Chapter 8

"So Lesley ... Is she Irish or something?" Julie asked on the ride home from classes one evening. Her hair was still slick from the pool, and the soft scent of chlorine was present in Trish's little car.

"I'm a little curious about that too." Trish spoke up brightly. Her face took on that same faraway look that crossed her features whenever Lesley was mentioned.

"I don't really know." I admitted, shifting slightly in the passenger seat. "She's got an accent I can't really place."

"She's old though," Trish added. "She just feels really, I don't know, strong I guess."

"I feel like I'm missing out here," Julie sighed. "I'm sorry, but all I get is this total domestic stuff in my dreams while you two get ... well, you know."

It had been a couple weeks since the last serious incident. There were awkward moments, and occasionally I would catch Trish looking at me with what I hoped was affection, but overall things in the house had been fairly sedate. One thing we had begun doing was to inform each other of our dreams the previous night. Julie in particular had been amazed at the intensity of her dreams, since she claimed that she had never previously remembered dreams of any kind.

"She hasn't asked again," Trish sounded almost disappointed as she spoke. "I think she might be a little mad at me."

We had gone to a pharmacy the day after the event and gotten her emergency contraception. She had hesitated before taking it, and actually put off the decision until later in the day. I hadn't pressed the issue, and received a thankful kiss on the lips for my thoughtfulness. It was a far cry from the horny or romantic kisses we had shared in the past, but it was pleasant, and felt almost like I was experiencing the "real" Trish.

"I don't think so," I spoke up. "I just have been having that weird constricted chest dream."

"I still say it sounds like you're wearing a bra that's too tight," Julie smirked. "Sorry, but since all the ghosts think you're a chick..."

"Please tell me you're not telling this around campus," I interrupted Julie with a nervous smile.

"Uh ... No," Julie brushed a damp lock of hair back. "Well, I mean I mentioned it to one friend, but that..."

"You didn't mention NAMES..." I blurted.

'No. Of course not. I just said that I was having these wild dreams about getting it on with another chick to my friend who's a psych major."

"Snow White?" Trish snorted, glancing back at Julie.

"Not cool. That's really not cool Trish." Julie admonished Trish with a withering glare.

"Uh, am I missing something?" I asked.

"OK, fine, Michelle. I thought we agreed we weren't going to be talking about this stuff with anybody who wasn't living in the house." Trish sighed, continuing to pay rapt attention to the road, and the standard late afternoon traffic on Highway one.

"I was just mentioning the dreams," Julie argued. "I didn't say a thing about Lesley, or Martha or ... what was her name?"

"Mitsuko." I breathed out the name. She had been the most elusive of the spirits in my home. Her dreams were some of the most intense, but I never saw her fully, or myself fully in them. It seemed that where we were left a deeper impression on my mind. An impression of formality, and yet of something that defied those traditions. It felt almost like going to a formal ball in drag.

"I still can't get over it, Prof." Trish looked over at me with a wry grin. "Those dreams are crazy hot, but when I look at you, I almost can't believe you're that woman."

"I have a hard time with it myself." I admitted.

"I can see it," Julie piped up. "I mean, in the ones I see you in, you're just ... being a mom, I guess. I mean you're playing with children, doing mom type stuff, but you're with another chick." Julie took a breath, seeming about to continue, but then let the moment hang.

"Oh great, now I'm domestic dyke." I groaned.

"Sounds like a super heroine," Trish laughed.

"Da-da-da-daaah! Domestic Dyke! And her junior sidekick, the Mighty Rug Muncher!" Julie snorted, joining in on the joke.

"Oh great. Not only do I have ghosts after me, I've got to deal with immaturity theater in my car rides home." I rolled my eyes, trying to look upset, but ruining it by laughing immediately after.

"Hey uh ... Henry?" Julie spoke up after the three of us had calmed down a bit.

"Yeah?"

"Martha ... she asked me last night. Sorry I didn't tell you." Julie's pro forma apology hid the nervousness in her voice rather poorly.

"You don't have to say yes," I assured her.

"I didn't! It's just that I'm scared," Julie fidgeted in her seat, and I turned around to look at her nervous face. "I'm ... how the hell do I say this." She took a deep breath. "I'm a virgin."

"Technical, or real?" Trish tossed back over her shoulder.

"I guess, technical. I've never gone all the way." Julie squirmed uncomfortably.

"You don't have to talk about..." I began, before Julie interrupted me.

"I want to. I mean ... I'm tempted, you know, get it over with, but I always wanted it to be special." Julie seemed to grow more confident as she spoke. "I just ... always wanted it to be with a guy."

"And if Martha took over..." Trish nodded.

"Right, she's a dyke. And even if she slept with Henry, she'd see him as a chick." Julie looked a tad embarrassed at the thought.

"So, you want to fuck Henry first, just to make sure you're straight?" Trish snickered.

"Jesus, Trish." Julie groaned.

"Hey, ride's almost over. If we wanna talk about this, we do it inside." Trish pulled the car down the small driveway that led to our house, neatly sliding the vehicle in between the other two present.

It was a bit of a squeeze to open the car door, as it was every morning we took the small car, but it was much more easily managed by the two young women. I led the way into the house, noticing with no displeasure the conspiratorial closeness of Trish and Julie as they followed me.

I flipped on the lights in the house, noting that the sun was nearly down. Night came early in the late fall, and the overhanging trees only added to the dimness. Somewhere in the back of my head, the little needles of my neuroses began to dig at me.

Julie wants to fuck you now. Oh, great Mr. five second pop, let's really impress the ladies. Get it into your skull, Trish is fucking with your head. This whole thing with...

I fought back the self doubt easier than I had in the past. For some reason, it seemed to have less of an impact on me. It was less than when I had been with Jess...

For a moment, I was tempted to dwell on her again. I paused for a moment, watching as Julie and Trish continued to speak quietly. My gaze floated over them, and I took in Julie's tight body, nicely juxtaposed with Trish's soft curves. I remembered how Trish had felt grinding down on me, how we had both had raw sex and true, deep lovemaking. It was something that I had loved, and wanted more of.

As I watched the girls move to the living room, I noticed that Julie was glancing back at me occasionally. The glances were immediately followed by more conversation. I felt good, and let them talk, letting my mind wander through some less innocent fantasies that I had during dull moments.

I imagined Trish gasping under me, remembering that sweet expression that she had. I remembered staring deeply into her blue eyes as she came. No ... that was Lesley. I sighed, realizing that the deepest feelings that I had for Trish weren't even for her. They were for a woman I had never really seen, except in my dreams. It was both exciting and depressing at the same time.

"Hey Henry, can you come in here?" Trish called back as she and Julie settled into two of the garage sale special chairs that we had decorated the living room with. It had become an almost nightly ritual for us to sit and chat, looking out as the sun set. It was pleasant, and reminded me of happier times in this house.

I moved to the large wingback which had barely fit through the front door. I sat down heavily, noticing a soft flush on Julie's face, and a mischievous grin on Trish's. I recalled that grin from outside a nightclub...

"So ... In a hundred years we'll..." Trish began.

"Not that shit again. I'm sorry Trish but can we please be serious?" Julie broke in.

"It's fun. C'mon." Trish crossed her legs, accentuating the curve of her hip.

"Ok. Look I'm just a little..." Julie's face turned a darker shade of red, and she giggled softly. "I'm sorry, it's just funny."

"I know I missed a lot here," I pointed out, settling back into the heavy fabric.

"Julie really wants to let go." Trish explained.

"I mean, I want to let Martha, use me." Julie explained. "But if she wants..."

"We don't know how far she'll go." Trish agreed.

"Well, then maybe you shouldn't..." I started, before Julie cut me off.

"No, I WANT to. I mean, after what Trish told me about the experience ... I really want to do it." Julie giggled again for a moment. "But I just ... I'm sorry..."

"Stop apologizing," I said. "Look, you can tell me. I won't judge."

"I want ... I want to be in control when I ... when I go to bed with a guy." Julie giggled again nervously. "I'm sor ... I mean ... yeah." It was obvious that Julie was biting back another apology.

"Ok. So, just keep saying no. If she's like Lesley..." I began.

"I want to try it. First." Julie glanced at Trish with a look that seemed to be seeking approval.

"She means she wants to fuck you, Henry." Trish translated, with a roll of her eyes that said that I had missed the subtle hints, and now she was going with the sledgehammer.

"I ... Ok." I mumbled out, glancing over at Julie, who had averted her eyes from me, and was covering her mouth in a futile attempt to stifle her giggles.

"This is so embarrassing..." Julie giggled again, her hand rising up to run through her short dark hair.

"Ok, maybe we should talk about this later," I began to rise from my seat. Admittedly what we were talking about was beyond arousing, but Julie's embarrassment was just killing the effect.

"Julie, you're being a pussy. Henry, you're being too sensitive. Jesus Christ, can't the two of you just go to bed?" Trish's voice took on a sense of annoyance, abruptly halting my movement. "Julie, c'mon, you told me you thought he was hot, right?"

Julie didn't respond, merely breaking down into another peal of giggles. She kept shooting glances at both Trish and myself, and her face took on a deep beet red.

"I did ... uhm, buy condoms ... you know, just in case." I offered, looking at Trish with a raised eyebrow.

That brought a snort of laughter from Julie, and another roll of the eyes from Trish.

"I don't think that really ... never mind, that was nice, but you didn't have to..." Trish paused, looked at me, and then continued. "At least you were thinking ahead."

"I'm just scared, okay?" Julie looked directly out the window at the ocean, breathing deeply. "I mean, I get horny, and I've watched porn, but the thought of ... actually doing it..."

"I don't know if I'm the right guy to do that for you then," I looked at Julie's face, still flushed and nervous. She really was a sweet girl. I had pegged her wrong at the start. She had been helpful and conscientious, if a bit unsure of herself.

"You're exactly the right guy because of that." Trish spoke up. "Henry, do you have any idea how many guys would be lunging at the chance to pop her cherry without even thinking about how she feels."

"I guess, I just worry that I'm going to screw things up again," I admitted, looking back and forth between the two young women.

"Do you think ... I mean, not like a gay thing or anything, but ... Trish, do you think you could be there?" Julie asked, her voice wavering slightly.

"What, you mean in bed?" Trish looked at Julie quizzically.

"I mean, you've ... you've done it before, I mean, and I trust you." Julie explained. "I don't mean porno style stuff, just ... be there?"

"I think that'd be okay..." I tried to play it cool, but in my head all I could imagine was the two of them getting it on. I admit it, I'm a sick, evil fuck.

"Are you horny or something?" Trish asked.

"Well, uhm, I'm getting there..." I replied, with visions of naked women dancing in my head.

"Ever since that dream last night..." Julie admitted.

"Oh wow. This is just totally weird." Trish raised her voice and spoke at the ceiling. "Are you bitches fucking with us?"

"Actually I think it's just..." I had been having sexual thoughts constantly, and I knew it was a side effect of my dreams. But then again, here I was in the company of two beautiful women...

"Ok. Let's get this out in the open. I'm horny too." Trish admitted. "I don't know why. I don't know why I didn't take the pill. I don't know why I keep fantasizing about you both, as well as chicks that I've never seen before. This is driving me crazy. I mean, good crazy but, crazy. And the worst part is that I'm not gay either."

"Wait, you're thinking about me?" Julie exclaimed.

"You didn't take the pill?" That little revelation was definite news. That must have been why she hadn't thought much about me buying condoms.

"She's ... God, I can't believe I'm saying this. It's Lesley. If I fight her hard, she can't do anything, but I can't be fighting her all the time." Trish gasped out, and I noticed that she was beginning to become flushed. "She likes making me horny. She likes ... making me think about it. Whispering to me, reminding me of those feelings. She hasn't asked, because I think she knows I'll say no. I think she's waiting until ... until I can't resist her anymore."

"And Martha just ... she didn't ask before last night, but that domestic thing, well it ties into everything I ever wanted when I was little," Julie bit her lower lip nervously, seeming to want to continue.

"I think ... I'm just a horny guy." The joke brought a chuckle from everyone present.

"I ... I have to stop talking." Trish suddenly seemed to snap to attention, and her eyes were reflected in the light of the setting sun. "She ... she's talking to me. Can you hear it?"

I shook my head, unable to make out any sounds in the house.

"She's here. I can feel her ... Oh god..." Trish's eyes squeezed shut, and the flush came over her features again. "I want to ... Don't ask me Lesley ... I can't..."

I rose from my chair, alarmed at the way that Trish's hands were gripping the arms of her chair. Her eyes were screwed shut tightly, and I thought I could make out the vestiges of tears at the corners of her eyes. Her breath was coming fast now, and the light was fading just as rapidly.

"Don't ... please ... you know I want that ... No ... I'm not going to take her..." Trish's words were almost inaudible, whispered inwards.

"Trish." I crossed to her chair and kneeled in front of it. "Look at me."

Trish's eyes fluttered, and slowly came open. I could see the light brown of her eyes beginning to fade, and the desire mixed with fear in them.

"Lesley." I spoke again, looking directly at Trish. "If you love me ... don't do this. Don't hurt her."

"Oh my god..." Julie gasped from over my shoulder, and I could feel her hand as it came down on my back. It was trembling slightly.

"She ... Henry ... Eimear..." Trish's voice was becoming indistinct as she spoke. "I want that love..."

"Lesley. Stop it." I snarled, my hands coming up to lay atop Trish's. As I touched her, she suddenly flipped her hands over and gripped mine with a desperate strength.

"Help ... me..." Trish gasped out.

"You want me, Lesley. Don't hurt Trish." I made the offer with a genuine desire to stop Trish from being hurt. Physically, she was fine, but I knew this was emotional torture.

For a moment, Trish's hands held me tightly. Then, they slackened, and I saw the pale blue fading from her eyes.

"My love..." The voice seemed to come from everywhere in the room, and I looked into Trish's eyes as they regained their original brown. For a moment, I saw disappointment in them, but there was another, stronger look of relief.

And that's when I watched my hands slide up to cup her face.

I didn't move them. I didn't have any conscious control. For a moment I was tempted to fight it, but then I heard the words in my head.

"Eimear ... let go..." The soft accent. Lesley's voice. Her true voice, not filtered through another body. I felt my hand stroke along Trish's cheek, slowly wiping away a tear with my thumb.

"I wasn't going to hurt you..." I heard myself say, and as I heard it, I felt Julie's hand snatched away from me like I had suddenly lit on fire.

"Les ... Lesley?" Trish looked at me with a frightened expression.

"Shhh ... Eimear's here..." My hand continued to stroke along Trish's face, and I could feel her fear fading, feel her relaxing into the touch.

"What did you do to him, you bitch?" Julie shrieked.

"I didn't hurt her. She's fine." In those words, I finally saw how Lesley saw me. Pale, brunette. I saw the slim body, hard callused hands. It was the body of a woman who worked hard, a woman who would and had given everything for her love. I felt the love. I felt the overwhelming surge of home that Lesley had for me. I felt her, in my heart. Trish had been right. It was ... heavenly.

"Lesley. What do you want?" Trish spoke clearly, but her eyes floated around my face as if there was something wrong with it.

"Eimear ... she doesn't really love you, but ... she's very fond of you." Lesley was speaking my innermost thoughts. I couldn't hide anything from her. I was tempted to fight, but the overwhelming feeling of connection that I had to her made that pointless. I didn't want to hide my thoughts from my love.

"He's..." Trish's face became hopeful. "You know I don't love him. Not like you do."

"She knows that. She wants you ... and that makes me a little sad." The words were not mine. I felt like I was being swept along in a current, as my fingers slid over the skin of Trish's face. "I ... could share ... but only with someone I loved..."

Trish shivered slightly under my touch, and through the floorboards, I could feel Julie approaching again. It was amazing how much awareness I had. I could feel everything. Without control, it freed me to use all my senses to the utmost. I could smell the wood, the sea outside, and even the intoxicating scent of female arousal. Trish was still ... excited. But she wasn't the only scent in the air, and I realized that despite her fear, Julie was in an amorous state as well.

"I'm not ... I'm into Henry." Trish stammered out, right before my lips came down on hers. I heard the gasp of Julie behind us, and felt Trish's lips quiver as she slowly let herself sink into the kiss. I teased at her lips, tasting the soft skin with gentle touches of my tongue, before slipping it inside of her mouth, and caressing her internally. Trish shivered again as she began to respond, her nervous response growing more ardent as it continued.

Lesley held the kiss for far longer than I had ever kissed a woman. She reveled in it, and I could feel my body becoming rigid, as well as Lesley's passion rising.

"Stop it. You're ... you're scaring me." Julie panted out, in obvious arousal.

"And you, Julie ... Martha told me about you." My hands slid down to rest on Trish's hands as my face turned to look at the face of Julie.

"She ... oh god..." Julie gasped, taking a step back as I rose to my full height, my hand gripping Trish's tightly.

"You lied to my love. You didn't tell her about what Martha was really showing you." I caught a flash of Julie in my mind, her hand in her crotch, rubbing furiously as she gasped, clutching at the blankets.

"She said ... She ... I'm not gay!" Julie objected, as my hand reached out slowly, reaching for her hand.

"Of course you're not." I felt my hands holding two lovely girls hands, and the soft trembles in Julie's seemed to belie her statements. "But you are ... interested."

Julie nodded, seeming to admit it to herself.

"What do you want, Lesley?" Trish asked again, her hand squeezing mine.

"I want to love you. I want that." Lesley was making no sense. I could tell from what she was saying that she was directing the comments to both women. She wanted, me, and them now?

"What about Henry? What about your ... that baby you want?" Trish asked, her eyes searching across the face that Lesley wore.

"You mean ... the baby you're carrying?" I felt my voice ask.

"That I'm ... It's only been a couple ... I couldn't be..." Trish's hand dropped to rub against her lower stomach.

"She is you know..." I heard Lesley's voice in my head, a quiet whisper. "She's let me in her body every night. She likes to let go, and just let me play with her body. She likes it when I make her come. I can feel it inside her."

"I should ... why didn't you ... Oh my god..." Trish continued, her hand tightening on mine. It felt possessive.

"We both wanted it that night." Lesley intoned the words, and I could feel the memory, how Trish had resisted for only a moment, before she surrendered to the feeling of letting me mate with her totally.

"It was ... it was beautiful, but I ... I didn't want to be..."Trish squeezed my hand tighter, licking her lips.

"I do want to love you, Trish. I want it to be our baby." I couldn't believe what Lesley was saying.

"What about me? You want to get me pregnant too? Is that what you bitches want?" Julie's voice became angrier.

"Yes..." I felt myself say.

"This is fucking crazy. No fucking way. That's why you keep doing this to me? That why you keep driving me crazy with these ... lesbo fantasies?" I felt my hand grip down on Julie's as she attempted to pull away.

"No ... we only do what you..."

"Bullshit. I don't want ... I'm not a dyke. I'm not ... I'm a virgin for christ's sake!" Julie pulled harder, but Lesley wasn't letting her go.

"Stop hurting her." I fought hard for just a moment, and felt my fingers unclench and Julie's hand snap away. There was a flash of anger that filled me, before it was replaced by resignation.

"You're right ... I'm scaring her..." Lesley whispered to me. My hand tugged Trish to her feet, and I noted that her free hand still sat on her stomach, rubbing gently.

"Stay away from me..." Julie stepped backwards, interposing a chair between me and her.

"I'm sorry. I ... Eimear told me to stop scaring you." Lesley apologized, and I could feel her pull Trish into a one armed embrace. Trish seemed to melt into it, the fear still there, but finding comfort in the closeness.

"Stop calling him that. His name is Henry!" Julie lashed out.

"She has a lot of names. I love Eimear." The other names that the spirits referred to me as flashed through my mind. Yamabuki. Frances. For a dark moment, the name Henry almost felt like it didn't belong. Like it was an invader that was despoiling something beautiful.

"Lesley, please..." Trish hugged me tightly, her voice pleading. "Stop ... Just let us be..."

"Do you really want that? Just tell me to go away forever, and I will." Lesley wasn't lying, but I knew she was making an offer she had no intention of following through on. She was depending on Trish's desire to cement that connection. It felt dishonest, cheating really.