Chapter 8

As I think I said earlier, I ain't very good at poker, but I do love ta play it. So, while I wuz waitin' fer John an' George, I found a saloon what had a poker game goin' an' sat in on it. It wuzn't no high stakes game, but it wuzn't no penny ante game, neither, soz I wuz right proud of myself fer only bein' down a little over $2 after playin' fer 'bout two hours.

By doggies, I finally got a decent hand! I had a full house an' I admit, I went wild—I put $10 in the pot. That's where I screwed myself, cuz the other players knew right away that I must of had a good hand. Usually, I had not bet over $1 nor met a raise of over $2, so my big bet wuz a dead give away. Everybody else folded, so, at least, I did recover my $2 losses so far. I pasted a silly grin on my face an' admitted how I had screwed up, an' I swore as how I'd never do sumpthin' that dumb again. I saw a lot of sage nods an' knowin' grins, soz I could see jus' how sure my new friends were that I would do that again. Hell, maybe I could use that strategy in a game sometime.

Anyway, we played some more, an' I stayed 'bout even, soz I wuz happy. I happened ta glance up an' who did I see, but Handsome Jack! That hombre had a price on his head in jus' 'bout every state an' territory in the USA. He bellied up ta the bar an' ordered a whiskey. I quietly cashed in my chips an' sidled up ta the bar close by, but not right next ta Handsome Jack. I slipped my gun out of the holster an' stuck it in his ribs. "Hello, Handsome Jack. What brings ya 'round ta these parts?"

He answered, "I'm here at the request of that gentleman right behind you who is about ta blow a gigantic hole in your stupid body if you don't holster your gun an' walk out of this saloon very slowly an' carefully."

Right then, I wuz certain that this here galoot wuz Handsome Jack, cuz he had the reputation of talkin' funny like that. I didn't hesitate, cuz I knew he had me ifen he wuzn't lyin'. I held the hammer with my thumb an' pulled the trigger. "I jus' pulled the trigger on my pistol, an' the only thin' keepin' ya from growin' a new an' slightly off-center asshole is the fact that my thumb is holdin' the hammer."

"Ah, you, Sir, are much more clever than I thought. Please be careful ta hold tight with your thumb, since I have no interest in a 'new asshole.'"

I pushed the muzzle of my gun even harder against his side an' said, "Ask yer friend ta holster his gun an' walk around where I kin see ya an' him at the same time. Ya better act right smartly, too, cuz my thumb is gittin' mighty tired."

"Jeff, please do as this gentleman requests, as I am not interested in being shot at the moment, especially at close range like this."

Another guy holstered his gun an' walked around ta the far side of Handsome Jack an' stood near the bar. "OK, y'all both put yer hands flat on the bar an' step back a little ways soz yer hands are holdin' yer weight. DO IT NOW!"

After they had stepped back an' were leanin' on the bar, I reached around an' unfastened Handsome Jack's gunbelt an' let it fall soz just the tie down wuz all that wuz holding it from fallin' on the floor. "Now, ya, Mister, ya do the same ta yer gunbelt with yer left hand, an' let it hang. When ya finish, put yer hand back on the bar."

I flipped a two-bit tip ta the swamper an' sent him fer the marshal. I asked that the marshal bring two sets of handcuffs an' leg irons. When the marshal arrived, I told him what wuz goin' on an' asked him ta put the cuffs an' leg irons on my two prisoners. He did that, an' I relaxed fer the first time in half an hour. I eased the hammer down on my pistol an' holstered it. Then I massaged my thumb ta git some feelin' back inta it. Try holdin' yer thumb like that with pressure on it fer half an hour, an' y'all will appreciate the amount of pain I wuz feelin'.

The marshall an' I marched the two prisoners ta jail. We put the men in a cell an' I started lookin' through wanted posters ta see ifen I could find the second man. No luck, soz I asked the marshal fer a receipt fer Handsome Jack. He wrote one out, an' I would use that ta collect my reward. The last time I noticed, the reward wuz fer $1,000.

I went back ta the saloon ta wait for John an' George. I'd have a nice little story ta tell 'em when they finally arrived.

Me an' Ann like ta spend time ridin' around Pa's place. There's a swimmin' hole that we like ta visit whenever the weather is right fer it. We usually take a picnic lunch an' make a day of it. I wuz kinda reluctant ta shuck my clothes the first time we went, but Ann slipped out of her clothes slick as a whistle an' jumped right inta the water. "Come on in, Sam. The cool water feels so good. I know ya will love it once ya git in."

Well, what could I say? I pulled off my clothes an' sat on the side of the pool with my feet hangin' inta the water. Ann got tired of tryin' ta git me ta come on in the water, so she started ta splash me. That finally got my dauber up, an' I went after her. We splashed each other until I had ta run away. I wuz laughin' so hard that I couldn't hardly git my breath. Fer one thin' her tits looked so funny floppin' around so much when she slung water at me.

She wuz laughin', too, an' wanted ta know what I thought wuz so funny. She kept after me 'til I told her. She laughed some more an' asked, "Do ya know why I wuz laughing?"

I had ta admit my ignorance, an' Ann said, "Yer cock looks so funny when it flops around when ya throw water at me!" Now, I didn't think that wuz so funny; how many men do y'all know who think there's anythin' funny about their cock or balls? Well, I smiled as best I could under the circumstances an' let that part of the conversation die as soon as it could.

I didn't have long ta wait, cuz Ann changed the subject a bit. It wuz still sorta 'bout my cock an' her pussy, cuz she wanted ta try fuckin' while we wuz standin' in the water. It didn't take much diddlin' on her part ta git me hard, so I kinda picked her up an' set her down on my hard cock as she guided it inta her cunt. She bounced around in that position fer a few minutes, but decided that she didn't like it all that much. She came out of the water on every up-stroke on her part (she wuz doin' most of the movement) so that she splashed water in our faces when she went back down.

I suggested that I find a place ta sit down soz she didn't come out of the water. It only took a minute ta find a good place, an' I sat down, kinda leaning back a little. Ann set herself down on my cock an' commenced ta bounce like she had ta use it up afore it went out of style. Man, I swear that felt good! Of course, fuckin' Ann always felt good, soz there wuzn't much novelty in that part of the game.

I don't know how many times she came, but I came three times! That woman didn't want ta stop 'til I told her that I jus' couldn't get it hard fer a little while. She had noticed the difference, so she got off me ta let me rest some. We ate our picnic lunch an' rested a while afore I suggested that we git back in the water. I got up an' jumped inta the water, but when Ann stood up, she couldn't hardly walk! Her pussy wuz so sore that I had ta help her git her clothes on an' climb inta the carriage soz we could git home.

I thought I did a wonderful job of bein' the sympathetic husband, but it wuz all I could do not ta laugh at her as she had trouble walkin' fer the next three days. Several people asked her how she had hurt herself, but she never would tell 'em. However, she an' her mother were sittin' in the parlor the day after our trip ta the swimmin' hole. Suddenly, I heard her mother break down in gales of laughter, so I guess that wuz when Ann told her what the problem wuz.