Chapter 24: And this too, will end

Mac was overjoyed at the prospects of being Kelley's date on Saturday night. I reminded him that he was merely a decoy. There would be no kissing. Touching would be limited to hand holding. This was acceptable to him.

I could tell by the way Caroline winked at me on Friday night that Mac had already informed her that he would be unavailable the following night.

I didn't say anything to Megan until after the party and we were in bed. I pulled her lower lip back and released it.

"Kelley's coming tomorrow morning. We'll have dinner at Stella's and go to the movie. Chase has agreed to be her date. You'll be mine."

Megan jumped out of my reach. "Does Kelley know what you're planning?"

"No, but I'll tell her tomorrow."

"She'll never agree to it."

"Yes, she will. I'll explain the reason to her and she'll want to help us keep up appearances. She'll sit facing Chase at dinner and you'll face me. No one will be able to tell who is with whom. It's only when we sit in the darkened theatre that you'll be sitting next to me, and Kelley will sit next to Chase."

Megan had a few more questions, but she finally accepted my word that I knew what I was doing. She didn't know that I'd told Kelley how we'd gotten each other off, or that it had prompted Kelley to tell me that she'd slept with Roger.

So far, I'd only told Caroline about Kelley's unfaithful behavior, and I wanted to keep it that way. I don't know if it was because of my own embarrassment that my girlfriend had cheated, or that I wanted to protect Kelley from the harsh thoughts of others toward her.

Hell, I hadn't even told Marcie.

We got up early and ran, showered, changed the sheets on my bed, and I took her home before going to the airport to pick up Kelley.

It was near the end of January 1993. The country was getting used to the Clinton administration, and I was getting used to the idea that my girlfriend had been unfaithful. I wasn't warming to the fact; I was merely becoming accustomed to having it nag me. The thought never left me that Kelley had let another man undress her. From there on, my mind refused to entertain what happened next. I'd had a long talk with Caroline about my feelings, and it hadn't helped. Her cavalier attitude regarding cheating and forgiving mistakes made me think I'd picked the wrong person to confide in. I hoped Kelley would be forthcoming. I needed to clear up a few things.

Kelley looked spectacular as she came walking toward me. Her hair had been cut to shoulder length; her smile was radiant, making the dimple very visible. She greeted me by jumping into my arms and giving me the kind of kiss reserved only for lovers. I picked up her bag and noted that it was heavier than a one-night stay would require. My closet was already overflowing with more of her clothes than most women owned.

"I brought your coat. You forgot it," she informed me, speaking of the leather coat she'd given me as a Christmas gift. I wondered if she'd brought the hip hugger I'd given her.

I outlined what I wanted to accomplish while we were driving to the apartment.

"Tonight, we're going to Stella's for dinner, and then to see a movie. You remember meeting Chase the last time you were here. He's agreed to be your date. I told him you'll hold hands in the movie theatre, but otherwise it will be the four of us together."

Kelley voiced a mild complaint. "I'm not holding hands with someone I've only met once."

"My God, Kelley! I'm not asking you to fuck him. You did that with Roger, and you'd only met him once before," I said, speaking before I knew what I was saying.

"Why are you treating me this way, Sammy? I thought this was going to be a time of reconciliation."

"I can't be seen alone with you. It would ruin the image Megan and I have established together. This way, we'll be able to go to dinner, and no one will question our being seated at the same table."

"That was mean of you to bring up Roger. I've told you it meant nothing."

"I'd like to believe that, but first, I need to know how it happened, what made you go through with it, and exactly what transpired."

"I've already told you I experienced the moment of truth. What more do you want?"

"Kelley, if you want reconciliation you'll have to tell me everything. Otherwise, I'm going to have a hard time purging it from my mind."

"Do you think it's easy for me?" she asked, tears welling in her eyes.

We were at the apartment. I took her bag and she followed me up the stairs. I guess she was warming up to the idea that I was running things between us.

"What's playing?"

"Unforgiven is playing with Clint Eastwood, Gene Hackman, and Morgan Freeman."

"That's a western," she said. It was a statement, not a question.

"Yeah, it's a western."

"Unforgiven is your way of punishing me." Another statement; not a question.

I hadn't considered if the title of the movie held some significance. "I like westerns."

"Unpack your coat and hang it up before it wrinkles," she said, and I took her bag to my room. In addition to the coat, there were two dresses, a pair of shoes, and a makeup kit.

"Guess what," she said, when I returned to the kitchen. She had removed her coat. "My monthly is over and I brought my diaphragm."

"Kelley, I don't think you understand what reconciliation means to me. It's not makeup sex. I told you that I need to know everything about your night with Roger. It was only one night, wasn't it?"

"I should never have told you. I wouldn't have said anything if you hadn't admitted that you cheated with Megan."

"FUCK! Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! You fucked someone, and you wouldn't have told me if I hadn't told you about Megan and me getting each other off? How many times do I have to tell you? We didn't cheat. There was no penetration."

"Sammy, I don't like seeing you this way. You're losing your temper with me."

"Pack as much of your stuff as you can carry. I'll take you to the airport," I said in the calmest voice I could manage.

"I'll tell you everything," Kelley said, in a soft voice that told me she was willing to comply with my wishes.

I didn't have any comfortable chairs in the apartment. Against my better judgment, I took her to the bedroom. I helped her with her boots and we sat on the bed, facing each other.

"I met him at a restaurant that overlooked the water. We had one drink before we ordered, and wine with our meal. It was a very nice place, and the food was excellent. I was wearing the white dress with the buttons down the front that you like so much. He complimented me on the way I looked. I kept thinking I'd get the picture of us and go to my hotel. He said the picture was at his apartment, but it was on the way to my hotel.

"He put his arm around me in the taxi. It felt like your arm around me. I was thinking of you, Sammy, honest, I was. He kissed me."

"Did you kiss him back?"

"It was just like you kissing me."

"So your answer is yes. You kissed him back."

"We stopped at his apartment building and the first thing I knew we were standing in front of it. He had released the taxi. He said we'd go upstairs, get the picture, and then he'd help me flag down another taxi. What was I to do? I went upstairs with him."

Kelley was searching my eyes, wanting me to agree with her. I simply nodded, without concurring with her judgment or criticizing her for being stupid.

"His apartment was well furnished. There was a view of a pool below. I told him that I liked to swim, and he offered to take me down to the pool. I said I didn't have a suit with me. He said he had one that would fit me, and put his hands around my waist as if he were checking my measurements. Then, I felt his hands on my breasts. I pulled away and told him I wasn't in the mood for a swim, and could I please have the picture of us.

"He said it was in his darkroom, and that I should come with him to make sure we got the right one. There was a dim light burning in the darkroom. I don't know how he ever found anything. He kissed me, and I'll swear, Sammy, it was just like you kissing me. I kissed him back."

I was beside myself, not wanting to hear any more. "Could it have been the drink before dinner, or the wine?" I asked, wanting to give her an excuse for kissing Roger back. I didn't dare mention the words, 'date drug'.

"I don't think it was the alcohol. I may have been tired and not thinking clearly. I remember reacting to him as if I was kissing you. I guess I didn't notice that he had unbuttoned the three top buttons on my dress until he had my bra undone.

"I'll swear, Sammy, it felt so much like the way you play with my breasts, that I couldn't stop him. He sucked the nipples the same way you do it. I may have called him Sammy. He picked me up and carried me to his bedroom. That's when I had the moment of truth. It lasted an eternity, much longer than it is when I'm waiting those seconds for you to insert your cock into my pussy. I kept telling myself that I should stop him. He had my dress unbuttoned all the way down, and when he put his mouth to my pussy ... Sammy, you have to accept this as the honest truth. I was out of my mind with need. I didn't want him to stop."

"Okay, that's enough," I said as I got off the bed. I'd heard all I could take.

"Wait, there's more. Please listen to the rest. Maybe it will help you understand."

I settled back on the bed, and let her continue.

"He pulled my panties off and sucked my pussy until I couldn't take anymore. I didn't pass out, but I was still recovering when I felt him entering me."

"Wait, I remember you saying that you made him use a condom."

"That was the second time. The first time he wore one without being told."

"That's good to hear," I said, intending to sound as sarcastic as possible.

"It wasn't very good at all. I kept thinking of you the entire time."

I became enraged. "Why the fuck did you let him fuck you the second time? I suppose you sucked his cock to get him hard first."

"No, he wanted me to, but I refused. I don't know why I did it the second time. I did make him put a condom on though."

Sometimes there's a fine line between laughing and crying. It could go either way. I wanted to cry, but what came out was laughter. "Let's see what we have so far. A guy offers you a photograph if you'll have dinner with him. He compliments you on how you look, and you say 'thank you, would you like to fuck?'"

I saw her expression. She was horror stricken. I had a speech planned about how he had put his arm around her in the taxi and when he kissed her, she had returned his kiss. It just happened that she had to go up to his apartment with him, and she didn't notice him unbuttoning her dress until he was playing with her breasts. She had a moment of truth, that had lasted forever, but she didn't tell him to stop what he was doing to her because if felt good.

Maybe it was the look in her eyes. Maybe it was my love for her. Or maybe it was that I remembered how close Megan and I had come to going all the way the night I massaged her thighs. I'd had my own moment of truth when I watched her squat down to dig her diaphragm out of her bag. I knew what she was doing, and I knew what we were going to do, but I didn't stop her. If it hadn't been for the ringing telephone, we would have carried out the deed, and it would be me trying to justify my actions to Kelley.

Megan had told Kelley how close we came that night. Why didn't she use that knowledge in retaliation? Could it be that Megan had painted me as the strong one, so strong that I had called a halt to what we were planning?

Kelley was crying. I pulled her to me, and felt her wet cheek against mine. She had been truthful with me. I knew it had been hard for her. I also knew that I never wanted to talk about it again. I would forget that she never intended for me to find out about her transgression. She'd only told me because I'd told her about Megan and me getting each other off.

"Did I tell you that my monthly is over?"

"Yes, Kelley, you told me."

"Would you like me to get my diaphragm?"

"No, Kelley, it's going to take me some time to get my mind clear."

"You must be backed up. Would you like for me to suck it out of you?"

Her sincere voice made me laugh. It showed she cared, but under the circumstances, I wasn't inclined to take her up on her offer. I hated myself for not being able to tell her about Caroline's visit to the apartment on Thursday night.

"Thanks, Honey, but I just want to put this behind us for now."

"You can fuck my breasts if you want to."

"Really, Kelley, I'll get by."

"What's wrong? Are you repulsed by me?"

I kissed her tearstained lips. "Maybe next time you come I'll be in a better frame of mind."

"Will you be able to trust me in the future?"

"I believe I will, but for now I need some time."

"I'm sorry I accused you of cheating. It's like Megan says; you're a rock."

I hated myself for not admitting my faults, but I wanted to leave well enough alone. Confessing my shortcomings would create more questions than I wanted to answer.

"Are you getting hungry? What would you like to eat?" I asked, getting off the bed.

"Make anything. I'll be in after I wash my face," she said.

1993 had started out ugly. I was feeling better than I had in over a month. Kelley had been candid with me. I had no reason to believe she'd left anything out or that she'd embellished any part of her description. So what if she had? I was pretty sure it would never happen again.

I resolved to never betray her trust in me. Perhaps I should give up the time I spent with Megan? The excuse we used for carrying on as a couple was a convenient fabrication. Megan could take care of herself. She wasn't the weakling I made her out to be. Still, what would I do on Tuesday and Friday nights without her? I looked forward to meeting her for lunch, and talking to her on Thursday nights.

Kelley made herself presentable, and we had an enjoyable afternoon. I told her about receiving the stock certificates as a gift from Mr. Oldham and Suzanne. She didn't berate me for passing off the hip hugger as my gift to her, nor did she mention the mean trick I'd pulled on her by having eleven roses delivered to her house.

"How much do you estimate the stock is worth?" she asked.

"Wanda thinks one percent of the companies would be valued at well over a million dollars," I answered.

"That makes you a very desirable catch, Sammy. I hope you don't broadcast that you're a millionaire at the age of twenty-one. You'd have every co-ed on the campus offering you her goodies."

"It's not like cash in the bank. I could never sell the stock," I said, hoping that she would understand that I wasn't really rich.

Kelley was thoughtful. "Let's drop a hint to my parents. Wouldn't it be nice to start married life with over two million?"

She was beginning to frighten me. Next, she would want to rearrange our schedules for the rest of the year. I wasn't sure I was going to Florida with her.

"Better get ready. I'll call for dinner reservations. Do you know what you're going to wear?"

Kelley showered first, and when I came out of the bathroom, my bedroom door was closed. She said she didn't want me to look at her until she was ready. When she appeared, she was wearing a long skirt and silk blouse. The skirt was green, the blouse was white, and her jewelry was a diamond necklace and matching earrings. Her hair was arranged on top of her head, making her two inches taller than usual. I suspected she'd done that to compete with Megan's height.

"I haven't seen the necklace and earrings before. Were they gifts from your parents?"

A thought crossed my mind. What if they had been sent to her by Roger, who was looking for a return engagement?

"Yes, do you like them?" she asked, confirming that the Harveys had given her the jewelry.

"They're lovely, and so are you," I said, and watched the dimple form in her cheek.

She insisted that I wear the leather coat over the suit she'd picked out for me. The coat didn't seem appropriate, and I didn't look forward to holding it in my lap in the movie, but I didn't argue.

Nor did she argue with me when I told her to get in the back seat. I went to the door to escort Megan to the car, and when we got there Kelley and Chase were chatting like old acquaintances. I wondered if he had expectations of doing more than hold hands with her. Megan got in the backseat with Kelley and they exchanged pleasantries.

As we were seated in the restaurant, Megan decided she preferred to sit to my left. This wasn't what we had talked about, but it made no difference. It put me facing Chase and the girls facing each other. Megan was wearing a blue blazer over a pink blouse, and her skirt was red. Her jewelry consisted of red plastic earrings. I complimented her, and she reached over to touch my cheek.

"I feel out of place," I quipped.

"Why?" they asked in unison.

"I'm sitting at a table with two beautiful ladies and a handsome gentleman."

"That's not true. You're every bit as handsome as Chase," Megan disputed me.

"That's right, Megan. Keep telling him he's handsome and he'll eventually believe you," Chase said.

"It's like I always say. Sammy's rogue appearance is appealing to the unsophisticated. He makes the rest of us swoon with pent up desire," Kelley said, touching my cheek the same way Megan had done.

Chase turned to Kelley. "Were you surprised to receive the hip hugger?"

Kelley batted her eyes at him. "I'm wearing it. Would you like to see it?"

Chase quickly turned to Megan. "And you, Ms. Freeman?"

Megan batted her eyes the same way Kelley had done. "Would you like to see it?"

I wanted to crawl under the table, but Chase howled. The three of them were at the top of their game. Kelley and Megan were competing for my attention, and Chase was clearly competing for Kelley's attention. They kept me entertained throughout the meal."

I would just as soon have called it a night after dinner. I complained that I didn't want to sit through the movie with the coat on my lap.

"Admit it, Honey. You love a good western," Kelley goaded me.

"Yes, Honey, the coat will hide my hand on your ... hum," Megan said. What had gotten into them?

Megan and I held hands, and when she moved her hand under my coat, I noticed Kelley doing the same with Chase. Why had I sanctioned hand holding? What had I created?

When we dropped her off, I was going to walk Megan to the door. She spoke to Chase and Kelley.

"Would you like to come in for a drink? I'd like to discuss the movie while it's fresh in my mind."

Chase helped Kelley out of the back seat, and they followed us to the door. Charlie was still up, but he told us Debra had gone to bed.

"Let that be a lesson to you, Kelley. That's what happens when you start a marriage pregnant," Megan said. What was she trying to do? I could see that she'd upset Charlie, and she was making me nervous. She took me by the hand. "Help me, Sammy. You make a mean Singapore Sling."

"What's gotten into you?" I whispered, when we were in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. I guess I'm jealous to know that she's going to sleep with you tonight. I'll be good."

I wanted to assure her that while we were going to occupy the same bed, nothing sexual was going to happen between us. I couldn't; she would have to accept my word.

We went back to the living room with a pitcher of Singapore Slings and five glasses. Chase and Kelley were seated on the couch. We poured the drinks. I sat in an armchair, and Megan took her usual place on one of the arms.

We talked about the William Muny character in the movie, his devotion to his dead wife, and how he'd turned down the whore that offered to give him a freebie.

"Sammy is like William Muny," Megan offered. "He turns down freebies all the time."

Her assertion created a firestorm of questions that kept me on edge for the next fifteen minutes. By the time we got back to the apartment, Kelley had enough ammunition to keep me busy answering questions about things I hadn't told her, until the wee hours of the morning.