Chapter 24

Sleeping in the open had one drawback. The nocturnal exercise was impossible, and all Ann and I could do was talk and cuddle. It was still nice, and we got more sleep than usual. I noticed Claude and Nance talked almost as far into the night as we did.

The next day was more of the same, but at a slower pace. As a result, we were able to talk with the guardsmen while we rode, and learned a little bit more about Orlinth. It seemed like a nice place, and was improving yearly. They credited much of this to the O'Haras, but we pointed out that change can't happen without the cooperation and work of the population. They agreed, but surmised that once the people saw the difference it made in their daily lives, that part had been easy.

The escort, we discovered, was from the "Queen's Own". They were bashful about admitting it, but it wasn't hard to tell that these were the "elite". There was no way any ruler would have a personal guard that was other than the best.

On the third day, their skill was put to the test. So was ours, but it was an unexpected advantage we possessed that made certain defeat turn into victory. We could see where the road passed through a wooded area ahead, when Smokey sent "They wait for you in the trees, wizard. What do you wish us to do?"

A little clarification, as I pretended to check for a rock in Diablo's shoe, revealed that there were over fifty waiting in ambush. Claude had been riding next to Nance, and when I called her over to "help me", he followed.

as they approached, he said in a low voice "What is it? I know you wouldn't need help with a rock."

I explained the situation, and Nance nodded. It's a good spot, and likely would have succeeded. I doubt our scout could have detected them there. They would have let him pass, in order to trap us. I want the eight of you to remain here, with half of the troop. The rest of us will take care of them."

I beat Claude to whatever he was getting ready to say, and snarled. "Like hell, you will. I don't care how good you are, there are only twenty of you. Five to one is suicide, and I won't allow it. Now, here is what's going to happen."

Claude actually looked kind of proud, as I laid out my plan. Nance looked astonished, and asked "You can do that?" I assured her I could, and asked the girls to allow me some "practice time". They faked a pout, but agreed.

Some of the things I was doing hadn't been practiced much, and I really did want to try them out. I asked Smokey and his buds to vacate the premises before I began. The first phase worked fairly well, from the screams emanating from the woods. Fifteen made it out, but soon found themselves trapped in holes ten foot deep, and with sheer sides they couldn't get out of.

Earth magic was the only element I used, but it was all that was needed. The trees had come in handy, especially the ones that had vines hanging off of them. Nance dispatched a detail to deal with the ones in the holes, and led the way into the woods. She and the lieutenant had a good laugh at what presented itself.

Nance pointed at the first one, and said "Look there, Yance! Isn't that the ugliest fruit you've ever seen?"

He looked at the bandit hanging upside down a good distance in the air, and proclaimed "Sure is! Looks rotten to me, see how purple it's turning? That's just not natural, if you ask me. I think it's the blight."

They teased a couple more of them, but soon they were all rounded up and securely tied. Other than the one fool who cut himself loose from the tree and broke his neck, the rest were relatively unharmed. At least for the present.

After some prodding, the leader of the bunch was identified. Nance's questioning didn't get anything out of him, and she wanted some answers. I had just the fellow for the job. Smokey trotted over, and grinned at me. I told him what we needed, and he was all for it. First, I asked why they attacked us, and though he'd already pissed himself upon seeing the wolf, he remained silent.

I waited a moment, and tried an evil sneer. "Oh good!", I gushed like I was nuts, "a tough one! I love it when they resist. Let me tell you what is about to happen to you. My friend here is always hungry. He'll eat almost anything, including animals as ugly as you. He'll start with your hands, I think."

Smokey started to lean towards him, but I called him back. I think the guy shit himself that time. "I should add", I informed him, "that we wouldn't want you to bleed out too quickly. Each stub will be sealed by fire". I pointed to a bush next to him, and incinerated it. "Oh yes, I forgot. Smokey just loves sweetmeats. I see you're marinating yours already. I think we'll save those for last."

When he heard that, his eyes rolled up in his head and he fainted. All I needed to do was look at the next one, and he told us everything we wanted to know. Word had spread about us coming to the castle, and these fools got the idea of ransoming us. They had no idea we were wizards, and that might have made them think twice about their plan.

We found their horses, and tied the bandits on them. After we started, Nance and Claude dropped back to join the rest of us. The girls were still laughing about my "ogre act", when Claude remarked "Remind me to never piss you off. I think my balls retracted to my nostrils when you came up with that sweetmeat shit."

Nance laughed so hard she about fell off of her horse. Then, she said "That was brilliant! All of it! I think we could have whipped that bunch, but we would have lost people. As for the questioning, you almost had me convinced that idiot was about to be chomped on. The wolf wouldn't have really done that, would he?"

"No", I admitted. "Oh, he would have ripped the guy's throat out quick enough, but eat him? Not in a million years. Smokey has better taste than that. He's a pretty good actor, though. It wasn't easy for him. His nose is kind of sensitive, and the smell was getting fairly intense."

"It will get worse, before it gets better", confided Nance. He's going to stay that way until we get to the castle. I'll make sure he's downwind, but he'll be surrounded by his friends. I'm sure they'll appreciate the fragrance."

"Damn! That's almost as bad as scaring it out of him", I said. "What will the Queen do to them?"

"They'll hang, of course", she answered nonchalantly. "Attacking the guard carries a death sentence. Attacking the wizard O'Hara, or his family, also means death. Too bad they can only hang once."

It was a sobering thought, but when I thought of the girls being captured by that bunch, I agreed with the sentence. I doubt they could have pulled it off, but they had tried. That was good enough for me.

Evidently, Denise wasn't happy with them either. We didn't realize it until the retching started, but she had created a circular air movement that held the smell in the circle of prisoners. I'm sure it got even more aromatic after a few hours.

A runner approached Captain Terlew as we entered Orlinthas, and delivered a message that she then related to us. "I am instructed to deliver you to the castle immediately. I am not to stop for anyone, or anything. Is this acceptable?"

"No", I replied. "Horses first, castle second. We take care of our own, including our mounts. I hope the Queen isn't too upset, but that's the way it has to be."

Nance laughed, but I didn't understand the "Oh, I know some people that are just going to love you. Stable it is, then."

It didn't delay us very long, and Diablo declared the accommodations acceptable. I would've bitched if he complained. It was like a horse palace in there. Heck, he might even let himself be pampered along with the rest of them.

We were escorted directly to a large room, complete with a throne. An imposing woman was standing in front of it, surrounded by a group of people. Some of them looked very familiar. They looked just like the photographs. I'm sure it was supposed to be a dignified occasion, but it didn't work out that way. Denise and I were mobbed by the three I knew, and just about kissed and hugged to death.

The women were both still crying, but the man managed to say "Damn, are you a sight for sore eyes! We've missed you both so much, and we have so much to tell you!"

He was crying too. Hell, we all were. I controlled myself, and made the introductions. "Father, Mother, Melanie, I'd like you to meet some people". I called the four who had been hanging back, and presented them in the order they got to me. "My wives, Bernie, Cheryl, Ann, and Kelley. You already know my sister-wife Denise, though you remember her as Susan."

The woman I recognized as my mother, said "Oh, my", but smiled. Melanie was smiling too, so I guess they weren't upset about the situation. Dad said "Five? Already? We didn't think it would happen so soon."

"What would happen?", I asked. "Is there something we should know?"

"There's a lot you need to know, Sean", he confirmed. We didn't have as much time as we thought, and a lot was left unsaid. We could only hope that we had left enough of the tools you would need. Still, we didn't expect you to make it for years, if ever."

"But how did you get here?", Denise asked. "I thought it took a war wizard to make a portal. Where are they?"

Melanie looked sad, as she answered. "His name was Marcus, and he was a great friend. He was half way through the portal when it collapsed. There was nothing we could do. He was the one who developed the spell, and was still tinkering with it. Some of the changes you don't know about. It's part of what we need to tell you. That will happen later, but at the moment, we should introduce you to Queen Ariel. It's not polite to keep her waiting for so long.

They led us to the throne, where three women stood. They were obviously related. Each one stood over six feet tall, and they looked like sisters. All of them had dark red hair, golden skin, and the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen. Two of them were dressed very differently from the one in the center. She wore a velvet gown, but the bookends were wearing skin tight black leather. They looked like something straight out of a bondage flick. They were also quite beautiful.

Introductions were made, and we discovered their names. Geriluanna and Delanafionna were princesses and the heirs apparent, as well as walking wet dreams. The catcalls I heard in my mind from the peanut gallery weren't helping, either. I knew my interest had been noticed by the girls, but I could tell they were right there with me.

I didn't think the princesses shared the feeling, especially when the one on the left remarked "Five wives? You are either a man among men, or a glutton. Which is it, wizard?"

I thought she was being snobbish, but when I said "I prefer to think of myself as being more fortunate than I have any right to be, princess", she smiled and answered "Well said!"

My relief was short-lived. She looked across the Queen, and said "I vote for the man among men. What say you, sister?"

The other one nodded, and answered "I think we should find out, sister."