Chapter 8

(Kelly)

I hopped off of Mikes lap and said," I getting a glass of water, because I'm thirsty with all this talking. Would you like one too?"

"Sure."

I walked over to the kitchen and grabbed two glasses down from the cupboard. I filled them with ice and water, and turned back to Mike.

I paused, on my way back to the sofa, because for a second, I thought he'd fallen asleep. His eyes were open, though, and, staring at his past. I also noticed that he was hard.

"He's thinking about Lisa," I thought

I put our glasses on the coffee table. and left him to enjoy his memories.

I went into my bedroom, and straightened the covers that we'd rumpled earlier. My god, I'd needed that. A large part of me had been ... Not 'dead, ' exactly, but definitely not alive. Not like I was alive, now.

I pulled off my blouse, and looked at it. The buttons had been scattered all around, but I thought, I'll just leave it the way it is. For the memory. Evidence of my wake up call. I took my name tag off and set it on my dresser. I pulled a sweat shirt out of my dresser, and put it on.

I went over to the chair, in the corner and picked up the old green Army tee shirt that Daniel had given me three years ago. I'd been wearing this shirt to bed every night since Daniel had died. I smiled as I held it to my chest.

"I still love you Daniel, I always will,"

I thought. I gently folded it and put it away in my bottom dresser drawer. It was time. Time to get on with my life. I didn't know, yet, what I was going to wear to bed, tonight. With a sigh, I went back out to the main room.

Mike was still lost in thought, but it was time to bring him back to the here and now. "Mike? Mike?" I sat next to him and shook his shoulder a bit, "Earth to Mike, I said.

He jumped a bit, and his eyes came back into focus. "Oh; Kelly. Sorry, I was-"

"You were thinking about Lisa," I interrupted. "I could tell. That's okay, because I could also tell they were happy memories.

"I was afraid that you'd fall asleep, here on the sofa, so I called you back. I hope you don't mind..."

"No, I'm kinda glad you did."

"Good." I sipped some water, and put the glass back on the table. "I only have a little bit left to tell, and then we can get to sleep. It has been a long day.

"Daniel and I worked that summer. I worked downstairs as a waitress, and evening manager. Daniel worked for the park district. I did what you'd expect, and Daniel did everything from mowing grass, to building a ball field.

"We both went to State, for college, and Daniel joined the ROTC program. He chose an engineering major. I didn't choose a major, just core classes, because I didn't really know what I wanted to do." I laughed. "I still don't know.

"Any way, we lived in the dorms, our freshman year, because the school required it. That really sucked, but, we made do.

"During spring break, Daniel had to go do his first two weeks of Basic Training, and it was really hard being apart. I was working downstairs, again, or I think I'd have gone nuts.

"That summer, he finished his Basic Training, and then went back to his park district job for the rest of the summer. It didn't seem too bad, while he was gone, that time, even though it was longer. I guess that I knew from experience, that he'd be back.

"Grandmama made me be the manager, in the coffee shop. I had to do it all, just like now, but, she looked over my shoulder all the time. She'd ask why I made each decision, the way I did. She'd tell me if she would have done something different, and why. But, she never let me go back on something. If I made a decision, I had to live with it.

"Now, of course, I run the place. She still checks behind me, but, I think it's just for show.

"Sophomore year was more of the same, living in the dorms, classes, friends, all of the college experience.

"We were at a New Years Eve dance, with our folks, here in town, when Daniel got on his knees, in front of every one. As the ball was dropping on the tv, he asked me to marry him. I totally freaked, and didn't say yes until a good five minutes past midnight. Daniel liked to joke that it took a year to get an answer from me.

"We were married the second day of spring break, and our parents sent us to Cancun for our honeymoon.

"That summer, Daniel went on active duty for "orientation." He spent two weeks each in various jobs, learning about the different parts of the army. He got to drive tanks, shoot cannons, fire missiles, and, finally went for parachute training."

I found that I'd crawled back into Mike's lap, as I was talking, and that he was holding me tightly, and rocking me again. His support gave me the strength I needed to finish what I had to say.

"Daniel had to make ten jumps, and then he'd be able to come home for the rest of the summer. He made nine jumps, with no problems. On his last jump, something broke. His parachute didn't open right.

"I was in shock, and mostly a zombie, after we were told. Daniel's parents, and Dad, had to make all the arrangements. I just went where I was told. I could hardly move unless someone was guiding me. Grandmama, usually.

"At the funeral, a bunch of nasty people from some church in Kansas showed up. They were saying all sorts of terrible things about Daniel, the war, and the country. I thought Dad was going to start shooting at them, when a group of bikers, called Patriot Guard Riders, showed up with American flags. They got between us and the protesters, revving their bikes, and blocking our view of the signs. A few of them even came into the church, and offered their sympathy and thanks on behalf of the entire group.

"They rode their bikes in the procession to the interment, and formed a line, holding their flags. After we'd buried Daniel, Dad and Grandmama went down their line, shaking their hands. Grandmama told me how surprised and grateful she was to see almost every one of them had been crying. They all said how honored they were to be allowed to attend. Grandmama asked them to come for coffee any time and that it would always be free. Some of them do come in occasionally, and, even though they try, I never let them pay.

"I didn't go back to school, that fall. I just kept working downstairs. I would wake up, go to work, and go to bed. With no direction, I just kinda dropped out of life.

"Until you."

I suddenly noticed a dampness on my shoulder, and when I looked up at Mikes face, I was shocked.

Still hugging and rocking me, Mike was silently crying. Tears were rolling off his face and soaking into my sweatshirt. Tears for me. For my pain and loss. And, because he was crying for me, I didn't have to.