I’m Richard. Are you Tawny?” Except for the southern accent he sounds normal.

I nodded and he said, “I am sorry for your loss. I’m sorry that we have to meet under these circumstances.”

He sounds very sincere. He wasn’t just saying the things he has to say. I appreciated that.

I thanked him and asked him what he wants me to do with my luggage. He’s planning on leaving directly from the cemetery and driving about half way home today.

He helped me and we put everything in his car. He actually seems pretty nice. He’s quiet and not bad looking. He looks a little stern perhaps but it’s an occasion which calls for solemnity.

While we were loading the car, Jen’s father, Mr. Fortson, came out. I introduced them and he helped with a couple of suitcases. Then we all went back inside until it was time to leave for the funeral.

The Fortsons and Richard exchanged small talk for a few minutes. They asked about his trip and what the weather was like in South Carolina. Everyone was just making conversation to pass the time.

I didn’t take part but I listened. I’m still trying to form an opinion of my new guardian. I suppose he seems alright.

The next hour and a half were hell. I tried to stay detached. It’s just another silly ceremony. It means nothing except I guess it makes it official that I’m an orphan.

When it was over I hugged Mr. and Mrs. Fortson and thanked them for taking care of me. Then I hugged Jen. That was when I really cried. We’ve been best friends and neighbors since kindergarten. Jen was crying just as hard as I was.

I finally said goodbye and got in the car with Richard. I calmed down and gave him directions to the Interstate. Except for my directions we rode in silence most of the day. He either sensed I’m not ready for small talk or he wasn’t really interested in anything I might have to say. Either way I appreciated the quiet.

We stopped in Virginia for the night. It was very late when we got there. I grabbed my bag with my shorts and t-shirt and toiletries in it and he took his little tote bag and we got a room.

I was a little surprised that he only got one room. He was a perfect gentleman, though, and we had separate queen beds. At least he didn’t snore. Not that it would have mattered to me. I haven’t slept much in days, and not at all last night. I fell asleep almost instantly and didn’t wake up the next morning until he shook me awake.

We were up early the next morning and hit the road before six. We stopped somewhere in North Carolina at about eight o’clock for breakfast at a Cracker Barrel. I got a taste of grits for the first time. I thought they tasted a lot like the box that they probably came in but Richard liked them, or at least he ate them.

We finally talked a little. He never met my Mom and I suppose because he’ll be raising her daughter he asked me what she had been like. He asked me what my interests are.

I asked him about his two sons. He told me about Lyndon. That’s his oldest. Everyone calls him Lyn. He used to hate it because it’s a girl’s name. Now that he’s older and more self-assured he doesn’t mind, though. Lyn is the same age as me, just a few months older. He’s a good athlete and a mediocre student. Richard explained with a touch of exasperation in his voice that Lyn is smart, dependable and hard working in every other area of his life. But when it comes to schoolwork he’s lazy.

His youngest is Harley. Harley is fourteen. He’s a little wild, but basically a good kid. He showed me their pictures. They’re both very good-looking boys.

I asked about their mother and Richard explained that she had died six years ago from cancer. I heard the sadness still very evident in his voice when he talked about her. It touched me, especially considering what I’m going through now. It made me feel more like there’s a connection between us.

We decided that I should call him Rick. That’s what most people call him.

We finally made it to his home, my new home, a little before four in the afternoon. He lives in a nice house out in the country. There are other houses around but not too close. Rick told me he has twenty-five acres and all the privacy he needs.

The house had been an old farmhouse when he and his wife bought it. They had completely remodeled and updated it fifteen years ago before they even moved in. The improvements included a large, beautifully landscaped backyard with a huge pool.

When we pulled up in the driveway one of the boys came out to greet us. It was Harley, the fourteen year old. He’s a big kid and very fit. Rick mentioned earlier that he’s on the school swim team and he spend so much time in the pool he’s in danger of turning into a fish.

Harley smiled and said hello. He’s even better looking in person and his charming smile is very disarming.

He took the suitcases from me and headed for the house. I started to pick up a box to take in but Rick stopped me and told me Harley would bring everything in.

I felt kind of guilty. I don’t want people waiting on me. But I don’t want to offend anyone either.

I followed Rick inside and he gave me a quick tour of the house, ending in my new bedroom. I’m very impressed. The house is very large and very beautiful. My bedroom is twice as large as my room had been in Ohio.

When the tour was over we went down to the kitchen and Rick prepared a light supper. Rick, Harley and I ate out by the pool. Summer has just started. It’s a little warmer down here than I’m used to but it’s pleasant all the same.

Lyn, the older brother, is on a date with his girlfriend and won’t be home until later.

It has been a very long week and I’m exhausted. I excused myself and went upstairs. I unpacked and put my clothes away. I put out my books and my few prized possessions. By the time I finished it was pretty late. I took a quick shower and went to bed.

Before I went to bed I asked Rick if I can call Jen and tell her about my trip. He smiled and said, “You aren’t a prisoner, Tawny. You can call any and all of your friends. But I appreciate your asking anyway. Yes, feel free to use the phone.”

After I got in bed I called Jen and we talked for a little while. I told her all about my trip and my new house and my new family, or at least the two of them I’ve met. I was in a strange, warm, flat land. But the people I’ve met so far seem nice. My new home is fantastic. I have a great room. I am, I suppose, as happy as a girl could be when her mother just passed away and she has been forced to move away from everything she has known in her life.

We didn’t talk long. I’m exhausted. I gave her my number and my address and we agreed to talk again in a few days, after I’ve settled in.

I discovered that my new bed is very comfortable and I was soon sleeping deeply.

I got up in the morning, put on my shorts and a t-shirt and went down to see what’s going on. I finally met Lyn. He was just pouring a cup of coffee and he invited me to join him. I opted for a coke instead. It’s already hot and I’m not that big a fan of coffee anyway.

Lyn got me a coke and showed me where they are. Then we went out to the pool and sat under the umbrella and got acquainted.

He seems very mature and very self-assured for a sixteen-year-old boy. I was impressed. He also strikes me as being just a little bit arrogant. But to be fair, that’s just a first impression. I could be wrong. Maybe I just envy him his self-assurance.

We had only been sitting there for about fifteen minutes when Rick came down, followed shortly by Harley. I felt a little overwhelmed by all the testosterone surrounding me. I grew up in a house with no males. Living with three males is going to be a big adjustment for me.

Rick had to go into his office for a little while to catch up with anything important he may have missed in the last three days. I was invited to stick around and use the pool and get better acquainted with Lyn and Lee. I was informed that most people call Harley by his middle name, Lee.

I heard a loud noise and that was when I found out where Harley got his name. Rick was heading off to work on a big Harley Davidson.

As soon as Rick was out of the driveway, Lyn asked me if I wanted to join them in the pool and cool off.

I smiled and said sure. I sat there for a moment, trying to remember if I had seen my bikini when I was unpacking. Before I could stand up and go look for it, Lyn and Lee stood up and stripped right in front of me. I don’t mean that they stripped down to their trunks. They stripped down to butt naked!

They dropped their clothes on a nearby bench and walked calmly over to the pool and dove in.

I would not have been more shocked if they had uncovered green scales and gills! I stared, open mouthed at them. I was too shocked to even cover my eyes. I might add that I have never before seen a naked male. I can’t deny that it had been educational.

The boys splashed around in the pool for a few minutes and I just sat there, not sure what to do next.

It was several minutes before they decided to rejoin me. They got out of the pool and Lyn sat back down in his chair, facing me. He sat in a relaxed pose with his legs spread wide and his entire body on display. Lee pulled another chair into position beside me and sat the same way. It wasn’t so much that they were sticking their cocks out at me. They were just sitting, slouched in their chairs the way guys sit.

I didn’t know where to look! I want to get up, run to my room and lock the door but I’m blocked in now. So I just sat there with, I am sure, an obvious expression of shock as Lyn and Lee smiled and joked and tried to talk me into joining them.

I decided that the best thing for me to do was squeeze by them and make a run for my room. It didn’t quite work out that way. When I stood up and tried to step between them Lee pulled me down into his lap and asked me where I’m going.

I stuttered something unintelligible about having to go to my room but Lee is holding on and there’s no way I’m going to overpower this strong, muscular young man. My shock only increased when Lyn asked me calmly, “I bet you’re a virgin, aren’t you?”

“That’s none of your business!” I exclaimed. How dare he even ask!

Lee said, “Well I’ll be god damned! An honest to god virgin! I’ll bet you’ve never even seen a guy with no clothes on before, have you?”

“No! Of course not,” I exploded, thereby answering the previous question about my virginity.

Lee laughed and said, “Girl, you are gonna have to lighten up if you’re going to live here. Now come on, let’s get you out of those clothes and go swimming.”

Lee held me down on his lap and held my hands up in the air while Lyn stood up and started pulling my t-shirt up. I knew I didn’t have a chance in hell of fighting them off but I struggled helplessly and yelled at them to let me go. They ignored my protests and manhandled me with ease. They’re both big, strong boys and I never had a chance against them.

I finally realized my struggles only amused them and I went limp. By that time they had taken my t-shirt off and exposed my breasts. I hadn’t worn a bra this morning. I seldom wear one around the house. It isn’t like I need one for the support.

I just recently, and very proudly, went from an A cup to a B cup bra. It was an increase which until now I have kept to myself. Both boys were all over my breasts as soon as they were exposed. They seemed quite pleased with them. This is not, however, the scenario I have had in mind for my first sexual experience.

They kept asking me what size my breasts are and telling me what a shame it is to cover them up.

I was totally embarrassed. I tried to break free one last time. They seemed not to even notice my futile attempts to break away. They just kept exploring my body. I have imagined what it would be like to have a boy’s hands on my breasts. This was not the picture that came to my mind.

Lyn took over holding my arms in the air from his younger brother and he pulled me to my feet. Lee grabbed my shorts and pulled them down quickly. I’m wearing a lacy little bikini panty and they acted like I wore it just for them. I’m trying not to cry. But I’ve never been so humiliated or felt so helpless in my life.

I struggled again when he grabbed the waistband of my panties and slowly pulled them down while staring me in the face and teasing me about being too shy.

I’ve been so wrapped up in my own disrobing that it took me a few minutes to realize that both boys now have erections. They’re the first two I’ve ever seen, so I have nothing with which to compare them. They look huge to me!

I tried to plead with them. I begged them to let me go. I promised not to tell anyone.

Lee laughed and said, “Shoot! Girl, you don’t have to tell anyone. I will! Our friends are going to get a kick out of this.”

Both boys pulled me to the pool and carried me down the wide, cement steps at the shallow end. I’ve given up struggling. They took advantage of my surrender by taking turns holding me close and moving their hands all over my body.

When I finally gave up and stopped fighting them Lee sat down on the steps and pulled me onto his lap. Our bodies were underwater. Only our heads stuck up out of the water.

Lee’s hands are holding me and at the same time gently squeezing and caressing my breasts. Once I gave in to the inevitable I started to calm down. I wouldn’t want him to know it but what they’re doing feels pretty good. I’m not surrendering to them, at least not consciously. But my body is just as sensitive as any other girl’s. I learned I can enjoy the sensations that have begun to course through my body without surrendering to rape, or at least not surrendering mentally.

Lyn waded up between my legs which are floating just below the surface of the water and slowly slid his hands up the outsides of my thighs.