Chapter 7

"Do you know how Andy makes his money?" Natty asked Karen as they dined in bed on a decadent breakfast of ham and eggs and fresh squeezed orange juice and coffee, Karen knowing the conventions of the house calling down via telephone to Martha once they had all awakened and had the cook's daughter bring the meal up to them, the young woman spending most of her time staring at Natty with an expression of awe, fear and anger, as if she was witnessing the mating of an alien creature with fellow humans, the pudgy, unhappy woman never having known a negro or seen such a beautiful woman was mostly confused emotionally.

"The Niemi family has been in the area for generations," explained Karen, "part of an influx of Finnish settlers and sailors before the turn of the century. Mostly working class, socialist in politics, the Finn's are a tough, resilient and independent people, like their language which they share with few other Europeans, the Romanians are closest, but the Niemi's found they had a knack for profiting from their fellow Finns through trade, selling the products of their peoples' work ethic and sending them out into the world via Finnish seamanship that could travel through the most perilous of winters, and having those ships return with products the family could sell to their community. Andy is part of a continuum from father to son of taking over the business with skills learned from the father from an early age and expanding on it even when Thunder Bay became less and less important as a port, to the point that Andy has a business network throughout Canada. Unfortunately, the family business seems like it will end with Andy unless Sheila stops being a drug addled bohemian and takes on what Andy had trained her to be. It's happened before, the oldest son embracing the pleasure side of the Niemi's, a parallel tradition, Sheila's grandfather and great grandfather were disciples of Crowley, and Andy himself spent several dissolute years traveling aimlessly with the fortune paying the way until his father took ill and he took up the mantle with great skill. The rebels in the Niemi clan were the ones who were disgusted by their fathers' dissolute attitude and profligate ways, like my husband, stoic and proud to make his way in the world with his hands, earning his keep respectably like a good Finnish socialist."

"But I do think SHE is involved in the business, and it is directly related to her drug taking," said Joseph, informing Karen of the suspicious transaction the night before.

"I wouldn't be surprised. One of the biggest expansions of their wealth came during Prohibition when Andy's grandfather supposedly had one of the most disciplined rum running businesses in Canada. Andy's ambivalent about drugs; he only smokes pot from time to time and rarely drinks to excess. His father probably shortened his life considerably by his drug use, and Andy is a bright enough man to learn from his father's mistakes, but if he could make a lot of money and could get away with it, I don't think it would cause him any sleepless nights."

"But SHE is sampling the product," said Joseph.

During the ensuing silence, Joseph watched Natty, her face more concentrated in thought than he could ever remember. Finally it was too much to debate inside her head and she began telling Karen what she had told Joseph, about her father and his junkie friends. Karen had been passive, even amused when she told them about the Niemi legacy, but quickly realized the seriousness and the dilemma involved with Andy's choice of profit making endeavors for her new lover.

"If I confront him with my feelings, how would he react?" asked Natty. "Would he be annoyed, wondering why I don't mind my own business? Would he care if Joseph disassociated himself, taking away the Order instead of having the opportunity to participate in its earliest development, because Joseph is already at work on his second book? Would he feel used, not only in giving us shelter and having us shun him, but bargaining with him, forcing him to choose between great profit and a great prophet? Or worst of all, being a member of organized crime, would he have us rubbed out, Joseph and me and, the worst of the worst, Devi?

"And what if I said nothing? What if I compartmentalized? Andy, the rich benefactor, keeping Joseph from the distractions of making a buck to survive so that he can concentrate on his philosophy and exercises and writings and the expansion of the Order, giving us a place of refuge and comfort when things get tough, leaving Andy to his devices so that he can sustain this wonderful refuge? Could I be okay with that, with him providing a drug that helped kill my father's best friend, or is killing or at least numbing his daughter, helping her develop a useless life revolving solely around finding and fixing a shot and returning to the comfort of oblivion, a dead life? Or does he believe it's all a matter of choice, we choose our own poison and why not profit from the choice because no one is choosing it for you; no one is forcing it down your throat or into your veins? Could I make peace with that?

"And what if I can't? What if I'm the only one who has witnessed the evil men and women do to themselves for the price of a fix and neither one of you think it's such a big deal and I am left with only one decision, to break up, to break away, to return to my life before Joseph, except with Devi, the one brilliant representative of Joseph in my life, a little sad every time I look at her, but happy she's there, and continue like we had planned anyway except you wouldn't be allowed into my life anymore?"

Joseph was stunned with terror. Even though he had begun the journey intending to leave Natty and Devi behind, coming back to them from time to time or perhaps for the rest of his life if his journey brought him to that place, having her come to him made him realize he had been foolish to think he could journey without her, that if she couldn't have come, he would have waited until she could or until he knew the paths he took alone would always be circular and as brief as possible. When Natty threatened to leave him the night before, he didn't want to show childishness by crying but couldn't stop himself. This time he wanted desperately to cry, to squeeze the terror out of his eyes, but he was too stunned.

"Joseph?" said a frightened Karen, and again, "Joseph?" She was staring at a catatonic body with a face formed into a grimacing mask. "Oh fuck, what's wrong with him?"

"I don't know," said Natty, equally frightened as well as repulsed by a man who had never even been close to repulsing her. "I've never seen him like this. I've never seen him ugly." The two women couldn't even touch him to see if he responded as if he might break either mentally or physically if they did, so they stared at him, studied him, found beauty in the profundity of his terror. "I love you Joseph," murmured Natty. "Come back to me, please."

Terrible quiet and stillness was violently broken by Devi wailing. Immediately Joseph awoke from his trance and struggled weakly to the crib, staring down at his and Natty's creation until he felt strong enough to lift her out of the crib and into his arms, smiling at her as she quickly calmed and smiled back. "Let's go," he said towards Devi but not exactly to her.