Chapter 27

I think the hug-fest might have gone on a lot longer, if my stomach hadn't announced the fact that I hadn't eaten in five days. I had something to drink in there, but the cask of ale wasn't all that nourishing. I smelled a little like the stable, too. With the scraggly whiskers I was staring to sprout, I probably looked a little like that Freddie the Freeloader character Red Skelton did on his show.

As I was led away from my workroom, I had another reason to feel like a jerk. The Princesses were only too happy to fill me in on the battle of Orlinthas. My father had used gulls to deliver the dust, and then the one sided battle commenced. He and Melanie weren't the only heroes of the day. Because of her pregnancy, Bernie was held in reserve. Not so for Ann and Denise. I believe I mentioned the fact that we trained together. The combined spell of theirs to create waterspouts was devastating. Air and water worked together to produce vortexes that swallowed ship after ship. They explained that they had also been horrified afterwards, and guess who snapped them out of it?

"Karen showed us something", Ann told me. "She used a bowl of water, and scried a town that had been hit. You don't ever want to see something like that, Paul. It was horrible! Suddenly, we didn't feel bad at all about what we did. We felt proud. I hope they drowned slowly, honestly I do.

The girls sure fixed me up right. Before I knew what was going on, I found myself in that big tub. Two were feeding me, two were washing me, and one was shaving me. The other two were raising enough hell for all of them. I had two extremely pissed off princesses. The things they threatened me with if I pulled this shit again made sure all the naked flesh wouldn't have any effect on me at all.

I knew it was just because they cared, and resorted to "Yes, dear's", as my only reply. As if the tongue lashing hadn't been enough, they dragged my ass out of that nice bath and made me put on some brand new clothes. At least they were the kind I didn't mind wearing. I thought they were a little formal for what I had in mind. The short trip to the bed didn't seem like a state occasion.

Unfortunately, a state occasion was exactly what they had dressed me for. I went straight from the bath, to the throne room. All the space not consumed by royalty and advisors, was crammed full of guardsmen and onlookers. There, in front of God and everybody, The Queen actually knighted my ass!

Just as I thought she was about done, and I would be able to get some sleep, she really threw me a curve. "I dub thee Sir Sean-Paul", she said as she used my own Katana to do the dirty deed, "Knight-Protector of Orlinth, and cede to thee all lands and titles this entails!"

If I hadn't known this was such a big deal, the collective intake of breath that about sucked all the air from the place would have tipped me off. Even the parents looked shocked. The only ones with smiles big enough to give away the fact that they had known, were Geri and Delia. And the Queen, of course. Her smile was just as big. I almost protested, but then I saw that fat Duke. It looked like he had just bitten a lemon. I didn't know what just happened, but if it pissed him off, I liked it.

I wasn't the only one she bestowed honors on. My mates who weren't already royalty received the title "Grand Duchess". I wasn't sure what that was, but it sounded important. I was happy for them. They certainly deserved the honor, whatever it was.

After a lengthy celebration, and congratulations for something I didn't even know what I had received, we were finally allowed to retire. That's when I got the whole story. Geri and Delia were laughing their cute little asses off, as they told us.

"I could see you had no idea, but we didn't have the chance to tell you. As soon as mother said those words, you became the highest ranked male in Orlinth. Congratulations Grand Duke Sean-Paul, Knight Protector, and ruler of the province of Lothan", explained Geri.

Delia took it from there. "The Grand Duchy of Lothan is not only the largest estate in Orlinth, it is largely self-governing. The title to this land comes along with the responsibility of being the Knight-Protector", she explained. "While each Duchy and Barony must pay taxes and provide armsmen to the Kingdom, the Grand Duchy of Lothan does not. Traditionally, however, it has always done so. Crops include grapes, hops, barley, wheat, and corn. It boasts the best winery in Orlinth, and is known as the breadbasket of our country."

I was more than a little overwhelmed, and concerned about the current duke who cared for it. Geri explained that the concern was unfounded. "The last Knight-Protector was killed in battle before our mother's reign began. The land has been managed by caretakers since then. It might also be of interest to you that unless I miss my guess, the gateway you entered our land through lies in the Duchy. Your friend pointed out the location, as we studied maps with him. I believe had you chosen the opposite direction when you arrived, you would have come to the manor very soon."

"I appreciate the thought, ladies", I sighed. "Really, I do, but how could I possibly deal with something like that? Horses and cattle I know, but crops? I wouldn't know the first thing about them!"

"Nor should you", replied Delia. "That is what the caretaker is for. You are not even expected to reside there. Your place is here, by the side of the Queen. You were named Knight-Protector, not farmer. It is expected that you visit once or twice a year, but that is all."

"Not good enough", I stated. "If I am supposed to look after the land, I will not do it from the castle. I refuse to do a job half-assed. Sorry, but it's just not the way I am. If I am to manage the Duchy, I'll just have to learn how to do it the right way."

The question "But what of your duties here?", was simply answered. "I will set up a permanent gate between the castle and Duchy", I explained. Preferably in a place accessible only to trusted individuals, on both ends. I will be able to respond in minutes, so distance should not be an issue."

Everyone present seemed happy with that decision, and we went to bed. Oddly enough, we went to sleep immediately. All of us were too tired for more. I was awake the longest. I had trouble getting the visions of bringing modern farming methods to my new land, and was preoccupied. Being kicked in the back and stomach by my sons and daughters was also a distraction, but a pleasant one. Yes, the son was plural. Bernie was going to have a boy.

I woke up feeling like a ping-pong ball. It felt like those kids were trying to kick their way out of there. I don't know how the girls slept through the carnage going on inside them, but they did. I even worked my way out the foot of the bed without waking them. As I dressed, I considered my new position, and what I might accomplish with the Duchy. Not surprisingly, horses came to mind. The ones here were pretty lame, by my standards. Bringing breeding stock through the portal had real possibilities. Having a breeding operation on both sides would be a huge benefit. I was even considering breeding Clydesdales and Percherons for farm work.

When we joined the Queen's table for breakfast, she announced that a holiday had been declared. Even now, a celebration was being prepared for that evening. It was expected to last several days, and we were expected to show ourselves at a few events. I liked a party as much as the next guy, but I was really looking forward to seeing Lothan. I thought I would be able to escape there today, but it would have to wait.

I mentioned it once, and got shot down for another reason. All of my wives wanted to see it with me, and none would travel by gate before the children were born. The best I could get was the promise of a quick tour if several wet nurses could be found.

Mom was just chock full of surprises. I found out something new about the O'Hara elders every day, but she took the cake. I knew she was in charge of the witch's guild, but hadn't known she started the whole thing. It was more than I knew, too. Not only did they handle sanitation and local disputes, they were the eyes and ears of the realm. That's right, spies. Mom was the head of that, also. It was in this way that they learned of our arrival.

Melanie was the one behind indoor plumbing, and I thanked her every time I made a deposit. The girls ran the idea of constructing cooling towers to provide air conditioning, and it looked like she was going to use that idea, too. I wished her luck. The castle was cooler than Zarana had been, but it was still hot. Only the thick walls and proximity to the sea, kept it bearable. Of course, all that water made for higher humidity. In the end, it was a wash. Some days, it was like a sauna in the place, and some days it was nice. It depended on which way the wind was blowing.

Denise had talked to them a lot, but I was just getting the opportunity. I had lost even the small amount of resentment I'd felt about being left at the home. Put in their place, I would have done the same thing. Hindsight would have dictated otherwise, but they acted in what they believed to be our best interest. I couldn't fault them for that, even if I had wanted to.

We were even able to teach them something. I was discussing the teleportation spell with dad at one of the parties we had to attend, and discovered that the spell they knew wasn't the one we used. Only three words were different, but it got our curiosity aroused.

While I was thinking about it, I asked him about the funky hand gestures and stuff I had seen the wizard I faced go through. He chuckled, and whispered "I hope the bad guys here never figure out that shit isn't needed. They seem to think you have to say the words out loud, wave your hands all over the place, and all kinds of silly stuff. Hell, some of them actually use wands! It almost cost me, the first time I saw that. I was laughing so hard that I had trouble concentrating."

The difference in the teleportation spell confused me. Hadn't they been the ones that left those books? If so, how come our version of the spell was different. When I questioned him about it, he asked what book that particular spell had come from. Then it dawned on me. I had done the spell the first time, and the girls had simply copied me. I hadn't read it in their books, I had read it in mine. When I told dad, he wasn't surprised.

"Marcus experimented all the time. He always wanted to be one step ahead of everyone else. I used to kid him about it, until he told me why. He said that besides being fun, it helped him live a little longer. It's like that witches concoction for the shield dust. I don't think you realize it, but that advantage saved us a lot of grief. We would have won, there isn't much doubt about that. The help you brought with you is almost as effective as it is pretty. Still, more damage could've been done by that attempted invasion. We've stopped several attempts on the port, but this is the first one in which we suffered neither damage, nor casualties. Not only defeating their wizards soundly, but destroying them, is something we're not used to.

The next morning, dad had a blast. In retrospect, he conceded that teleporting a cow into his bedroom hadn't been his wisest move. It literally scared the crap out of the animal, and his wives had been less than amused at the new fragrance it created in their apartments. Sometimes women just didn't have a sense of humor.

I didn't either, when people who were important to me were insulted. The fact that the rumor was meant to hurt me, made no difference. It also reflected badly on the royal families honor. Someone was spreading a story that suggested my contest with the princesses was not only planned ahead of time, but choreographed to the smallest detail. Impugning the Queen's honesty could not be tolerated, and mom wasted no time in tracking down the source. No one was surprised, when that turned out to be the rotund Duke who had grown so fond of me.

I was all set to challenge the man, but it seemed kind of stupid. He was not exactly in the best shape, and I was worried what people would think when I kicked his ass. Geri and Delia assured me that even though the challenge would be issued to him, he could name a champion to face me in his stead.

"If you issue the challenge", they warned me, "it will not be an easy foe you will face. Since you are the challenger, your opponent will have choice of weapons. All have heard of your skill with the staff and the sword, but you will likely face someone twice your size. The Duke has a man renowned for his brawling, and he has never lost a contest. It is him you shall face."

It's a good thing we were in our apartment. The laughter from the others was fairly loud. Geri and Delia were looking confused, until Kelley explained the extent of our training, and assured them "Don't worry, because we sure won't be. People here have no idea of the way we fight hand-to-hand, but they will soon. Tubby is in for a surprise, I think."

The challenge was issued on the following day, and accepted shortly afterwards. It looked like it had not only been expected, it had been planned. I had two days to prepare, and I used them. Sure, I spent some time sparring with Claude and the others, but that was only half of it. I put mom to work, and I'm certain that I knew much more about my opponent than he did of me.