Chapter 4

Coitus interruptus is never a happy occurrence, especially when it happens before either participant reaches that achingly close plateau where wonderful feelings are overcome by terrific feelings. That plateau is a really nice place to roll over on afterwards as well, while you catch your breath.

But Mortimer was too close, and the plateau was yet to be reached. Jack’s enlarged phallus fell away, plopping wetly out of Harmony’s almost-satisfied sex. Its sudden weight gain almost made it bang on the floor, but it wasn’t quite long enough for that.

“Nooooooo,” whined Harmony, and the music took on a frantic chilling note, before falling into disharmonic jangles that set the teeth on edge.

Jack worked to stuff his oversized cock back into his pants, while looking around frantically for someplace to hide. He had no intention of getting back in the oven. Last time he had been too close to getting his metaphorical goose cooked ... and the rest of him with it. Besides, it was too far away, in the other room.

“Jaaaack!” complained Harmony. “I was soooooo close!”

“I’ll make it up to you later,” he panted. “I promise! But I won’t be able to if that giant catches me!”

The only place he could see that might hide him was a magazine rack (which was really interesting, being that magazines hadn’t been invented yet), sitting beside the chair. It was made like an upside down “V”, and held magazines on both sides of it. There was just enough room for him to squeeze under it, where he froze, trying to control his breathing. Then he heard Dinah’s very loud voice.

“What in the world is going on in here?”

Harmony’s discordant music suddenly stopped.

“Didn’t I tell you?” came Mortimer’s booming voice. “I knew it was my garp.”

“Harmony!” said Dinah sharply. “What’s all that noise about?”

“Nothing, mistress,” said Harmony meekly. “I was just feeling peeved. It’s so boring around here!”

There came a sniffing sound, like the breeze in the leaves, during a very windy day.

“FEE FIE FOE FUM!” Mortimer thundered. “I SMELL THE BLOOD OF AN ENGLISHMAN!”

“Oh please!” snapped Dinah. “Not that again.”

“BE HE ‘LIVE, OR BE HE DEAD, I’LL GRIND HIS BONES TO MAKE MY BREAD!” roared the giant.

Dinah’s voice altered. She sounded almost thoughtful.

“Mortimer, dear brother, you know you couldn’t make bread if your life depended on it. Now, go on. Take your nap. You know how walking like that makes you tired. The garp was just bored. I’ll see to it that she doesn’t make those horrible sounds again. Go on now. Shoo!”

“But I smell an Englishman!” complained Mortimer.

“It’s probably just leftovers from that nice lunch we had over at Cloud Nine. I know they use ground Englishmen in their sauce, and you got it all over your fingers. You’ve been rubbing your nose again. I can see the sauce on your moustache.” Dinah sounded quite serious.

“Oh, all right,” pouted the giant. “Will you come and tuck me in?”

“In a minute,” said Dinah. “I need to speak with Harmony first. Go on. And take your shoes off now, so that your feet have aired out by the time I come in there. I don’t particularly feel like swooning right now.”

Mortimer hadn’t been gone more than thirty seconds, when Dinah put her hands on her hips, looked around the room, and calmly said, “You can come out now.”

“Beg your pardon, mistress,” said Harmony. “I’m right here.”

“I was talking about Jack,” said Dinah.

“Jack? Who’s Jack?” asked the garp innocently.

“Jack,” drawled Dinah, “is the little problem responsible for that,” said Dinah, pointing at Harmony’s chest.

The garp looked down to see that one of her breasts was still protruding from the gown she had sought so quickly to rearrange.

“Oops!” trilled the bewitched creature, fumbling at her bodice.

“That and the fact that you’ve never played music like that since we bought you,” added Dinah, peering around. “Where is he? Come out, Jack. I know you’re there.”

Jack peered out from under the magazine rack. He was all scrunched over, and his head was tilted sideways, so he couldn’t see very well, but he could tell that Mortimer wasn’t in the room, so he edged his way forward until his head popped out. Dinah’s swiveling head stopped as her eyes saw him.

“Uh ... hi,” he said weakly.

“Come out here, young man!” said Dinah, her voice tight. “We have much to discuss.”

“We do?”

There was nothing for it but to leave his sanctuary. He stood up with a groan as his complaining back ... complained. Then his discomfort was forgotten as he got his first good look at Dinah. His eyes rolled in little circles, zeroed in on her belly, which was pushing out the front of the dress she wore ... and pushing it out a good two feet!

“What’s that?” He gaped.

“Surely you little people down there know about how children are made,” said the woman, a little acid in her voice. “And how it changes a woman’s appearance.”

“You’re pregnant?!”

“See how smart you are when you try?” There was definitely acid in her voice now. “Now, little smart man ... guess who made me this way.”

Jack’s mind ran like a sprinter on steroids. He had the same fascination with women whose bellies began to bulge and grow that all young men had. And he’d been around enough of them to know how long it took to give the appearance that Dinah’s gave, even if she was overly large to begin with. And it had only been three months ... four at the most ... since he had last been in this house and engaged in the activity she was claiming was responsible for her condition. And, like most very young men, who have only a vague idea of what a stiff prick is for, he neither believed his could actually do that to a woman, nor wanted to believe it.

“I didn’t do that!” he squeaked.

“You most certainly did!” Dinah almost thundered. Harmony’s strings gave off a discordant trill that brought unease to mind. “Stop that!” growled Dinah with a quick look at the garp. The strings went silent. She looked back at Jack, who was as white as a good piece of rag paper. “You stole my virtue, little man! Yours was the first penis to despoil my femininity! And don’t you even think that I’m some kind of trollop who dallies with multiple men.”

“You were a virgin?” croaked Jack, uncomprehendingly. Somehow it was just impossible for him to grasp the concept that such a huge woman could fit that category.

“Of course I was a virgin!” She sounded almost like she was going to cry. “Until you came along with that bean-enhanced thing and ruined me.” She did, in fact sniffle a bit.